Hypocrite Jokes

33 hypocrite jokes and hilarious hypocrite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hypocrite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Hypocrite Short Jokes

Short hypocrite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hypocrite humour may include short cheater jokes also.

  1. I told my dad I want to marry my grandma. He said: "No way, you cannot possibly marry my mother!"
    But him marrying my mother was totally ok? What a hypocrite.
  2. My grandad said us teenagers rely to much on technology So I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support
  3. If there is Three types of people who I hate... It's people who can't count
    and hypocrites
  4. My best friend says I'm schizophrenic I say he's a hypocrite. Especially since I don't exist
  5. There are 2 things I hate in this world: (1) People who put animal names in words... ...and (2) Hypocrites
  6. My school are such hypocrites. They promote recycled paper themselves... but when I do it? When I recycle papers, suddenly it's "plagiarism".
  7. My dog is vegan but he is kind of a hypocrite about it. He has a fur coat that he always wears.
  8. What do you call hypocrite , autistic , cringy , lying delusional human beings ? Youtubers (90%)
  9. Jesus was such a hypocrite Preaches waiting for marriage and all that. Meanwhile he just goes and gets nailed 3 times in one day.
  10. I hate it when people make posts calling out about their cakeday I also hate it when they call me a hypocrite

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Hypocrite One Liners

Which hypocrite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hypocrite? I can suggest the ones about double standards and dishonest.

  1. I hate people who make generalisations. They're all hypocrites.
  2. Who does a hypocrite really hate? A hypocrite!
  3. If there are three things I cannot tolerate It's women, sexists, and hypocrites.
  4. I hate two types of people... haters and hypocrites.
  5. I hate three things 1. Haters
    2. Lists
    3. Hypocrites
  6. What do you call an equation with no solution? A hypocrite.
  7. The U.S is so hypocritical Claims to be a republic, yet uses the imperial system...
  8. Hypocrite walks into a bar...... "I'll have a standard, please. Make it a double."
  9. Hello and welcome to Hypocrite's Anonymous. What's your name?
  10. 2 Types of People I Hate 1) People who make lists.
    2) Hypocrites
  11. Why didn't the doctor take his own advice? Because he took a hypocritic oath.
  12. There are types of people I despise... Racists, Hypocrites and Jews
  13. I'm fine with being hypocritical... I just don't like when other people are.
  14. I hate people who use stereotypes... They're usually hypocrites.
  15. There are 2 things I hate in this world People and hypocrites

Hypocrite joke, There are 2 things I hate in this world

Fun-Filled Hypocrite Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about hypocrite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ironic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hypocrite pranks.

My parents don't understand my generation joking about committing s**... and said I wasn't allowed to...

Me: all my friends do it
Parents: if all you're friends jumped off a cliff would you do that too
Me: ok it's bad enough that you won't let me joke about it but you don't need to be a hypocrite

Overcrowded church

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.
After a few moments, there were only three people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

An atheist in the forest...

stumbles upon a bear. The bear rears up to attack and the atheist yells "oh god no!" time stops and he hears the voice of god say "you called for me my son?" the atheist responds "I would ask you to save me, but that would be hypocritical, so instead, can you make the bear a christian?" he hears "I shall do this for you my son". Time resumes and the bear stops, puts his paws together and says "God in the heavens.... thank you for this meal you have provided me with today, amen"

"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." --career advancement program at my job

Then they fired me for violating the dress code at the bank. Hypocrites. How am I ever going to become a sumo wrestler now?

There are Three Types of People I Hate

Racists, b**..., and Hypocrites.

Why is the f**... such a hypocrite?

because it doesn't have mushroom to talk.

Hypocrite joke, What do you call hypocrite , autistic , cringy , lying delusional human beings ?