Hurriedly Jokes
31 hurriedly jokes and hilarious hurriedly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hurriedly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hurriedly Short Jokes
Short hurriedly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hurriedly humour may include short hastily jokes also.
- A coma in a sentence can literally change everything. For example: *Ben is in a hurry.*
*Ben is in a coma.* - Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance:
"Ben is in a hurry."
"Ben is in a coma." - How do you get 100 Canadians out of a swimming pool in a hurry? Say: "Would everyone please get out of the swimming pool."
- Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example,
Ben is in a hurry.
Ben is in a coma. - Comas can change the meaning of a sentence. For example:
"Donald is in a hurry."
"Donald is in a coma." - Alex Trebek died shortly after Sean Connery. He had to hurry and get to heaven before Connery found his Mother.
- A wife was dreaming... Suddenly she wakes up and yells "Quick get out my husband's home!" her husband hurriedly wakes up and jumps out the window.
- What did the doctor say to the short guy in a hurry? You're going to have to be a little patient.
- If you're ever in a hurry... Put your fidget spinner on your dash, then just use the handicapped parking.
- Pregnant lady's food stuck in vending machine Her: My food is stuck in the vending machine, can you help? I'm pregnant and I need to eat!
Me: You sure do!
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Hurriedly One Liners
Which hurriedly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hurriedly? I can suggest the ones about rushed and frantically.
- Why is Putin in such a hurry to get into ukraine? Because he's always Russian.
- If slow old men use walking sticks, what do fast old men use ? Hurry canes.
- My daughter made this tonight: What's the favourite song of sloths? Don't Hurry, Be Happy
- What does a meteorologist use to walk quickly? A hurry cane
- Customer: Waiter, I'm in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long? Waiter: No sir, round.
- What goes "quick, quick"? Duck in a hurry.
- Does the five-second rule apply to soup? Please hurry.
- what do you call a communist in a hurry? A soviet rushin!
(wackady shmackady doo) - Why are unemployed doctors always in such a hurry? Because they don't have any patients
- What's the fastest natural disaster? A Hurry-cane
Credit to my nine year old. - Commas can really change a sentence For example:
John is in a hurry
John is in a coma - What do you call a dinosaur that's in a hurry? A Prontosaur.
- What do cats cook for dinner when they're in a hurry? Minute Mice
- Why was the comrade in a hurry? Because he was Russian
- What does a squid say when it's in a hurry? Lets get Kraken
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Hurriedly Jokes
What funny jokes about hurriedly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quickly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hurriedly pranks.
An 88-year old man came to the hospital and said to the doctor, Doctor, my 18 year old wife is pregnant with my child.
The doctor paused and said, There was a master bear shooter in a village. He never missed a shot.
But one day he was in a hurry, and took his umbrella instead of his rifle by mistake.
When he encountered a bear, he still didn't realize his mistake and pointed the umbrella and shot the bear.
The bear lay dead with a bullet in his heart!
The old man said, That's s**...! The bullet must have been shot by another person.
That's exactly right, said the doctor.
My wife shouted at me to go out and find her some tampons, quick!
So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst in through the front door, ran up the stairs, slammed open the bathroom door and shouted, "Walmart, halfway down aisle 10, bottom shelf!"
«I'm sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you keep him busy in church for an hour after service for me?»
Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees. After the service, Mike asks the minister all sorts of s**... questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to. Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses, "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, and he asked me to keep you occupied."
The minister thinks for a minute, smiles, puts a fatherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says, "You should hurry home now. My wife died a year ago."
2 foreign immigrants have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other,
''"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
A black man walks into a restaurant..
There is a huge sign on wall that says "Colored People Not Allowed."
The man takes a seat and a white man comes over in a hurry and says, " Excuse me son, we don't serve colored people in this restaurant. Im going to have to ask you to leave."
The black man smiles, looks at the white man and says, "Sir, when I was born I was black, when I am sick I'm black, when I'm cold I'm black, when I'm angry I'm black and when I sad I'm black.
But you, sir, when you're born you're pink, when you're sick you are green, when you're cold you turn blue and when you're angry you turn red.
And you have the nerve to call me colored!"
A priest is walking through Kings Cross (a rough area of town), when a woman approached him and says
"Do you want a naughty? 200 bucks."
"Certainly not," he mutters and hurries on. Soon he passed near another woman who says "$200 for a naughty. Interested?"
"No thank you," he replies flusteredly.
As he comes near a third woman she again offers him a naughty for $200, which he of course refuses. Arriving back at the abbey, he happens upon the Mother Superior. Curiosity gets the better of him and he asks, "Mother...er...what's a naughty?
She replies "Two hundred dollars, just like in Kings Cross."
Two blondes are locked out of their car...
The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"
Bruce Willis, arnold schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party
and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".
Former president Clinton
Walks into a dry cleaner with a suit,
"I'm in a hurry can I get this by 3 today?"
The clerk, preoccupied, quickly looked up and asked "come again?"
"No, it was mustard this time."
