Ice Skating Jokes

45 ice skating jokes and hilarious ice skating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ice skating that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Ice Skating Short Jokes

Short ice skating jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ice skating humour may include short ice skate jokes also.

  1. Authorities close investigation on the group of hipsters found dead in a pond last week. Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool.
  2. Did y'all hear about the group of hipsters who drowned at the pond? Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool
  3. I don't go on and on about how I can't roller skate But apparently the whole world needs to know about how this w**... in the river can't swim.
  4. Drowning Hipster Why did the hipster drown?
    He went ice skating on the pond before it was cool.
  5. What happened when to the psychoanalyst when he went ice skating for the first time? A Freudian Slip
  6. Little Suzie, donned her skates... Little Suzie, donned her skates,
    Upon the ice to frisk.
    What a silly girl she was,
    Her little *
  7. Why did the hockey player hate his desk job at the ice skating rink? Because he was in the office part of the building
  8. I took my psychic girlfriend ice skating but she fell through the ice. Luckily, Claire's buoyant
  9. A disgruntled man stands in the stands up and yells: "You can't walk on water!" Odd behaviour, since it was at an ice-skating competition
  10. What do you say to a fig on ice? Fig u're skating

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Ice Skating One Liners

Which ice skating one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ice skating? I can suggest the ones about ice rink and skating.

  1. Why did the hipster fall into the lake? He went ice skating before it was cool.
  2. How did the hipster drown? He ice-skated before it was cool.
  3. Why do hipsters hate ice skating? They could never do it before it was cool
  4. Why did the hipster drown? He went ice skating on the pond before it was cool
  5. What do you call an ice skating dwarf? A midget spinner
  6. Noone laughed when i fell while skating. But the ice sure cracked up.
  7. How did the hipster die? He went ice skating before it was cool
  8. I want to get into ice skating but I keep getting cold feet!
  9. mike wazowski just opened an ice skating parlour he called it monsters rink
  10. Skating on ice at 1°C is a great way to get to know people... It's a great icebreaker
  11. Never go ice skating on your first date in spring. It could be a bad ice breaker.
  12. Which Greek god has to resurrect every time he's been ice skating? Dionysus.
  13. Hey are you an ice skating rink? ' cause you're giving me a zamboner right now
  14. Camouflage ice skates You can hide, but you can't run
  15. Why do Norse gods never ice skate? Because the ice always Thors.

Delightful Fun Ice Skating Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about ice skating you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ice rinks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ice skating pranks.

The thing about ice skating ...

No matter how good you are, the hardest part is always your n**....

g**... skates.

The ice was thin.
Then it broke and she fell right in.
The boy on the bank heard her shout.
He jumped right in and helped her out.
Now they're married.
Very nice.
All she had to do
was break the ice.

Fat chick

I was ice-skating today, just minding my own business, when I noticed a rather plump woman, who kept giving me the eye.
Eventually, she came over to me.
"Hi there. I'm a bit shy and I'm not very good at breaking the ice!" she laughed.
"Have you tried jumping?" I asked.

Blonde goes ice fishing

A blonde decides to go ice fishing. She makes a hole in the ice and starts fishing.
Suddenly a voice from above says: There are no fish here.
Startled, the blonde looks around but doesn't see anybody. She shrugs and continues.
After a while the voice comes again: There are no fish here.
The blonde looks up and asks, Lord? Is that you?
The voice replies,"No, this is the ice-skating rink's maintenance manager. Seriously, there are no fish here.

Al, Ben, and Carl were fishing in the middle of a lake when Al fell overboard.

Ben jumped into the lake to rescue Al. When he finally found Al, he threw the body onto the boat and Carl pulled him up.
As soon as Ben was safely in the boat, he noticed that Al wasn't breathing, so he quickly gave Al mouth-to-mouth.
"Yuck!" said Ben. "I don't remember Al having such bad breath."
"Come to think of it," said Carl, "I don't remember him wearing ice skates either."

Psychologists go ice-skating

(Read in an old magazine)
So this group of psychologists go for ice-skating. Being novices, all of them failed in their first attempt.
I have never seen so many Freudians slip at a time

Donald Trump Skating on a Frozen Lake...

Donald Trump is staking on a frozen pond when suddenly the ice breaks and he falls in. Luckily three small boys were on hand to pull him out. ""You boys saved my life" says Donald. "How can I repay you?"
The first boy asks for a toy car and the second boy asks for a toy plane. The third boy however asks for a motorised wheelchair. "Why do you want a wheelchair? You look perfectly healthy" says Donald. "I am" says the boy. "But I'm going to need one after my sister discovers I saved Donald Trump".