Identification Jokes
16 identification jokes and hilarious identification puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about identification that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Identification Short Jokes
Short identification jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The identification humour may include short identify jokes also.
- From my handwriting identification skills. I have carefully deduced that Santa is my secret Valentine every year.
- London attacker has been identifed as Khalid Masood. Well, he definitely Khalid Ma-mood yesterday.
- A retired policeman decides to get into aquatic mammal identification. Whale whale whale, what do we have here then?
- Not sure how the iPhone X f**... identification would work for my ex-girlfriend Because she's so two-faced
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Identification One Liners
Which identification one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with identification? I can suggest the ones about finding and recognition.
- What do you call an Apple product's identification code? A 'sirial' number.
- I borrowed my dad's identification... ... It was a terrible ID.
- Why did the DJ have such small hands? Wee paws for station identification.
Hilarious Fun Identification Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about identification you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean detect jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make identification pranks.
A blond cop pulls over a blond and asks for identification.
The blond asks, What's that?
The blond cop replies, It's the thing in your purse with your picture on it.
The blond reaches into her purse, pulls out her compact mirror, and hands it over.
The blond cop opens it, takes a look, and says, I'm sorry mam. If I knew you were an officer, I wouldn't have pulled you over.
A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist...
A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."
Criminal suspect identification.
Police detective: 'What can you remember about your mugger?'
Victim: 'He was slim built, with dark hair and wore a cap.'
Police detective: 'Anything else you remember?'
Victim: 'He had a moustache, about 6 foot 2.'
Police detective: That's one h**... of a moustache
Bob gets a job at a Japanese restaurant...
In the kitchen he notices all the pots, pans, plates, etc have names stamped on them. His boss says it's for easy identification.
One day the cook asks him to go get a wok. So Bob goes into the back and grabs the first thing he can find that resembles a wok with the name "Peter" in bold letters on the side and brings it to the cook.
The cook looks at it and shakes he head.
"Peter pan! He no wok, he fry!"
A Russian student goes to Ukraine to visit his girlfriend
and is stopped at the border and asked for identification. The guard looks carefully at his paperwork and asks tersely, 'Name?' 'Vlad', he replies. 'Occupation?', the officer inquires. 'Nyet, just here on vacation.'
Two Ditzy blondes...
A ditzy blonde is driving 80 mph down the highway, 20 miles over the speed limit. A ditzy blonde police officer pulls her over. The police officer asks to see her license, but the ditzy blonde driver has no idea what a license is. The officer tells her it is an identification card with her picture on it. The driver rummages in her purse and pulls out her makeup mirror, opens it up, sees herself in the mirror, and hands it to the police officer.
The police officer looks at the mirror and says, "Oh! You should have told me you were a police officer as well!"
