Ice Cube Jokes
91 ice cube jokes and hilarious ice cube puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ice cube that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ice Cube Short Jokes
Short ice cube jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ice cube humour may include short ice pick jokes also.
- I just melted an ice cube by staring at it. Took a bit longer than I thought it would, though.
- Parents in 1998: Don't believe everything you read on the internet Parents in 2018: Did you know that dogs will die if you feed them ice cubes?
- A man sees a blonde girl staring intently at a ice cube in her hand The man asks the girl why she's staring at the ice cube and she responds, "I'm trying to figure out where it's leaking from."
- An ice cube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. Bunsen... My flame...I melt whenever I see you," confessed the ice cube.
* Chill, it's just a phase you're going through. * - Cool Customers Two drunks are sitting at the bar staring into their drinks. 'hey cobber, you ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?'
'Yes, I've been married to one for 15 years'. - I can't decide between Star Trek popsicles or a Star Trek ice cube mold.. both choices have their frozen Khans.
- Life Pro Tip: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the kitchen floor, quietly kick it under the refrigerator. Soon it'll be water under the fridge.
- Someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine I'm confused... What is leftover wine??
- My mother woke me up with the sentence „Hey, we're getting new phones! I was happy, but not sure why I woke up in a bathtub full of ice cubes.
- Oftentimes i find myself putting ice cubes on my eyeballs. I think its because i wanna look cool.
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Ice Cube One Liners
Which ice cube one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ice cube? I can suggest the ones about icicle and iceberg.
- My father is cuban and my mother is from Iceland. So i am...... .....
an Ice Cube
Cred: Russell Peters - I don't understand why Ice Cube hates the police so much... They are a really good band
- If Ice Cube and snoop dogg adopted a child... they could call it Slush Puppy :)
- If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed
- How does Ice-Cube drink his milk? Straight Outta Carton.
- If a woman from Cuba marries a man from iceland Are their children called ice cubes?
- I Tried Snorting Coke once... ... but the ice cubes got caught in my nose.
- What's cool cool cool Ice cubed
- Ice Cube is 48 years old, but still hasn't melted. Do you know why? Man's not hot.
- Why did the ice cube drop out of highschool? It was too cool for school.
- Ice cubes are very badass I mean they float around their own blood
- How to make an ice cube melt faster? Talk to it and get into a heated argument
- What did an ice cube say to the fire. Tsssssssssssssssssssss
- What does problems and ice cubes have in common? Both go well with Alcohol.
- Skull shaped ice cubes are pretty cool Well, for a few minutes at least.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Ice Cube Jokes
What funny jokes about ice cube you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ice cold jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ice cube pranks.
Why are there no ice cubes in Poland? Because they lost the recipe.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three vampires walk into a bar...
The bartender asks the first vampire what he wants to drink. He replies, through a thick Transylvanian accent, "Warm blood." The bartender pulls a live rat out from under the bar, cleaves its head off, and drains the blood into a glass.
He asks the second vampire what he wants to drink, and he replies "Cold blood." The bartender pulls out another rat, chops off its head, and throws several ice cubes into the glass with the blood.
The bartender asks the third vampire what he wants to drink, and the vampire says "Water." The bartender is puzzled. "Don't you want blood?" he asks. The vampire says, "Oh, no, I'm making tea," and pulled a used t**... out of his jacket.
Blonde Inventions
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlight
Submarine screen door
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart board
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chair
Water proof tea bags
Zero proof alcohol
Reusable ice cubes
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
What's the difference between an ice cube and England?
An ice cube can stay in the cup for longer!
What kind of house does Ice Cube live in?
A Nigloo!
What's the difference between the Enola Gay and Ice Cube?
The Enola Gay only dropped one F-Bomb
I had the best ice cube
It's like it could melt in my mouth
Why wont Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
Because it's too cubed!
Ice Cube Should Open a Vietnamese Restaurant
called "pho the police!"
What happened to the ice cube?
It came straight outta Compton's glass.
Ice Cube visits Edgar Allen Poe
Wakes him up by rapping at his chamber door.
How do you give an ice cube an identity crisis?
