Hypocritical Jokes
9 hypocritical jokes and hilarious hypocritical puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hypocritical that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Hypocritical Jokes with Friends.
What is a good hypocritical joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate people who make generalisations. They're all hypocrites.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My parents don't understand my generation joking about committing s**... and said I wasn't allowed to...
Me: all my friends do it
Parents: if all you're friends jumped off a cliff would you do that too
Me: ok it's bad enough that you won't let me joke about it but you don't need to be a hypocrite
Overcrowded church
The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.
After a few moments, there were only three people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."
An atheist in the forest...
stumbles upon a bear. The bear rears up to attack and the atheist yells "oh god no!" time stops and he hears the voice of god say "you called for me my son?" the atheist responds "I would ask you to save me, but that would be hypocritical, so instead, can you make the bear a christian?" he hears "I shall do this for you my son". Time resumes and the bear stops, puts his paws together and says "God in the heavens.... thank you for this meal you have provided me with today, amen"
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"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." --career advancement program at my job
Then they fired me for violating the dress code at the bank. Hypocrites. How am I ever going to become a sumo wrestler now?
I told my dad I want to marry my grandma.
He said: "No way, you cannot possibly marry my mother!"
But him marrying my mother was totally ok? What a hypocrite.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are Three Types of People I Hate
Racists, b**..., and Hypocrites.
Who does a hypocrite really hate?
A hypocrite!
If there is Three types of people who I hate...
It's people who can't count
and hypocrites
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