Imagination Jokes
112 imagination jokes and hilarious imagination puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about imagination that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover how imagination jokes compare to reality jokes with this article. Learn how to create an imaginary girlfriend, the differences between imagination and reality, and why existing without gravity is so important. Explore the equation for the weightless boundary and decide if imagination jokes are the future of comedy!
Quick Jump To
- Short Imagination Jokes
- Imagination One Liners
- Imagination Girlfriend Jokes
- Imagination Gf Jokes
- More Imagination Jokes
Funniest Imagination Short Jokes
Short imagination jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The imagination humour may include short imagine jokes also.
- Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight... There would be mass confusion.
- This week in DC, mark zuckerberg is currently doing the hardest thing imaginable. He's explaining Facebook to old people.
- Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist... but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
- Andrew Tate says his romanian jail is infested with lice. "Can you imagine sharing a cell with vile parasites?" Say the lice.
- Police have arrested the world tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.
- My friend just hired a limo for £1000 but it didn't come with a driver Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it
- My ex-girlfriend tried to humiliate me by telling all her friends I was terrible in bed. Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed.
- Imagine the uproar if Blazing Saddles was made today. People would say "this is plagiarism, make your own movie".
- Wife: "Can you pick up milk?" Me: *lifts gallon*
"Yeah, it's easy."
Wife: "I mean from the store."
Me: "I'd imagine it weigh the same there too" - There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . . Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
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Imagination One Liners
Which imagination one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with imagination? I can suggest the ones about inspiration and conception.
- I dreamed I saw a color I never saw before It was just a pigment of my imagination.
- I once thought I had a japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.
- Imagine if instead of periods, women had apostrophes They'd be even more possessive.
- A friend told me my thinking is too one-dimensional. I can't imagine y.
- What do you call an imaginary color? A pigment of your imagination.
- what is it called when your crush has a crush on you too? Imagination.
- What do you call a color that hasn't been invented yet? A pigment of your imagination.
- I thought up a color that doesn't exist... It's just a pigment of my imagination.
- Imagine the Titanic with a lisp It's unthinkable
- I've decided to sell all my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay Imagine all the PayPal!
- What do you call a colour that you make up in your head? A pigment of my imagination.
- Noone actually dreams in color. It's just a pigment of your imagination.
- I made up a color in my head today. It was a pigment of my imagination.
- You guys know blue doesn't exist in nature? It's just a pigment of your imagination.
- Could you imagine a market in the Middle East? Because that would be bazaar
Imagination Girlfriend Jokes
Here is a list of funny imagination girlfriend jokes and even better imagination girlfriend puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I have a girlfriend but.... "But what?"
"She's in another nation"
"Which one?"
"Imagination" - My girlfriend says she needs some space. Which is confusing because I thought my imagination was limitless.
- I used to have an imaginary girlfriend but she left me for my best friend. Apparently he had a bigger imagination.
- My girlfriend left a note on my PS4 today. My heart stopped beating because it said "This isn't working" Imagine my relief when I turned it on and it worked just fine.
- When my girlfriend says something racist, only one thing goes through my mind. Why did I even imagine her?
- I had an imaginary girlfriend for a few years, but she ended up leaving me for my best friend. He had a bigger imagination than I did.
- I recently got a new girlfriend. Shes from a different nation. My imagination.
- My girlfriend left me because she said that I imagine things At least now I don't have to make a girl's voice
- Can you imagine going to your girlfriend's prom at 32? Well neither could Roy Moore. He preferred freshmen.
- Imagine coming home getting in bed with your girlfriend you tell her a joke and the guy under the bed starts laughing
Imagination Gf Jokes
Here is a list of funny imagination gf jokes and even better imagination gf puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My heart sank when i received a text from my gf " I can't take this anymore,let's break up " You can imagine the tears of joy I had when i received a follow up message
"Sorry ,wrong number" - Whats the difference between my ex gf and my childhood imagination? Nothing, they both don't exist anymore.
