Ideal Jokes
60 ideal jokes and hilarious ideal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ideal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find the perfect joke with the easiest explanation of the ideal gas law! Our fun roundup of jokes from eHarmony will help you laugh your way to an ideal joke!
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Funniest Ideal Short Jokes
Short ideal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ideal humour may include short perfect jokes also.
- Ladies, you can tell a lot about a man by how dogs react to him. For example, if a police K9 is bitting him, he may not be ideal.
- What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common? Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.
- Yo mama is so classless... Yo mama is so classless that Marx thinks she's an ideal society.
- TIL There's a brief quiz that can predict your favorite wine. Take the quiz to see your ideal wine match. 1) What is your favorite wine?
- Trouble reading white names have a hard time reading white names.
Ideally, you should write names in black or another darker color, white just blends into the paper. - No matter how hard I try, I always seem to be going round in circles. Having a broken arm while in a wheelchair isn't ideal.
- A dude went to the hospital and asked the doc: Dude: judging by my weight, what's my ideal height doc?
Doc: 20 feet. - Is it easy to get a job at a restaurant? I don't have a lot of work experience, so ideally I'd be looking for an entree-level position.
- Courtesy of The Legendary Ken M; The ideal superpower is invisibility... Because it allows you to keep an unseen lookout for perverts in the women's locker room.
- I realized today I reached my ideal weight years ago....... I just haven't reached my ideal height of 7'6" yet.
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Ideal One Liners
Which ideal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ideal? I can suggest the ones about exact and ultimate.
- Who gets communist jokes? Everyone ideally
- How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Ideally three but toucan.
- What is the ideal political system of a feminist? A dickhatership.
- Dark Humour is like a child with cancer They aren't needed in an ideal society.
- In a videogame movie, what do you call your ideal set of actors? Your dreamcast
- What is the ideal weight for an ex-wife? About 3 pounds including the urn.
- If I got a penny every time a woman said I wasn't her ideal man, I'd be her ideal man.
- My Ideal Woman is a Single Mother ...once I've finished with her.
- What is the ideal weight of your mother in law? 6 kilograms urn included.
- Ideal dream: make love not money Reality: No money, no honey.
- The ideal quote to have on your tombstone during these hard times. " bUT thE eCOnoMy"
- What is the Ideal Social Media for Friends who Disagree on Everything ? Discord
- My ideal bathroom would be haunted... ...that way I could easily be scared shitless!
- What is the ideal marriage? One between a deaf man and a blind woman !!!!!!!!!
- What's the ideal blood type for a motivational speaker? Be positive.
Ideal Gas Law Jokes
Here is a list of funny ideal gas law jokes and even better ideal gas law puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law? Only a Sith deals in absolutes
- Some say that the Mongols created the first iteration of the Ideal Gas Law. After all, they were pneumatic experts.
- I heard about the ideal gas law in physics class PV=nRT… and I heard non-ideal gas law in a crowded elevator PU=f**...
Entertaining Ideal Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about ideal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean proper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ideal pranks.
While creating husbands, God promised....
While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world...............then He made the earth round, and laughed and laughed and laughed.
I was looking for a new apartment...
and found a nice place in the center of town that seemed ideal.
"It's only $650 a month," the women told me. "But no children or pets."
I had to turn it down. It was a bargain but I wasn't willing to give up my s**... life.
What is the ideal wait for a lawyer?
About 3 pounds, including the urn.
What's a woman ideal husband?
An archaeologist. The older she gets the more interested he becomes.
Plato walks into a bar.
And he realises that the bar is not a real bar. In fact, it contains the concept of 'a bar'.
Then, with an amazed face, he says:
"This bar is ideal!"
Being 110kg s**......
that feel when you won't be hurled at least 300m by the ideal medieval siege engine
If there was a mathematical equation to describe social justice warriors...
It would be a really nice log.
An ideal log.
Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing;
a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.
Goethe
I like to work out every other day.
Every day but not today is the my ideal exercise plan.
Why did nobody find out about the ideal group of crows ?
Because it was the perfect m**....
A man writing in his diary:
I am an ideal man. I don't smoke, drink, or go to night clubs. I have always been loyal to my wife and don't flirt with strange women. I sleep at eight o'clock and wake up early. I exercise daily and work regular hours. But all this will change as soon as I get out of prison.
Why did the idealist go to jail?
He had convictions.
Did you hear about the inventor who ripped off someone else's ideal for a blimp?
It's shame, he should have made an original dirigible.
I thought my grandfather had died in the most ideal way: in Hawaii, watching the sunset, drinking a beer on a hammock
But it turns out being strangled to death isn't fun.
A woman on Tinder asked me what my ideal date would be.
I said dd/mm/yyyy because other formats are confusing.
My sole source of income is working as a fruit ninja
It's not ideal, but I half to eat.
Motorbikes are ideal transportation for people that don't intend to have children.
They wouldn't even let me bring our newborn home from the hospital.
What do you call a p**... who maintains the ideal number of prostitutes per customer?
Horatio
I went out on a date recently with my ideal woman. Highly educated, funny, compassionate, beautiful. When she told me she was a gynecologist, I knew she was the one for me
...she really checked a lot of boxes.
A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go hunting...
The three see a buck a little distance away.
The physicist makes a quick, back-of-the-envelope calculation, assuming an ideal bullet and neglecting wind resistance, and then fires. The bullet lands 10 meters in front of the buck.
The engineer has been doing his own calculations, adding in wind resistance and adding a fudge factor to include wind variations, Coriolis forces, and other, unknown variables. He fires, and the round lands 10 meters behind the buck.
The statistician jumps up and yells, "We got him!"
