Iced Jokes

55 iced jokes and hilarious iced puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about iced that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is about funny jokes related to iced beverages such as iced tea, iced coffee, ice cream, and caramel. Enjoy these humorous jokes and learn more about different types of iced drinks and how to make them.

Funniest Iced Short Jokes

Short iced jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The iced humour may include short icing jokes also.

  1. A man is on is death sentence and he gets to choose his last meal He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life, they never found a working machine.
  2. My father is cuban and my mother is from Iceland. So i am...... .....
    an Ice Cube
    Cred: Russell Peters
  3. I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. She said "Yes!". I said "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."
  4. I can't remember the name of that Italian dessert where you pour espresso over ice cream. I asked my Italian friend, but he couldn't remember either.
  5. In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
    Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
    Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
    Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
  6. I have a lactose intolerant friend who sells ice cream for a living. He can't take it, but he can dish it out.
  7. I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice.. At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
  8. Authorities close investigation on the group of hipsters found dead in a pond last week. Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool.
  9. It was so cold this morning I had to use my Tesco discount card to scrape the ice off my windscreen Didn't work though, I only got 10% off.
  10. I slipped on some black ice yesterday. At first I thought it was regular ice, but when I got back on my feet, I noticed my wallet was gone.

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Iced One Liners

Which iced one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with iced? I can suggest the ones about ice cube and ice pick.

  1. Why did the hipster fall into the lake? He went ice skating before it was cool.
  2. What does Batman put in his beverages? Just ice.
  3. I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I? McDonald's ice cream machine
  4. What do you call a super hero completely made of ice? Justice
  5. Bert: Hey Ernie, you want some ice cream? Sherbert.
  6. What does Batman put in his drinks? Just ice
  7. I don't always make Titanic jokes But when I do, I use them to break the ice
  8. How do you make a whale float? Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a whale.
  9. How did the hipster drown? He ice-skated before it was cool.
  10. What did the doctor Say to the gingerbread man who broke their legs? Try icing it.
  11. What does Batman put in his tea? Just ice.
  12. TITANIC Sorry that was a terrible ice breaker
  13. What does Batman take with his drinks? Just ice
  14. Why do hipsters hate ice skating? They could never do it before it was cool
  15. Bert asks Ernie, "Ernie do you want to get ice cream?" Ernie responds "Sure Bert"

Iced Tea Jokes

Here is a list of funny iced tea jokes and even better iced tea puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • An Indian Chief drinks 1,000 gallons of ice tea He drowned in his own tepee
  • What is Ice T's sister's name? Ness Tea
  • Do you have ice tea?
  • The only constants in life are taxes, death, and... 99c+tax AriZona Iced Tea
  • I saw an old news story about an American Indian that drank 3 gallons of iced tea in one sitting. Sadly, he ended up drowning in his own tea pee.
  • Coinkidink does not imply causalidink That's all I've got, but 2 long island iced teas me thinks that is deeply, utterly hilarious. Back me up..?
  • The ice breaker I used for my graduation speech today What do you call the speed of an herbal beverage at any given time?
    A. Veloci-tea
  • What does batman add to his tea? Just ice.
  • What kind of tea does an anarchist drink? Cheap generic iced tea.
    Because proper tea is theft.
  • Which southeast Asian drink is more popular, the iced tea or the coffee? Neither. It's a Thai.

Iced Coffee Jokes

Here is a list of funny iced coffee jokes and even better iced coffee puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Moms recipe for Iced Coffee Have Kids.
    Make Coffee.
    Forget you made coffee.
    Put it in the microwave.
    Forget you put it in the microwave.
  • With all the coffee jokes lately, I've realized something... My coffee is just like my wife.
    Ice cold, with no cream in it.
  • What's the difference between a barista and a barrister? One serves iced coffee and the other one serves just ice
  • In the window of a bar in Philadelphia Drop a bucket of Starbuck's Iced Coffee on your head to raise awareness of the rich city girls who have lost their ability to even.
  • I like my education just like my hot coffee No ICE.
  • What's Captain America's favorite coffee? Iced Americano
  • Why do necrofiles drink ice coffee instead of regular coffee? Because they prefer things cold
  • I added ICE to my Mexican Grown Coffee to make ice coffee. It disappeared.
  • What is brown and hard to get through airport security checks? A cup of iced coffee.
  • Showerthought: My lukewarm beer and my ice cold coffee have the same temperature. Maybe I should stop getting drunk at 9 am.
Iced joke, Showerthought: My lukewarm beer and my ice cold coffee have the same temperature.

Iced joke, Showerthought: My lukewarm beer and my ice cold coffee have the same temperature.

Laughter Iced Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about iced you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ice cold jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make iced pranks.

If water with ice is iced water...

... milk with ice is iced milk, and tea with ice is iced tea, what's ink with ice in it?
>!(This one works better out loud. If you don't get it, maybe say the answer out loud to someone you know and they'll probably agree even though they haven't heard the lead in.)!<

Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The d**... dance is called the Twist!

The CEOS of Budweiser, Miller, Heineken and Guinness sit down for a meal...

The waitress comes by for a drink order, and each orders their own.
Budweiser CEO: I'll have a Bud
Miller: MGD for me
Heineken: I'll have a Heineken
Guinness: Iced tea
Everyone stares.
Guinness replies: what? If you aren't drinking beer, neither am I!

What will Steve rogers say to order a drink at starbucks

An iced americano for an iced americano

What did Captain America order at Starbucks?

One iced Americano

What's captain America's favourite drink.

An iced americano

A half-japanese, an englishman, an egyptian and a french guy walk into a bar and order four ice teas.

A half-japanese, an englishman, an egyptian and a french guy walk into a bar and order four iced teas.

It was very bizarre.

So, I got one of those new Smart Refrigerators and gave it some verbal commands

But it iced me.

If Ice T got killed

He'd be called Iced T.

If Steve Rogers was a drink, what drink would he be?

An Iced Cap

What happened to the gingerbread man who double-crossed the mafia?

He got iced.

Did you hear about the the baker who was in the debt to the mob?

He got iced.

If frozen water is Iced water , what is frozen ink?

Iced Ink

Iced joke, If frozen water is  Iced water , what is frozen ink?