Hilarious Fun Imagination Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about imagination you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean illusion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make imagination pranks.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You can't imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him put his p**... back in his pocket.
Can you Imagine?
Can you imagine stuffing pictures of your grandmother in a strippers G string?
Imagine you are Prince Harry
I hate going through airport security...
For some reason I'm always stopped at the metal detector, even if i'm carrying NOTHING! So as you can imagine, on my latest trip, when I successfully got past the metal detector I was so pleased that I whispered "YES" to myself. As you can imagine, that didn't go down too well.
Dinner with my wife
I took my (now ex) wife to dinner to "celebrate" yet another anniversary. After drinking quite a bit I raised my glass and said:
"I love you and I can't imagine life without you"
She asked "Is that you or the wine talking?" and I told her
"That's me talking to the wine"
I was told to bring a box of tissues with me when my friends and I watched Bambi.
You can imagine my disappointment.
A married couple are having a fight.
Finally the wife screams at the husband to get out of the house. She throws his suitcases at him and he packs his things. On his way out, the woman says, "I hope you die the slowest, most miserable, most agonizing death imaginable." So he turns and says, " What, so now you want me to stay?"
The vet determined that my horse constantly imagines himself to be homeless.
He has been declared mentally unstable.
John Snow.
John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...
At the 3rd grade violin rehearsal ...
... Donnie Corleone Jr. walks in, opens his violin case and unveils, to the shock of all, a tommy gun. The teachers are livid, panic nearly ensues, but Donnie just starts laughing uncontrollably.
"What's wrong with you? This is serious! Why are you laughing?"
"Because I just imagined dad holding up the bank with my violin."
Today i thought i saw a new color...
but it turned out to just be a pigment of my imagination
A French Girl gets her Period
My friend's family is French.
His sister had this huge French flag for a bed sheet.
Then one night she got her period.
Imagine her shock when she woke up on the Japanese Flag.
I wanted to tell you all about a color I made up.....
but, as it turns out, it was just a pigment of my imagination.
Trump's ego is so big...
Trump's ego is so big that when he bangs a super-model, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off.
-Seth Macfarlane, CC Roast of Trump
TIL s**... donors are paid $50 per donation.
It was devastating. Imagine all the money that has slipped through my fingers.
I told my boss that when I get nervous, I like to imagine my audience n**......
... she said I should probably stop teaching the 2nd grade.
Am I able to think up of a brand new color...
...or will it just be a pigment of my imagination?
Two men are lost in the desert
Two men are lost in the desert. They are both severely dehydrated and extremely hungry. While stumbling over a particularly large sand dune, one man spots a tin of fig-flavored altoids.
Desperate for any sustenance, he stumbles ahead and grabs the tin, but realizes it was only a mirage.
He turned to the man behind him and said, "I guess it was just a fig mint of my imagination."
Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?"
"It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination."
My son asked me what a dilemma was?
"Imagine you're n**... and in a big bed" I explained, "A beautiful woman on one side and a gay man on the other...
Who you going to turn your back on?"
Today I saw this absolutely stunning color that I've never seen before! It was indescribable, but when I blinked, it disappeared.
I guess it was just a pigment of my imagination.
Prince Harry and William must feel so awkward in a s**... club
Imagine having to put pictures of your gran into a stripper's bra
Imagine the guy who invented maple syrup...
Hey this tree tastes way better than the last 10 trees I s**...!
Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side...
I mean, imagine all the peepholes.
Women are discussing their s**... life.
- My man is an architect. Our love life has form, vision and function, good plan as well.
- My man is an artist. Our love life has passion, imagination and improvisation.
- And my man is a programmer. He sits in bed and tells me how good it's going to be when it's ready.
I keep imagining I'm holding an invisible pack of cards
No one knows what I'm dealing with.
A son asks his father, Dad, what's a dilemma?
Well, Son, imagine you were lying in bed, n**..., and, to one side, is a beautiful, young, n**... woman, and, to the other side, is a very muscular, gay man; who ya gonna turn your back on?
