Immigration Jokes
98 immigration jokes and hilarious immigration puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about immigration that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find out about the humorous side of Australian, Canadian and Lankan immigration! Learn about immigration jokes and anecdotes involving visas, illegals, and more!
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Funniest Immigration Short Jokes
Short immigration jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The immigration humour may include short immigrants jokes also.
- Putin visits Estonia Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".
"Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".
"Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting". - What do you call an i**... Italian immigrant? an imPASTA!
- classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at passport Control at Paris airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days." - Donald Trump says to Mike Pence, "The less immigrants we allow in, the better." Pence says, "The fewer".
Trump says, "I told you not to call me that yet." - A German man walks up to a immigration desk in Warsaw. Immigration offcier: "Occupation?"
German man: "No, just holiday." - I'm Mexican I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line. - An Israeli is going through passport control at JFK... The immigration officer asks: Occupation? The Israeli says: No. I'm just visiting."
- As an immigration officer, I may not always agree with you. But..I know where you are coming from.
- When I immigrated to the US from the USSR, I went to my first American restaurant... They asked me, "How many in your party?"
I replied, "60 million." - Only 4 percent of Texas residents think there is an immigration problem... The other 96% said "que dijo?"
Share These Immigration Jokes With Friends
Immigration One Liners
Which immigration one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with immigration? I can suggest the ones about illegal immigrants and citizenship.
- Cheap oil, no immigration and no school shootings. Corona did what Trump promised
- Lost job and no money for buy potato.
Also is cold.
Regret immigrate to Detroit. - I talked to my Republican parents about immigration. The conversation really went south.
- What was the court case between an immigrant and a priest called? Alien v. Predator.
- Canada's immigration centre has a new slogan You'll be sorry
- What's the difference between an immigrant and a notebook? A note book has papers.
- What would be the main event at the immigrant olympics? Cross country.
- Why Did The Mexican Immigrant Take Xanax? He Had Borderline Anxiety.
- Where does the president go during an immigration crisis? Hispanic room.
- What's the leading cause of Nigerian immigration? The wind.
- What do you call it when Bill Cosby attacks an immigrant? Alien vs. Predator
- Why don't firemen have poles any more? Immigration limits.
- Two Virginians and an immigrant walk into a room Diametraclly opposed, foes
- What do you call someone who comes second in a long-distance boat race? An immigrant
- Canadians pack your bags We have another immigration crisis
Canada Immigration Jokes
Here is a list of funny canada immigration jokes and even better canada immigration puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a Mexican who has immigrated to Canada? a runner with a lot of stamina
- I thanked Canada after I immigrated. They said "You're welcome".
Laughable Immigration Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about immigration you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean invasion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make immigration pranks.
Chancellor Angela Merkel visits Athens.
Angela Merkel arrives at the Athens airport & stops by the immigration check.
"Nationality?" asks the Immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?" he asks.
"No, just visiting for a few days."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the guy who was caught hiding i**... immigrants in Prague?
He got prison for caching false Czechs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not really sure about my position on i**... immigration into the US. As a Latino,
I'd say I'm on the fence.
I wanted to move to Australia for a new job
The immigration officer started asking a few questions.
Officer : What is your name?
Me : Joke Teller.
Officer : How old are you?
Me : 22
Officer : Any criminal convictions?
Me : I didn't know that was still a requirement.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Could be taken as racist, or insecure (maybe both)
What do you call a immigrant fighting a r**.... "Alien versus predator"
Yesterday I met a Chinese guy named Giuseppe Giardisi...
When asked if he was adopted, the man replied,
"No. I was queued up at Ellis Island when they called the man ahead of me. 'What's your name,' the man asked him. 'Giuseppe Giardisi,' he replied. I was next and when they asked my name, I told them, 'Sam Ting'. 'Welcome to America, Giuseppe,' the immigration officer replied as he stamped my papers."
An old American was visiting Paris and spend couple minutes at immigration control looking for his passport.
- "Monseigneur, have you ever been in Paris before?" asked officer impatiently.
- "Oh yes I have, but I didn't really have to show it" responded older gentleman.
- "Not possible, you always show passport to French officer"
-"Well the last time I landed in Normandy, I could not find a single
Frenchman to show my passport"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard there's a new movie coming out where an i**... immigrant turns vigilante and battles a child m**......
They're calling it Alien vs Predator.
A CEO, his American employee, and an immigrant applicant are sitting at a table with a box of 20 cookies...
A CEO, his American employee, and an immigrant applicant are sitting at a table with a box of 20 cookies.
The CEO takes 19 cookies, then whispers to the American employee, "Watch out, I think that Mexican is going to try and take your cookie!"
A border patrol officer stops a Mexican immigrant...
