Icecream Jokes
67 icecream jokes and hilarious icecream puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about icecream that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your day a little sweeter with these hilarious icecream jokes! Enjoy funny puns about everything from icecream cones to icecream parlors to your favorite iced treats, like sundaes. No matter which flavor you're in the mood for, these jokes are sure to put a smile on your face.
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Funniest Icecream Short Jokes
Short icecream jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The icecream humour may include short parlor jokes also.
- My 7 year old son came up with this please be kind. Why did the icecream have an umbrella?... because there were to many sprinkles!
- What is a polar bear's favorite food? (Multi-questioned) ICE-cream!
-What is a black bear's favorite food?
Blackberries!
-What is a grizzly bear's favorite food?
Campers. - A man on crutches walks into his local Ice-Cream shop.. He asks the lady behind the desk for a Knickerbocker Glory.
She says; "Crushed nuts?"
He says; "No, a sprained ankle" - Did you hear about the ice-cream vendor found dead in his van covered in strawberry sauce and chocolate sprinkles? Police say he topped himself.
- How do you make a dead baby float? -2 scoops vanilla icecream
-2 scoops baby
-Add rootbeer and serve - Chocolate, icecream, cookies, mars bars, doritos, popcorn, milky ways, kit kats and lays! i wrote this joke to reach a wider audience.
- ICE-CREAM sellers..... Make your job sound more important by telling people that you're a 'Walls Treat Trader'!
- What do you get when an ice-cream truck breaks down on the side of the road? A cold shoulder.
- Why are Icecreams always the best journalists? Because they always get the best scoop...
Note: Did recently become a dad. - A man was found dead under an ice-cream truck, covered in chocolate syrup and sprinkles.. Police think he topped himself.
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Icecream One Liners
Which icecream one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with icecream? I can suggest the ones about iced and sundae.
- Bert : 'Ernie, do you want to get some icecream?' Ernie : 'Sherbert'
- Why did the little boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a truck.
- How do you make a dead baby float ? Two scoops of ice-cream and one scoop of dead baby.
- Why did the toast drop his ice-cream? He had butterfingers!
- What do you call a dog who serves icecream? Scoopy-Doo
- Where do you learn to make complicated ice-cream dishes? Sundae school.
- Why did Billy drop his ice cream He got run over by the ice-cream truck.
- If you think about it Everything in the universe is either icecream or not icecream.
- Unsettling sounds #23 Ice-cream van after dark
- One day my dad went to buy me some ice-cream...
- What's the ocean's favorite icecream flavor? pa-splash-io
- What's a sidewalk's favorite ice-cream flavor? Chalk-late
- What does the ice-cream van man do to save his parking spot? Puts cones out.
- What did the icecream truck say to the hipster? I was a food truck before it was cool.
- What's a banker's favourite flavor of icecream? Mint
Laughable Icecream Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about icecream you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flavour jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make icecream pranks.
A blonde girl is eating an ice-cream
Her friend tells her : "You have ice-cream on your cheek".
The blonde girl starts to rub her left cheek. "No the other way".
She puts a finger in her mouth and rubs. "Hij it gonhe ?"
(sorry, it's more a visual joke)
A penguin has some car trouble...
A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
A man is staring into his whiskey
The barkeep asks if something's the matter.
"3 of my servers have the same virus, there are reports of bugs and extensions cropping up in our clientelle's cookies, and today icecream sandwich ruined my phone."
"IT sounds rough" he adds sympathetically.
"IT?" the customer says, " I work at Baskin Robbins."
I miss the old times
I remember when my grandmother gave me 5 Euros to buy myself something.
I came back with 3 snickers, a bottle of coke, a lot of icecream and some Comics.
But now? Securitycameras everywhere man.
In honor of my cakeday...
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
"What's eating you?"
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!
A penguin's car broke down in the middle of the city.
So he got his car towed to a mechanic's shop and walked to an ice-cream shop to grab a large cone.
After about 20 minutes, he walked back to the mechanic's shop and asked if he knew what the problem was.
"It looks like you blew a seal," said the mechanic.
"No, no, I swear to god it's just ice-cream."
Two men were lost in a desert...
Dehydrated and dying, the men see a mirage of hundreds and hundreds of tents up ahead. As they get closer, they realize it's not a mirage, but a huge market.
