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Iceberg Jokes

116 iceberg jokes and hilarious iceberg puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about iceberg that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a cool way to inject a little humor into your conversations? Check out this list of hilarious iceberg jokes! From jokes about the famous Titanic iceberg to silly one-liners about iceberg lettuce, these jokes will surely make you and your friends laugh! Be prepared to be cool, icy, and, most importantly, entertained.

Funniest Iceberg Short Jokes

Short iceberg jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The iceberg humour may include short icicle jokes also.

  1. That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce... and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
  2. Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic? He was fired for Glacial Profiling.
  3. Food prices are getting out of control. Half a lettuce for $9 And that's just the tip of the iceberg
  4. What do Einstein and an iceberg with a lisp have in common? They both tried to think the unthinkable.
  5. All this panic buying has led me to using alternative methods for toilet paper... Last week was tree leaves this week it's lettuce. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!
  6. I went to the doctors with a lettuce just poking out of my bottom... The doctor asked why I was so concerned. I replied, I think it's just the tip of the iceberg
  7. My problem might need addressing... Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
  8. What did the captain if the Titanic do when he found out the ship hit an iceberg? He let it sink in.
  9. A waiter says to a customer "Excuse me, miss, but you appear to have some lettuce stuck in your pants." "That's just the tip of the iceberg." She replies.
  10. A lot more happened on board the Titanic than you might think. The movie just touched on the tip of the iceberg.

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Iceberg One Liners

Which iceberg one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with iceberg? I can suggest the ones about ice pick and ice skate.

  1. BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered an amazing fact about icebergs... More below.
  2. Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs? Because only the top 1% can stay above water.
  3. Why didn't the penguin jump off the iceberg? Because he got cold feet.
  4. What did the iceberg say to the Titanic? Cmon.. Just the tip??
  5. How big was the iceberg that sank the Titanic? Cap size
  6. What do you call a cool jewish guy? Iceberg
  7. Why did the titanic sink? It's safety only scratched the tip of the iceberg
  8. Do you want to play Titanic? You can be the iceberg and I'll go down on you.
  9. What do you call a Mexican boat that crashed into an Iceberg? Cinco
  10. What's the coolest vegetable? Iceberg lettuce
  11. I always get my 5 A Day... Zuchinni
    Iceberg lettuce
    Lychee
    Courgettes
    Horseradish
  12. Why'd the Titanic stop putting out on the first date? The iceberg had said 'just the tip'
  13. An iceberg caused the Titanic to sink.. Lettuce have a moment of silence.
  14. What do you call a cold Jewish person? Iceberg.
  15. Who do penguins celebrate Hanukkah with? The Icebergs

Titanic Iceberg Jokes

Here is a list of funny titanic iceberg jokes and even better titanic iceberg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The Captain of the Titanic heard a massive crunch. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
  • Did you know in 1998 Titanic overtook Jurassic Park to become the highest grossing film of all time? I guess the Titanic can't survive an iceberg but it can beat a Spielberg.
  • When Titanic came out, I went to the premiere wearing a iceberg costume Needless to say, it was a smash hit.
  • I had a phobia of icebergs, so my psychiatrist said to try taking my phobia head on. As Captain of the Titanic, there might've been some misinterpretation going on there...
  • I watched the Titanic twice I was convinced they weren't dumb enough to hit the iceberg again
  • The sinking of the Titanic was not an accident! Even the iceberg was fake! It was made by the build a berg group.
  • I made a "Titanic style" salad It's mostly composed of iceberg lettuce
  • Crew (Titanic) : We've been hit by an iceberg. The damages are irrecoverable. We've got no chance, sir. Captain Smith : Wait, let that sink in...
  • What type of lettuce do they serve on the titanic? Iceberg
    :D
  • The Titanic II is set to make its maiden voyage in 2022 At least they won't have to worry about icebergs, do to global warming.

