Iceberg Jokes

What are some Iceberg jokes?

A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...

The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".

That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce...

and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

A Korean and a Jew

Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?

Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.

Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?

Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?

Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.

Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?". The narwhal stares at him for a bit.

"Ok, so what are your hobbies?"

A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation

Before long they're arguing.

Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."

Chinese man: "Why?"

Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"

Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"

Jewish man: "Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"

Chinese man: "Well, you know what? I hate you."

Jewish man: "Why?"

Chinese man: "The Titanic!"

Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Titanic!"

Chinese man: "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

Doctor doctor

A guy goes to the doctor.


'doctor' he says ' I think I've got a lettuce up my bum'

'bend over then and let me have a look' the doctor says.

The guy bends over and the doctor has a good look and a rummage around.

' I'm afraid that I think you're right ' he exclaimed, ' and I'm afraid it looks like that's just the tip of the iceberg '

A lawyer, priest, and social worker are on a ship that hits an iceberg...

The captain comes over the intercom: "Everyone please make your way to the lifeboats".
The social worker yells out: "Women & children first!"
The lawyer starts pushing his way towards the boats: "Screw the children!"
The priest responds: "Do we have time?"

What do Einstein and an iceberg with a lisp have in common?

They both tried to think the unthinkable.

Clinton on the Titanic

Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.

The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.

Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.

Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."

Nixon goes: "Screw the women!"

Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time!?"

A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...

"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."

Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."

Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive you people for sinking the Titanic."
"I'm Jewish, that was an iceberg."
"Goldberg, iceberg, all the same to me."

A woman goes to the doctors with a piece of lettuce sticking out the top of her underwear

The doctor says "that looks nasty", the woman replies "that's just the tip of the iceberg"

What did the ship say to the sexy ice-berg?

I'd hit that.

Two old men on a bench

An old korean man and an old jewish man are sitting on a bench.
Suddenly the jewish elderly slaps the korean and says "that's for pearl harbour"

The korean replies "I've got nothing to do with that, it was the japanese, and I'm korean"
To which the jewish replies "well, japanese, chinese, korean, you're all the same to me."
Hearing that, the korean slaps the jewish, saying "that's for the titanic"
"I've got nothing to do with that, it was an iceberg"
"well, iceberg, rosenberg, all the same to me"

Right before colliding with an iceberg...

The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're stupid fools!?

I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

A Jewish guy and a Chinese guy are sitting on a bus

The Jewish guy turns to the Chinese guy and says "man I really hate Chinese people." The Chinese guy goes "why?" And the Jewish guy goes "because you guys bombed Pearl Harbor!" The Chinese guy says "that wasn't us that was the Japanese!" The Jewish guy replies "Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese you're all the same!"

So the Chinese guy thinks about this and then says "well you know what? I really hate Jewish people!" And the Jewish guy goes "why?" And the Chinese guy goes "because you guys sunk the titanic!" The Jewish guy says "that wasn't us! That was an iceberg!" The Chinese guy replies "iceberg, Weinberg, Steinberg you're all the same!"

Why didn't the penguin jump off the iceberg?

Because he got cold feet.

I went to the doctors with a lettuce just poking out of my bottom...

The doctor asked why I was so concerned. I replied, I think it's just the tip of the iceberg

Homophonic names

A Jew & a Chinese man are traveling on a train together. After a while, the Jew stands up, and gives the Chinese guy a tremendous slap.

"What are you doing?" says the stricken Chinese.

"That's for Pearl-Harbour" says the Jew.

"But I am Chinese! The Japanese were responsible for that!" says the Chinese.

"Japanese, Chinese--all the same."

They resume their seats. A while passes.

Then the Chinese gets up, and kicks mightily the Jew.

"Hey! what's going on?"

"That's for the Titanic!" says the Chinese.

"But the Titanic was hit by an Iceberg!"

"Iceberg, Weissberg--All the same."

How big was the iceberg that sank the Titanic?

Cap size

A guy goes to the doctor with a pain in his rear end

The doctor has a look and says, "This is could be serious, you seem to have a lettuce leaf stuck in there. I can remove it easily enough, but it may just be the tip of the iceberg."

A Jewish and a Chinese Guy.

Once two dudes, a Jewish and a Chinese were talking.

J: You evil Japanese started World War 2 by bombing Pearl Harbour.

C: I'm Chinese, not Japanese.

J: But you all look the same.

C: Well you sunk the Titanic.

J: That was an iceberg.

C: Iceberg, Goldberg, Bloomberg, its all the same to me.

What do you do when you see a ship crash into an iceberg?

You let it sink in.

What do you call a cool jewish guy?

Iceberg

A Chinese man and a Jew are talking

The Jew says "I still haven't forgiven your people for attacking Pearl Harbor."

To which the Chinese man replies, "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese you idiot!"

The Jew says "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"

Then the Chinese man says "You know, I haven't forgiven your people for sinking that Titanic."

Shocked, the Jew replies "That was an iceberg you idiot!"

To which the Chinese man says "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

---

I didn't write this joke but it's always funny when I see it. Thought I'd share.

A waiter says to a customer "Excuse me, miss, but you appear to have some lettuce stuck in your pants."

"That's just the tip of the iceberg." She replies.

