JokoJokes

Ice Cream Jokes

176 ice cream jokes and hilarious ice cream puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about ice cream that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Ice Cream Short Jokes

Short ice cream jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ice cream humour may include short chocolate ice cream jokes also.

  1. A man is on is death sentence and he gets to choose his last meal He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life, they never found a working machine.
  2. I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. She said "Yes!". I said "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."
  3. I can't remember the name of that Italian dessert where you pour espresso over ice cream. I asked my Italian friend, but he couldn't remember either.
  4. I have a lactose intolerant friend who sells ice cream for a living. He can't take it, but he can dish it out.
  5. Tonight, while telling my grown children some dad jokes, my 34 y/o son hit me with… What's the difference between dad and an ice cream truck? The ice cream truck has Good Humor!
  6. How do you make a human corpse float? Two scoops ice cream, one scoop human corpse, and half a liter of root beer.
  7. I like my women like I like the mcdonald's ice cream machine… Sweet, cold and a little broken inside.
  8. A guy with a whimpering faint voice orders an ice cream... Vendor asks: "Crushed nuts?"
    Guy whimpers back: "No. Laryngitis."
  9. What do children and ice cream have in common? They're sweet but they sometimes give you a headache.
  10. What's the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend? One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.

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Ice Cream One Liners

Which ice cream one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ice cream? I can suggest the ones about vanilla ice cream and melted ice cream.

  1. I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I? McDonald's ice cream machine
  2. Bert: Hey Ernie, you want some ice cream? Sherbert.
  3. How do you make a whale float? Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a whale.
  4. Bert asks Ernie, "Ernie do you want to get ice cream?" Ernie responds "Sure Bert"
  5. Say, Ernie, want some Ice Cream? Sherbert
  6. Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.
  7. Why did little Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she was hit by a bus.
  8. What's the motto of an ice cream shop in paradise? Heaven ice day
  9. Why couldn't Neo eat his Ice cream? Because there is no spoon.
  10. Why did sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street? She got hit by a Bus.
  11. Chuck Norris went to Mcdonalds and the ice cream machine was working.
  12. Ernie, wanna go out for Ice Cream? Sure, Bert.
  13. What does a geneticist do to ice cream? Helix it!
  14. What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week? Sundae.
  15. Wanna know how you can make an elephant float? One elephant, two scoops of ice cream.

Ice Cream Cone Jokes

Here is a list of funny ice cream cone jokes and even better ice cream cone puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What rests on the ground between my feet and is covered in ants? My ice cream cone. =(
    *Inspired by actual events.
  • What do you call ice cream you eat in a car? A traffic cone!
  • Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He was run-over by a car.
  • How do tree's like their ice cream? In a pine cone.
  • what did the lactose intolerant man say after eating an ice cream cone? please excuse my dairy air
  • Where's the best place to store ice cream cones? Conetainers
  • What do you call it when two ice creams want to have a child Cone-ception
  • What does the ice-cream van man do to save his parking spot? Puts cones out.
  • Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series... I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself.
  • What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream? A large twist cone.

Ice Cream Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny ice cream day jokes and even better ice cream day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the day when Hagrid took Harry, mashed him up, put him in a blender with ice cream and drank him? Yer a Blizzard, Harry.
  • What did the ice cream say to the birthday girl? Go head girl it's sherbert day
  • One hot summer day on Sesame Street, Bert and Ernie are sitting on the stoop outside their apartment. Bert turns to Ernie and says, _"Want to go get some ice cream?"_
    Ernie replies, _"Sure Bert."_
  • I worked in one of those creepy ice cream vans over memorial day weekend, and I must say, they really do work. I raked in the Benjamins. Also got a couple Jacobs and Timothys as well.
  • What's the Ice Cream Man's favourite day of the week? ... Sundae
  • One day my dad went to buy me some ice-cream...
  • Transitional age is when during a hot day you don't know what you want – ice cream or beer.
  • How does 50 Cent sing to his ice cream? Go shawty
    It's sherbert day.
  • Boy, you make me like an ice cream cone on a hot day. Dripping.
Ice Cream joke, Boy, you make me like an ice cream cone on a hot day.

