Imam Jokes
43 imam jokes and hilarious imam puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about imam that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article features humorous jokes about Imams, Mullahs, and other Muslim religious leaders. Discover how these jokes draw upon the unique traditions and teachings of Islam found in mosques around the world, as well as comparisons to other religious figures such as priests and vicars. Laugh along with these contemporary, politically-correct jokes!
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Funniest Imam Short Jokes
Short imam jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The imam humour may include short sheikh jokes also.
- A priest, an imam and a rabbi walk into a Buddhist monastery and ask the first monk they find: Whats going om?
- A rabbit, a pries, and an imam are on a plane. The pries says to the imam, hey that's big chungus.
- A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar... OW! OW! OW!
"What's that bar doing there?" - Why didn't the imam want to visit the primate enclosure at the zoo? He though it would be haraambe
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Imam One Liners
Which imam one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with imam? I can suggest the ones about god allah and mosque.
- A priest and an imam walk into a bar... the rabbi ducks.
- how did the Imam order his dessert? Allah mode
- Why did the imam start a weight loss program? He wanted people to be more slim .
- What's an Imam? An I-mam is the oldest Apple product!
- What did the Rabbi say to the Imam? Nothing.
They're not talking right now. - Why is Jif the preferred peanut butter at the mosque? Because choosy imams choose Jif.
- A guy asks imam at a mosque Guy: What's the Wi-Fi password?
Imam: allahis12345 - Why was the priest also an imam? Double the prophet.
- A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a coffeeshop five feet apart cuz they're not gay
- What did the Imam say after he was replaced by immigrants? They took my hijab!
Hilarious Imam Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about imam you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean you mam jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make imam pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just watched an Imam trying to perform a tracheotomy on a Labrador while free-falling at 10,000 feet...
... I'm not sure extreme vetting for Muslims is such a good idea.
Two Americans were trekking in a desert.
Dehydrated and hungry, they walked into a mosque.
The Imam asked for their names.
Mark thought: Maybe it's wiser to pretend to be a Muslim. So he replied: My name is Ahmed.
Sam said: My name is Sam.
The Imam called his servant over, who handed Sam some food and water.
He then turned to Mark and said: Happy Ramadan, brother Ahmed.
A man bought himself an expensive new car
He was a superstitious fellow and wanted to keep anything bad from happening, so he invited a priest, an imam and a rabbi over to bless the vehicle.
First, the priest sprinkled holy water on the hood.
Next, the imam led everyone in a prayer to the vehicles' greatness.
Then finally, the rabbi sang a song & cut off the end of the tailpipe.
A priest, an imam and a rabbi
A priest, an imam and a rabbi are discussing how they decide how much money goes to god and how much they keep.
The priest goes first: "It's quite simple, we draw a line on the floor and throw the money. Everything beyond the line is for god, the rest is for us."
The imam: "Oh interesting. We do something similar. We put a bucket on the floor and throw the money. Everything in the bucket is for god and we keep what's left. What about you rabbi?"
Rabbi: "Us? Very simple. We throw the money in the air. If it keeps going up, it's for god, if it falls, it's for us."
Two guys got lost in the Egyptian desert
Both christians, one named John and the other named Thomas. They were starving and about to collapse when they spotted a Mosque, They rushed there for help. The Imam came out and asked for their names, John came up with 'Abdullah' in a panic and Thomas just said his name. The Imam hastily told the patrons to give Thomas food and water. While John had to wait and finish his fast.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young muslim in saudi arabia is wondering if he is allowed to some m**.... So, he visits his local mosque and asks his Imam if it's permissible, so the Imam told him:
No. In our country, only g**... get s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Imam preaching against the alcohol outside a bar....
Outside a Bar, Imam Abdul was preaching: Drinking is Bad,it is the root of all evils.
Man: Have you tried it?
Imam: No, Never.
Man: Ok, you try once, if you don't like it, I'll give up Drinking.
Imam : Ok, but bring it in Tea cup, I don't want people seeing me drinking.
Man goes to the bartender and says: Give me two Shots of r**... in Tea-Cup...
Bartender: Hey!Is that Imam Abdul here Again??
Abdul the Afghani
Abdul the Afghani is walking through the mountains with his wife in front of him. He meets his imam going in the opposite direction.
"Abdul, have you read the Koran? It says the wife should always walk behind her husband," the imam says.
"When the Koran was written, there were no minefields." He then yells to his wife, "keep going, Fatima!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why Islam is growing rapidly !!!
Father Francis of Bradford was unhappy that the church attendance had steadily declined in the past few years but the mosque across the street was jampacked every Friday.
So he invited the imam for a cup of tea and then finally brought up the topic
Imam :So tell me,what happens if a man visits church every Sunday and follows the word of Jesus
Father: He will go to heaven after he dies
Imam: What will he get there?
Father: He will forever be in the company of Father,Jesus,Holy Spirit,v**... Mary...
