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Icu Jokes

89 icu jokes and hilarious icu puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about icu that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Lighten up and get ready for a few laughs with our collection of ICU jokes! From the mayhem of the neuro ICU to the hilarious spasms of the ward, we've got something for everyone. Get to know your fellow nurses and doctors even better with our selection of defibrillator jokes and lovable medical humor!

Funniest Icu Short Jokes

Short icu jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The icu humour may include short ward jokes also.

  1. Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the Peekaboo virus. Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.
  2. Where is the worst place to hide if you are having a game of hide and seek in a hospital ? The ICU
  3. John Cena woke up from a coma John Cena: Where am I?
    Nurse: ICU
    John Cena: No you don't.
  4. Watch out for that new "Peekaboo" variant the CDC has been warning about... It's been sending everyone to the ICU.
  5. Just been diagnosed with the dreaded 'Peek-a-Boo virus'...
    I'm being transferred to ICU.
  6. Breaking News: Local Kindergarten reports major Peek-a-Boo accident. All involved were rushed to the ICU
  7. Did you hear about the cannibal who visited the ICU ward? His doctor told him to eat more vegetables.
  8. John Cena wakes up in the hospital... He asked the nurse, "Where am I?"
    The nurse replied, "ICU."
    He looks at her and says, "No you can't..."
  9. Wife was in ICU Doctor: She is in a coma.
    Husband: Please save her. She's just 30.
    *Just then, ECG starts beeping. Fingers move. Her lips mumbled...
    And she spoke:
    I'm 29
  10. Did you hear about the new virus called the Peekaboo virus? They recommend that if you get it, go straight to the ICU.

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Icu One Liners

Which icu one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with icu? I can suggest the ones about coma and hospital.

  1. Just got hospitalised due to a peekaboo accident They put me in the ICU
  2. Where do Peek-a-boo patients go? The ICU.
  3. Where is the worst place to hide in a hospital? In the ICU.
  4. I just came down with the Peekaboo virus It sent me to the ICU
  5. A peeping tom fell out if a tree, where did he end up? In the ICU
  6. What's the worst place to hide in a hospital? The ICU
  7. Where do you take someone that got hurt playing peek a boo? To the I.C.U
  8. What ward does Sauron visit in the hospital? ICU
  9. Where do blind people go to get cured? To the ICU.
  10. Did you hear about the new Disney FastPass? Skip the lines, go straight to the ICU
  11. What room in a hospital has the least amount of privacy? The ICU.
  12. I injured myself playing with my 1-year-old I've been admitted to the Peekaboo ICU
  13. I was injured while playing peek-a-boo They took me to the ICU
  14. Where do you take someone who got injured in a game of peek a boo? ICU
  15. Where is the worst place to play hide and seek in a hospital? In the I.C.U.

Icu Nurse Jokes

Here is a list of funny icu nurse jokes and even better icu nurse puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • John Cena wakes up from a coma. JC: Where am I?
    Nurse: ICU.
    JC: No you don't.
  • John Cena wakes up in a hospital John Cena wakes up in a hospital after a 6-month coma
    John:"Where...where am I?"
    Nurse:"ICU Sir"
    John:"No...no you cannot"
  • John Cena wakes up in a hospital.... John : where am I?
    Nurse: ICU
    John : no you don't.
  • John Cena wakes up in the hospital He has no idea what is going on.
    A nurse walks into his room and he asks, "Where am I?"
    She responded, "ICU."
    He said,"No you don't."
  • Where will the nurses always keep watch of their patients? In the ICU.
  • Q: What did the nurse say to John Cena? A: ICU.
  • Why did the Thai nurse get relocated from the intensive care unit at the hospital? It was scaring the other staff when she answered the phone, "Pe Ka Bu, ICU!"
  • A critical care doc, an ICU nurse and a field epidemiologist walk into a bar, Just kidding, no they don't.
    g**...

Fun-Filled Icu Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about icu you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hospice jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make icu pranks.

New Pandemic Virus

Scientists are now concerned about a new virus which could become the next pandemic, which they have called the "peekaboo" virus. Patient who get the Peekaboo virus are put in ICU.

Did you hear about the guy that was injured in the freak peek-a-boo incident?

He had to be put in the icu

There was this haunted ICU in a hospital... People always died at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to keep a watch on the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour.
At 3pm, the door to the ward slowly opened, then a cleaner came in, disconnected the life support machine and plugged in a vacuum cleaner.