Vanilla Ice Cream Jokes

Here is a list of funny vanilla ice cream jokes and even better vanilla ice cream puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you make an elephant float? A can of coke, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and an elephant.
  • What's the difference between vanilla and French vanilla ice cream? Cowardice.
  • I once saw a ghost made of chocolate and vanilla Ice creamed
  • What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and French vanilla ice cream? Cowardice
  • What is Batman's least favorite ice cream? Vanilla Bane!
  • "I'd like two scoops of ice cream, please." "Chocolate or vanilla?"
    "Yes."
    "Yes what?"
    "Yes, Sir, ice cream man, Sir!"
  • I like my ice cream like I like my women. Plain vanilla, and hopefully if it lies around long enough it will get wet so I don't have to do much with my mouth.
  • What's Adam Ant's favourite flavour of ice cream? Standard Vanilla
  • Why do diners in Kansas put a red star next to Vanilla ice cream? to warn that it may be considered "too spicey" for the average customer
  • What do you call it when you study the Quran while eating a scoop of vanilla ice cream? Allah mode

Ice Cream Scoop Jokes

Here is a list of funny ice cream scoop jokes and even better ice cream scoop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you make a dead baby float ? Two scoops of ice-cream and one scoop of dead baby.
  • How do you make an elephant float? Take a cup and add root beer, two scoops of ice cream, and an elephant
  • How do you make a pig float? One cup pig, two scoops ice cream.
  • How does a Call of Duty player like their ice cream? With a 360 no scoop.
  • Do you prefer big spoon or little spoon? I prefer big spoon so I can get more ice cream per scoop as I cry to myself alone.
  • Did you hear about the reporter who investigated the ice cream company owner for fraud? He had the inside scoop
  • Michel J Fox walks into an ice cream parlor. He orders a large cone with two scoops what flavors does he choose? It doesn't matter he's just going to drop it anyway
  • How do you make a dead dog shake? 2 scoops ice cream, 1 scoop dead dog.
  • I went out for ice cream and asked for a scoop of Forbidden Chocolate. They said no.
  • What do you say to your waiter when they forget the scoop of ice cream with your pie? Remember the A la mode
Ice Cream joke, What do you say to your waiter when they forget the scoop of ice cream with your pie?

Cheeky Ice Cream Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about ice cream you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean strawberries and cream jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ice cream pranks.

I just explained Google images to my mum...

"Pick anything to search for" I told her.
"What about a nice cream pie?" She asked.
"Except that." I replied.

My wife said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?"

I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream."
She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"
I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream while m**...?"

Got the whole ice cream shop with this one:

While I was out with the family getting ice cream, the crowded shop had one of those awkward moments where everyone randomly goes quiet all at the same time - just as the confectioner handed me my ice cream.
I proceeded to ask Where does someone learn to make ice cream this good?
Confectioner - I'm not sure… the morning crew makes the batches
Did they learn at sundae school???
I could not have been prouder with the chorus of groans and chuckles that rang throughout the shop.

A young girl asks her father, Daddy what does the word 'corruption' mean?

- Bring me a beer and I'll tell you.
- But mummy says you shouldn't drink!
- Get a nice ice cream as well while you bring me beer.
- Oh, okay!

A penguin is driving to the mall...

All of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall.
He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic.
The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?"
The mechanic says, "Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream."

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.

AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.
The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, being a penguin, with flippers instead of hands, as well as a beak, he makes a huge mess and gets ice cream all over his face. h**... goes back to the garage, where the mechanic tells him "looks like you blew a seal."
"No," says the penguin. "That's just ice cream."

A penguin takes his car to the mechanic....

The mechanic tells him it'll take about an hour to fix. The penguin heads over to the 7-11 across the street to kill some time and have an ice cream. But because he has clumsy little flippers he gets the ice cream all over his beak.
When he goes back to the mechanic, the mechanic tells him, "well, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "no, that's just a bit of ice cream."

A lady walks into a dry cleaners...

...she's carrying a beautiful black dress. She tells the clerk, "I'll need to pick this up tomorrow."
The clerk, hard of hearing and distracted, innocently asks, "come again?"
Unfazed, she replies, "No. Vanilla ice cream this time."

