Ikea Jokes

Funniest Ikea Short Jokes

Short ikea jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ikea humour may include short furniture jokes also.

1. The people who write instructions for places like IKEA must be in good shape. All that manual labor
2. My kid says he came up with this one: A guy goes to interview for IKEA... The manager says Welcome! Come in and make a seat.
3. Girl named IKEA had to change her name to stop being picked on at school. However stop being picked on at school is arguably a worse choice.
4. I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying, "Come in, make a seat."
5. What's the difference between IKEA and Theresa May? A cabinet designed by IKEA doesn't fall apart so easily.
6. IKEA said if they catch me stealing anything else I'll be banned for life But that's a whisk I'm willing to take
7. I don't know why the beautiful attendant at IKEA reported me to the police All I asked was, "How much for one night stand?"
8. 10% of european babies are conceived on an IKEA bed. So, be sure to follow the instructions.
   Put Peg A into Slot B, and then screw until the nuts tighten.
9. So I'm in Ikea.... ...and I ask the salesperson, "Is this a finished desk?"
   and she says, "No, it's Swedish."
   (edited to make more better)
10. It's 2021, and President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task

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Ikea One Liners

Which ikea one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ikea? I can suggest the ones about appliances and outdoor.

1. ceo of IKEA is now the Prime Minister of Sweden He is currently assembling his cabinet.
2. Thor, Iron Man and Hulk walk into IKEA... Avengers... Assemble
3. IKEA won't stop calling me. But all I wanted was one night stand.
4. My old school was sponsored by IKEA... Assembly took ages.
5. I went to one of those escape rooms and got out in only 3 hours It's called Ikea
6. Stands, tables, meatballs, sofas and Sweden It's an IKEA joke...some assembly required
7. What does a person obsessed with IKEA suffer from? Stock-home Syndrome
8. I went to the worst escape room ever. Its called IKEA.
9. Picked up my new rug from Ikea! It's just a sheep and a spinning wheel
10. I had one nightstand yesterday.... Thanks to the IKEA sale,today I have two
11. I know a joke about Ikea punchline yourself together have But you put the to .
12. Just been diagnosed with Swedish flat pack syndrome. Sadly I have no IKEA what it means.
13. I bought ladders from IKEA today. They came with step by step instructions.
14. What's that company that sells the table's legs separately? IK*EA*
15. I orderd a book from IKEA Got a book with a blank pages and a pen

Ikea Assembly Jokes

Here is a list of funny ikea assembly jokes and even better ikea assembly puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My doctor just diagnosed me with very low blood pressure. He prescribed two IKEA self-assembly wardrobes.
• So the wolf of Wall Street has the f word used 569 times making almost 3 times a minute That record was broken by my dad this afternoon while trying to assemble an ikea tv stand
• I recently rejected a junior software dev job at IKEA. I kinda know java, kotlin and some php but unfortunately Assembly was required.
• So Marvel and Ikea decided to do a crossover series. Marvel replaced the "Suit up" catchphrase with... ..."Avengers Assemble".
• An arm amputee bought a wooden cupboard from IKEA which was sent to his home for his self assembly. Needless to say, he was stumped.
• A guy goes to Ikea for a job interview Welcome sir, nice to have you. Please assemble that chair over there and take a seat.
• Ingar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA has passed away - flat pack coffins
  - Allen key
  - left over parts
  - missing screws
  This joke needs some assembly
• I bought a book on programming at IKEA. There was some assembly required.
• I like IKEA furniture, but... ...I hate that I have to assemble it my shelf.
• We All KEA! My first day on the job at an IKEA store, I was told by my boss that employees needed to go to the meeting room before every shift. I asked why. He said, "Assembly required."

Ikea Furniture Jokes

Here is a list of funny ikea furniture jokes and even better ikea furniture puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Now that Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA, is dead... ... Do we have to buy our furniture from EA?
• I met a rude Australian once I asked him if he knew of a furniture store nearby. He said "Does it look like ikea?"
• I would tell you a joke about Ikea furniture... But the setup takes to long and the final product is mediocre.
• Why do hippies shop at Ikea? Because no trees were harmed in the making of their furniture.
• What does IKEA furniture do when it's stolen? Activates its shelf destruct sequence.
  I'll see myself out...
• What do you call IKEA furniture you put in coffee? Artificial swedener
• I hate it when people tell me the're going to a Swedish furniture shop Does it look like Ikea?
• I was kidnapped by the president of IKEA... Now I can`t stop buying furniture...
  I have stock home syndrome.
• The incoming presidential cabinet is like Ikea furniture. The directions come from something impossible to read, it will barely last 4 years and definitely has a few screws loose.
• What did the allen wrench say to the IKEA furniture? Screw you!

Swedish Ikea Jokes

Here is a list of funny swedish ikea jokes and even better swedish ikea puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The other day a Swedish man called me a racist and a believer of stereotypes... So Ikea'd his car.
• A man is on his way back from IKEA, his wife phones him and says are you bringing some dinner back? He replies Yes love, I've picked up a Swedish meatball selection, and ITS COMING HOME!
• I speak Swedish with an Ikea accent.
• Ikea Meatballs There certainly a sweDISH
• Ikea is Swedish for DIY
• What do Alexander Skarsgard and Ikea have in common? Swedish meatballs

Ikea Instructions Jokes

Here is a list of funny ikea instructions jokes and even better ikea instructions puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Ikea failed miserably at processed meat products business Someone ordered meatballs and Ikea sends them a cow with DIY instructions

Laughter Ikea Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about ikea you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean globe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ikea pranks.