Drop it like its hot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
you know what would be cool ?
" an ice cube ..
you know what would NOT be cool ? molesting children .. cause that would be really hot "
-an ice cream van driver .
What's Curley from *Of Mice and Men's* least favorite rap song?
*No Vaseline* - Ice Cube
When's the best time to rob Ice Cube?
Black Friday After Next
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gordon Ramsay walks into a bar...
... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"
Bartender: "Water."
Ramsay: "Fresh?"
Bartender: "No, frozen."
Ramsay: "Oh for f**...'s sake."
How did the ice cube react when it came into some hot water?
It had a meltdown
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Official Inauguration Drink - The Orange Russian
Make a white Russian, but use gold leaf in the ice cubes and Trump v**....
Claim it's made wrong,
Tell the Bartender " You're Fired"
Refuse to pay.
Ice Cube wrote a book about racist perceptions of other cultures in the western world
West Said!
A man went ice fishing one day and reeled-in a giant ice cube
After months of only catching fish, he finally caught a cold.
An ice cube decided to wear a new hat
A nice man saw this, and said to the ice cube: "Looking solid, dude!"
The ice cube absolutely melted at this sweet compliment.
Now he's looking liquid, dude.
What do Eskimos call Ice Cube?
Brick
I asked, "hey Ice Cube, where's my copy of Harry Potter?"
"Check your shelf"
wanted three ice cubes
but two had to suffice
Why are ice cubes so smart?
They have 32 degrees.
What's Ice Cubes least favorite sandwich?
A melt
My uncle always tells me I shouldn't snort coke
He says I'll get ice cubes stuck in my nose.
Ice Cube has sure come a long way from the rap world to family-friendly comedies...
All the way from "Keep it gangster" to "Keep it down in the back seat"
Life saving home remedies: if you ever find yourself choking on an ice cube.......
Quick drink a cup of boiling water
The rapper Ice Cube has gotten diagnosed with stage 1 cancer..
He's terminally chill
Did you hear about the criminal who was convicted and thrown in jail?
He asked for a glass of water and was served only ice cubes.
Just ice was served
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday, and I still haven't pooped it out...
I'm really concerned!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a homosexual Ice Cube?
Ice Sphere
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
r**... at the doctor
r**... at the doctor: Doc, I think I'm in trouble, I swallowed an ice cube 3 days ago and it ain't come out yet.
I went to a fancy dress party in a massive ice cube costume.
There were so many bodies there that I almost had a meltdown.
What did the melting ice cube say to the gherkin?
Water pickle
My girlfriend got mad at me when I dropped some ice cubes and kicked them under the refrigerator.
But now it's just water under the fridge.
What did the eye doctor say to Ice Cube?
O'Shea, can you see?
I went to see Funkmaster Flex perform last night but he was acting odd so Ice Cube stepped in for him.
Weird Flex but O'Shea.
I just realized I have a superpower
I can melt ice cubes just by staring at them.
It takes a while though.
What did the ice cube say to the glass of water?
I'm cooler than you
How can you tell that an ice cube didn't graduate from college in the US?
Because it has 0 degrees.
Also because it uses the Celsius scale.
Did you hear Ice Cube converted to Judeaism?
He changed his name to Ice Berg.
Did you ever hear the one about the ice cube's great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a very well thawed out plan
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know that choking on a single cube of water is i**... in some places?
It's referred to as an obstruction of just ice.
Iceberg
A couple icebergs in Antarctica are best friends. They grew up together and have known each other since they were ice cubes.
One iceberg decides he's tired of all the cold weather, he tells his best friend he's going on a warm vacation for a couple weeks. A couple weeks pass by and he returns to Antarctica. His best friend immediately takes notice of the amount of weight his friend lost while on vacation.
He says "you look amazing my friend, you really slimmed down! Was vacation everything you thawed it would be?"
I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee.
I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly.
At the window, there was a delay.
Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated.
"I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting."
Two depressed men are sitting at a bar drinking whisky
Suddenly one of them remarks: "Have you noticed the new ice cubes? They have a hole in the middle!"
"They're not new", the other one replies. "I have been married to one for 20 years!"
