Icy Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Icy puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Icy

I've often heard that "icy" is the easiest word to spell

Looking at it now, I see why

What does titanic and the sixth sense have in common?

Icy dead people

What connects The Sixth Sense and Titanic?

Icy dead people.

What do you get when you combine Titantic with the Sixth Sense?

Icy dead people.

What's the similarity between 6th Sense and Titanic?

Icy dead people.

The Sixth Sense and Titanic are the same movie.

Icy dead people.

What do you get if you cross Titanic with Sixth Sense?

Icy dead people

Regular Russia, not the Soviet one

Ivan and Igor are standing at a bus stop in Russia. It is freezing cold and raining hard. A limo drives by and splashes icy water all over them. Ivan says to Igor, This is a terrible place to live, I want to go to America. Igor responses, Why do think America would be any better. Ivan stares at Igor in disbelief, Do you know what would happen in America? If a limo drove by and splashed you, the rich man would pull over, apologize, help you into the car, take you to his home, make you nice drink, feed you dinner, let you sleep in his warm bed, and then, the next morning, he would drop you off where ever you wanted to go. Igor says, Really? This happened to you?! Ivan, No, my wife.

What do you tell a metal head who's walking on an icy street?

Slip not.

They say "icy" is one of the easiest words to spell;

i c y

I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps.

All I got were Icy Stares.

Once saw a bunch of Nazis saluting in icy precipitation.

It was quite the heil storm.

What did the kid who could see dead eskimos say?

Icy dead people!

Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering...

Yes, I forgot our anniversary again.

Today I woke up early

I quietly put on my clothes, made coffee. I took my golf clubs and went slowly into the garage. I put the clubs in the car and pulled the car out of the garage under torrential rain.

The road was totally flooded and the icy wind blew at 50 km per hour. I went back to the garage, turned on the radio, and heard that the weather would have lasted all day.

So I went back home, took off my clothes and quietly slipped back to bed. Slowly I approached my wife and, holding her, I whispered in her ear: "the weather outside is horrible!"

Half asleep she replied: "Yes I know …Can you believe my dumb husband went out to play golf!"

What did Haley Joel Osment find at the top of Mt. Everest?

Icy Dead People

The Pig.

A man was walking in the country and saw a pig with a wooden leg sitting outside a barn. As he was pondering this, the pig's owner came along. The man asked the farmer how the pig got his wooden leg.

The farmer said, "Let me tell you, that is some pig! Our house caught fire last May, and he dragged my kids to safety!"

"Is that how he lost his leg?" the man asked.

"No," replied the farmer. "But a month ago, I almost drowned and that pig swam through icy water to pull me to shore!"

"So that's how he lost his leg," the man asked.

"Oh, no. And just a week ago, my wife's car slid off the road onto the train tracks. That pig broke through the window and helped her out just as a freight train came through!"
"So THAT'S how he lost his leg!" the man said.

"No, sir." "Then HOW did he lose it?" the man begged.

"Well sir," the farmer replied, "when you got a pig that terrific, you don't want to eat it all at once."

What do The Sixth Sense and Mount Everest have in common?

Icy dead people!

I got an icy handjob from Elsa last week

But three seconds in I was screaming Let it go! Let it go!!

What do James Cameron and M. Night Shamylan have in common?

Icy dead people.

What do you call zombies in Antarctica

Icy dead people.

Russian proverb: the church is near, but the road is icy...

The pub is far away, but I'll walk carefully.

I told my wife I wanted her to spread my ashes for traction when the back porch gets icy

That way she can put me to work and step on me one last time.

Snowman puns to celebrate the snowstorm in my area

What do vampires get when they bite snowmen?
"Frostbite"

What is a snowman's favorite cereal?
"Snowflakes"

Why didn't the snowman answer the question?
"He didn't snow the answer"

What does a snowman like to ride?
"An icicle"

How can you tell a snowman is angry at you?
"You get the cold shoulder... or an icy stare"

A blind man walks into a freezer...

"I was blind, but now icy."

An Englishman And An Irishman

*Chances are this has been posted before, but as an Irishman with English roots I've always found it hilarious. Enjoy! :D*

An Englishman and an Irishman in two separate cars were driving down a lonely country road on a cold, misty night at 100 kilometers per hour. Neither men were being particularly careful, given the icy conditions, and the result was a terrible crash in which both cars were almost completely destroyed.

Miraculously however, both men survived.

The Irishman was the first to react:

'Jesus, Mary and Joseph, we're alive! It's a sign from God I think, that we should put aside the distrust between our two countrys and become best friends!'

'I agree!' Came the Englishman's ebullient response, who then pulled a small flask of whiskey from his pocket. 'Let's celebrate our new-found friendship with a drink!'

The Irishman took the proffered flask and downed half of it, before offering it back to the Englishman.

'No thanks,' Came his companion's reply. 'I think I'll wait till the police show up.'.

People often complain about the way I drive on icy roads

They're all like, "Why don't you golf somewhere else?"

The doctors think Icy Hot turned me into a homosexual

Jokes on them because I've Bengay

What do you call it when you use Icy Hot as lube?

Fire in the hole!

A man doesn't know how to turn on his freezer

He goes to his friend for help. Happy to help, his friend explains what to do.
His friend asks "do you need me to explain it anymore?"
The man says "No thanks, icy now".

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue? [OC]

Icy dead people!

What did yoda tell the snowman when he found out he had tunnel vision?

All icy is you!

I legit thought of this joke when i was like 10 and im so proud i remembered it.

I don't like it when snow melts

Icy it as snow unsettling.

(OC)

What does Haley Joel Osment call white walkers from Game of Thrones?

Icy dead people

I remember how my uncle died..

Driving an 18 wheeler rig down a long, icy road in the pitch black with no working headlights. He swerved and suddenly BAM!

Cancer.

What did yoda tell the snowman when he found out he had tunnelvision? (OC... you can probably tell)

All ICY is you!

hey im on a icy diet!

icy food i eat it

Whats the difference between a shark and a bannister?

One keeps you from dying from cold icy stairs, and the other doesn't have a handrail.

Have you tried the Faygo Slurpee at 7-11?

It tastes like icy pee.

I'm buying my wife golf shoes for Christmas. She doesn't golf...

But she does wash my car and the driveway gets a little icy in the winter.

Snow sculptures are cool!

Icy pose

What did one ice berg say to the other ice berg?

Icy you there

Whenever I hit the streets in the cold season with all my icy bling and large fur coat, people would always approach me to ask if I am a pimp.

I tell them, "Nah, man, I'm just a frosty dude."

My 4 year old daughter said icy was the easiest word to spell

I told her, I see why

Where would you check a cold Scottish inventor's drivers license?

Icy Watt you'd ID there

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes