iceberg Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious iceberg puns

A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...

The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".

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That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce...

and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

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I guy goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his anus.

The doctor, obviously disgusted, takes a look and says "ugh, that's nasty".

To which the man responds, "Nasty? Doc, that's just the tip of the iceberg".

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A man goes to the doctor and says,

"Doc, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my anus."

The doctor instructs him to drop his trousers, and then examines him.

The man asks, "Is it serious, doc?"

The doctor replies, "Sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."

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A man goes into the doctors with butt pain

A man goes into the doctors with butt pain

Man: Doctor my butt really hurts, I need help

Doctor: Can I take a look?

Man: Sure

Doctor: It seems you have a piece of lettuce stuck inside your butt

Man: That's just the tip of the iceberg

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A Korean and a Jew

Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?

Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.

Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?

Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?

Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.

Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?

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A guy is feeling horrible so he goes to the doctor...

During the exam the doctor is shocked, "Oh my god! No wonder you feel bad, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of your butt!"
The man says, "Yeah, and that's just the tip of the iceberg!"

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A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?". The narwhal stares at him for a bit.

"Ok, so what are your hobbies?"

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A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation

Before long they're arguing.

Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."

Chinese man: "Why?"

Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"

Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"

Jewish man: "Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"

Chinese man: "Well, you know what? I hate you."

Jewish man: "Why?"

Chinese man: "The Titanic!"

Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Titanic!"

Chinese man: "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

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I went to the doctors for the first time in a long while. He told me I had a piece of lettuce hanging out of my ass

I told him it's just the tip of the iceberg

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Doctor doctor

A guy goes to the doctor.


'doctor' he says ' I think I've got a lettuce up my bum'

'bend over then and let me have a look' the doctor says.

The guy bends over and the doctor has a good look and a rummage around.

' I'm afraid that I think you're right ' he exclaimed, ' and I'm afraid it looks like that's just the tip of the iceberg '

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A lawyer, priest, and social worker are on a ship that hits an iceberg...

The captain comes over the intercom: "Everyone please make your way to the lifeboats".
The social worker yells out: "Women & children first!"
The lawyer starts pushing his way towards the boats: "Screw the children!"
The priest responds: "Do we have time?"

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A man walks into the doctors with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his bum

The doctor takes a look and says "God, looks like you've got a problem there." the patient replies "this is just the tip of the iceberg!"

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A Jew walks into a bar

He sits down and sees an Asian man. He walks over to the Asian man and punches him in the nose.

Asian Man: what the hell was that for?

Jew: that's for Pearl Harbor

Asian Man: I'm Chinese the Japanese did Pearl Harbor!

Jew: Chinese, Japanese what's the difference.

So the Jew sits back down. 20 minutes later the Chinese man gets up, walks over to the Jew and punches him in the mouth.

Jew: What the fuck was that for?

Chinese Man: that's for the titanic

Jew: the Jews didn't sink the titanic that was an iceberg

Chinese man: iceberg, Greenberg what's the difference?

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A Chinaman and a Jew were drinking in a bar

when all of a sudden the Jew knocks the Chinaman out of his barstool

Chinaman: What's that for?!!

Jew: That's for Pearl Harbor!!

Chinaman: That wasn't us, that was the Japanese! To which the Jew replies, Chinese, Japanese, Siamese. they're all the same!

They put the instance aside and continue drinking.

A little while passes and the Chinaman out of nowhere gives the Jew a mean left hook knocking him on his ass.

Jew: What in hell is that for?!!

Chinaman: That's for the Titanic!!

Jew: That wasn't the Jews that was an iceberg!! without missing a beat the Chinaman replies, Iceberg, Steinberg, Goldberg it's all the same thing.

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What do Einstein and an iceberg with a lisp have in common?

They both tried to think the unthinkable.

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A distraught man goes to his doctor and says "Doc, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my butt!"

The doctor asks him to drop his pants and examines him.

The man asks: "Doc, does it look serious?"

The doctor replies: "Sorry to tell you, but it's just the tip of the iceberg."

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A Priest, a Monk, and a Rabbi on a cruise ship. (NSFW)

A Priest, a Monk, and a Rabbi are on a cruise ship.

While the ship is out to sea, it hits an iceberg and begins to sink.

Going down like the Titanic, the Rabbi asks the Monk and Priest: "What should we do? Should we save the children?"

The Monk says "Fuck the children!"

The Priest asks "Do you think we'll have time?"

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Clinton on the Titanic

Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.

The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.

Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.

Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."

