Imaginary Friend Jokes
78 imaginary friend jokes and hilarious imaginary friend puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about imaginary friend that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Imaginary Friend Short Jokes
Short imaginary friend jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The imaginary friend humour may include short imaginary girlfriend jokes also.
- My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary...
Well the jokes on them – they're imaginary too... - I have an imaginary friend, but he keeps making fun of me. He keeps saying, At least I have a real friend.
- All my friends keep saying that my new girlfriend is imaginary... Joke's on them, so are they!
- I'm Jealous of my imaginary friend I'm jealous of my imaginary friend because he has a real friend
- When I told my friends about my Lamborghini, they laughed and said it was imaginary. Jokes on them, 'cause they're imaginary, too.
- I got teased by my friends, because they thought my girlfriend was imaginary Jokes on them - they are too.
- I used to have an imaginary girlfriend but she left me for my best friend. Apparently he had a bigger imagination.
- My friend stopped talking to me... Thanks to his imaginary psychiatrist who told him I wasn't real.
- When I was a kid, I only had two friends and they were imaginary. It was too bad they only ever played with each other.
- I always hang out with my imaginary friend. People used to think I'm crazy talking to myself in public.
But everything is fine now; I wear airpods.
Share These Imaginary Friend Jokes With Friends
Imaginary Friend One Liners
Which imaginary friend one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with imaginary friend? I can suggest the ones about imaginary and imaginary numbers.
- My imaginary friend's coming to stay tonight So I've made up a bed for him
- I had an imaginary friend growing up...he was an alcoholic. I called him Dad.
- What do you call an adult with an imaginary friend? Religious
- Hey, what's a good sign that you're going insane? I'm asking for an imaginary friend.
- I made a real friend today I multiplied my imaginary friend by sqrt(-1).
- My imaginary friend died in the emergency room waiting area Doctors refused to admit him
- I like my girlfriend like my friends Imaginary.
- Did you ever have an imaginary friend? Why yes, I did! Really? What was his name? Dad.
- I had an imaginary friend once But he stopped believing in me.
- My friends are like the square root of -1 They're imaginary.
- What do you call a girl that likes you An imaginary friend
- What do you call it when an Asian's imaginary friend dies? Make-bereave
- When you square root a negative number the result is imaginary Just like my friends
- Jesus teaches us.... You are never too old to have an imaginary friend!
- I was shopping for shoes for my imaginary friend He was a size 10i
Cheerful Fun Imaginary Friend Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about imaginary friend you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean imagination girlfriend jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make imaginary friend pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Now that I'm older, I realize that my imaginary friend was really nothing more than an imaginary acquaintance.
What's the best imaginary friend of all mathematicians?
Square root of minus one.
My atheist, mathematician friend insists religion is negative...
Because at it's root, it's imaginary!
My imaginary friend has got a fake ID.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental health issues
Adults have imaginary friends too...
his name is God.
What did the boy say to his imaginary friend?
I have no friends.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating with my imaginary friend...
I told her you have gone completely nuts, I don't even have a girlfriend.
Why can't blind kids have imaginary friends?
Their i's don't work
What do you call someone with lots of imaginary friends?
Schizofriendic
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had an imaginary friend as a kid.
j**... STILL owes me money!
My classmate was complaining that the only friend she had through her childhood was an imaginary friend...
I told her to rotate it 90 degrees.
Today my dad asked what I was talking to
"My imaginary friend"
"Oh what's their name?"
"Womens rights"
My friend was having trouble with a maths question - They couldn't decide if a number was real or imaginary
I told them not to try and simplify something so complex.
I found out my friend is addicted to math.
I should have known. All the sines were there. He had a hard time functioning, and he would go off on tangents all the time. Such a shame - he was in his prime, his life was on a great vector. He wanted to write the next 'Matrix'. But now, he can't differentiate between what is real and what is imaginary. It's so complex. I'm afraid his problems will start to multiply exponentially, and he just doesn't understand the root of it all. Pretty soon he won't be able to integrate at all. And just to add to the trouble, those he defines as 'friends' just want to divide his space between themselves. I'm afraid soon he'll go off into the Great Unknown...
I went to a lawyer to change my will today, but it turns out, I can't leave all my money…
…to an imaginary friend, unless they have a church…
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A child with an imaginary friend is normal
An adult with an imaginary friend is strange,
And a group of people with an imaginary friend is called religion.
What do you call a kid with an imaginary friend?
Creative.
What do you call an adult with an imaginary friend?
Crazy.
What do you call an adult with an imaginary friend who lives in the sky?
Religious.
My therapists says I'll never improve unless I stop talking to my imaginary friends, but what does he know?
He's not even real.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my Imaginary Friend if we could ever have s**..., and do you know what she said?
"In your dreams."
I'm not upset
It's fine that my imaginary friends decided to go see a movie and not invite me. We don't have to do everything together. But why couldn't they walk or take the bus instead of borrowing my car?
How would Madame Foster begin the process of putting her Home for Imaginary Friends up for sale?
By contacting a Fake Estate Agent.
My girlfriend got sick of my self esteem issues and ran off with my best friend.
The worst part is they were both imaginary.
I've always had trouble connecting with people...
Even as a child my imaginary friend would ditch me to play with the kid across the street
When I was younger, I had an imaginary friend. I'd talk to him and he could hear me and he could grant me wishes and stuff too
Then I grew up and stopped going to church.
Are you tired of only having imaginary friends?
Just multiply them by the square root of negative one. Then you'll have real friends!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My imaginary friends have been ignoring me recently and generally just being mean
But I know where they live and have half a mind to really wreak some havoc.
My roommate just told me this joke that he thought up at 2 am: "What's the difference between a little kid and a religious man?"
The little kid eventually outgrows his imaginary friend.
I had it rough growing up. No friends, at all...
It was just me and Black Bart,
My imaginary enemy.
I spoke with my mathematician friend about gender issues, and he agreed they're complex.
Specifically, two real and a whole bunch of imaginary.
When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend
Now thanks to social media I have hundreds of them!
Me: i'm going to meet with my friends molly, Lucy and DiMiTri
Dad: son, I've had imaginary friends too, i still do, don't tell your mom.
Why iam single
A friend of mine asked how single I was
Me: whenever a romantic song plays I imagine myself with an imaginary girlfriend just to make it relatable.
If a person has an imaginary friend it's considered strange...
But if millions of people have an imaginary friend it's religion.
Estate planning
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Spent all morning with my estate planning lawyer working on my will," he tells the bartender. "Turns out I can't leave all my money to an imaginary friend. Unless they have a church."
My doctor said that I should go on antipsychotics,
But my imaginary friend told me not to.
Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health
If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.