Imam: Thats the problem, Only One v**......
A Rabbi, A Priest, and an Imam...
A rabbi, a priest, and an imam were on a ship. Suddenly, the ship hit a reef just under the water and started sinking. The rabbi said to the priest and imam, "We must save the children.!"
The imam had already run to the lifeboats, yelling "Screw the children!," to which the priest replied, "Do we have time?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A rabbi, priest, and an imam walk into a bar.
"Never mind, you guys wouldn't get it," the barkeep says.
A Priest, Rabbi, and Imam are fishing on a lake
They finish the drinks in the cooler.
Rabbi: "I'll go get some more" and he walks across the water, gets more drinks, and walks back across the water.
They finish the drinks again.
Imam: "It's my turn to get more" and he walks across the water, gets more drinks, and walks back across the water.
They finish the drinks again.
The Rabbi starts to get up, but the Priest stops him.
Priest: "I've seen you both walk across the water. Jesus walked on water and if you two can do it, then I can do it. I'm getting the drinks this time."
He steps over the side of the boat and promptly sinks.
Rabbi to Imam: "Should we have told him where the rocks are?"
A Muslim Imam, after years of adherence to the Quran, begins to wonder what pork taste like...
He confesses this temptation to his wife who reaffirms that pork is strictly forbidden by their faith.
One evening, however, he gives in to his curiosity and buys a pulled pork slider on his way back from work. He finds a quiet bench in a nearby park and prepares to take a bite of his sandwich when, out of nowhere, his wife appears and begins to shout at him.
"I told you that this is wrong!" she screams. "Why are you doing this?!!"
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.
.
.
.
.
"Why?" replies the man, "I DO IT FOR HARAM BAE"
A priest, a rabbi, and an imam...
A priest, a rabbi and an imam are walking through a field discussing the glory of God. The priest comes up with an idea.
"Let's draw a circle on the ground and throw all our money in the air. Whatever lands inside the circle, God can keep."
The imam says, "I have an even better idea. Let's draw the same circle on the ground and throw all our money in the air. Except this time, whatever lands outside the circle, God can keep."
The rabbi exclaims, "I have the best idea. Let's throw all our money in the air and whatever stays up there, God can keep."
Hope this didn't offend.
So a priest, an imam, and a rabbi find a bag of money laying on the ground
They all decide that they should take but can't decide how much to give to god and how much to keep for themselves.
The priest says We should draw a circle on the ground and throw the money in the air, whatever lands inside the circle goes to god and whatever lands outside goes to us
The imam says No we should throw it in the air and whatever lands in the circle goes to us and whatever lands outside goes to god
The rabbi chimes in smugly and says How about we throw the money in the air and let god takes what he wants?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a s**... club.
All of them are disappointed at what they see.
2 Christians are lost in a desert, hungry and thirsty....
So they finally come across a mosque, and guy1 says "I'm going to tell the imam my name is Mohammed so he'll give me free food and drinks." Guy2 says "its not a good idea, I'm gonna tell him my real name." So they enter the mosque and find the imam, and they say their names. Imam says "nice to meet you guy2, please, help yourself to any food or water we have" then he turns to guy1 (Mohammed) and he says, "and you brother, hows Ramadan coming along?"
A rabbi, a priest and an imam...
... are walking in the forest and find a large amount of golden coins. They decide to split the treasure in 3 equal parts, but they also decide to share their parts with their respective communities.
-I'll draw a circle on the ground, and throw the coins it the air. What falls in it is for me, what falls outside of it is for my community, says the priest.
-I'll draw a line on the ground, says the imam, and throw the coins in the air. What falls exactly on it is for me, the rest is for my community.
-I'll just throw the coins in the air, says the rabbi, if God wants money he'll just take it, I keep what falls on the ground.
Let's pretend we're Muslims
Two Christian missionaries, David and Michael, were lost in a scorching desert, dying of thirst and hunger when they saw a mosque up front.
David said: Michael, let's pretend we are Muslims. Otherwise, we will not get any food or water and we will die. My name will be Ahmed. What will be your name? Michael refused to change his name. When both of them reached the mosque, the Imam received them well and asked their names. David: My name is Ahmed. Michael: My name is Michael. The Imam turned to his helpers and said: Please bring food and water for Michael.
Then he turned to David and said: Brother Ahmed, Ramadan Mubarak.
David & Michael were lost in a desert, dying of thirst and hunger when they saw a mosque.
David & Michael were lost in a desert, dying of thirst and hunger when they saw a mosque.
David: Michael, let's pretend we are Muslims. Otherwise, we will not get any food or water. I will be Ahmed.
Michael refused to change his name.
The both reached the mosque and the Imam received them well and asked their names.
David: My name is Ahmed.
Michael: My name is Michael.
The Imam turned to his helpers and said: Please bring food and water for Michael.
Then he turned to David and said: RAMADAN MUBARAK!