A lot more happened on board the Titanic than you might think.

The movie just touched on the tip of the iceberg.

The Captain of the Titanic heard a massive crunch.

But that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Do you want to play Titanic?

You can be the iceberg and I'll go down on you.

When Titanic came out, I went to the premiere wearing a iceberg costume

Needless to say, it was a smash hit.

What do you call a Mexican boat that crashed into an Iceberg?

Cinco

A Chinese man and a Jewish man were walking along one day

A Chinese man and his Jewish friend were walking along one day when the Jewish man whirled and slugged the Chinese man and knocked him down.

"What was that for?" the Chinese man asked.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" the Jewish man said.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. I'm Chinese."

"Chinese, Japanese, you are all the same!"

"Oh!"

They continued walking and after a while the Chinese man whirled and knocked the Jewish man to the ground.

"What was that for?" the Jewish man asked.

"That was for the Titanic!"

"The Titanic? That was an iceberg."

"Iceberg, Goldberg, you are all the same."

A man walks into a doctor's office with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his bottom.

The doctor examines him for awhile but doesn't say a word.

Finally the man can't help himself and asks "Doctor, is this a problem?"

The doctor replies:

"Problem? It is just the tip of the iceberg!"

A Republican and a scientist were together during the last moments of the Titanic...

The scientist said "In a hundred years that giant iceberg would melt and contribute in the rising of the sea level."

Then the Republican said "If we're sinking, why are we a hundred feet up in the air?"

Elton John was asked if he'd like an iceberg lettuce in his salad

he thought for a moment and replied "no thanks, I'm a rocket man"

Two penguins are standing on an iceberg.

One says to the other, you look like you're wearing a tuxedo!

The penguin responds, how do you know I'm not?

Vegetable rationing

Some supermarkets are rationing lettuce, I think this is just the tip of the iceberg...

I just got subscription to a Magazine About lettuce...

...I mean, It's fun to leaf through, and full of crisp facts -*And that's just issue 1!* The publishers assure me that it's only the tip of the iceberg! Gee, I can't wait for issue 2 to see what facts romaine!

What did the titanic say when it saw a sexy iceberg?

I'd hit it

An iceberg caused the Titanic to sink..

Lettuce have a moment of silence.

I watched the Titanic twice

I was convinced they weren't dumb enough to hit the iceberg again

An English man, American, Chinese man, and a Jewish man are on a plane...

Out of nowhere the American punches the Chinese man. the British man asks, "what was that for?"

"Pearl Harbour!" exclaims the American. "That was the Japanese?" says the British man.

"Chinese, Japanese, They're all the same!"



Suddenly the British man punches the Jewish man. The American asks, "what was that for?"

"Titanic!" exclaims the British man. "That was an Iceberg?" says the American.

"Icebergs, Goldbergs, They're all the same!"

If anyone advises you how much lettuce to put on your burger, stop them right there.

That's just the tip of the iceberg.

What's the Difference?

A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.

"Owch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?"

"That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says.

"But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" And the Jewish man sits back down.

Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face.

"Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?"

"That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says.

"But that was an iceberg!"

"Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

What do you call a cold Jewish person?

Iceberg.

Crew (Titanic) : We've been hit by an iceberg. The damages are irrecoverable. We've got no chance, sir.

Captain Smith : Wait, let that sink in...

Now serving: the Titanic Wedge Salad!

It's made from iceberg lettuce.

Note: I did not make this up. This is actually on the menu at my former workplace (the dining room at my grandmother's retirement home).

The sinking of the Titanic was not an accident! Even the iceberg was fake!

It was made by the build a berg group.

I made a "Titanic style" salad

It's mostly composed of iceberg lettuce

Why'd the Titanic stop putting out on the first date?

The iceberg had said 'just the tip'

What type of lettuce do they serve on the titanic?

Iceberg

:D

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

What do you call Kosher ice?

Iceberg

TIL a Jew killed the people aboard the Titanic

It was an Iceberg

WHY DID TITANIC SINK?

because he had a crush on the iceberg but couldn't break the ice

What kind of lettuce can sink a ship?

Iceberg

Karma

A Chinese man and his Jewish friend were walking along one day when the Jewish man whirled and slugged the Chinese man and knocked him down.

"What was that for?" the Chinese man asked.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" the Jewish man said.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. I'm Chinese."

"Chinese, Japanese, you are all the same!"

"Oh!"

They continued walking and after a while the Chinese man whirled and knocked the Jewish man to the ground.

"What was that for?" the Jewish man asked.

"That was for the Titanic!"

"The Titanic? That was an iceberg."

"Iceberg, Goldberg, you are all the same."

What did the iceberg lettuce say to the cucumber?

"Man, how'd you get to be so cool..."

A Jewish man and an Chinese man spark up a conversation....

Before long they're arguing...

Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."

Chinese man: "For what?"

Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"

Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"

Jewish man: "eh, Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"

Chinese man: "Well, you kow what? I hate you."

Jewish man: "For what?!?"

Chinese man: "The Titanic!"

Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Tatanic!"

Chinese man: "eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

"Captain, is that an iceberg in front of us?"

"I don't sink so."

How to make Iceberg jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Iceberg to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Iceberg? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Iceberg pick up lines to share with friends.

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