...on his way in to the U.S.
He says to the Mexican: "If you can make a whole sentence using the words Green, Pink and Yellow, Ill let you in with no delay"
The Mexican pauses to think for a few minutes then replies: "The phone goes Green-Green, I Pink it up and I say Yellow"
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license
First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
A banker, a worker and an immigrant
An immigrant, a worker and a banker are sitting at the table with 10 cookies. The banker takes 9 and then tells the worker "watch out, the immigrant is going to steal your cookie".
A german tourist arrived at Charles de Gaulle
The immigration officer greets him, " Bonjour Monsieur, Welcome to paris, Name?"
"Wolfgang Schmidt."
"Occupation?"
"Nein, Tourism."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
US has serious problem with i**... immigrants.
If you don't believe me ask any Native American.
Just learned the Finnish have a word "Kalsarikännit" which means getting drunk alone at home in underwear.
Signing immigration forms now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say there are about 12 million i**... immigrants in this country...
...but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I recently met a Chinese man and his name was Kannaswami.
I asked him: "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"
He said: "Many, many years ago when I first went to USA, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil r**....
The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?" He replied "Kannaswami".
Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"
I said, "Sem Ting".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Politics] i**... immigrants are lucky
The government is helping them escape the US
...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Despite all the flak the public gives him, Trump has already solved the immigration problem in just a few days after becoming President-elect
Just ask yourself, who would want to sneak into America now?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Remember when President-Elect Trump said immigrants were going to take our jobs?
It's all true! Just ask Michelle Obama!
I wore my "Gandalf for President" shirt to the comic convention.
It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cop pulls an i**... immigrant over near the US-Mexico border and asks "Papers?"
The immigrant responds "Scissors" and drives away
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
United States
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
Jesus walks into a bar
The barman looks up and asks "We don't serve wine here"
Jesus looks at him quizzically and goes to look for a Spanish translator because he had just immigrated from Mexico and English was not his first language.
..Trump said "Buy american, Hire american"
Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland*
he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know the most outstanding thing about our i**... immigrants?
Their warrants.
(Here come the down-votes!)
A German man is leaving a plane after landing in Poland.
The immigration officer asks him
"Occupation?" And the German man replies
"No just visiting"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
i'm not german, but this is a little jokie joke
Overheard at the White House:
Trump to Vice-President Mike Pence: "the less immigrants we let in the better."
Pence to trump: "The FEWER.."
Trump interrupts Pence and says: "don't call me that in public".
So, an Indian went to the US embassy
to get a visa for a visit to his friend placed there. When asked where he was going, he replied,"San Jose"...!
The immigration officer corrected that San Jose is pronounced ''San Hose'' ...J is pronounced as ''H''
'' So how long is your stay in San Jose?''
"7 months; from Hanuary to Huly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish guy walking through Chinatown notices a jewelry shop with has a big sign that says - Abe Goldberg jewelry.
He walks in and asks to meet Abe Goldberg. A Chinese man comes out from the back and says - herro, I Abe Golber.
The Jewish guy says, you're Abe Goldberg??? How did you get that name?
The Chinese man tells how when he was at Ellis Island, the guy in line before him was Abe Goldberg. When the immigration officer asked for his name he said - **Sam Ting**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United State
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.
One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'
The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump: The less immigrants that come in, the better
Pence: The fewer
Trump: I told you not to call me that yet
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I can't support building a wall to keep out i**... immigrants.
It's borderline racist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... goes to France
As he reaches the immigration desk, the clerk reviews his passport and asks, "Name?"
The fuhrer whispers, "Adolf h**..."
"Occupation?"
h**... shakes his head... "No, just visiting".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's it called when an i**... immigrant and a child m**... get in a fist fight?
Alien VS predator
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We already know Roy Moore's positions on crime and immigration. But, what about his position on children?
m**..., mostly.
Before the election, I told myself that I would leave the country if Trump got elected.
Well, I did it, and it only took 11 months for the immigration officials to find me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey girl, are you a Chinese immigrant from the 1800s?
Because I want to make you mine.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a Muslim bookstore wearing a Make America Great Again hat...
As he was wandering around taking a look, the clerk asked if he could help the man find anything.
Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and i**... aliens?
The clerk said, Kiss my a**...… get out… and stay out!
The man said, Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An immigrant moves to New York City from another country...
He can bearly speak broken English. He notices mice in his apartment and immediately calls the landlord to report the problem. Hello!
-Hello, what's the problem?
-You know Tom and j**...?
-Yes, Tom and j**...?
-Well, j**... problem.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump talking to his advisor...
**Trump** The lesser the immigrants we have, the better
**Advisor** You mean fewer…
**Trump** Ssshhh! Don't call me that in public yet!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If Bill Cosby rapes an immigrant...
