Ignorance Jokes
73 ignorance jokes and hilarious ignorance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ignorance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Ignorance jokes take a light-hearted look at the pitfalls of being unaware. Learn the humor in feeling powerless, irrational, or lazy. With a dash of positivity and an emphasis on acceptance, it's easy to see why these jokes are so popular.
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Funniest Ignorance Short Jokes
Short ignorance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ignorance humour may include short ignorant jokes also.
- A boomer, a millennial and a zoomer walk into a bar That's right- Gen X just got ignored again.
- My girlfriend treats me like God She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
- Too soon for COVID jokes? COVID is like fashion…
We started hearing about it in Italy…
Became popular in LA and NYC…
Florida ignored it…
And it was all made in China in the end. - My daughter just got me good… I said, Did you know you can always see your own nose and your brain just ignores it? She said yeah because it nose it's there
- Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics
Interviewer: Could you give me an example?
Me: Yes I could - My caller id said "private caller", so I ignored it. I only pick up if it says "lieutenant caller" or higher.
- My grandpa tried to warn everyone The titanic was gonna sink. When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.
- Growing up, my dad said we should treat him like a god... ...so we pretty much ignored him until we were sick, hurt, or broke.
- Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement. In the end you ignore it all and just click "I agree"
- My wife and I use the pull-out method for birth control .... we pull out our phones and ignore each other all night.
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Ignorance One Liners
Which ignorance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ignorance? I can suggest the ones about stupidity and unaware.
- If someone calls you Fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
- Pro-Tip: If a girl in a hot bikini DMs you about crypto Ignore him.
- People treat me like a god They ignore my existence unless they need something
- Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign? It was just the two of them.
- Women treat me like God. My existence is ignored except for when they need something.
- At home, they treat me like God. I'm generally ignored until someone wants something.
- My wife treats me like God, she ignores me until she wants something
- i tried to ignore my girlfriend's bulimia but she kept bringing it back up
- Women treat me like a god They ignore me till they need something
- My girlfriend treats me like a god She ignores me till she wants to ask for something
- I get ignored so much. My name should be Terms and Conditions.
- People treat me like a god. They ignore my existence unless they want something from me.
- I made some fish tacos but they just ignored them and swam away.
- Americans may be ignorant of other cultures... But at least we invented the hamburger
- If someone calls you fat, ignore them You're bigger than that
Ignorance Is Bliss Jokes
Here is a list of funny ignorance is bliss jokes and even better ignorance is bliss puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are accordion players always so happy? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don’t know any better.
- If ignorance is bliss... Why are all my friends so unhappy ?
- Is ignorance really bliss? I'm happy to report I don't know.
- They say blondes have the most fun They also say ignorance is bliss.
- A gorilla walks into a bar. He's not the smartest gorilla, but ignorance is bliss at the zoo.
- Ignorance is bliss and patience is a virtue. If you're dumb and don't mind waiting around.
- Treat everyday like it's your last. In blissful ignorance.
- If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.
- Some people say ignorance is bliss. I don't know what that means, but I don't mind.
- They say ignorance is bliss. But I don't know what either of those words mean.
Hilarious Ignorance Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about ignorance you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean disbelief jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ignorance pranks.
The first time I had s**..., it was in my parent's bedroom. My girlfriend giggled nervously and moaned, This is a bit awkward.
I grunted, Just ignore them.
Someone just told me ignorance and apathy are the world's two biggest problems
I didn't know that, but I don't really care.
There are hundreds of features on a brand-new BMW; heated seats, bluetooth audio, laser-headlights, etc... Which among them goes completely ignored?
The turn signals.
I had a job interview...
...the interviewer slid his laptop across the table and said "sell this to me."
I closed the screen, unplugged it, and left.
I ignored his calls for about three hours. When I did answer, he said "Where is my laptop?!"
"You wanna buy it?"
A drunk man approaches two overweight women after overhearing their conversation...
and says to them:
"Hey! I recognize that accent! Which part of England are you two lovely women from?"
Annoyed at the man's ignorance, they exclaim: "It's Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry! Which part of England are you two lovely *whales* from?"
The difference between rural, suburban, and urban.
- If you stand n**... on the front porch and the neighbors can't see you, it's rural.
- If you stand n**... on the front porch and the neighbors call the cops, it's suburban.
- If you stand n**... on the front porch and the neighbors ignore you, it's urban.
Credit to someone on /u/jasonreid1976's Facebook.
A Scotsman moves to London
How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock? asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen.
It's okay, he replies, but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps b**... his head on the wall.
Never you mind, says his mother, don't you let them get to you, just ignore them.
Aye, that I do, he says, I just keep playing my bagpipes.
After I changed s**..., my daughter has been ignoring me..
It seems like I'm transparent
The first time I had s**... was in my parents' bedroom
My girlfriend said "it's pretty awkward".
"Just ignore them", I said.
How do you know a g**... Tinder is real?
When they ignore you.
I was having a prostate exam...
Me:*squirms
Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an e**... at a time like this.
So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.
It's s**... when girls say they can't find a guy, yet they ignore me.
It's like saying you're hungry when there's a hotdog on the ground outside.
At a job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?
Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.
Interviewer: Could you give me an example?
Me: Yes, yes I could.
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.
She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
The best in town!
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best s**... in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, dad, you're drunk.
Ever since I went through with my s**... change operation my kids have been completely ignoring me
It's like I'm transparent.
A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business.
His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!"
"I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"
A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"
The kid ignores him.
"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"
The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."
"Call of Duty, right? I told you I'd bang your mom."
Not too sure I got the job....
Interview I had for a job:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Interpreting semantics of a question,
but ignoring the pragmatics."
"Could you give an example?"
"Yes, I could."
Found this one in my 2014 meme stash
A police officer pulled over a car on a deserted highway and told the driver, "Congratulations! You're the first person here today who was wearing a seat belt and now you're entitled to a prize of 1000$. What are you gonna do with your money?"
"Well", replied the man, "I think I'm gonna get a driver's license."
"Oh, Ignore him.", his wife said, "He always speaks nonsense when he's drunk."
"I KNEW IT!", his father bellowed from the backseat, "I KNEW WE WON'T GET FAR IN A STOLEN CAR."
Then came the voice from the trunk, "Are we over the border yet?"
Teacher asks their class of children to come up with a sentence beginning with "I"
After a few children come to the front with predictable statements about having a cat or a certain toy, a child steps up and says
"I is-" and is immediately interrupted by the teacher,
"I *am*!"
She side-eyes the teacher, frowns and ignores her teacher, starting again
"I is-" again, the teacher interrupts her, this time a little more snappily
"It's I *am*! Use the proper word!"
The girl turns to look at her this time, eyelids drooped with exasperation.
"Fine," she sighs "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
My wife left me because I am "ignorant" and "apathetic".
I don't know what that means, but I don't care.
Saw my doctor today and showed him the bleeding coming out of my a**....
He completely ignored me, and carried on pushing his shopping basket in Walmart
There is a short time, later on in every woman's life, when she ignores the opposite gender for a while
It's called men-on-pause
Is it ok to ignore dumplings in my Chinese takeout?
Or will I be charged with wonton neglect?
Inner Peace
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ...
Did you hear about the doctor that ignored an eye infection and went blind?
He examined himself, but couldn't see anything wrong.