Iceberg Lettuce Jokes

Here is a list of funny iceberg lettuce jokes and even better iceberg lettuce puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
  • Vegetable rationing Some supermarkets are rationing lettuce, I think this is just the tip of the iceberg...
  • Elton John was asked if he'd like an iceberg lettuce in his salad he thought for a moment and replied "no thanks, I'm a rocket man"
  • What is the most common disease for lettuce? Icebergers.
  • If anyone advises you how much lettuce to put on your burger, stop them right there. That's just the tip of the iceberg.
  • What did the iceberg lettuce say to the cucumber? "Man, how'd you get to be so cool..."
  • What kind of lettuce can sink a ship? Iceberg
  • A man has been raiding garden allotments and cutting off the tops of all the lettuces Police say that they think this is just the tip of the iceberg.
  • How do you turn a normal sandwich into a cool sandwich? Add iceberg lettuce
  • Elton John doesn't really like iceberg lettuce... He's a rocket man
Iceberg joke, Elton John doesn't really like iceberg lettuce...

Hitting Iceberg Jokes

Here is a list of funny hitting iceberg jokes and even better hitting iceberg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Two chili peppers were sailing a boat in the ocean. What did one say to the other when they hit a iceberg and started to sink? We're capsaicin!
  • A ship carrying a cargo of yo-yos hit an iceberg It sank 47 times.
  • What did the ship say to the s**... ice-berg? I'd hit that.
  • What did the Titanic say about the s**... iceberg? I'd hit that
  • What did the titanic say when it saw a s**... iceberg? I'd hit it
  • What did the Islandic flat earther say to the Australian antivaxxer? Sorry I can't make your kid's f**..., I have hit som kind of iceberg.
Iceberg joke, What did the Islandic flat earther say to the Australian antivaxxer?

Iceberg Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about iceberg you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ice cube jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make iceberg pranks.

"Captain, is that an iceberg in front of us?"

"I don't sink so."

Clinton on the Titanic

Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.
The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.
Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.
Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."
Nixon goes: "Screw the women!"
Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time!?"

A man walks into a doctor's office with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his bottom.

The doctor examines him for awhile but doesn't say a word.
Finally the man can't help himself and asks "Doctor, is this a problem?"
The doctor replies:
"Problem? It is just the tip of the iceberg!"

A guy goes to the doctor with a pain in his rear end

The doctor has a look and says, "This is could be serious, you seem to have a lettuce leaf stuck in there. I can remove it easily enough, but it may just be the tip of the iceberg."

A Korean and a Jew

Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?
Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.
Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?
Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?
Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.
Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?

Did you hear about that glacier off the coast of Italy?

It was a Romaine Iceberg

A lawyer, priest, and social worker are on a ship that hits an iceberg...

The captain comes over the intercom: "Everyone please make your way to the lifeboats".
The social worker yells out: "Women & children first!"
The lawyer starts pushing his way towards the boats: "Screw the children!"
The priest responds: "Do we have time?"

What do you call Kosher ice?

Iceberg

What do you do when you see a ship c**... into an iceberg?

You let it sink in.

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

TIL a Jew killed the people aboard the Titanic

It was an Iceberg

A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...

"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."
Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for b**... Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."
Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive you people for sinking the Titanic."
"I'm Jewish, that was an iceberg."
"Goldberg, iceberg, all the same to me."

I just got subscription to a Magazine About lettuce...

...I mean, It's fun to leaf through, and full of crisp facts -*And that's just issue 1!* The publishers assure me that it's only the tip of the iceberg! Gee, I can't wait for issue 2 to see what facts romaine!

Global warming is real. Last year in antarctica, a 17 mile long piece of ice broke off a glacier and dropped into the ocean.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...

The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?". The narwhal stares at him for a bit.
"Ok, so what are your hobbies?"

A woman goes to the doctors with a piece of lettuce sticking out the top of her underwear

The doctor says "that looks n**...", the woman replies "that's just the tip of the iceberg"

Right before colliding with an iceberg...

The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."

Doctor doctor

A guy goes to the doctor.
'doctor' he says ' I think I've got a lettuce up my b**...'
'bend over then and let me have a look' the doctor says.
The guy bends over and the doctor has a good look and a rummage around.
' I'm afraid that I think you're right ' he exclaimed, ' and I'm afraid it looks like that's just the tip of the iceberg '

A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation

Before long they're arguing.
Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."
Chinese man: "Why?"
Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Jewish man: "Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"
Chinese man: "Well, you know what? I hate you."
Jewish man: "Why?"
Chinese man: "The Titanic!"
Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Titanic!"
Chinese man: "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

A Republican and a scientist were together during the last moments of the Titanic...

