Husband Buddy Jokes
7 husband buddy jokes and hilarious husband buddy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about husband buddy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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What is a good husband buddy joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The difference between a man and a woman's friends.
A wife did not come home one night and the next day the husband was furious. She swore she spent the night at a girlfriend's house.
The husband called 10 of his wife's closest friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.
To get her back he did not come home the next night. The next day his wife met him at the door furious at him. He swore he spent the night at his buddy's house.
She called 10 of his closest friends. 8 of them confirmed that he spent the night at their house, two of them swore that he was still there sound asleep.
What's Ellen Pao's husband's favourite web plugin?
Ponzi Buddy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man Raises a Toast at the Bar
He toasts, "Here's to spending the rest of my life between my wife's legs!" The crowd hoops and hollers and declares that he won Toast of the Night.
Man goes home and says, "Honey! Honey! I won Toast of the Night!"
"That's great dear!" Says his wife. "What did you toast?"
"Here's to spending the rest of my life going to church with my wife!"
Next day, Wife is out in town and runs into one of her husband's bar buddies. The buddy snickers and asks if she heard what her husband toasted last night.
"Yes, and I think it's a bit odd he'd toast that. It's only ever happened twice. The first time he fell asleep, and the second time I had to y**... his ear to make him come."
When you die and you're in your casket and friends and family are mourning you...
Three friends are sitting in a bar drinking, when one turns to the others and asks, "When you die and you're in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy thinks and says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." He turns back to his buddy, who asked the question, "What about you?"
The guy snorts, "I want them to say, 'MY GOD, HE'S STILL ALIVE!!'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys
Two guys are at the bar, o**... drinks 2 beers then tells his buddy he has to go home his wife only let's him have 2 beers. His buddy tells him that's messed up and here is what he should do, drink as many beers as he can, 5 whiskeys and a bourbon. Then go home and dive under the covers and eat out his wife's p**......she won't care what time you come home or how much you have had to drink if you do that.
He thinks about it for a minute then decides it's a great plan. So he gets drunk goes home dives under the covers and goes to town, after about 10 minutes he thinks she should be happy, but his wife won't kiss him until he washes his face. So he opens the door to the bathroom and there is his wife sitting in the tub.
The husband starts stuttering and carrying on confused. When his wife shushes him and tells him to be quiet...or he will wake his mother.
"Fifty Bucks is Fifty Bucks" reminded me of this one.
A man and his wife were driving from New York to California. Along the way the wife would find every little thing wrong with her husband's driving.
"You're driving too fast." "You missed that exit." "You're tailgating."
This went on throughout the trip. As their car crossed the border into Colorado, a cop flashed his lights and the man pulled over. The cop walks up to the driver's side and the man rolls down his window.
"Hey, Buddy, didn't you notice your wife fell out of the car about a quarter-mile back?"
The man said to the cop: "Thank God, I thought I went deaf."
A husband and wife are playing a round of golf..
On the 18th hole the husband slices his ball to the right and lands in front of a barn. The husband asks his wife to open up the barn door so he could hit it through the barn and onto the green. The husband then shanks his shot, which hits his wife in the head and immeidately kills her.
5 years later the man is approached by his buddies who want him to get back into golf. The man hesitantly agrees. They end up playing the same course as the incident and the man hits his drive to the same spot on the 18th hole. One of his buddies says "I can go up there and open up the barn door, so you can hit it through onto the green". The man slowly and emotionally replies "I can't, I just can't. Last time I tried to hit that shot..... I got a triple bogey"
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