The Best 58 Identity Jokes

Following is our collection of Identity jokes which are very funny. There are some identity fraud jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these identity huma puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

What did the woman with dissociative identity disorder tell her psychologist?

"Let me be Frank with you."

I did a girl missionary style

I stole her cultural identity so I could take her land

How does the pope refer to his secret superhero identity?

It's his altar ego.

Who's got two thumbs and dissociative identity disorder?

*points thumbs at chest*

That guy.

When I was growing up my parents used to tell me that I can be anyone I wanted.

Now the police call that Identity theft.


An identity thief and a rapist get convicted in a poor town...

The judge decides that the best punishment is to tie them up in a courtyard and for $5 you can punch the identity thief so he can never use his charm to con again, or for $10 you can kick the rapist in the nuts. The police officer in charge of this spots a girl kick the identity thief in the nuts and says, "Hey! You can't do that!" The girl asks, "Why not?" And the cop says, "Because this is the punchline."

What exactly is dissassociative identity disorder?

I've heard of it but don't know what it means?

A Bank Robber Forgot His Mask

A bank robber wanted to keep his identity a secret, but he forgot to bring his mask. He told everyone in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them.

One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the bank robber did what he said he would... he shot him. The robber asked the crowd if anyone else had seen his face...

One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse."

Growing up my mom told me...

I could be anybody I wanted to. Turns out this is called identity theft.

So did you hear about the leprechaun that got arrested for identity theft?

Police are calling it a misgnomer

A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar.

The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.

Top Identity Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore identity transgenders reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean identity societies dad jokes. There are also identity puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a cat who steals someone's identity?

An impawster.

The two Propositional Logic professors at a local university are named Professor P and Professor Q.

Police question Professor P about the identity of a criminal who has committed a series of heinous acts. P implies Q.

My friend told me that he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

I bought him a snickers

What do you call it when someone hacks your bank account, and performs a transaction that leaves you with exactly as much money as you had before?

Identity theft!

A math joke. Credit goes to Ben.

I've suffered from identity crisis since I was a little boy.

I mean girl.

Did you hear about the Bourne identity movie?

Matt Damon returns in ..........Still Bourne

Cat with mental disorder

The psychiatrist just diagnosed my cat for having dissociative identity disorder.

She now have 45 lives.

Did You Hear about the Gender Identity Problems among Robots?

Yeah. They all have trans-sisters...


What do you call a Swedish spy film?

The Bjorn Identity.

Who has two thumbs and a concealed identity?

Disguise!

I called an old friend and asked how he's been.

He said "living the dream." I told him, hey good to hear.
Turned out he just has dissociative identity disorder.

Shout-out to everyone who is struggling with establishing their identity.

You know who you are.

That's baaad

A sheep goes to see a doctor.

"How are ewe doing today," he asks.

"I'm a little horse," she says.

"Ma'am," says the doctor, "I'm afraid you have a dissociative identity disorder."

Someone stole my identity

I hope they can do a better job with it.

How does the lead singer of Nickelback prove his identity?

"Look at this photograph"

A man has been keeping his real identity secret from his wife.

"Honey, I need to tell you something."

"What is it Frank? You can tell me anything."

"I've been keeping my real identity a secret from you."

"I can't believe this. You've been lying to me all this time. ...I'm disappointed."

"Hi disappointed, I'm Bruce."

What's pink and goes "moo"?

A pig with an identity crisis.

I encountered an eagle with an identity crisis...

He's watching me like a hawk.

I'm building an app to help people fall asleep at night. It'll be recordings of straight white men talking about gender identity, cultural appropriation and modern racism...

Name of the app is White Noise.

What do you call a nine sided shape that won't reveal its identity?

Anonogon.

What is Superchicken's secret identity?

Cluck Kent

^(My eight year old told me he made that up.)

How do you reveal Supermans identity?

You Kent

e^(i*pi) + 1 = 0

I'm having an identity crisis.

What do you call spaghetti that steals someones identity?

An impasta

I lost my wallet and my identity was stolen.

On the bright side, I got it back in the mail with a note.



It said "It sucks to be you."

My dad said that I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Now I am wanted by the cops for identity theft.

What kind of politics do mathematicians hate?

Identity politics. Nothing ever gets done.

DareDevil's costume is amazing at keeping his identity a secret

No one will ever see through his disguise, not even him.

What do you call a baker who has no identity?

John Dough

When you see someone your recognize, but can't remember their name, you probably should not walk up and lick them...

...of course, if you do, then their identity will be on the tip of your tongue.

My wife appears to have had her identity stolen.

Some woman at the mall just parked really badly and had a go at me like it was my fault.

What was the true identity of the Greek Spider-Man?

Pita Parker

I told my patient that you have a Dissociative identity disorder.

He replied, "I have been waiting here for 10 minutes. Can I have my latte please?"

Did you hear that the guy that wrote Danger Zone had his identity stolen online?

They got all his Kenny logins

As I regained consciousness in the hospital from last night's car crash

the doctors were trying to convince me I'm actually a Swedish guy who has forgotten his identity... But I wasn't Bjorn yesterday.

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

I am.

I am who?

You tell me!!

Electromagnetism conference

I used my friend Michael's identity to enter an electromagnetism conference.

I was Michael for a day.

PS: my first oc joke, please be kind.

Mistaken Identity

A Japanese man in a monastery atop a sacred mountain asks the wise man: - "Master Ayumu, why do all Westerners think that Japanese people look alike?" - "I am not Master Ayumu."

Whenever I struggle with my identity, I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror.

I find it's the best place for self reflection.

Want to know how to avoid identity theft?

Have a 350 credit score

What do you call the identity of a person who secretly is a priest?

It's an altar ego.

Organ donation study reaches same conclusions as earlier study on GMO's

Studies have shown a strong correlation between the sexual identity of patients and whether they're able to accept various different donor organs. In particular, the bodies of aggressively heterosexual patients tend to reject donor organs.

As with studies earlier this year on genetically modified crops, researchers concluded from this data that straight men don't like trans plants.

I thought I saw Liam Neeson on the street but it turned out it was just some girl....

It was a case of Miss Taken identity.

Therapist: So what brings you two in today?

Therapist: I think I have dissociative identity disorder.

Therapist: Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about.

Today I gave a homeless man everything I had, my identity, wallet, car, house, even my wedding ring. We basically switched places.

You can't imagine how good it felt to be free of debt for the first time.

As a young boy, my mother told me I could be anyone I want to be...

Turns out this is called identity theft.

I've worked with that dude for six weeks, but saw him with his mask off and thought he was a stranger!

It was a simple case of mask-staken identity.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the identity scarface jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working identity passport piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes