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Identify Jokes

98 identify jokes and hilarious identify puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about identify that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Identify Short Jokes

Short identify jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The identify humour may include short identification jokes also.

  1. I was born male and I identify as male, yet... ... according to Tesco's Finest Sticky Toffee Pudding, I'm a family of four!
  2. I now identify as invisible Although I was born visible, I am now trans-parent. My pronouns are who/where
  3. I don't care if Caitlin Jenner identifies as a woman, but April identifying as January is crossing the line.
  4. My dad came out to me today and told me he now identifies as a woman He just wanted to be transparent with me
  5. I was born male, I identify as male, but according to Sainsbury's Deluxe Sticky Toffee Pudding.... I'm a family of four.
  6. I really identify with the trans movement... For the first 9 months of my life, I was a man trapped in a woman's body!
  7. Spotting Idiots Online I wish there was some way to identify idiots online.
    Sent from my iPhone
  8. A police officer pulled me over and said "Sir, please identify yourself" So I took out a mirror and replied "yeah, it's me"
  9. I just found out that Archeologist were recently digging in the pyramid of Egypt and found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts. Experts on site identified the mummy as Pharaoh Roche.
  10. My Mother informed me today that she now identifies as my father. I thanked her for being transparent.

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Identify One Liners

Which identify one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with identify? I can suggest the ones about identity and detect.

  1. My son identifies as a crescent moon. I'm worried, but my wife says it's just a phase.
  2. Bud light has always been trans... It's water that identifies as beer.
  3. I am an obese man identifying as a skinny man... I am trans-fat.
  4. I identify as Schrodinger's cat My pronouns are is/isn't.
  5. What do you call a skinny person that identifies as obese? A trans fat
  6. I identify as an elongated fish. People say I'm mentally eel.
  7. How can you identify a good farmer? He's out standing in his field.
  8. I personally identify as one cycle per second. Because everything hertz.
  9. I identify as a chocolate bar My pronouns are her/shey
  10. My friend Susan identifies as a man and changed his name yesterday. Susan be Anthony.
  11. Why do introverts identify so much with Thor's brother? Because he's low-key.
  12. What do you mean I can't identify as a television? Just watch me!
  13. How do you identify a blind man in a nudist beach? It ain't hard.
  14. What do you call a tomato that self-identifies as a carrot? A transplant.
  15. I identify as an ambulance My pronouns are wee/woo

Identify joke, I identify as an ambulance

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about identify can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of identify puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical & Quirky Identify Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about identify you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean recognize jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make identify prank.

If I'm fat but identify as slim

Does that mean I am trans slender?

Tatoos of Elvis

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.
The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"
The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".
The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.
The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."
The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"
The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely w**... Nelson."

How many members of an identifiable group does it take to perform a common task?

A certain number! One to actually perform the task, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group.

A Million Dollars

A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to GOD.
"GOD", he said, "How long is a million years?"
GOD answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "GOD, how much is a million dollars?"
GOD answered, "To Me, it's a dime."
The man then asked, "GOD, can I have a dime?"
GOD said, "In a minute."

How can you identify a French Infantryman?

Sunburned armpits.

Scientists have identified the number 1 cause of p**....

s**... children.

How Can You Identify a Bald Eagle?

All his feathers are combed to one side

I recently met up with an old girlfriend of mine and we immediately started having s**......

...The police got annoyed, however - they only wanted me to identify the body.

I s**... identify as a brick.

I'm always hard and I've only been laid once.

I identify as counter strike,

and I find this globally offensive.

I s**... identify as Counter Strike...

*And I'm globally offended*

I s**... identify as a Canadian...

I'm eh-s**....

I was walking through a graveyard in Europe...

When I heard some strange music coming from one of the graves. Turns out, it was coming from Beethoven's grave. I took out my phone and recorded it, then took it to a friend of mine to identify.
"This is really strange...", he said. "This sounds like one of Beethoven's Symphonies, but it's backwards."
"Well, that makes sense", I said. "He's decomposing."

I s**... identify as an invisible dad.

I'm trans-parent.

Bisexual Son

Me: Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.
Dad: And that means you would have a male partner.
Me: Yep.
Dad: Or a female partner.
Me: Yep.
Dad: And that means you're bi.
Me: Yep.
Dad: So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?

The driver & Police

Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?"

Driver pulls out his mirror and says: "Yes, it's me."

Tried to explain my sexuality to my dad..

Me: Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.
Dad: And that means you would have a male partner.
Me: Yep
Dad: or a female partner.
Me: Yep
Dad: And that means you're bi.
Me: Yep
Dad: So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: Did you just...

s**... Statistics on a Plane.

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be
seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They
exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about s**... statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,
"This is a very interesting book about s**... statistics.
It identifies that American Indians have the longest
average p**... and Polish men have the biggest average
diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

I s**... identify as a measurement of speed

Cuz I'm a loner and wanna km/s

I identify as a tri-s**......

I try to have s**..., but I fail.

I identify as a ferrari

Because I like to have two people inside of me.

