Ignorance Jokes
73 ignorance jokes and hilarious ignorance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ignorance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Ignorance jokes take a light-hearted look at the pitfalls of being unaware. Learn the humor in feeling powerless, irrational, or lazy. With a dash of positivity and an emphasis on acceptance, it's easy to see why these jokes are so popular.
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Funniest Ignorance Short Jokes
Short ignorance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ignorance humour may include short ignorant jokes also.
- A boomer, a millennial and a zoomer walk into a bar That's right- Gen X just got ignored again.
- My girlfriend treats me like God She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
- Too soon for COVID jokes? COVID is like fashion…
We started hearing about it in Italy…
Became popular in LA and NYC…
Florida ignored it…
And it was all made in China in the end. - My daughter just got me good… I said, Did you know you can always see your own nose and your brain just ignores it? She said yeah because it nose it's there
- Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics
Interviewer: Could you give me an example?
Me: Yes I could - My caller id said "private caller", so I ignored it. I only pick up if it says "lieutenant caller" or higher.
- Growing up, my dad said we should treat him like a god... ...so we pretty much ignored him until we were sick, hurt, or broke.
- My wife and I use the pull-out method for birth control .... we pull out our phones and ignore each other all night.
- My wife left me because I am "ignorant" and "apathetic". I don't know what that means, but I don't care.
- There are hundreds of features on a brand-new BMW; heated seats, bluetooth audio, laser-headlights, etc... Which among them goes completely ignored? The turn signals.
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Ignorance One Liners
Which ignorance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ignorance? I can suggest the ones about stupidity and unaware.
- Pro-Tip: If a girl in a hot bikini DMs you about crypto Ignore him.
- People treat me like a god They ignore my existence unless they need something
- Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign? It was just the two of them.
- At home, they treat me like God. I'm generally ignored until someone wants something.
- i tried to ignore my girlfriend's bulimia but she kept bringing it back up
- I get ignored so much. My name should be Terms and Conditions.
- Americans may be ignorant of other cultures... But at least we invented the hamburger
- Ignore those who call you fat. You are bigger than that.
- How can you tell ignorance from indifference? I don't know and I don't care.
- whats the difference between ignorance and apathy? idk and idc
- Sometimes I like to pretend I am a cat ...and ignore my wife until it is dinner time
- What do you call someone who has never paid attention to ants? Ignorant.
- "Doctor doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me!" "Next please."
- If ignorance is bliss... Why are all my friends so unhappy ?
- What do ignorance and indifference mean? I don't know, and I don't care.
Ignorance Is Bliss Jokes
Here is a list of funny ignorance is bliss jokes and even better ignorance is bliss puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are accordion players always so happy? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don’t know any better.
- Is ignorance really bliss? I'm happy to report I don't know.
- They say blondes have the most fun They also say ignorance is bliss.
- A gorilla walks into a bar. He's not the smartest gorilla, but ignorance is bliss at the zoo.
- Treat everyday like it's your last. In blissful ignorance.
- If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.
- Some people say ignorance is bliss. I don't know what that means, but I don't mind.
- They say that ignorance is bliss But I'm just as happy not knowing!
- Republican lawmakers are to release new fragrance for their supporters Bliss by Ignorance
- Marriage = bliss and ignorance = bliss... Therefore...
Hilarious Ignorance Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about ignorance you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean disbelief jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ignorance pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The first time I had s**..., it was in my parent's bedroom. My girlfriend giggled nervously and moaned, This is a bit awkward.
I grunted, Just ignore them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Ballerina
This n**..., sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the woman c**... it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"
Someone just told me ignorance and apathy are the world's two biggest problems
I didn't know that, but I don't really care.
A woman's anger is like a Check Engine light...
There's no easy way to know what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The McDonalds
When I was 8 I brought in my tomogatchi (**ignore spelling**) to a McDonald's. my family sat down to eat and I saw this girl with a tomogatchi too. She stares at me then goes into the bathroom. I wait a minute then follow her in. She was waiting for me. We linked our games and had tomogatchi babies together.