Two blondes in a helicopter
Two blondes won a joy ride in a helicopter. As they reached maximum altitude one turned to the other and said "I hope nothing goes wrong, have they got enough fuel?" The other responded "I hope so too, imagine if they ran out, we'd be stuck up here forever!"
A father and a daughter are walking in a dark forest
The daughter says: Dad, I'm scared .
The father replies: Imagine how scared I'll be walking back all by myself
When I was a kid I was terrified of earwigs because I thought they were bugs that crawled into your ears.
So you can imagine my reaction when I heard about cockroaches.
A captain was flying over a mental hospital...
...when suddenly he started laughing vigorously.
"What's so funny?" Asked the co-pilot.
The captain answered: "I'm just imagining their faces when they realize I'm not there anymore"
When i was younger i had a invisible Japanese friend...
***as i grew up i just realised it was just my imagine-asian***
One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead
You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces.
Me: I got bitten on my walk by a Great Dane
**Her:** My God — imagine if it had been a small child
**Me:** I could have fought off a small child, Barb
A jewish woman goes to the hospital to give birth to her son.
Unfortunately the baby boy is born without eyelids.
The jewish woman is hysterical and says: Doctor, doctor what am i going to do? My baby boy has no eyelids!
The doctor calmly replies: Missus Levine, don't worry your son is going to be circumcised so we can do a transplant and give him eyelids.
Missus Levine says: Doctor, doctor but I don't want a son that's gonna be cockeyed!
Doctor replies: But Missus Levine imagine what foresight he'll have!
Imagine if the rest of the world changed from Kilograms to Pounds overnight
There would be a mass confusion
My friend just hired a limo for a $1000 but it didn't come with a driver !
Imagine spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?
Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.
Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?
A little boy was in a relative's wedding.
As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR -- all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear"
A mathematician arrives at work on a bike
His colleague asks "Where did you get the bike?"
"That's really curious. Imagine, I was walking down the road, suddenly that young woman comes along on this bike, jumps off, takes her dress off 'til she's n**... and says "Take what you want". So I took the bike."
"Makes sense", his colleague says, "I don't think you'd look good in a dress".
I was having s**... the other day, when all of a sudden my wife punched me right in the face.
Imagine my surprise, I didn't even hear her come home!
Today I gave a homeless man everything I had, my identity, wallet, car, house, even my wedding ring. We basically switched places.
You can't imagine how good it felt to be free of debt for the first time.
So there was this kid who was lazy and couldnt wake up early..
His mom wanted to teach him a lesson about the benefits of waking up early.
She said: Son, i am going to tell you a little story and then i want you to tell me what did you learn from it ok?
Son: Ok
Mom: imagine two birds. First bird always wakes up early and can find bugs to feed himself and his family. The second bird wakes up late everyday and cant find anything to eat. So what did you learn from this.
Son: i learned that the bugs that wake up early gets eaten by birds
If you thought alcohol was bad for your short term memory...
...just imagine what alcohol will do!
I was thinking of getting a job at the U.S. Mint
Can you imagine the amount of money I would make?
2 married ladies are having lunch in a coffee shop...
One lady whispers 'I'm getting a b**... job'
2nd lady: 'That's nothing, I'm getting my assh\*le bleached'
1st lady says: 'Really? I can't imagine your husband as a blonde'
A woman was forced to choose between two suitors to wed.
The first man was about 4 foot 5 tall and ran a very successful store that sold many fruits and vegetables.
The other man was disgusting. He was covered head to toe in boils and bedsores and smelled awful. He had not ever even seen a bath. He was pretty much the most foul human you could imagine.
Yet the woman wed the second man.
Because no matter how g**... you pictured him to be...
The first man was just a little grocer.
A vampire walks into a grocery shop and asks for a bread.
The clerk looks at him and asks: 'Aren't you a vampire?'
The vampire says: 'Yes, I am.'
To that the clerk responds: 'Oh, then I have much better stuff for you than bread. I have b**... sausages, nice fresh liver, duck blood, pork blood - whatever you want!'
