Ian Does Jokes
45 ian does jokes and hilarious ian does puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ian does that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Ian Does Short Jokes
Short ian does jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ian does humour may include short don juan jokes also.
- Monday - Greg, Tuesday - Ian, Wednesday - Greg, Thursday - Ian, Friday - Greg, Saturday - Ian, Sunday - Greg The Gregorian calendar
- My new cat is obsessed with sitting on the calendar, so I took that as an inspiration for his name I'm still doubting between Greg or Ian
- "We call hard-drinking Ian an exorcist." "Why?" asks the bartender. "When he shows up, all the spirits disappear."
- The other day some guy came up to me, called me a Blockhead and then proceeded to hit me with his rhythm stick... I though "That just adds insult to Ian Dury."
- *From Ian Ross, not mine* - A mum was asked 'Why is your daughter crying?' 'She has five baked beans stuck up her nose.'
'And why is your son crying?'
'He wants his lunch back.' - Whoever says that "all publicity is good publicity" Has clearly never heard of Ian Watkins.
- A man said to me "hit me with your rhythm stick you four-eyed sod." That's just adding insult to Ian Dury.
- R.I.P. my bro I'll never understand why Mum and Dad called him Richard Ian with a surname of Peters.
Share These Ian Does Jokes With Friends
Ian Does One Liners
Which ian does one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ian does? I can suggest the ones about jong il and ding.
- How did Ian Fleming become so wealthy? By diversifying his Bonds!
- I have a friend who is half Indian. He's called Ian.
- What do you call a magician without the magic? Ian
- Im not sure who named the Gregorian calender ,probably some guy called Greg. Or Ian.
- How did Ian Malcolm's wife find out he was cheating? Wife, uh, finds a way.
- What kind of dog loves the internet? A cyber-ian husky!
- What language do fast talkers from Moscow speak? *Rush*ian!
- Hey Ian! I think you've lost an electron.
- Lying frog.... What do you call a lying frog?
An am"fib"ian - (Spoilers) Ian McShane in GoT I guess that makes him Deadwood.
- What do you call a guy named Ian who is good at magic tricks? A Magician.
- My friend Ian just arrived from Nigeria He prefers to be called Black Ian.
- Today, we say goodbye to a member of the gaming community. Rest in peace, Ian Parties.
- What happens when Ian stands next to neighbouring bars? We get a bar-bar-ian.
- What do you call a man who is half Indian? Ian.
Ian Does Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about ian does you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean joey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ian does pranks.
The Memory Man
A man from Liverpool, England was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Native American man sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face.
"Who's he?" asked the Liverpudlian.
"That's the Memory Man." said the bartender. "He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember every face he's ever seen. He can remember any fact he hears or reads. Go and try him out."
So the Liverpudlian goes over, and thinking he won't know about English football, asks "Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?".
"Liverpool" replies the Memory Man.
"Who did they beat?"
"Leeds" was the instant reply.
"And the score?"
"2-1."
"Who scored the winning goal?"
"Ian St. John" said the old man, without a hint of hesitation.
The Liverpudlian was knocked out by this and told everyone back home about the Memory Man when he got back.
A few years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Native American, only this time he was older and even more wrinkled.
The Liverpudlian approached him with the greeting "How".
The Memory man looked up and said, "Diving header in the six yard box".
For the Geeky Engineer drone...
So they put another engineer onto our team, His name is Ian Bradley, he is the guy that checks data flow down curcuits, making sure nothing is getting held up or slowed down.
I got an email from him the other day,
the header was
IanB.org
Resistors are Futile
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is Ian Thorpe gay?
He didn't like breast s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American and an Indian board a plane to LAX,
Indian sits next to American.
American asks: What kind of "ian" are you?
- What?
- I said What kind of "ian" are you?
- I don't understand your question.
- s**...! Are you Cambodian, Indian or Iranian?
- Oh! I am Indian.
2 hours passed without a word.
Indian asks: What kind of "key" are you?
- What?
- Are you a monkey, donkey, or Yankee?
CUT TO THE PAST
Ian is a barber and one day after servicing a haircut, a customer instead of money, gives him a crystal sphere and Ian, not wanting to argue and especially liking the sphere, accepts it.
He presses the Sphere and suddenly he's transported to ancient Egypt with all the scissor and blades in hand.
The Greeks spot him and yell 'BarberIan'.
Ian had a swollen nose
One day Joe went to see his friend Ian, and noticed he had a big swollen nose.
Whoa, what happened, lan? he asked.
I sniffed a brose, Ian replied.
What? Joe said. There's no 'b' in rose!
Ian replied, There was in this one!
Did you know the original Gregorian calendar had different months?
January = Greg
February = Ian
March = Greg
April = Ian
May = Ian
June = Greg
July = Ian
August = Greg
September = Greg
October = Ian
November = Greg
December = Ian