Riding in car with hubby and 80-yo mom; mom asks why the US flag at Mickey Ds is…

…half staff. Without missing a beat, hubby says its because the ice cream machine is down. I facepalm as my mom asks when that became a thing. 🤦‍♀️

little Johnny

Was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "'Cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was l**... her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was s**... the cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."

A penguin is having car trouble...

A penguin is having car trouble, so he stops by a mechanic's shop for some repairs. He tells him he will need about an hour to find out what's wrong. The penguin walks downtown and it's a hot day, so he stops to get some ice cream. He doesn't have any arms to eat the ice cream with, so he just sticks his beak right into it. The penguin returns to the shop and the mechanic says "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies "Nah man, it's just ice cream."

Sunday Morning s**...

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having s**... would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the d**...." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

A penguin is driving....

down the street when his car starts sputtering. He pulls into the next mechanics shop and asks him to take a look. mechanic says it will be about an hour. While waiting the penguin decides to go next door to the malt shop and get an ice cream cone. an hour later the penguin goes back to the mechanic.
the mechanic looks at him and says "looks like you blew a seal".
"oh no I just had some ice cream" said the penguin wiping his face.

At a party, a wife admonished her husband.

That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Aren't you embarrassed?"
* Why should it? I keep telling them it's for you. *

The Answer Is Four (Teacher Joke)

Little Johnny was in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question…
Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny. The rest would fly away.
Well, the answer is actually four, said the teacher. But I do like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny quickly replies… Well, I have a question for you… Say you spot three women eating ice cream cones. One is l**... her cone, the second is biting her cone and the third is s**... her cone. Which one of these women is married?
Well, says the teacher nervously, I guess I'd say the one s**... the cone.
No, says Little Johnny. The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married. But I like the way you're thinking.

A lady walks into an ice cream shop.

"Can I get a chocolate scoop on a cone?" she asks.
"Sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream," says the man behind the counter.
"Oh, well then can I get a chocolate sundae?" she asks.
"We're out of chocolate," he repeats.
"Well, how about a chocolate milkshake?"
The man is frustrated at this point and decides to teach her a lesson.
"Ma'am, do you see the 'van' in vanilla?"
"Yes," she says.
"Do you also see the 'straw' in strawberry?"
"I do."
"Ma'am, do you see the 'frick' in chocolate?"
"There's no 'frick' in chocolate..."
"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"

What do you get when you have rough s**... in an ice cream parlour?

A sore bae.

A boy sees that his pet turtle isn't moving...

"Mommy, my turtle is dead," wailed the little boy to his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.
His mom said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in a tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a lovely burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for a yummy big ice cream, and then get you a great new pet, like a puppy!" Just then, she noticed the turtle move. "Look! Your turtle isn't dead after all!"
"Oh," said the little boy, "can we kill it?"

Another penguin joke. n**...

A penguin takes his car in to a mechanic, and the mechanic tells him it will be an hour until he is ready. So the penguin decides to get an ice cream cone.
Penguins don't have opposable thumbs let alone fingers so he ends up with ice cream all over himself.
Later, he returns to the mechanic who says"I found the problem. It looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, I just ate some ice cream."

A penguin was driving along...

A penguin was driving along when he smelled something burning. He took his car to a mechanic to get it checked out. The mechanic said "It'll be about an hour" so the penguin went walking around town. He stopped at an ice cream parlor and ordered a cone. The penguin tried eating the ice cream, but made a mess because of his flippers. He went back to the mechanic who had just got under his car. The mechanic rolled out from underneath and said "looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replied "no, it's ice cream".

A young lad enters a barber shop...

and the barber whispers to his customer, This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, Which do you want, son?
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
What did I tell you? said the barber. That kid never learns!
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?
The boy licked his cone and replied,
Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!

Little Johnny is in class...

The teacher asks the class, "there are 5 birds on the line, someone shoots one bird, how many are left?"
Johnny says none, because when the gun went off, there birds flew away. The teacher says, no there are 4 but I like the way you're thinking.
Johnny says ok teacher, there are 3 women sitting on a bench eating ice cream cones. The first one is lightly l**... the ice cream, the second is biting the ice cream and the third one gobbles the whole cone down. Johnny asks, which one is married? The teacher says, the one that gobbles the ice cream cone down? Johnny says, no, it's the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you're thinking.

