Identity Jokes

Funniest Identity Short Jokes

Short identity jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The identity humour may include short identification jokes also.

1. When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
2. My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I got her an identical one. She was livid, "what am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
3. Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet. Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
4. My girlfriend's dog died so I got her an identical one She got even more upset and shouted at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
5. I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins. It was impossible to differentiate between them.
6. • My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was furious, she said *"what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"*
7. My girlfriend's dog died so I got her an identical one to try and cheer her up. But it made her even more upset.
   She screamed at me saying, What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?
8. What did the woman with dissociative identity disorder tell her psychologist? "Let me be Frank with you."
9. Shout-out to everyone who is struggling with establishing their identity. You know who you are.
10. There is a good chance you'll fail your calculus exam if you are sitting between identical twins. Because it's hard to differentiate between them.

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Identity One Liners

Which identity one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with identity? I can suggest the ones about identify and profile.

1. There's no 'I' in 'team,' But there are six in 'Dissociative Identity Disorder.'
2. I just found out my wife has an identical twin I saw her on Tinder.
3. What do you call a nine sided shape that won't reveal its identity? Anonogon.
4. What do you call Michael Bublé's identical twin brother? Michael Dublé! :D
5. Did you hear about the blonde identical twins? They couldn't tell each other apart.
6. What do you call a Swedish spy film? The Bjorn Identity.
7. How does the pope refer to his secret superhero identity? It's his altar ego.
8. I've suffered from identity crisis since I was a little boy. I mean girl.
9. What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical? plague-arism
10. How do you end a prayer to the noodle God? Ramen.
11. What do you call a cat who steals someone's identity? An impawster.
12. How does the lead singer of Nickelback prove his identity? "Look at this photograph"
13. Someone stole my identity I hope they can do a better job with it.
14. You are what you eat Cannibal defends himself against identity theft charges
15. What do identical stars do? Twin-kle

Identity Theft Jokes

Here is a list of funny identity theft jokes and even better identity theft puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Growing up my mom told me... I could be anybody I wanted to. Turns out this is called identity theft.
• When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. ​
  Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
• When I was growing up my parents used to tell me that I can be anyone I wanted. Now the police call that Identity theft.
• As a kid my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. As it turns out identity theft is a crime
• I am very upset with my mom. When I was growing up she told me, "You can be whoever you want to be." That's not true. Turns out Identity Theft is a crime!
• As a young boy, my mother told me I could be anyone I want to be... Turns out this is called identity theft.
• My dad said that I could be anyone I wanted to be. Now I am wanted by the cops for identity theft.
• "You can be whoever you want to be!" Instructions unclear. Currently serving time for identity theft.
• Did you hear about the person who had no pronouns? They were a victim of gender identity theft.
• What do you call it when someone hacks your bank account, and performs a transaction that leaves you with exactly as much money as you had before? Identity theft!
  A math joke. Credit goes to Ben.

Identity Disorder Jokes

Here is a list of funny identity disorder jokes and even better identity disorder puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Who's got two thumbs and dissociative identity disorder? *points thumbs at chest*
  That guy.
• Cat with mental disorder The psychiatrist just diagnosed my cat for having dissociative identity disorder.
  She now have 45 lives.
• What exactly is dissassociative identity disorder? I've heard of it but don't know what it means?
• A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar. The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.
• Therapist: So what brings you two in today? Therapist: I think I have dissociative identity disorder.
  Therapist: Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about.
• My friend told me that he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I bought him a snickers
• That's baaad A sheep goes to see a doctor.
  "How are ewe doing today," he asks.
  "I'm a little horse," she says.
  "Ma'am," says the doctor, "I'm afraid you have a dissociative identity disorder."
• I called an old friend and asked how he's been. He said "living the dream." I told him, hey good to hear.
  Turned out he just has dissociative identity disorder.
• I told my patient that you have a Dissociative identity disorder. He replied, "I have been waiting here for 10 minutes. Can I have my latte please?"
• My doctor said I have dissociative identity disorder I don't think he knows who he's talking about.

Dissociative Identity Disorder Jokes

Here is a list of funny dissociative identity disorder jokes and even better dissociative identity disorder puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What does a man with dissociative identity disorder say after s**...? And? Who was I?

Identity Crisis Jokes

Here is a list of funny identity crisis jokes and even better identity crisis puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• e^(i*pi) + 1 = 0 I'm having an identity crisis.
• What's pink and goes "moo"? A pig with an identity crisis.
• I encountered an eagle with an identity crisis... He's watching me like a hawk.
• My Chinese coworker is going through a bit of an identity crisis. He keeps telling me he's Lee Ving.
• Why was the matrix sad? Because she was having an identity crisis.
• How do you give an ice cube an identity crisis? Drop it like its hot.
• Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was having an identity crisis.
• He's having an identity crisis again. No I'm not.
• What do you call a crisis where you're the same before and after? An identity crisis!
• Stan Lee wrote Tony Stark as a character with a s**... identity crisis. He's all man, but likes to dress as FEmale

Hilarious Identity Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about identity you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean privacy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make identity pranks.