Immortal Jokes
51 immortal jokes and hilarious immortal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about immortal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find out why immortal jokes never get stale. Explore the power of the human ability to remember and find out how laughter is a great reliever of stress. Discover how a joke can be remembered forever and provide an eternity of joy.
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Funniest Immortal Short Jokes
Short immortal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The immortal humour may include short eternal jokes also.
- Why is the number 8 the only number that goes to heaven? When it dies it becomes immortal.
∞ - My grandfather was arrested several times... ...for selling a phony immortality elixir.
Once in 1885, again in 1922, a third time in 1964, another time in December 2021... - Scientists have accidentally created immortal frogs While running experiments, they decided to cut some of the frogs vocal cords.
Ever since then, the frogs just wont croak - I see Freddie Mercury has had an asteroid named after him. His surviving family have said how great it is to finally have Freddie immortalized in rock, and really appreciate the sediment.
- A man goes to his priest... Man: Father, I wish to become immortal.
Priest: Get married.
Man: Will that make my wish come true?
Priest: No, it will disappear. - When life gets you down, remember the immortal words of Monty Python. NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
- You know the conspiracy theories about the Queen being immortal? They didn't age as well as she did.
- I think I discovered the secret to immortality. Unfortunately it's going to take forever to test.
- I'm starting to think i'm immortal... I keep putting plastic forks into the electrical outlet and nothing happens :(
- I'm gonna die for what I believe in... But I'm an atheist and antivax, so I'm pretty much immortal
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Immortal One Liners
Which immortal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with immortal? I can suggest the ones about everlasting and eternal life.
- I just read a book about an immortal dog Couldn't put it down.
- Yesterday, I've started reading a book about immortal dog It was impossible to put down
- Have you read the best seller about an immortal dog? You can't put it down...
- I've become immortal by drinking tea! There is a steep price...
- I'm going to wait until i'm immortal Or at least i will die trying.
- What kind of bee gives you immortality? A Zom-bee!!!
- My only goal in life is to be immortal So far, so good
- In the immortal words of Hellen Keller Fnsocbfjsifbeksncjsocbdksbsbakxvrkcbfj
- Murdered for immortality. Received life sentence.
- 100% of people that receive vaccines die. Because no one is immortal.
- Where does an immortal store his files? in the MacLeod
- I think it'd be cool to be immortal for a day, just to see what it's like.
- Diablo Immortal What?! Do y'all not have phones?
- Diablo Immortal? More like Diablo Immobile
- Raisins are grapes... ...that gave up their looks for immortality.
Cheerful Fun Immortal Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about immortal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean reincarnated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make immortal pranks.
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...
...that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm immortal
Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I a**... my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.
When did the Highlander's mother find out her son is immortal?
After the third abortion attempt.
Did you hear about the immortal Chinese man with the insanely hot wife?
She was unbereavable.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This term for a long-handled gardening tool
...can also mean an immortal pleasure seeker. What is it?
A h**...?
No! It's a rake.
In Germany, we recently arrested a Guy who claims to have invented a Medicine for Immortality,
I guess he didnt learn from his Last sentences in 1925, 1845, 1738....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I ate a pill that would made me immortal today
I accidently choked to death while swallowing it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So they say m**... regularly is supposed to increase how long you live by about a year and a half.
I have done the math, and figured out that I am, in fact, immortal.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You're so u**... that, if you found a lamp, rubbed it, a genie popped out and you wished to not die a v**......
He'd make you immortal.
A Texas Biologist
A Texas biologist, who discovered that the life of a porpoise could be prolonged indefinitely if it were fed a steady diet of seagulls, has been arrested at the Louisiana border. He faces charges of transporting gulls across state lines for immortal porpoises.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my genie I wish not to die a v**...
He granted me immortality.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man finds a magic lamp, rubs it and a genie appears.
The genie says, I will grant you three wishes, but there are some rules. No wishing for more wishes, wishing for immortality, or wishing to bring someone back from the dead.
The man says, Ok, I wish to not die a v**....
The genie replies, I already told you, no wishing for immortality.
A vampire decided to use his immortality to research the best career
He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.
In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job security.
"I'm as surprised as you are," wrote the vampire. "It was not a job I could see myself doing."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone knows the story of Achilles, but no one remembers his twin brother Bophadese.
Their mother Thetis, dunked them both into the River Styx to make them immortal. She held Achilles by the heel and Bophades by the t**..., and while everyone has heard of Achilles Heel, very few are familiar with Bophades Nuts.
The biologist
A biologist races into a bar in a celebratory mood. "I've done it!" he shouts to the bartender. "I've engineered immortal frogs!" "How's that?" asks the bartender. "I removed their vocal chords. They can't croak!"