Finger l**... Good

Little Timmy was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Timmy, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Timmy, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Timmy says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone."
"No," said Little Timmy, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

An older couple is watching tv...

And the man stands up and says, "I'm going to the kitchen. Do you want anything?"
His wife answers, "yes, please get me some chocolate ice cream with sprinkes."
The man starts to leave, when his wife says, "Honey, are you sure you don't want to write that down, your doctor said you may need to in order to remember."
"no, no, I'm sure I'll remember what you asked for."
A few minutes later, he returns with fried eggs and toast.
His wife says, "well, see, you did need to write that down. You completely forgot my bacon!"

In what way is ice cream like a first date?

You're a psychopath if you eat either at room temperature.

"Honey, do I look fat ?"

Asked the wife as she stood in front of the mirror.
"No, not at all..", the husband replied, "You look fabulous !!"
Wife, blushing, "Really ! Will you carry me to the fridge ? I want to eat some ice cream.. "
Husband, now visibly scared; "Don't you worry babe, just relax here ! I will just go get the fridge.. "

A penguin has some car trouble...

A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

A little Johnny...

One day in math class little Johnny's teacher asked him to look out the window, where three birds were sitting on a fence. She then asks "Johnny, if I shoot one of those birds how many are left?" Johnny replies "None, they would all have flown away when they heard the gun shot." The teacher smiles and says "The correct answer was two, but I like the way you think."
Johnny looks at the teacher and says "I have a question for you." "There are three women in an ice cream shop and they all have an ice cream cone, one is l**... it, one is biting it, and one is s**... it, which one is married?" The teach thinks about it a bit and says "The one s**... it." Johnny looks at her and say "The right answer was the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."

Whenever my Muslim roommate goes to pray, I sit next to him with some apple pie and ice cream.

Then both of us are in A La mode.

A penguin is driving his car when it starts making noise . . .

He takes it to the auto shop, the mechanic says it'll take about an hour. So he goes to the ice cream shop across the street. Penguins love ice cream. He comes back and the mechanic says, "it looks like you blew a seal." Penguin says, "No, its just ice cream."

johnny in the math class

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is l**... her ice cream, one is s**... her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one s**... her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

A penguin notices his car is leaking fluid...

so he takes it to the closest garage. Mechanic says he'll check it out, and to come back in a half hour. The penguin sees a Dairy Queen, strolls over, and buys himself a vanilla cone. Being a penguin, without hands, he makes quite a mess, getting ice cream all over himself. When he gets back to check on his car, the mechanic looks up, shakes his head, and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies, "Na, it's just ice cream."

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?

Why should it? answered her spouse. I keep telling them it's for you.

Arrows & Targets

A boy gets a bow & arrow for his 10th birthday. He walks outside and starts shooting his arrows. Later his father walks in on him and exclaims, "Wow each of these arrows landed in a target great job! Lets go out for ice cream!" So his father and he go out for the ice cream after it's finished his father asks, "how did you do it?" Then the son says, "It wasn't hard. I just shot arrows and drew circles around them."

So a penguin is driving along one day...

... and has engine trouble. So he stops at an autoshop and they get to work on his car. It's a rather hot day, so he walks over to the convenience story and buys an ice cream cone.
As he's finishing the cone, the mechanic walks over to him and says "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No no!" he cries, "It's just ice cream!"

Two 5 year old boys are in the hospital waiting to go into surgery. The first boy asks the other, "What are having done?"

"I'm having my tonsils taken out."
"Oh you're going to love it. I had that done last year and I got to eat ice cream for a week. Best week ever."
The second boy asks, "What about you?"
"Circumcision," the first boy replies.
The second boy responds, "I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for almost a year."

I went on a cruise once, and we were hit by a gigantic wave, and the boat sank.

I woke up on a sugar sand beach, with gigantic cotton candy clouds filling the sky, and the sea glistened under the setting sun like a pool of honey, next to me was a volleyball that looked like a marshmallow. Towering above me was a gigantic volcano that looked like an upside down ice cream cone.
It was then that my worst fears were realized, that I was trapped on a dessert Island.

Ice cream

A penguin was having car trouble and decided to take it in to the shop. When the mechanic told him it would be a while he decided to walk around and do some shopping. After a bit he stopped off for an ice cream cone. Finally, he heads back to the auto shop. "Looks like you blew a seal." says the mechanic. "no" replied the penguin, "it's just a little ice cream."