The men stagger into the marketplace, begging everyone around for water, but the first few tents sell only jelly.
Moving on into the market, the men beg and plead for water but the next tents only sell cake.
As the men move forward they're surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of tents selling icecream only, with no water in sight.
The men finally exit the cluster of tents still dehydrated, and dying.
The first man turns to the other and says, "Is it just me, or was that really odd?"
The other man replies, "Yeah. It WAS a trifle bazaar..."
So a father and son are sitting outside an icecream shop.
And three women walk out, one l**..., one s**... and one biting the icecream cone. The father asks the son, "which one of those girls is married?" The son replies "obviously the one s**... the cone"
"No son, the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."
Sorry for grammar. I smart
Two men with Alzheimer's are sat in a park...
... when they hear an ice-cream van pull up nearby. Bob turns to Bill and asks 'do you want an ice-cream Bill?'
Bob says 'yes please, but don't forget the chocolate sauce.'
Bob says 'I won't forget, don't worry. Anything else?'
Bill says 'in that case, I'll have some chopped nuts on it too. Don't forget now.'
Bob says 'I won't, don't worry. Chocolate sauce and chopped nuts, coming right up' and
Bob wanders off in the direction of the ice-cream van.
After 40 minutes, Bob finally turns up with two hot-dogs. Bill says 'you fool Bob! I knew you'd forget! I wanted mustard on mine!'
Man runs frantically towards the moving icecream truck..
"Wait!" He exclaimed.
The truck stops and the driver asks, "What can I get you today?". "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to let you know I'm a vegan."
Blue seal
This penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices the oil pressure light is on so he drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers.
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.
The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "no no, it's just ice cream."
Why'd the little girls ice-cream melt?
She was on fire.
The wife brought home a tub of ice-cream...
...and asked me if I wanted some. "How hard is it?" I asked. She cheekily replied, "As hard as you get when you think about me n**...". I said "Go on then, pour me a glass".
Seals
A penguin is driving along in his car when it breaks down. Fortunately, there's a mechanic nearby and the car can be repaired.
While the car is in the garage, the penguin decides to waddle to the town to get a vanilla ice-cream. He eats it but forgets to wipe his mouth.
When he returns to the garage, the mechanic says "I think you blew a seal". The penguin replies "Nope, that's just ice-cream!"
I like my women like I like my icecream...
It's best when you mix white, pink, and brown.
A lady goes to a doctor...
"Doc, I have high fever. Can you give some medications?"
"Just walk in the rain, eat some ice-cream, drink cold-water..."
"What! Will my fever go away then?"
"No, you'll catch Pneumonia. I have the medication for it."
Penguin.
A penguin goes to get his car fixed at the mechanics on a hot day. Mechanic tells penguin it will be a while, so the penguin goes to the shop across the road and get some yummy vanilla icecream. The penguin returns to the mechanic and the mechanic says "looks like you've blown a seal.". the penguin replies "no it's only icecream."
I invested everything I had in an ice-cream topping factory
'Did you make much?'
Hundreds and thousands
A true story...
Me: My art style is practical and realistic. Not at all weird!
Me: practicing drawing eyes
Me: screws up
Me: d**... eye ice-cream!
When somebody tried to mug me, I raised my magnum...
But then I realized I was bringing an ice-cream to a gunfight.
Told by my 4yr old. How do you make the biggest icecream?
You need the biggest cow.
Why couldnt Sally swing?
She had no arms
Why did Billy drop his icecream?
He got hit by a bus
Icecream companies these days
They don't even follow regulations or have concern for consumer's health !!!
They have started adding Dihydrogen Monoxide to it for making it last longer
How did the black ice-cream truck driver die?
popsicle cell anemia
Days when my mama gave me 3$ and I came back with bread,
Eggs, milk, yoghurt, chocolate bars, chips, soda, icecream and a bunch of magazines.
Now, there are surveillance cameras everywhere.
Man: Hey man, do you have icecream in the freezer?
Jeffrey d**...: Nah dude, only Ben and j**....
A little girl asks her father: "Daddy, what is corruption?"
-- Go bring me a beer and I'll tell you.
-- But mommy said you should stop drinking!
-- Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.
-- Oh, okay!
