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Ice Rink Jokes

24 ice rink jokes and hilarious ice rink puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ice rink that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Ice Rink Short Jokes

Short ice rink jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ice rink humour may include short ice skating jokes also.

  1. Why do hockey rinks have rounded corners? Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.
  2. I don't go on and on about how I can't roller skate But apparently the whole world needs to know about how this w**... in the river can't swim.
  3. Why did the hockey player hate his desk job at the ice skating rink? Because he was in the office part of the building

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Ice Rink One Liners

Which ice rink one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ice rink? I can suggest the ones about ice skate and ice hockey.

  1. There's one place that I just can't stand. My local ice rink.
  2. mike wazowski just opened an ice skating parlour he called it monsters rink
  3. Hey are you an ice skating rink? ' cause you're giving me a zamboner right now

Ice Rink Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about ice rink you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roller skating jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ice rink pranks.

A man goes ice fishing...

He takes out his ice pick and begins to hack away. Suddenly, he hears a booming voice from above say, "There are no fish there."
He moves to a new spot and begins again. Again comes the voice, There are no fish there either."
He tries a third spot, and again the voice informs him, "Not there either."
Frightened, the man calls out, "Is that you, God?"
"No," the voice booms, "I'm the rink manager."

A drunk Minnesotan decides to go ice fishing

He starts sawing a hole in the ice, but just then a booming voice says, "You will find no fish there."
The drunk ignores it and continues sawing. The voice repeats, "You will find no fish under the ice."
The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?"
The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."

The Voice

A guy decides to go ice fishing. He goes out on the ice and begins cutting a hole to drop his line through. Suddenly a loud, booming voice speaks from far above: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."⁠
Somewhat spooked, he moves to another spot and tries again. Once again, the deep voice from above: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
⁠Now the guy is thoroughly frightened. He looks up timidly and asks, "Is that you, Lord??"⁠ The voice replies, "NO! THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"

A man decides to visit Germany with his dog for 2 weeks.

He wishes to experience German culture during the winter. So, he visits an ice rink. As soon as the man steps foot on the ice, the dog darts forward, excited about his new surroundings. The dog proceeds to fall through a thinner patch of ice. The man leaps forward to save his dog, but another man dives in and pulls the dog to safety. The German man explains he is a nearby resident who saw what was about to happen. The other man, realizing his dog will need help as soon as he can get asks,
"Are you a vet?"
The German man replies, "Vet? I am soaking!"

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time

All of a sudden, he hears a voice. There are no fish under the ice! He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: There are no fish under 
the ice!
He nervously looks up and asks, Lord? Is that you?
No, this is the rink manager!

Blonde goes ice fishing

A blonde decides to go ice fishing. She makes a hole in the ice and starts fishing.
Suddenly a voice from above says: There are no fish here.
Startled, the blonde looks around but doesn't see anybody. She shrugs and continues.
After a while the voice comes again: There are no fish here.
The blonde looks up and asks, Lord? Is that you?
The voice replies,"No, this is the ice-skating rink's maintenance manager. Seriously, there are no fish here.

A man wants to go ice fishing.

He goes onto the ice, drills a hole, and puts out his line.
Suddenly he hears a loud voice from above, saying 'THERE ARE NO FISH THERE.'
He gets up, a little confused, and moves to another spot on the ice, drilling another hole and throwing his line out again.
Once again, he hears: 'THERE ARE NO FISH THERE.'
Trembling, he looks up. 'A-Are you G-God?'
'NO. I AM THE RINK MANAGER.'

Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing.

As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice." Ole and Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, "There are no fish under the ice." They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, "Are you God?" The voice spoke back, "No ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant."

Icefishing

An ice fisher makes a hole in the ice, puts his fishing rod in and suddenly he hears a voice "There are no fish here".
So he moves a bit further away, makes another hold, puts his lure in and hears again "There are no fish here".
He looks up and asks "God? Is that you"
The voice grumbles "No, d**..., I'm the ice rink groundskeeper".

2 hockey players were fighting on the rink. Both were swinging at each other full strength. Until one lands a nice right hander to the jaw and the hockey player lands face first onto the ice. A player on the bench says

"at least he got ice on it right away."

A Dumb Blonde goes Ice Fishing

They head out onto the ice with their bucket, fishing gear, and a big drill. As they put the drill bit on the ice surface, a voice booms out from all around:
**DON'T DRILL INTO THE ICE!**
The dumb blonde looks around fearfully and says meekly, "G-G-God? Is... Is that you?"
The booming voice replies:
**NO. THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!**

Oli and sven

One day Oli and Sven went out ice fishing. The started drilling into the ice and from above a voice boomed " there are no fish under the ice!"

Heeding the advice the duo moved about 20 Feet and started drilling again. Again the the voice boomed "there are no fish under the ice!"
Oli gazed up and asked "are you god?!"
"No" the voice said "I am the hockey rink manager!"

A blonde is drilling in the ice to fish when he hears a voice call out from above...

**There are no fish under the ice**
The guy looks up but doesn't see anyone. He asks - can I at least drill and see for myself?
The answers in a louder tone.
**There are no fish under the ice**
The poor guy looks up and still can't see anyone. He thinks to himself - maybe I'm just hearing voices. He continues drilling.
The voice bellows louder than ever!
**There are no fish under the ice**
Now the blonde begins to tremble as he asks - who speaks to me?
**The owner of the skating rink**

Ice Fishing Blonde

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.
So the man c**... says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift.
Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in.
Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there.
So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.
So the man c**... says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”