Hurriedly Jokes
31 hurriedly jokes and hilarious hurriedly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hurriedly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hurriedly Short Jokes
Short hurriedly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hurriedly humour may include short hastily jokes also.
- A coma in a sentence can literally change everything. For example: *Ben is in a hurry.*
*Ben is in a coma.* - Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance:
"Ben is in a hurry."
"Ben is in a coma." - Alex Trebek died shortly after Sean Connery. He had to hurry and get to heaven before Connery found his Mother.
- A wife was dreaming... Suddenly she wakes up and yells "Quick get out my husband's home!" her husband hurriedly wakes up and jumps out the window.
- If you're ever in a hurry... Put your fidget spinner on your dash, then just use the handicapped parking.
- Pregnant lady's food stuck in vending machine Her: My food is stuck in the vending machine, can you help? I'm pregnant and I need to eat!
Me: You sure do! - Two tomatoes are walking across the road when a car drives over one of them.
the other turns around and says "Hurry up ketchup!"
- I was in the Post Office queue yesterday when Diana Ross tried to push in. I said You can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait...
- What is wind? Air in a hurry.
(My godmother told me that this joke back in 1930s used to be a sure fire starter) - If I could say one thing to my late father, it would be this: Hurry up, dinner's getting cold.
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Hurriedly One Liners
Which hurriedly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hurriedly? I can suggest the ones about rushed and quickly.
- Why is Putin in such a hurry to get into ukraine? Because he's always Russian.
- If slow old men use walking sticks, what do fast old men use ? Hurry canes.
- My daughter made this tonight: What's the favourite song of sloths? Don't Hurry, Be Happy
- What does a meteorologist use to walk quickly? A hurry cane
- Customer: Waiter, I'm in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long? Waiter: No sir, round.
- What goes "quick, quick"? Duck in a hurry.
- Does the five-second rule apply to soup? Please hurry.
- what do you call a communist in a hurry? A soviet rushin!
(wackady shmackady doo) - Why are unemployed doctors always in such a hurry? Because they don't have any patients
- What's the fastest natural disaster? A Hurry-cane
- What do you call a dinosaur that's in a hurry? A Prontosaur.
- What do cats cook for dinner when they're in a hurry? Minute Mice
- Why was the comrade in a hurry? Because he was Russian
- What does a squid say when it's in a hurry? Lets get Kraken
- Where do people who are always in a hurry go on vacation? Russia.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Hurriedly Jokes
What funny jokes about hurriedly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean urgently jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hurriedly pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An 88-year old man came to the hospital and said to the doctor, Doctor, my 18 year old wife is pregnant with my child.
The doctor paused and said, There was a master bear shooter in a village. He never missed a shot.
But one day he was in a hurry, and took his umbrella instead of his rifle by mistake.
When he encountered a bear, he still didn't realize his mistake and pointed the umbrella and shot the bear.
The bear lay dead with a bullet in his heart!
The old man said, That's s**...! The bullet must have been shot by another person.
That's exactly right, said the doctor.
My wife shouted at me to go out and find her some tampons, quick!
So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst in through the front door, ran up the stairs, slammed open the bathroom door and shouted, "Walmart, halfway down aisle 10, bottom shelf!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
«I'm sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you keep him busy in church for an hour after service for me?»
Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees. After the service, Mike asks the minister all sorts of s**... questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to. Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses, "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, and he asked me to keep you occupied."
The minister thinks for a minute, smiles, puts a fatherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says, "You should hurry home now. My wife died a year ago."
A priest is walking through Kings Cross (a rough area of town), when a woman approached him and says
"Do you want a naughty? 200 bucks."
"Certainly not," he mutters and hurries on. Soon he passed near another woman who says "$200 for a naughty. Interested?"
"No thank you," he replies flusteredly.
As he comes near a third woman she again offers him a naughty for $200, which he of course refuses. Arriving back at the abbey, he happens upon the Mother Superior. Curiosity gets the better of him and he asks, "Mother...er...what's a naughty?
She replies "Two hundred dollars, just like in Kings Cross."
Two blondes are locked out of their car...
The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"
Bruce Willis, arnold schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party
and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".
Former president Clinton
Walks into a dry cleaner with a suit,
"I'm in a hurry can I get this by 3 today?"
The clerk, preoccupied, quickly looked up and asked "come again?"
"No, it was mustard this time."
My dad just called a family meeting.
Me, mum, my two brothers, my sister and grandma hurried into the living room and gathered round an IKEA box laying on the floor.
"Dad, it's some flat pack furniture, what do you need the whole family for?" I asked.
"Well, it must be these strange Swedish customs", he replies, "It says assembly required".
My wife's pregnant
90yr man: My 18yr wife is pregnant,your opinion doc?
Dr: Let me tell you a story. A hunter in a hurry, grabs an umbrela instead of the gun. He moves into the jungle, and sees a lion, lifts the umbrela, pulls the handle and BANG, The lion drops dead!
Old man: That's is impossible, sumone else must have shot the lion!
Dr: EXACTLY!!
The man says to the bartender...
"Gimme twelve shots of your finest whiskey, and fast!"
The bartender lines up a dozen shot glasses and as he fills them, the man starts to down them one after the other.
Shocked, the bartender asks, "What's the hurry, buddy?"
Between shots, the man replies, "You'd drink fast too, if you had what I've got."
Concerned, the bartender asks kindly, "What have you got, brother?"
The man downs the last shot and puts all his money on the table. "Fifty cents!"
A married couple is getting ready to go out for the evening. The husband is in the shower and the wife is just getting out of the bathtub when the doorbell rings.
The wife hurriedly wraps herself in a towel and answers the door. It's their neighbor, Bob. Bob looks at the wife, who is quite beautiful, and says, I'll give you $800 to let that towel drop. The wife thinks about if for a bit, then lets the towel fall. Bob gives her a thorough visual inspection, then reaches into his wallet and hands her $800. She goes back inside. Who was at the door, honey? asks the husband. Oh, it was our neighbor Bob, she says. Great, says the husband. Did he happen to mention the $800 he owes me?
