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Ignition Jokes

18 ignition jokes and hilarious ignition puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ignition that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Ignition Short Jokes

Short ignition jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ignition humour may include short inspiration jokes also.

  1. Every time I put my key in the ignition, a light comes on that says, "depress clutch to start." So I lean down and tell the clutch, "Everybody likes brake and accelerater better than you."
  2. How are women similar to fireworks? They're fun to watch from a distance, dangerous up close, and can be ignited by the smallest spark.
  3. Find someone to ignite the flame in you that drives you to be who you are and do what you want! Just like Trump and Kim Jong-un
  4. I Have a Wind Powered Car I have to blow into an ignition interlock device to start my car.
  5. A vape pen recently caused a fire at my office. The email telling people to keep them turned off was titled Fire ignites Policy Change They must have been Juul-bulent about that pun
  6. Don't ignite your friends from behind, even if it's just a prank. It will back fire for sure.
  7. The Germanwings plane was a lot like a small flame used as an ignition source You know, 'cause it was a pilot light

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Ignition One Liners

Which ignition one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ignition? I can suggest the ones about induction and firing.

  1. There was an ignition recall on my new car.... I guess we're off to a bad start.
  2. What key did R. Kelly write ignition remix? A flat minor
  3. Humans are like candles... they last longer if you don't ignite them.
  4. I don't know what will happen if I combine methane with oxygen and ignite it
  5. To resolve a traffic jam Just turn off your ignition.

Ignition joke, To resolve a traffic jam

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about ignition can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of ignition puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Fun Ignition Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about ignition you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean awakening jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make ignition prank.

A man runs out of petrol

A MAN was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. At that moment, a bee flew in his window.
"What seems to be the problem?'' asked the bee.
"I'm out of petrol,'' the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his petrol tank.
After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
`"Try it now,'' said the bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.
"Wow,'' the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my petrol tank?''
"BP,'' answered the bee.

Cardiologist and the Mechanic

A cardiologist's car breaks down and he goes to a mechanic to get it fixed. After everything is done, the mechanic asks the cardiologist,
"Here's what I don't understand. I fix engines, and so do you, albeit human ones, so why do you get paid ten times more than I do?"
The cardiologist then turns the ignition on and says, "try it with the engine running."

A woman was pumping her gas on an extremely hot day.

As she pulled the nozzle from her car, some splashed on her arm and a random spark ignited the gas. As her arm was burning, she called for help to have someone try to quell the flame before it grew too high. To her luck, a couple police officers walked out from inside the gas station and immediately walked over to her.
As she pleaded for help, they approached her and immediately arrested her for unlawfully waving a firearm.

Locked keys in car…

On finishing up their round of golf O'Reily and O'Connor returned back to their car only to discover the doors were locked and the keys were in the ignition.
After quite a few minutes of messing with the door handles and thinking up the best way to gain entry to the vehicle, it all of a sudden began to cloud over.
p**... says O'Connor' look at those black clouds coming in over there. You'd better put the roof up or the seats are going to get soaked .

Four students are in the car that breaks down

First student, engineering student, says "This is mechanical problem, there's nothing we can do."
Second student, chemistry student, says "You're wrong, this is clearly reason of faulty gasoline. There's nothing we can do."
Third student, electrical engineering student, says "No, there's problem with ignition. There's nothing we can do."
Last student, IT student, says "We should exit car, close the doors, come in and try again. Maybe that will solve the problem."

A mechanic, an electrician and a software developer were in a car.

The car stops working.
-It's the carburetor, says the mechanic. We just have to get down and clean it.
-It's the ignition, says the electrician. We have to check the spark plugs and we'll make it work.
-"Guys, I propose getting out of the car and getting back in and maybe it will start working."

Four students are having a problem with their car...

Four students are having a problem with their car and are forced to stop on the side of the road.
"The ignition is damaged" says the electrical engineer.
"The fuel pipe is clogged" says the chemist.
"Engines is damaged" says the engineer.
"Lets just get out of the car and get in again" says the computer scientist.

The same woman lost her car keys.

Her husband comes out and says, "What's wrong?"
She says, "I lost my keys!"
He takes off his trousers, rolls them into a ball and starts rubbing the ignition switch. Magically the vehicle starts up.
"WOW! How did you do that?"
"Honey, these are my cargo pants."

Back when I was married, I found some match sticks left by the stove, where apparently the gas burner hasn't been igniting...

...so I wrote my wife's name on one of the matches there. Later, when she saw the writing and picked it up, she looked at me and asked what it meant.
I looked her straight in the eye, and said: "It means.. .that you've finally met your match."

Ignition joke, I Have a Wind Powered Car

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these ignition jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.