Nixon goes: "Screw the women!"

Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time!?"

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A Jew and a China man.

Are sitting in a plane. The Jewish guy looks over at the China man and says.

Jewish man: "I hate your kind of people."

China man : "what the hell did I do to you?"

Jewish man : "your people bombed pearl harbor!"

China man : "that was the Japanese. China had nothing to do with it."

Jewish man: "Chinese,Japanese,Korean you are all the fucking same"

To this the China man turns to the Jewish man and says.

China man: " well I hate all of the Jewish people"

Jewish man: (laughing) " oh ya , why do you hate the Jews?"

China man: "you sunk the Titanic!"

Jewish man: " idiot! That was an iceberg"

China man: " Steinberg, Goldberg,iceberg you are all the fucking same"

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A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...

"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."

Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."

Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive you people for sinking the Titanic."
"I'm Jewish, that was an iceberg."
"Goldberg, iceberg, all the same to me."

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Guy goes to the doctors with a lettuce stuck up his arse, doctor was umming and umming, guy says doc what is wrong? Doctor says.

This is only the tip of the iceberg.

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A woman goes to the doctors with a piece of lettuce sticking out the top of her underwear

The doctor says "that looks nasty", the woman replies "that's just the tip of the iceberg"

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What did the ship say to the sexy ice-berg?

I'd hit that.

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Two old men on a bench

An old korean man and an old jewish man are sitting on a bench.
Suddenly the jewish elderly slaps the korean and says "that's for pearl harbour"

The korean replies "I've got nothing to do with that, it was the japanese, and I'm korean"
To which the jewish replies "well, japanese, chinese, korean, you're all the same to me."
Hearing that, the korean slaps the jewish, saying "that's for the titanic"
"I've got nothing to do with that, it was an iceberg"
"well, iceberg, rosenberg, all the same to me"

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Right before colliding with an iceberg...

The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."

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A man goes into the doctors saying his ass hurts....

He pulls down his pants and the doctor says "there is a bit of lettuce sticking out of your butt! The man replies "yeah i know, thats just the tip of the iceberg"

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I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're stupid fools!?

I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

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A man goes into the doctor with a head of lettuce sticking out of his butt.

"That looks nasty," says the doctor.
"Well," says the man "That's just the tip of the iceberg."

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A Jewish guy and a Chinese guy are sitting on a bus

The Jewish guy turns to the Chinese guy and says "man I really hate Chinese people." The Chinese guy goes "why?" And the Jewish guy goes "because you guys bombed Pearl Harbor!" The Chinese guy says "that wasn't us that was the Japanese!" The Jewish guy replies "Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese you're all the same!"

So the Chinese guy thinks about this and then says "well you know what? I really hate Jewish people!" And the Jewish guy goes "why?" And the Chinese guy goes "because you guys sunk the titanic!" The Jewish guy says "that wasn't us! That was an iceberg!" The Chinese guy replies "iceberg, Weinberg, Steinberg you're all the same!"

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A man walks into his doctor's office with an extreme pain in his backside

Seeing his clearly in pain, the doctor asks him to bend over. After a few seconds the doctor exclaims, You've got a piece of lettuce hanging out of your anus!

Grimacing, the man said, Doc- that's just the tip of the iceberg!

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I went to the doctors with a lettuce just poking out of my bottom...

The doctor asked why I was so concerned. I replied, I think it's just the tip of the iceberg

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A man visits a doctor because he shoved an entire lettuce up his butt...

The doctor tells him,

"Hmm, there's a strange rash around your butthole now..."

The man, shocked, replies,

"Oh my god, is it serious?"

The doctor says,

"Serious? That's just the tip of the iceberg!"

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Why didn't the penguin jump off the iceberg?

Because he got cold feet.

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Homophonic names

A Jew & a Chinese man are traveling on a train together. After a while, the Jew stands up, and gives the Chinese guy a tremendous slap.

"What are you doing?" says the stricken Chinese.

"That's for Pearl-Harbour" says the Jew.

"But I am Chinese! The Japanese were responsible for that!" says the Chinese.

"Japanese, Chinese--all the same."

They resume their seats. A while passes.

Then the Chinese gets up, and kicks mightily the Jew.

"Hey! what's going on?"

"That's for the Titanic!" says the Chinese.

"But the Titanic was hit by an Iceberg!"

"Iceberg, Weissberg--All the same."

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What are the most funny Iceberg jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Iceberg? Well, here are the best Iceberg dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Iceberg pick up lines to share with friends.

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