Imma Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service...

and says "Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"

How many immature people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

69.

What did the Buddhist monk say when asked to leave his temple?

'Nah imma stay.'

A boy is carrying something past an old man on his porch...

The old man sees him and says "Boy, what'cha got there?"

"Duck tape old man. Imma catch me some ducks!"

"You can't catch ducks with no duck tape." says the old man.

The boy doesn't listen and walks on. 5 minutes later the boy comes back with 10 ducks all caught up in the tape and quacking away. The man is dumbfounded.

The next day the same boy walks carrying something by the old man.

"Boy, what'cha got there?"

"Chicken Wire" the boy says "Imma catch me some chickens"

"Boy you can't catch chickens with no chicken wire." Replied the old man.

The boy walked on, and not 10 minutes later came back with no less than 20 chickens all rolled up in the wire, clucking away. The old man was dumbfounded.

The next day the boy walked by carrying something. The old man raised an eyebrow.

"Boy, whatcha got there?" said the old man

"Pussywillows" replied the boy.

"Hold on" said the old man "Just let me get my hat."

What do you call the security outside Samsung?

Guardians of the Galaxy



aight imma head out

Brilliant idea for a start-up

Imma build a new operating system which, when the disk gets full, randomly deletes half your files.

Gonna call it thanOS.

Most people tell me there are many fish in the sea.

So till i catch one imma play with my rod

Girl, imma treat you like I treat my pinky toe

I'm going to bang you on all the furniture all night long

A monkey sits in a tree when a lizard asks..

..."what are you doing?". "I'm rolling a joint" answered the monkey. "Wanna join?"

The lizard joins but after a while the lizard says "I have a strange feeling in my throat.. Imma go down to the river for some water."

On way to the river the lizard feels he smoked a little too much. And he falls right in the river.

A crocodile sees him and helps him up. The crocodile asks why he was so clumsy and fell in the river. The lizard answered by explaining everything about the monkey and the joint.

The crocodile is against psychedelic drugs, and he therefore goes into the jungle to speak with the monkey.

"Hey, you!" yells the crocodile.

The monkey sits up in the tree and looks down and says "Shiiiit... how much water did you drink?"

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hehe... 'screw'



Alternatively: 69, but everyone expects that one.

Rape isn't funny...

Unless you're raping a clown! Haha!

...The real joke is in 10 years imma get fired for this post

What did the yoga teacher say to her land lord when he tried to evict her?

Nah Imma stay

The instructor told me to just leave the yoga class if i wasn't going to take it seriously

I looked her in the eye and said "nah, imma stay"

Immaturity defined

Husband says to marriage counselor:
"My wife is so immature."
"Can you give me an example?" the counselor asked.
"Well, like every time I'm taking a bath she comes in and sinks all my ships."

Only the immature will laugh

A sausage and an egg are frying in a pan.
"It's a bit too hot in here for me, mate." The sausage says to the egg.
The egg screams, "Ahh! A talking sausage!"

What did one nut say to the other?

Imma cashew outside, how bout dat?

A short poem

Imma tell you a short poem.

it goes something like this.

------------------------------------------------------

"I dig.

You dig.

He digs.

she digs.

We dig.

they dig."

------------------------------------

Now the poem is not really good, but its quite *deep*.

The bull

A farmer is driving his tractor through his field when he spots his neighbor's five year old walking an enormous bull with a leash.

"Hey sweety! Where are ya headin' with that big bull?"

"Hiya Mr. Johnson! Imma takin' it to Maynard's t'mount his cows."

"Good, good... but cantya daddy go instead?"

"Naw, Mr. Johnson... the bull has t'go."

How the programmer got divorced

Programmer: Honey, Imma buy you diamonds for our anniversary



Wife: Oh honey! Nothing would please me more.



He got her nothing instead.

An immature kid decides to play ding dong ditch

what did will.i.am say when he got turned into a bee

imma bee imma bee

I asked a hippy if he wanted to leave the party we were at. Know what he told me?

Nah, imma stay.

(Works better if you read it aloud)

This might seem immature, but

hole

Immanuel doesn't pun,

he Kant.

What's the most immature gaming console?

Ninutendo 69

Why did the black man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?

If Imma *be* impotant, Imma *look* impotant!

What did the yoga teacher say when they were asked to leave the premises?

Nah imma stay....

mom, pull over imma bout to throw up...

West side california!! wit uppppp

What did Immanuel Kant once say?

My name is Kant but my personality isn't.

What are the funniest imma jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Imma? Well, here are the best Imma puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Imma pick up lines to share with friends.

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