Still to this day, the most s**... thing I have ever done.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Farmer tries to breed pigs
A farmer bought some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet.
The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pigs are pregnant?"
"Easy. When they lie down and wallow in the mud." The farmer hung up and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination must mean that he has to impregnate those pigs himself.
So he loaded them onto his truck, drove them out into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and then went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs.
Since they were all still standing around, he concluded that his first attempt didn't take, so he loaded them into the truck again, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs. They are still just standing around.
"Once more," he told himself, and loaded them onto the truck, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed.
The next morning, he can't even lift himself off the bed. He asked his wife to see if the pigs are wallowing in the mud yet.
"Nope," she said. "They're all in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A drunk man approaches two overweight women after overhearing their conversation...
and says to them:
"Hey! I recognize that accent! Which part of England are you two lovely women from?"
Annoyed at the man's ignorance, they exclaim: "It's Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry! Which part of England are you two lovely *whales* from?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The difference between rural, suburban, and urban.
- If you stand n**... on the front porch and the neighbors can't see you, it's rural.
- If you stand n**... on the front porch and the neighbors call the cops, it's suburban.
- If you stand n**... on the front porch and the neighbors ignore you, it's urban.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Scotsman moves to London
How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock? asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen.
It's okay, he replies, but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps b**... his head on the wall.
Never you mind, says his mother, don't you let them get to you, just ignore them.
Aye, that I do, he says, I just keep playing my bagpipes.
In law school...
Professor: What is fraud?
Student: If you don't let me pass the exam, you've committed fraud.
Professor: (surprised) how so?
Student: According to the law, those who take advantage of others' ignorance to cause them losses are committing fraud.
My grandson asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone.
When he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me
A man asked me, which is worse, ignorance or apathy?
I told him, "I don't know, and I don't care."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know a g**... Tinder is real?
When they ignore you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was having a prostate exam...
Me:*squirms
Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an e**... at a time like this.
So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's s**... when girls say they can't find a guy, yet they ignore me.
It's like saying you're hungry when there's a hotdog on the ground outside.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement.
In the end you ignore it all and just click "I agree"
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.
She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The best in town!
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best s**... in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, dad, you're drunk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ever since I went through with my s**... change operation my kids have been completely ignoring me
It's like I'm transparent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If someone calls you fat, ignore them
You're bigger than that
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If someone calls you Fat, just ignore them.
You are bigger than that!
Found this one in my 2014 meme stash
A police officer pulled over a car on a deserted highway and told the driver, "Congratulations! You're the first person here today who was wearing a seat belt and now you're entitled to a prize of 1000$. What are you gonna do with your money?"
"Well", replied the man, "I think I'm gonna get a driver's license."
"Oh, Ignore him.", his wife said, "He always speaks nonsense when he's drunk."
"I KNEW IT!", his father bellowed from the backseat, "I KNEW WE WON'T GET FAR IN A STOLEN CAR."
Then came the voice from the trunk, "Are we over the border yet?"
Not to brag, but I feel like a God to my friends
Usually ignored of my existence until I am needed for something
Teacher asks their class of children to come up with a sentence beginning with "I"
After a few children come to the front with predictable statements about having a cat or a certain toy, a child steps up and says
"I is-" and is immediately interrupted by the teacher,
"I *am*!"
She side-eyes the teacher, frowns and ignores her teacher, starting again
"I is-" again, the teacher interrupts her, this time a little more snappily
"It's I *am*! Use the proper word!"
The girl turns to look at her this time, eyelids drooped with exasperation.
"Fine," she sighs "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Saw my doctor today and showed him the bleeding coming out of my a**....
He completely ignored me, and carried on pushing his shopping basket in Walmart
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Reporter to a man on the street
"Sir! What do you think about the ignorance and apathy of the public in our society?"
"Uhhh ... I don't know, and I don't care."
There is a short time, later on in every woman's life, when she ignores the opposite gender for a while
It's called men-on-pause
Is it ok to ignore dumplings in my Chinese takeout?
Or will I be charged with wonton neglect?
Inner Peace
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ...
