The Best 48 Identical Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Identical jokes. There are some identical succubus jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these identical owners puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Identical Jokes and Puns

I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.

I couldn't differentiate between them.

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I got her an identical one.

She was livid, "what am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

Mary and Sue are discussing good-looking boys in their high school.

Mary asks "Have you seen that new Mexican kid Amal Garcia?"

"Garcia?" Sue responds. "No, but I think I've seen his brother Juan"

Mary replies "They're identical twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

Identical joke, Mary and Sue are discussing good-looking boys in their high school.

Twins

Yesterday, I was hanging out with my girlfriend when her identical twin sister walked by. Then my girlfriend asked me, "Do you think my sister is pretty?"

A scientist couple had identical twins...

They named one Peter and the other one Control Group.


What do you call Michael Bublé's identical twin brother?

Michael Dublé! :D

What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical?

plague-arism

Identical joke, What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical?

• My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog.

She was furious, she said *"what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"*

Hey, did you hear about the Mexican-Indian twins that just moved in next door?

They're identical too! Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.

My little sister's cat died...

...she cried telling me she needs another identical one. I got her one today, but i don't know why she needs another dead cat.

What do you call 2 people with identical penises?

Doppelwangers

You can explore identical twin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean identical equal dad jokes. There are also identical puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you hear about the blonde identical twins?

They couldn't tell each other apart.

Finnish reindeer

An American tourist arrived at a reindeer farm in Finnish Lapland. He asked the farm owner "I've heard that the reindeer and human vaginas are identical. Is this true?" The farm owner looked at the tourist for a while and answered: "You have to ask my neighbor. He is the only man in the village who has had sex with a woman."

Did you hear about the identical twins who robbed a bank?

After they were caught, they finished each other's sentences.

Know what's the best part about my supervisor having an identical twin?

I get to watch him die twice.

My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend.

But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other's sentences.

Identical joke, My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend.

What do identical stars do?

Twin-kle

You're meeting identical triplets tonight. One's from the Army, one's a lifestyle Vegan, and one is a diehard Trump supporter. How do you tell them apart?

Don't worry. They'll tell you.

The Lawyer and the Mexican

A lawyer and a Mexican live next to eachother in the most cookie-cutter neighborhood you can imagine.
One day, they're both mowing the frontlawn. The Mexican says:

"You know, my house is worth more than yours."

The lawyer is confused. He responds:

"How? Our houses are identical. Did you renovate the interior?"

"No."

"Did you modernize the kitchen or the bathroom?"

"I didn't."

"Then how can your house be worth more than mine?!", the lawyer cries.

"Well, I live next to a lawyer, and you live next to a Mexican."


My girlfriends dog died the other day so I went and bought her an identical one.

Apparently she wasn't too impressed with having two dead dogs.

I just found out my wife has an identical twin

I saw her on Tinder.

Two house fires break out at noon on a Wednesday and destroys two families' homes. One family lives in a capitalist country and the other lives in a socialist country. Though the fires were nearly identical, only the family living in the socialist country dies in the fire...

Because in the capitalist country, the parents had jobs and the kids were in school.

My wife's identical twin sister is living with us till she finds a job

I said to my friend

He asked do you know how to tell them apart ?

I remarked why should I ?

If identical siblings are both interested in something,

Do they have twin piques?

I've always had to live in the shadow of my identical twin.

He may have got the brains, but I like to think I got the looks

My Partner's Dog died this morning

To cheer her up, I went out to get her an identical one.

She was fuming, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?!"

Having identical triplets is like....

Having one kid with multiple personalities.

My girlfriends dog died..

I went out and bought her an identical dog.
She asked me what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?

My girlfriends dog died, so to cheer her up, I bought her an identical one

She was livid. She said "this stupid jokes gets reposted almost everyday"

Did you hear about the two identical bikes separated at birth?

They were long lost schwinns.

A first place winner at the International Pun Contest

A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

My sister's dog died.

I got her an identical dog to help her.

She was shocked, she said, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs!"

There is a good chance you'll fail your calculus exam if you are sitting between identical twins.

Because it's hard to differentiate between them.

What do you call Identical Twin Brothers who choose a life of crime?

Cell Mates

Some people are like parallel lines

Identical personalities but will never meet

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

It just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

Did you hear about the identical twin police officers?

They were copies.

My sister when through a phase where she spontaneously split down the middle making two identical copies. Now they are...

My one Sis and Mitosis.

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She was livid.   What am I going to do with two dead dogs?

I tried to make a joke about identical frequencies and wave forms.

But it really separated the room.

I was expecting more coherence.

I found out today that I have an identical twin brother. I got very emotional when we finally met.

I was beside myself.

The twins

A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give them up
for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later,
Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of
Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've
seen Ahmal."

Did you know Juan the horse has a brother named jamal?

Nothing really special, they're identical twins.

If you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal

Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

If you want to pass your calculus exam, don't sit in between two identical twins.

It's very hard to differentiate between them.

What do you call two identical police officers?

Copies!

My girlfriend came up with this so credit to her.

What do you call identical boobs

Identitties

My girlfriend's dog died so I got her an identical one

She got even more upset and shouted at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the identical unrelated jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working identical aunts piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes