iceland Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious iceland puns

Did you know that Iceland...

...is only one sea away from Ireland?

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Have you ever noticed that Ireland is just one sea away from....

Iceland

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I hope England beats Iceland...

Or they will be out of Europe twice this week!

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England 1 - 2 Iceland

Credits to Iceland though, can't take that away.

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An Icelander takes a trip to Norway but is worried because he doesn't speak the language.

His friend assures him that this shouldn't be a problem: just speak very slowly and the Norwegians will understand you perfectly fine. Once in Oslo the Icelander goes to a bar and tries to order a beer in very slow Icelandic:

"I... want... a... beer."

The bartender gives him a beer. It worked! After he finishes it, he tries to order another one. Again, very slowly:

"I... want... another... beer."

The bartender gives him another beer. Amazing! After a couple more beers, the Icelander decides to try a conversation:

"I... am... from... Iceland."

The bartender replies:

"Me…… too."

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Snow White and the seven dwarfs go to see the pope.

Snowhite and the seven dwarfs go to see the pope. As Snow White talks to the pope, the dwarfs push Dopey in front and whisper, "Ask the question, Dopey, ask the question!" Dopey blushes, but the pope sees it and says, "Dopey, do you want to ask me a question?"

"Well, uhm... do you think they have *nuns* in *Iceland?*"

"Why sure", the pope goes, "I suppose there are some nuns in Iceland." But the dwarfs push Dopey in front again: "Ask the *whole* question, ask the *whole* question!" The pope sees it and says, "Dopey, do you want to ask me another question?"

"Yeah... do you think they have *black* nuns in Iceland?"

"I suppose there are some black nuns in iceland", answers the pope. "Ask the *whole* question, ask the *whole* question!" go the dwarfs. "Dopey, do you have another question for me?"

"Err, yes... do you think they have *little* black nuns in Iceland?"

The pope muses over this a bit, but finally decides "Nah... I really don't think they have little black nuns in Iceland."

And the dwarfs go: "Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin!"

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Even though the country is called Iceland, its winters are actually quite mild.

Guess they should have called it Chile

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What do you call the kid of an Iceland and Cuban parents?

Ice cubes.

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Why there is no musilms in Iceland ?

They all starved to death during Ramadan because the sun never sets.

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The worlds best ninjas comes from Iceland

Anyone actually seen an Icelandic ninja?

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Bobby Charlton was asked

Bobby Charlton was asked how he thought the England team of '66 would have fared against Iceland. " I think we'd have won 1-0 " he replied. "Only 1-0?" Said the reporter. "Yes," said Bobby. "Most of us are in our 70's now!"

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Its weird how Ireland

is just one sea away from Iceland

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Spain, England and Ireland walk into a bar

Iceland could not make it, he was still at the EuroΒ΄s

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What do you call the child of parents from Iceland and Cuba?

An ice cube.

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Iceland is supposed to be cheap

But Joe Hart couldn't save a thing.

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Where do your eyes land first when you look at a world map?

Iceland

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My dad is from Iceland and my mom is from Cuba

I'm an ICECUBE

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If a girl from Iceland and a guy from Cuba have a kid...

Will he be an icecube?

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Iceland drew 1-1 against Argentina...

Couldn't be more proud of my sons!

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What do Icelandic baseball players climb in high school gym?

Frozen Ropes.

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Did you know that having sex while drunk is illegal in Iceland?

Unfortunately, I'm not sure about if Asda have their own different rules

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Why is there no ice in Iceland?

Bc, they lost the recepie.

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Apparently it is illegal to have drunk sex in Iceland..

Not sure about Asda tho you might want to check their policies.

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Why was the Icelandic football player called into his manager's office?

He had a cavity.

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If Scotland breaks and joins Iceland

It can be called Scotchontherocksland

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I went mountain biking around around Iceland with a mate once...

we got kicked out of the shop not long after though.

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I killed your mother.

It's legal to go whale hunting in Iceland.

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Maradonna was asked by a reporter if his '86 national team could beat Iceland.

He replied "Yes, I think 1-0"

"Only 1-0?" asked the reporter.
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Maradonna answers " yeah we are nearing our sixties"

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Why do Icelandic men have a 2 inch Penis?

Cause it's always so cold.

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Did you know that Iceland has the death penalty!

It's called Ramadan

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Where do noobs live in Iceland?

Rekt-javΓ­k

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The Icelandic Army has the best camouflage ever.

I can't see them anywhere!

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What country should illegal immigrants stay away from?

Iceland

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What are the most funny Iceland jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Iceland? Well, here are the best Iceland dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Iceland pick up lines to share with friends.

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