Ice Fishing Jokes
24 ice fishing jokes and hilarious ice fishing puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about ice fishing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Ice Fishing Short Jokes
Short ice fishing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ice fishing humour may include short fly fishing jokes also.
- The most Canadian joke i know How did the newfie die of ice fishing?
He got hit by the zamboni! - Did you hear about the blonde that was killed while ice fishing yesterday? She was hit by a zamboni...
- Eskimo 1: "Where were you the whole morning?" Eskimo 2: "Ice fishing." "What did you get?" "Ice."
- I met a girl when I was ice fishing I couldn't get through to her at first, but then I broke the ice
- Went ice fishing yesterday. Caught over a hundred pounds... Unfortunately most of it melted by the time I got home.
- A man went ice fishing one day and reeled-in a giant ice cube After months of only catching fish, he finally caught a cold.
- I went ice fishing for the first time and I didn't do too well... All I caught was a cold!
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Ice Fishing One Liners
Which ice fishing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ice fishing? I can suggest the ones about fishing and catching fish.
- I once tried ice fishing for the first time. Only bite was... _frost_.
Ridiculous Ice Fishing Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about ice fishing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fishing pole jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ice fishing pranks.
A man goes ice fishing...
He takes out his ice pick and begins to hack away. Suddenly, he hears a booming voice from above say, "There are no fish there."
He moves to a new spot and begins again. Again comes the voice, There are no fish there either."
He tries a third spot, and again the voice informs him, "Not there either."
Frightened, the man calls out, "Is that you, God?"
"No," the voice booms, "I'm the rink manager."
Fishing secret
A guy is out ice fishing and he hasn't had a bite in hours, but the fellow next to him is pulling in fish after fish. Exasperated, the man finally approached the successful fisherman to find his secret.
"What's your secret buddy, I mean you've been pulling in fish left and right all day long."
"Ooo gahh takee darmns orm" the guy says.
"What??"
"Ooo gahh takee darmns orm"
"I'm sorry, I just can't understand you."
"Oh...," he says and spits something in his hand.
"You've got to keep the worms warm."
Two guys were out on a lake ice fishing
One looks at the other and sees that he's got a pile of fish, and asks him,
"hey buddy, how'd you catch so many fish and I'm sitting here with nothing?"
"Eep or orms orm" the man grumbled
"What?"
"Eep or orms orm!"
"Buddy, i got no clue what you're saying!"
The man spat in exasperation and said, "Keep your worms warm!"
Keep 'em warm
Bob is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is about to leave, when a guy walks up cuts a hole in the ice beside him, and starts pulling out fish as fast a he can drop his hook in the water.
Bob can't believe it, he yells over " whats your secret?"
"woogatkakeptewrwm" he answers back.
"what did you say?" replies Bob.
The man spits a large ball of worms into his hand and says to Bob, " you have to keep your worms warm".
Blonde goes ice fishing
A blonde decides to go ice fishing. She makes a hole in the ice and starts fishing.
Suddenly a voice from above says: There are no fish here.
Startled, the blonde looks around but doesn't see anybody. She shrugs and continues.
After a while the voice comes again: There are no fish here.
The blonde looks up and asks, Lord? Is that you?
The voice replies,"No, this is the ice-skating rink's maintenance manager. Seriously, there are no fish here.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing.
As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice." Ole and Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, "There are no fish under the ice." They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, "Are you God?" The voice spoke back, "No ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant."
Al, Ben, and Carl were fishing in the middle of a lake when Al fell overboard.
Ben jumped into the lake to rescue Al. When he finally found Al, he threw the body onto the boat and Carl pulled him up.
As soon as Ben was safely in the boat, he noticed that Al wasn't breathing, so he quickly gave Al mouth-to-mouth.
"Yuck!" said Ben. "I don't remember Al having such bad breath."
"Come to think of it," said Carl, "I don't remember him wearing ice skates either."
Oli and sven
One day Oli and Sven went out ice fishing. The started drilling into the ice and from above a voice boomed " there are no fish under the ice!"
Heeding the advice the duo moved about 20 Feet and started drilling again. Again the the voice boomed "there are no fish under the ice!"
Oli gazed up and asked "are you god?!"
"No" the voice said "I am the hockey rink manager!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you capture a polar bear?
Cut a big fishing hole in the ice. Wait for the polar bear to bend over the hole to fish. Then run up behind the polar bear and **kick it in the icehole!**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's no fish
A couple of h**... decide to go ice fishing one day. They get their shanty set up and just as they're about to drill they hear.... there's no fish under the ice there. So they decide to move their shanty to a new location, get it all set up, just as they're about to drill they hear... there's no fish under the ice there. They look at each other dumbfounded so they decide to move their shanty one more time. Just as they're about to drill they hear the voice again... there's no fish under the ice there. This time they yell back who is this? The voice replies, this is the arena manager!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde is drilling in the ice to fish when he hears a voice call out from above...
**There are no fish under the ice**
The guy looks up but doesn't see anyone. He asks - can I at least drill and see for myself?
The answers in a louder tone.
**There are no fish under the ice**
The poor guy looks up and still can't see anyone. He thinks to himself - maybe I'm just hearing voices. He continues drilling.
The voice bellows louder than ever!
**There are no fish under the ice**
Now the blonde begins to tremble as he asks - who speaks to me?
**The owner of the skating rink**
A blonde decided to go ice-fishing
...so she packed up all her gear and went ice fishing. She cut a hole and put the fishing line down the hole. After 15 minutes, after feeling nothing, she wasn't sure there would be a fish, so she prayed to her God, asking for a fish to please come bite her line. A few minutes later, a loud booming voice said: "THERE'S NO FISH THERE!" So she packed up her stuff and she found another spot. Again, she prayed for a fish to biter her line, but to no avail. Again, she heard a loud, booming voice, "THERE'S NO FISH THERE!" Still feeling hopeful, the blonde moved her stuff and cut a third hole in the ice. This time, without even praying, the loud booming voice said, "GET OFF THE ICE, THE GAME IS ABOUT TO START!"
Ice Fishing
A woman decides to go ice fishing. She walks out onto the ice and is about to start breaking the ice when a voice booms from above, "You will find no fish there." The woman heads off in another direction and is about to break the ice in a different area when again the voice says, "You will find no fish there." She goes to another area and a third time the voice tells her that there are no fish there. She looks up and asks, "Are you God?" The voice replies, "No, I'm the arena manager."
The Blonde And The Lord
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward! and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?"
The voice replied,
"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RING!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ice Fishing Blonde
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.
So the man c**... says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."