The vampire replies: 'No, thank you, I want just the bread.'
The clerk asks: 'OK, but tell me - why the bread? I never imagined vampires like bread so much.'
The vampire looks at him, leans closer and says: "There is a huge car c**... at the intersection. I want to dip.'
Imagine my delight yesterday when my 6yr old told me her new teacher's name is Mrs Watt.
Cue about 10mins of me asking "What's her name?"
And her saying "Mrs Watt"
"I don't know, you tell me, what's her name?"
"Mrs Watt"
"What?"
"Yes"
"What's her name?"
"Mrs Watt"
...
...
...
A man asked a widow if he could say a word at her husbands f**.... She said "Certainly."
He stood up and said "Plethora" , and the woman said "Thanks, that means a lot."
And another man stood up and said, "Bargain" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means a great deal."
Yet another stood up and said, "Earth" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means the world."
Yet another stood up and said, "Infinity" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means more than you can imagine."
Yet another stood up and said, "Being Alive" and the woman said, "Thanks, my husband would have loved that."
Another person simply held up a sprig of mentha spicata, and the widow said, "Thanks, that's a lovely scent of mint."
A lesbian couple asked me to help them conceive a baby
So I told them, "Well, imagine an adult, but smaller, mostly hairless, and it s**... itself a lot."
Thinking of changing my name to Authorized Personnel
Imagine the places I could go with a name like that.
The Lawyer
Satan appears before a lawyer and says, "I will make a deal with you. You will become the most successful attorney who has ever lived. You will be rich beyond imagination, and known to everyone on the planet. You will be appointed to the Supreme Court, and your rulings will be read and studied for decades to come. All I ask in return is the souls of your wife and your three children."
The lawyer sits with his head in his hands, thinking for several minutes. Finally he says, "Okay, what's the catch?"
I just found out that my friend broke all his fingers in a freak accident.
I can't even imagine how he feels.
Hillary and Bill sneak away from the secret service
Hillary and Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a drive. The two end up at a gas station and when they walk in, Hillary recognizes the clerk.
Hillary says hello to him and the two walk out. She turns to Bill and says I used to date that guy before I met you
Bill laughs and laughs and says wow, imagine where you'd be if you would've married that guy!
Hillary looks back at Bill and says I'd be married to the President of the United States
~ Courtesy of my father
A sad first attempt at a joke
(It's my first time posting here. Don't blame me for the terrible joke lol)
A lawyer just lost a career making/breaking case so Satan sees this as an opportunity to approach him and make him an offer.
Satan: I will make you the most successful lawyer in history. You will never lose a case again. You will be famous. You will be wealthy beyond your wildest imagination.
Lawyer: What's the catch?
Satan: I want the souls of your parents, your siblings, your spouse, your children and all your future descendants for d**... in h**... for all eternity.
Lawyer: Okay, but what's the catch?
"I know where babies come from."
After coming home from school and sitting down on the couch, young Jenny proudly proclaimed "Mommy, I know where babies come from!"
Imagining storks and unicorns, her Mom said "OK, then why don't you tell me Honey."
Jenny says "The Mommy and Daddy take off their clothes and start hugging, then the Daddy's thingy stands up, and the Mommy kneels down and cleans her teeth with it."
Mom says "That's sweet Honey, but that's not where babies come from, that's where jewelry comes from!"
My wife was shocked when she found out I was homosexual
But imagine my shock when just prior I found out she wasn't a man.
A golfer went to a fortuneteller
He asked, "can you tell me if there are golf courses in Heaven?"
The fortuneteller entered a trance to ponder his question. After several minutes she responded- "I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, the golf courses in Heaven are beautiful beyond any earthly imagination."
"That's wonderful!" said the golfer.
"And you'll be teeing off at eight-thirty next Friday."
Yesterday I donated my phone, wallet and watch to a poor guy...
You can't imagine the happiness that I felt as I saw him putting the gun back in his pocket.