Is it Alien Vs Predator?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump: We should have less immigrants in America!
Pence: "Fewer".
Trump: I told you not to call me that yet!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A poll was taken in California, asking if people thought i**... immigration was a serious problem. 29 percent said, 'Yes, it is a serious problem.'
71 percent said, 'No es un problema serio.'
What does U.S. immigration policy have in common with kindergarten after lunch?
Kid napping.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wanted to tell you a joke about i**... immigrants...
But it was borderline offesive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call someone who immigrates to Sweden?
An artifical swedener
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Im never smoking w**... with immigrants again.
I asked who's got papers and they all ran away.
100 years ago, a poor Polish immigrant was begging for money in New York city
Suddenly, a stranger appears and starts to talk with her.
Stranger: What is your name, sad lady
Lady: My name is Edit, I am the daughter of Solomon and Alta. I am asking for help because I have nothing to eat
Stranger: I just won this golden coin in a game of poker. I feel guilty for keeping something earned so dishonestly. Looks like you could have better use for it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...
"These b**... immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these b**... immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."
His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"
The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll tell you why. It's because they're not even trying to be British. That's why. They don't even TRY to be British. They come here, and bring their own b**... culture. They bring their own food, spit their own b**... languages, try to take over the whole b**... place."
His friend replies with "Well, that sounds British to me"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump followed through with his plan to get rid of i**... immigrants
By making America so bad they'll leave on their own.
The wife of Korean immigrant was bed ridden with a high fever.
She hadn't had consciousness for a while and she was a burning 40 degrees Celsius. Worried, the husband tries to call for an ambulance, using his broken English.
"911 emergency, how can we help you."
"Wife in bed. She so hot."
"Okay... good for you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a fight between an i**... immigrant and the nerdiest v**... you have ever seen?
Alien vs Redditor
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Irish guy is making chili for a fall cookoff
He just recently immigrated and forgot the recipe back home.
He goes to his wife, 'Mary, I forgot the recipe. How many beans am I supposed to put in?'
Mary responds: '239.'
Why my love?
Mary: any more would be too f**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump says he'll put a cap on immigrants coming into the US—I don't approve.
Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.
After many years in America, the local Korean owner of a convenience store was asked how it was that his name is Patrick Murphy.
When I come to America, there was long line of immigrants from all over the world. When immigration officer ask man in front of me where he comes from & what his name he tell him, " I'm from Ireland & my name is Patrick Murphy!" Then immigration officer writes his name down and tells him to go on to next line.
Then immigration officer ask me where I come from & my name and I tell him, " I am from Korean and my name is Sam Ting!"
Immigration pulls a Spaniard Over and Questions him
Officer: You aren't American. You shouldn't be here.
Spanish Person: But officer, I'm American.
The officer thinks about it and says, If you are, then use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence.
The Spaniard thinks for a moment and says, The phone goes green green, I pink it up and say 'Yellow'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did a Chinese guy have a Tamil name:
I recently met a Chinese man in Toronto and got to know that his name was "Kannaswami .
I asked him, "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?"
He said -"Many, many years ago when I first went to Canada, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil r**....
The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?"
He replied "Kannaswami".
Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"
I said, "Sem Ting".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We should have a TV show where i**... immigrants hunt down s**... offenders for a chance at citizenship
We can call it "alien vs Predator"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
23andme is a scam.
I know for a fact my grandparents immigrated to America from argentina, but my results still came back German .
An Englishman began procedures at the Immigration Department to move to Australia
Immigration: "Do you have a criminal record?"
British guy: "Is that still necessary?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. Wondering what is was for, he joined it.
People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front.
As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked o**..., who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this queue for and why are you now leaving it?"
The man said "This is the queue for Canadian Immigration Visas, but if you are getting one, I don't need one now."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My uncle is mad that he lost his job to an i**... immigrant
It took him forever to find a job that neither requires a third grade education nor a background check.
My brother is an immigration officer. He and I disagree on almost every topic…
…But he usually sees where I'm coming from.
I was never allowed to see Alien vs. Predator as a kid
The closest I got was watching my uncle rant about immigrants.
When my grandfather first came to this country, he had nothing but a shirt on his back.
When the immigration people finally caught up to him, they made him put on pants too.
An Asian man goes to rent a car, and the clerk sees the man's name is Herschel Leibowitz
The clerk asks him how an Asian man like himself got the name Herschel Leibowitz. He responds in a heavy accent "When I was going through immigration, we were in a line in the area where we give our names. The name of the man in front of me was Herschel Leibowitz. When they call for me to ask me what my name is, I said "Sam Ting"