Former Olympic skier Pickabo Street donated money to a local hospital...

Former Olympic skier Pickabo Street donated money to a local hospital. In gratitude, the hospital named their emergency ward after her-- it's now the Picabo ICU.

I was injured playing Peekaboo with my nephew.

I had to go to the I.C.U.

The alphabet in 2021: ABDFGHJKLMNOQSVWXYZ.

There will be no more ER, ICU, or TP.

While recovering from surgery in the I.C.U...

...I couldn't help feeling like someone was watching me.

Where to you send someone who's been in a peekaboo accident?

To the I.C.U.

Where do you take someone injured in a Peek a Boo accident?

To the ICU.

Picabo Street is a former World Cup alpine ski racer and model. When she was inducted into the National Ski Hall of Fame in 2004, her home town of Triumph, Idaho dedicated an entire wing of the local hospital to her.

It's called the Picabo ICU.

Family members anxiously await news outside of the ICU

Dr Schrodinger :" there's good news and there's bad news."
"What do you mean by that?" Asks the wife.
Dr Schrodinger *takes a look inside* : " I'm afraid your husband is dead."
wife *sobbing* : "But then what's the good news?"
Dr Schrodinger: "What good news?"

I'm 29..

*Wife was in ICU*
Doc: seems like she is in a coma.
Husband: Please save her, she is just 30.
*Suddenly the ECG starts beeping, her hand moved, her lip mumbled*
And she spoke: I'm 29

Invisible people won't be a problem for doctors to treat

Just send them to the ICU

Why doesn't the horse go to the ICU?

Because he's in a stable condition.

Why does John Cena take COVID19 seriously?

Because he doesn't want to go to the ICU.

A man was sent to the hospital as he kept yelling that he is now invisible

They shifted him to ICU

What do you say when there's a newborn in the infirmary with a rattler?

"ICU baby, shaking that thing"

I got mauled by a Great Dane and ended up in intensive care

Come on s**... Doo, ICU

Which part of the hospital do thieves fear the most?

ICU

Where are doctors most observant of their patients in the hospital?

In the ICU.

Did you hear about the blind guy who got in a car accident?

He regained his sight in ICU.

I found out my friend has Peek Aboo

He's in the ICU

Where are people with paranoia sent to?

the ICU

Why was the hospital patient feeling so self-conscious?

She overheard the doctors keep saying ICU.

I'm dying to meet you

When can ICU

Svengoolie

Q: How do you get a farm girl to like you?
A: >!A tractor!<
Q: What's the difference between Sven (the host) and a savings bond?
A.1: >!One's appreciated.!<
A.2: >!A savings bond matures.!<
Q: What part of the hospital is off-limits to The Invisible Man?
A: >!The ICU.!<

Doc, my husband was just admitted to the hospital with violent b**... spasms. Do you know where he is?

Doctor: ICU baby, shaking that a**....

Where do you take someone after a Peeka Boo accident?

The ICU

John Cena wakes up in a Hostipal*

JC- Where am I?
Doctor- ICU
JC- No you can't.

Where did the stalker go when he took multiple gunshot wounds to the abdomen?

The ICU

Victorinox, the makers of Swiss Army knives, recently branched out into the medical supply business after developing a universal tool fit for every hospital ICU.

Their marketing slogan: "For all intensive purposes."

I was playing hide and seek at the hospital...

I kept ending up in ICU.

I got injured playing hide and seek.

Iv been admitted to the I.C.U

Which hospital ward is the best place to play peek-a-boo?

I.C.U

Someone recently said to me, "Next time I see you, I'm gonna beat you so bad you'll end up in the hospital."

So I said to him, "Not if ICU first."

Did anybody hear about the the peeping Tom who was caught?

He was beaten up so badly they sent him to the ICU.

So apparently an Olympic downhill skier was injured so many times she donated a huge sum to the local hospital's critical care unit.

Of course they called it the Picabu ICU.

A man was in a horrible car accident

A man wakes up in the ICU with a nurse standing over him. He has tubes in his nose, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and he's in terrible pain.
He asks the nurse "What happened?".
The nurse give him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then tells him, "You were in a horrible accident. You may not feel anything from the waist down right now."
The man replies "Can I feel your t**... then?"

jokes about icu