Husband Wife Argument Jokes
17 husband wife argument jokes and hilarious husband wife argument puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about husband wife argument that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Husband Wife Argument Short Jokes
Short husband wife argument jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The husband wife argument humour may include short husband wife fighting jokes also.
- During an argument with her husband, a wife was just about to calm down. But then her husband asked her to calm down...
- In a furious argument, the wife tells her husband... - I should have married the devil instead of you!
- Well, that's impossible. Marriage between cousins is forbidden! - A man and his wife have an argument which ends in a fight Husband: So disappointing, it finished less than a minuet after it started
Wife: Now you know how I feel.
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Husband Wife Argument Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about husband wife argument you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean husband wife relation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make husband wife argument pranks.
A couple just had their first son , the husband is half irish and half Indian , the wife half chinese and half Italian both wishes to have their son name after their heritage ..
After much argument they decided on the name.
Ravi O'Lee
Husband and wife having an argument
Husband and wife are having an argument and the wife says "It would have been better if I married to the devil instead of you!". The husband looks at his wife and goes "That's inbreeding."
A maintenance matter
A husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room, "Please come fast I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump out the window of your hotel."
The manager responded, "Sir that's a personal matter."
The husband responded, "Idiot, the window won't open! That's a maintenance matter!"
Smart waitress
A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning....
The wife claims, "You should do it, because you get up first and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband says, "You are in charge of cooking around here so you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
The wife replied, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should make the coffee."
The husband replied, "I can't believe that; show me!"
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........
"HEBREWS"
A woman and her husband were arguing over the current precipitation...
The woman insisted it was drizzling outside while her husband said that really, it was just misting.
They decided that the argument would be settled by asking their elderly former soviet neighbor Rudolf.
Rudolf grimaced at the sky for a moment and held up a hand to catch some of the falling moisture. "It is drizzle," he declared.
The husband, a little put out by losing the argument, complained. "And why are we accepting our neighbors judgement?"
"Because," the wife replied, "Rudolf the red knows rain, dear."
An italian couple got into an argument
Wife: How can you not remember my birthday? We've been married for 40 years!
Husband: Well the same thing happened last year, and you told me to forget about it.
A Second Opinion
A husband and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. You aren't so good in bed either! he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. What took you so long to answer?
I was in bed. What were you doing in bed this late? Getting a second opinion.
A couple gets into an argument...
The next day when the wife comes home, she sees her husband has covered himself in oil.
"What are you doing?"
"Well," he says, "Yesterday you told me I never glisten."
*"Listen,"* the wife says exasperatedly. "You never *listen!"*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper.
Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..."
Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach.
Husband faints.
Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in office, not at home.
Joke told by my pastor
There was a couple riding in a car together, arguing. Neither wanted to concede the argument, so they didn't stop. Eventually, they both got tired out, and settled into an angry silence.
A few miles down the road, they passed a barn full of the most disgusting pigs and cows imaginable. The angry wife sniped at her husband, "Are those part of your family?"
The husband responded, "Yes, they're my in-laws."
A man gets in a fight with his wife
A man gets in an argument with his wife during dinner. After the meal, the husband furiously runs down to their wine cellar and opens a bottle of vintage wine. Magically, a genie comes out of the bottle and says "You have freed me. You now have three wishes. But you should know, whatever you wish for, your wife will get double."
The man says "I understand. My first wish will be a large beach house."
The genie snapped his fingers and said "Your new beach house is waiting for you. But your wife now has two beach houses right next to yours."
"That's fine" the man said. "How about a nice sports car?"
The genie snapped his fingers and said "Your brand new sports car is in your garage. But your wife now has two sports cars. You have one more wish."
The man thought and thought about what his last wish should be. After a few hours of thinking, he stood up and told the genie "I wish you would beat me half to death."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a wife and husband are taking a trip to...
a husband and wife wanted to take a trip somewhere. after much argument, they decided to go to Hawaii. on the flight there, they were arguing about the pronunciation of the word Hawaii. the wife insisted, "it's pronounced havaii." the husband argued, " NO! its hawaii!" they both agreed to ask the first person they see after they get off the plane.
when they get off, they ask a man the name of the island. the man replies "havaii." "I TOLD YOU!" the wife gloats. "thank you, sir!" she smirks. the man tips his hat and replies "you're velcome."
EDIT-got help from my brother. i s**... at writing.
Coffee Dilemma
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee".
The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says:
"HEBREWS"