Mickey called the police because someone had written "Mickey s**..." in u**... in the snow in front of Mickey's house.

The officer told Mickey,
"I've got some good news and I have some bad news."
"What's the good news?" Mickey asked.
"The good news is that we were able to identify whose u**... it was. It was Goofy's."
"How could the bad news be worse than that?"
"It was Minnie's handwriting."

What do PC Master Race people identify as politically?

The Alt-Tab.

If only there was an easily recognizable way to identify an idiot

-Sent from my iPhone

In ww2 you could identify which nationality your opponent was from by observing their behaviors

If they respond to threats with precise rifle shots, they're British
If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German
If they retreat, they're French
If they switch to your side, they're Italian
If they apologize, they're Canadian
If nothing happens for a few minutes then suddenly your camp is leveled to the ground, they're American

Even though I'm pretty skinny, I identify as an obese person...

I'm trans fat.

When interacting with police follow their instructions carefully

Me: [hears knock on door] "Who is it?"
Trooper: "State Police identify yourself."
Me: "Police identify yourself"
Trooper: "State Police"
Me: "Police"

Why are r**... m**... victims so hard to identify?

There are no dental records...

How does NASA identify dead planets?

They look through the orbituaries.

I s**... identify as a microwave dinner

I'm done in five minutes and look nothing like the picture

What does a gender-ambiguous robot identify as?

Non\-binary.

Best way to learn about your problems is

Identify 1 mistake in your wife and ask her to correct it.
In response she will help you identify ALL of your problems, your parents problems, all of your relatives and your friends problems.

Doctor: Sir....

Patient: It's MA'AM. I identify as a female
Doctor: Okay Ma'am. You have testicular cancer.

A few electrons are having a party

When suddenly, an uninvited proton enters, and since opposites attract, all the electrons get stuck to him. Unable to pull themselves away from the gatecrasher, they scream for help. A mystery stranger hears their cries, jumps in, pulls all the electrons off and throws the proton out of the premises. The grateful electrons ask their saviour to identify himself. Mysteriously, he pulls down his hat and answers:
"Bond. Covalent Bond."

What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

One's weasily identifiable, the other one's stoatally different.

if I were Sarah Connor

I would simply defeat the robots by asking them to identify which of the following pictures has a pedestrian crossing in it

A woman was walking along the street when she got plowed into by a vehicle and killed...

The police had a tough time identifying her, but they were able to get a picture from the DMV.
They walked up to her house and rang the doorbell.
"Sir, do you know this woman?"
"Yes it's my wife"
(Deep sigh) "Sir, I'm not really sure how to break this to you... but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck."
The man replied, "Yeah, I know... but she's a wonderful cook!"

I s**... identify as Michael Jackson

My personal pronouns are he/hee

I identify as Michael Jackson

My pronouns are he/hee

Trump Supporters are demanding to join the LGBTQ+ community.

They say they identify as Non-Bidenary

I'm fat but I self identify as thin.

I'm trans slender

I s**... identify as chocolate

My pronouns are Her-She

I s**... identify as a microwave dinner....

You can have me in 5 minutes and I look nothing like the picture.

After some pressure from his family a man who is hard of hearing visits his doctor.

After a lengthy examination, the doctor identifies the problem and prescribes the solution. He takes it and the doctor tells him to come back in a week to check that everything is A-OK.
A week later he revisits. The doc announces, "You're hearing is perfect. Your family must be delighted."
He replies. "Oh, I haven't told them yet, I just sit around the house listening to them. So far I've changed my will three times."

What did Shakespeare say when he couldn't identify the pencil?

2B or not 2B

My brother was murdered today

cop: do you mind identifying the body \[puts hand on my shoulder\] I have to warn you the body was hacked up.
me: \[tearing up\] yes that's my brother Reese.
cop: you're sure?
me: \[nodding\] those are Reese's Pieces.

A tortoise is crossing the road when he is robbed by two snails.

When the police show up, they ask the tortoise if he can identify the culprits.
The tortoise, still shaking from the incident, cries 'It all happened so fast!'.

I have begun identifying as a Michael Jackson impersonator

My pronouns are now hee/hee

I identify as a donkey

Hee/Haw

I found an old coin for my collection but can't identify it...

...seriously! I can't make heads, or tails of it!

Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians

Sometimes Ukrainian saboteurs try to pass off as Russian troops. The easiest way to identify them is to remove their pants and examine their genitalia. All Ukrainians have b**... of steel. Even women.

i s**... identify as a donkey

my pronouns are he/haw

My 13 year old daughter just told me she identifies as Michael Jackson

And her pronouns are hee hee

What do you call someone who identifies disease by reading about symptoms on Google?

Google Doc

Even though I was born visible...

I identify as trans-parent. My pronouns are who/where.

How does a network analyist identify them self at work?

LANyard

How do you identify a dogwood tree?

By its bark.

A joke about pronouns

I prefer to be called "thee/thou" because I identify as a Shakespearean cuckold

Identify joke, A joke about pronouns

jokes about identify

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these identify jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.