Husband Wife Argument Jokes

A couple just had their first son , the husband is half irish and half Indian , the wife half chinese and half Italian both wishes to have their son name after their heritage ..

After much argument they decided on the name.
Ravi O'Lee

Husband and wife having an argument

Husband and wife are having an argument and the wife says "It would have been better if I married to the devil instead of you!". The husband looks at his wife and goes "That's inbreeding."

A maintenance matter

A husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room, "Please come fast I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump out the window of your hotel."

The manager responded, "Sir that's a personal matter."

The husband responded, "Idiot, the window won't open! That's a maintenance matter!"

Smart waitress

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

A woman and her husband were arguing over the current precipitation...

The woman insisted it was drizzling outside while her husband said that really, it was just misting.
They decided that the argument would be settled by asking their elderly former soviet neighbor Rudolf.
Rudolf grimaced at the sky for a moment and held up a hand to catch some of the falling moisture. "It is drizzle," he declared.
The husband, a little put out by losing the argument, complained. "And why are we accepting our neighbors judgement?"
"Because," the wife replied, "Rudolf the red knows rain, dear."

A couple were having an argument

Angry Wife: "I should have married the Devil... He would make a better husband than you!"
Husband: "Honey, you would have been arrested!! Marriage between relatives is i**... in this country!" ...

Husband and wife walk home silently after a strong argument.

Suddnely, they see two pigs on the side of the road.
Husband just asks: Hey, I think I've seen them already, aren't they your relatives?
The wife answes: Yes, you are correct. My parents-in-law.

Arguing couple

A married couple drove down a country road for several miles, sitting in silence. An earlier discussion led to an argument in which neither would concede their position.
As they passed by a barnyard full of mules, pigs, and goats, the husband sarcastically asks: "Relatives of yours?"
'Yup,' the wife promptly replies. 'In-laws'

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

An italian couple got into an argument

Wife: How can you not remember my birthday? We've been married for 40 years!
Husband: Well the same thing happened last year, and you told me to forget about it.

A couple was having a quarrel in a lodge...

The man calls the manager and says, "I'm having an argument with my wife, and now she wants to jump out the window please come fast!"
The Manager angrily responds, "I am sorry sir this is your personal issue, please do not waste my time again."
The Husband replies back, "The window is not opening. This is not a personal issue, this is a maintenance issue."

A Second Opinion

A husband and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. You aren't so good in bed either! he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. What took you so long to answer?
I was in bed. What were you doing in bed this late? Getting a second opinion.

Family Matters

A husband and wife are on a long car trip and get into a big argument that eventually ends in an angry silence.
Some time later they pass a pig farm. The husband looks at the pigs and says, "Family of yours?"
The wife replies, "Yup, in-laws."

A couple gets into an argument...

The next day when the wife comes home, she sees her husband has covered himself in oil.
"What are you doing?"
"Well," he says, "Yesterday you told me I never glisten."
*"Listen,"* the wife says exasperatedly. "You never *listen!"*

Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper.
Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..."
Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach.
Husband faints.
Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in office, not at home.

Husband: Calls up hotel manager and says " My wife & I are having an argument and now she wants to jump through the window, come help me"

**Manager :** Sir this is your personal issue and I can't help with the argument.
**Husband:** Dude, the window doesn't open, isn't that maintenance issue?

A man and his wife just had an argument, and are very angry with each other.

The man is driving his wife to a family gathering when they suddenly see a herd of pigs crossing the road in front of them. Seizing the chance, the husband cheerily asks:
- "Hey, look! Are they some relatives of yours?
And his wife quickly replies,
- "Yeah, my parents-in-law!"

Rudolph the Russian visits New York

His host and wife take him out to dinner. On the way it begins to lightly rain, the wife says Oh look it's snowing! Rudolph replied, no it's rain. The wife again says, It's snow! The husband getting embarrassed settled the argument saying, Rudolph the red knows rain dear.

Joke told by my pastor

There was a couple riding in a car together, arguing. Neither wanted to concede the argument, so they didn't stop. Eventually, they both got tired out, and settled into an angry silence.
A few miles down the road, they passed a barn full of the most disgusting pigs and cows imaginable. The angry wife sniped at her husband, "Are those part of your family?"
The husband responded, "Yes, they're my in-laws."