Icu Nurse Jokes
6 icu nurse jokes and hilarious icu nurse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about icu nurse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Icu Nurse Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What is a good icu nurse joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
John Cena woke up from a coma
John Cena: Where am I?
Nurse: ICU
John Cena: No you don't.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was in a horrible car accident
A man wakes up in the ICU with a nurse standing over him. He has tubes in his nose, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and he's in terrible pain.
He asks the nurse "What happened?".
The nurse give him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then tells him, "You were in a horrible accident. You may not feel anything from the waist down right now."
The man replies "Can I feel your t**... then?"
Q: What did the nurse say to John Cena? A: ICU.
Why did the Thai nurse get relocated from the intensive care unit at the hospital?
It was scaring the other staff when she answered the phone, "Pe Ka Bu, ICU!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Positive attitude
Late in the night he regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply,
"Can I feel your t**..., then?"
That, my friends, is a positive attitude!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My old man (a doctor)'s Favorite.
A man waits patiently in the lobby of the ICU to see his wife, who has been in a coma for over a month, when a nurse runs out and says that he is needed right away.
Standing outside the room, the nurse tells the husband, "This morning we were giving your wife a sponge bath and we noticed something amazing!"
"What is it?!? the husband asked
The nurse explained, "Well, while we were giving her the sponge bath, we noticed that when we would touch her...uh....v**...... her vitals would spike on the monitor!"
Confused, the husband asked, "Well what do you need me for?"
The nurse responded, "Well we need you to go in there and perform o**... s**... on her, to see if that won't wake her up."
The man immediately agreed and closed the curtains as he entered the room.
5 minutes later the alarms sounded as the woman flat lined.
"Shes dead!" proclaimed the nurse, "What did you do?"
The man replied, "... I think I choked her..."
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