The scientist said "In a hundred years that giant iceberg would melt and contribute in the rising of the sea level."
Then the Republican said "If we're sinking, why are we a hundred feet up in the air?"

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're s**... fools!?

I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

WHY DID TITANIC SINK?

because he had a crush on the iceberg but couldn't break the ice

A Jewish and a Chinese Guy.

Once two dudes, a Jewish and a Chinese were talking.
J: You evil Japanese started World War 2 by b**... Pearl Harbour.
C: I'm Chinese, not Japanese.
J: But you all look the same.
C: Well you sunk the Titanic.
J: That was an iceberg.
C: Iceberg, Goldberg, Bloomberg, its all the same to me.

Now serving: the Titanic Wedge Salad!

It's made from iceberg lettuce.
Note: I did not make this up. This is actually on the menu at my former workplace (the dining room at my grandmother's retirement home).

Two penguins are standing on an iceberg.

One says to the other, you look like you're wearing a tuxedo!
The penguin responds, how do you know I'm not?

[Titanic, 1912]

**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want on your sandwich?
**First mate:** ICEBERG!
**Captain:** lol... no need to shout, Dave.

Chinese guy and a Jewish guy sitting at a bar.

Suddenly Jewish guy whacks Chinese guy on the head. What was that for? says the Chinese guy. Pearl Harbor says the Jewish guy. Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. Jewish guy says Japanese Chinese what's the difference?
Time goes by. Suddenly the Chinese guy whacks the Jewish guy on the head. What's that for? Sinking of the Titanic. Titanic was sunk by an iceberg. Iceberg Goldberg what's the difference?

Priest, Doctor and Lawyer died

A priest, doctor and lawyer died. They met Saint Peter at the gate, who would only let them into heaven if they could answer one simple question.
Peter asked the priest, "what was the unsinkable ship that struck an iceberg?" The priest replied, "The Titanic". And the gates opened up.
Peter asked the doctor, "how many people died on the Titanic?" Doctor replied, "1,503". And the gates opened up.
"Name them" said Saint Peter to the lawyer.

A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face.

"Ow! Why did you do that?" asks he Chinese man.
"That's for Pearl Harbor," says the Jewish man.
"But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man.
"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" asks the Jewish man.
So the Chinese man punches the Jewish man.
"Ow! What's that for?" asks the Jewish man.
"It's for the Titanic," says the Chinese man.
"What? That was an iceberg that brought down the Titanic!" says the Jewish man.
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

Iceberg

A couple icebergs in Antarctica are best friends. They grew up together and have known each other since they were ice cubes.
One iceberg decides he's tired of all the cold weather, he tells his best friend he's going on a warm vacation for a couple weeks. A couple weeks pass by and he returns to Antarctica. His best friend immediately takes notice of the amount of weight his friend lost while on vacation.
He says "you look amazing my friend, you really slimmed down! Was vacation everything you thawed it would be?"

Anniversary dinner

A husband takes his wife out to dinner for their anniversary. They both order lobster and a salad.
After a few bites of her salad the wife started holding her mouth as if in pain. The husband asks whats wrong? She said "This salad is extremely cold!" The husband replied "Of course, it's made with iceberg lettuce."

They say that if enough Antarctic ice melts more and more viruses will emerge...

I guess that means COVID is only the tip of the iceberg!

I ran out of toilet paper

and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
Fun Fact, in the country I was born we really used leaves as toilet paper

My Grandad knew that The Titanic was going to sink.

He told every man, woman and child that the ship was going to sink.
They hushed him up.
He shouted "The ship is going to hit an iceberg and sink"
Stiĺl they tried to silence him.
He shouted even louder, "THE TITANIC IS GOING TO HIT A ICEBERG AND SINK!"
That was it! He'd been warned, so they threw him out of the cinema.

A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.

Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.
"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..
"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.
"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.
"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?
Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.
"What was that for?" asks the Jew.
"It's for the Titanic."
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg..."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" says the Chinese man.

Iceberg joke, What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?

jokes about iceberg