Hurtful Jokes
34 hurtful jokes and hilarious hurtful puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hurtful that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn how hurtful jokes can affect people in different ways and what you can do to ensure that your jokes don't cause pain to anyone. Understand how they differ from the harmless jokes and how they could cause deep-seeded pain and how to deal with it. Get tips on how to handle hurtful jokes and handle them in a healthy way.
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Funniest Hurtful Short Jokes
Short hurtful jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hurtful humour may include short hurting jokes also.
- Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
- My dentist told me "This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?" I said "Yes, I'm ready."
He said "I'm sleeping with your wife." - Growing up, my dad said we should treat him like a god... ...so we pretty much ignored him until we were sick, hurt, or broke.
- My friend told me I make him feel uncomfortable because I violate his personal space... It was a very hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.
- Doctor : Does it hurt? Mother : Yes, a lot.
Doctor : So are we vaccinating the baby, or should I slap you again? - "Hurt me!" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively... "Alright," I said. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."
- Losing my virginity was like my first football game. It hurt a lot but at least my dad came.
- One of my friends told me I make people uncomfortable by often invading people's personal space I found this really hurtful, it completely ruined our bath
- What do pigs use when they get hurt? Oink-ment
(My 7 year old made this up and wanted me to share!) - Dentist: This will hurt. Patient: OK.
Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife since last year.
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Hurtful One Liners
Which hurtful one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hurtful? I can suggest the ones about harmful and hurts.
- What's yellow and hurts if you get it in you eye? A bulldozer
- My brother's daughter and I fell down on hard pavement My knees hurt
- My dentist is a really mean guy He always hurts my fillings.
- So you know how things hurt less when you swear? I call it Ibuprofanity
- Why did the Redgaurd's toe hurt? His Hammerfell
- Dentist: This is gonna hurt a little. Me: Ok. Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom.
- OC from my 10 yr old son: Why do women like roses? Because they are pretty and hurt you.
- Mickey mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!" Doctor: Which knee?
Mickey: Disney - How bad does it hurt to get a finger cut off? I'd say about a 9 out of 10
- Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks (please don't hurt me)
- What is the best way to hurt someone with words? Hit him with a dictionary.
- You know what hurts my feelings? Nerve damage
- Did you hear about the fire at the bakery? No one was hurt but business is toast.
- Why couldn't the skeleton hurt itself? Because it didn't have the nerves.
- Why do we cry..... When it's the onions that are being hurt?
Hurtful Fat Jokes
Here is a list of funny hurtful fat jokes and even better hurtful fat puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It wasn't when the bully called me a big fat doughboy that hurt as much as the punch in my stomach. It left a big impression.
- I fingered a fat girl last night She said it was hurting and asked if I could take my ring off.
I agreed, but didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't wearing a ring, it was my watch. - Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.
- Calling me fat doesn't hurt my feelings I have thick skin
- An ant called me fat and s**...! I'm not that hurt though. I know it was just a microagression.
Hurtful Emo Jokes
Here is a list of funny hurtful emo jokes and even better hurtful emo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A few weeks ago, my emo friend told me his heart was hurting. So, I told him to cut it out. Haven't seen him for a while.
- I tried being emo once But it hurt
Hilarious Hurtful Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about hurtful you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hurt feelings jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hurtful pranks.
I shouldn't make jokes at the expense of my anti-vax neighbours so much...
They tend to get offended by those hurtful little jabs
My friend said that I make people uncomfortable by invading their personal space.
It was a very hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Well, some people think its 'R', but that's just a hurtful stereotype.
Other people say that their true love is the 'C' which I can certainly understand...
But I find that it's actually the letter 'P', cause without it they're just irate.
Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?
"Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?"
"No- wait, Dracula?"
"Yes!"
"You're vampires?"
"Yes. We have pamphlets."
"Vampires have missionaries?"
"Where else would new vampires come from?"
"I assumed you bit people."
"There are many hurtful stereotypes. May we come in?"
Vampire missionaries
"Hello, do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?"
No. Wait..."Dracula" Dracula?
"Yes!"
So you're vampires?
"Yes. We have pamphlets"
Vampires have missionaries now?
"How else would we get new vampire members?"
But don't you just like, bite people?
"That's a hurtful stereotype sir. **May we come in?**"
Some of my friends have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves...
...but I don't like to point fingers...
Yesterday, one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.
It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say, and quite frankly, it completely ruined our bath.
A nobleman said some hurtful things to me while I was buying groceries at half price.
It was a diss count.
No more Polish jokes folks.
All these Polish jokes here are very hurtful. Yesterday my friend who is Polish had read enough and tried to commit s**... by jumping out his basement window.
