Ice Fishing Jokes

26 ice fishing jokes and hilarious ice fishing puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about ice fishing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Ice Fishing Short Jokes

Short ice fishing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ice fishing humour may include short fly fishing jokes also.

  1. The most Canadian joke i know How did the newfie die of ice fishing?
    He got hit by the zamboni!
  2. Did you hear about the blonde that was killed while ice fishing yesterday? She was hit by a zamboni...
  3. Eskimo 1: "Where were you the whole morning?" Eskimo 2: "Ice fishing." "What did you get?" "Ice."
  4. I met a girl when I was ice fishing I couldn't get through to her at first, but then I broke the ice
  5. Went ice fishing yesterday. Caught over a hundred pounds... Unfortunately most of it melted by the time I got home.
  6. A man went ice fishing one day and reeled-in a giant ice cube After months of only catching fish, he finally caught a cold.
  7. I went ice fishing for the first time and I didn't do too well... All I caught was a cold!
  8. How do you capture a polar bear? Cut a big fishing hole in the ice. Wait for the polar bear to bend over the hole to fish. Then run up behind the polar bear and **kick it in the icehole!**

Share These Ice Fishing Jokes With Friends

Ice Fishing One Liners

Which ice fishing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ice fishing? I can suggest the ones about fishing and catching fish.

  1. How did the blonde die ice fishing? She was hit by a Zamboni
  2. Did you hear about the blonde who died ice fishing? She got run over by the Zamboni.
  3. I once tried ice fishing for the first time. Only bite was... _frost_.

Ice Fishing joke, I once tried ice fishing for the first time.

Ridiculous Ice Fishing Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about ice fishing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fishing pole jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ice fishing pranks.

A man goes ice fishing...

He takes out his ice pick and begins to hack away. Suddenly, he hears a booming voice from above say, "There are no fish there."
He moves to a new spot and begins again. Again comes the voice, There are no fish there either."
He tries a third spot, and again the voice informs him, "Not there either."
Frightened, the man calls out, "Is that you, God?"
"No," the voice booms, "I'm the rink manager."

A drunk Minnesotan decides to go ice fishing

He starts sawing a hole in the ice, but just then a booming voice says, "You will find no fish there."
The drunk ignores it and continues sawing. The voice repeats, "You will find no fish under the ice."
The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?"
The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."

Fishing secret

A guy is out ice fishing and he hasn't had a bite in hours, but the fellow next to him is pulling in fish after fish. Exasperated, the man finally approached the successful fisherman to find his secret.
"What's your secret buddy, I mean you've been pulling in fish left and right all day long."
"Ooo gahh takee darmns orm" the guy says.
"Ooo gahh takee darmns orm"
"I'm sorry, I just can't understand you."
"Oh...," he says and spits something in his hand.
"You've got to keep the worms warm."

Two guys were out on a lake ice fishing

One looks at the other and sees that he's got a pile of fish, and asks him,
"hey buddy, how'd you catch so many fish and I'm sitting here with nothing?"
"Eep or orms orm" the man grumbled
"Eep or orms orm!"
"Buddy, i got no clue what you're saying!"
The man spat in exasperation and said, "Keep your worms warm!"

The Voice

A guy decides to go ice fishing. He goes out on the ice and begins cutting a hole to drop his line through. Suddenly a loud, booming voice speaks from far above: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."⁠
Somewhat spooked, he moves to another spot and tries again. Once again, the deep voice from above: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
⁠Now the guy is thoroughly frightened. He looks up timidly and asks, "Is that you, Lord??"⁠ The voice replies, "NO! THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"

Keep 'em warm

Bob is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is about to leave, when a guy walks up cuts a hole in the ice beside him, and starts pulling out fish as fast a he can drop his hook in the water.
Bob can't believe it, he yells over " whats your secret?"
"woogatkakeptewrwm" he answers back.
"what did you say?" replies Bob.
The man spits a large ball of worms into his hand and says to Bob, " you have to keep your worms warm".

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time

All of a sudden, he hears a voice. There are no fish under the ice! He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: There are no fish under 
the ice!
He nervously looks up and asks, Lord? Is that you?
No, this is the rink manager!

Blonde goes ice fishing

A blonde decides to go ice fishing. She makes a hole in the ice and starts fishing.
Suddenly a voice from above says: There are no fish here.
Startled, the blonde looks around but doesn't see anybody. She shrugs and continues.
After a while the voice comes again: There are no fish here.
The blonde looks up and asks, Lord? Is that you?
The voice replies,"No, this is the ice-skating rink's maintenance manager. Seriously, there are no fish here.

A man wants to go ice fishing.

He goes onto the ice, drills a hole, and puts out his line.
Suddenly he hears a loud voice from above, saying 'THERE ARE NO FISH THERE.'
He gets up, a little confused, and moves to another spot on the ice, drilling another hole and throwing his line out again.
Once again, he hears: 'THERE ARE NO FISH THERE.'
Trembling, he looks up. 'A-Are you G-God?'

Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing.

As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice." Ole and Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, "There are no fish under the ice." They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, "Are you God?" The voice spoke back, "No ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant."


An ice fisher makes a hole in the ice, puts his fishing rod in and suddenly he hears a voice "There are no fish here".
So he moves a bit further away, makes another hold, puts his lure in and hears again "There are no fish here".
He looks up and asks "God? Is that you"
The voice grumbles "No, d**..., I'm the ice rink groundskeeper".

A Dumb Blonde goes Ice Fishing

They head out onto the ice with their bucket, fishing gear, and a big drill. As they put the drill bit on the ice surface, a voice booms out from all around:
The dumb blonde looks around fearfully and says meekly, "G-G-God? Is... Is that you?"
The booming voice replies:

A man went out a cold winter day

on the ice and started drilling a hole.
Theres no fish under the ice! a voice said. But the man just ignored it and continued to drill
Theres no fish under the ice! The voice said again. The man got nervous
Is it God speaking? He asked
No the is hockey coach. Now get out of the ice hockey hall!

Al, Ben, and Carl were fishing in the middle of a lake when Al fell overboard.

Ben jumped into the lake to rescue Al. When he finally found Al, he threw the body onto the boat and Carl pulled him up.
As soon as Ben was safely in the boat, he noticed that Al wasn't breathing, so he quickly gave Al mouth-to-mouth.
"Yuck!" said Ben. "I don't remember Al having such bad breath."
"Come to think of it," said Carl, "I don't remember him wearing ice skates either."

Oli and sven

One day Oli and Sven went out ice fishing. The started drilling into the ice and from above a voice boomed " there are no fish under the ice!"

Heeding the advice the duo moved about 20 Feet and started drilling again. Again the the voice boomed "there are no fish under the ice!"
Oli gazed up and asked "are you god?!"
"No" the voice said "I am the hockey rink manager!"

Ice Fishing joke, A man went ice fishing one day and reeled-in a giant ice cube

jokes about ice fishing