What do rats like on their birthday?

Mice cream and cake!
C'mon, you know the rules!!

So a woman is chasing down an ice cream truck...

... And the ice cream man stops and says, "What can I get for you, Ma'am?"
She says "Nothing, just wanted to tell you I'm vegan."

Joke of the day

Teacher: "Billy if  there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot 1, how many birds are left?"
Billy: "none the others flew away"
Teacher: "the awanser is 4 but I like the way you think"
Billy: "i have a question for you miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream.  1 l**..., 1 biting and 1 s**.... Which one is married?"
Teacher nervously awansers: the one s**...
Billy: the awanser is the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think

Ted Bundy and Jeffery d**... have dinner together

Ted: hey Jeff you got any ice cream in the freezer?
Jeffrey: nah, only Ben and j**...

A b**... is eating an ice cream

He has a sour look on his face. 'I wish I'd reach the stick already' he mumbles to himself.

Pregnancy Cravings...

My parents were recently discussing my pregnant cousin, who has been craving ice cream throughout here pregnancy, so I thought I'd ask my mother what she craved through her pregnancy.
"An abortion" wasn't the answer I was expecting.

A Penguin walked into a mechanic

Said, "there is an issue with my car." Mechanic said, "give me an hour I'll check it out, why don't you go across the street and get something to eat?"
The penguin walked across the street and ordered a large ice cream. Because of having no hands he just used his flippers. After about an hour the penguin walked back to the mechanic with the ice cream still all over his flippers and beak.
The mechanic said, "it looks like you blew a seal." Penguin said, "No no no! It's just ice cream."

I work at Ben & j**...'s, often late at night, but never get robbed.

Because ice cream.

A quantum physicist and his friend go out for ice cream.

"What's your favourite flavour?" asks the friend.
"Charm," replies the physicist.
His friend looks at him.
"Why is it that whenever I ask you a question," begins the friend, "your answer is always strange?"
"Well it's strange *now*," the physicist protests, "shouldn't have waited a picosecond."

At the Bee Prom...

A young bee nervously flies around hoping to grab a dance with the queen bee. Finally he musters up the courage and talks to her. She looks at him and says "I'll dance with you if you get me some fruit punch"
Excited, the bee zooms to get the punch. He sees the line for nachos, the ice cream machine, the honey line, but after hours of searching he realizes...
There is no punch line

It's a Saturday evening...

It's a Saturday evening. A man goes up to the register in a supermarket, bearing a six pack of beer, a bag of chips, some dip, a pint of ice cream, and toilet paper. The cashier says, "Single, huh?"
The man laughs and says, "Yeah, how can you tell?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."

I bought a CD of ice cream van music.

Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces..

Penguin experiencing car trouble

Hot summer day and Mr. Penguin's car breaks down. Takes it to the body shop, and Joe Mechanic tells him to give him half an hour to look it over, and then come back.
To kill some time, Mr. Penguin goes to the local ice cream parlor. After finishing his tasty, frosty treat, he goes back to the body shop.
"Well," says the mechanic, "looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," says the penguin -- "It's just ice cream."

I'm lactose intolerant and…

Last night, I decided to have ice cream, just for s**....

A young couple

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?
Why should it? answered her spouse. I keep telling them it's for you.

A old man walks into a McDonalds

He is bent over and shuffling slowly. He approaches the counter with great difficulty and orders an ice cream sundae.
The cashier asks "Crushed nuts?"
The old man replies, "No arthritis."

Bert and Ernie are at the beach on a hot summer's afternoon...

Bert pulls out his cooler and opens it up.
"Do you want some ice cream, Ernie?"
"Sure Bert."

A disabled kid goes out to the ice cream man...

...and says, "Mithster can I've an Icth Cream??" and the Ice Cream man says "Of course you can, what would you like on it? chocolate sauce?, strawberry sauce?, a flake?" and the kid replys "It doethn't matter, I'll jutht drop it anyway"

How do you make an elephant float?

Take one elephant, two tons of ice cream, and one ton of soda. Blend.

Ice Cream joke, How do you make an elephant float?

jokes about ice cream