Hurricane Jokes
148 hurricane jokes and hilarious hurricane puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hurricane that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
It was a dark and stormy night, and the only thing that could make it worse was a series of terrible hurricane jokes. But that's exactly what one poor soul was stuck doing. Forced to read joke after joke about hurricanes, this person tried their best to keep a straight face. But it was difficult, especially when the jokes were so bad.
Why was this person cursed with this task? It was punishment for making fun of hurricane victims. This person had joked about how stupid people must be to live in hurricane-prone areas. But they soon learned that there was nothing funny about hurricanes. And the only way to make up for their previous insensitivity was to read hurricane jokes to others, in the hopes that they would find some measure of amusement in the midst of all the darkness and destruction.
It was a dark and stormy night, and the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the hurricane blowing outside. But inside, one person was having the time of their life reading hurricane jokes to other people. This person was the only one who found the humor in the situation, and they had to share it with others to lighten the mood. The jokes were puns and riddles, and they were all about the hurricane. The person laughed and laughed as they read the jokes, and the others around them started to laugh too. It was a welcome relief from the stress of the hurricane, and it was all thanks to the one person who took the time to read the jokes.
Quick Jump To
- Short Hurricane Jokes
- Hurricane One Liners
- Hurricane Irma Jokes
- Hurricane Harvey Jokes
- Hurricane Sandy Jokes
- Florida Hurricane Jokes
- More Hurricane Jokes
Funniest Hurricane Short Jokes
Short hurricane jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hurricane humour may include short tornado jokes also.
- Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
- How is Hurricane Florence like my ex wife? They start off wet and wild but in the end, they take your house.
- My marriage was a like a hurricane. At the beginning there was a lot of blowing, but in the end I lost my house.
- Why are hurricanes named with female names? Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them.
- Why do hurricanes get lousy names, like Sandy? Name that thing Hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee folks will be evacuating like they need to.
- What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common? They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.
- Why are most hurricanes named after a woman? When they come, they come wet and wild. When they leave they take your house and your car!
- We need to start giving hurricanes arab names Nobody is going to leave for Irma but if Muhammad was coming the whole country would evacuate
- Why do they name all hurricanes after women? Because when they arrive they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car
- What happens to a sailboat in a category 5 hurricane? MAST DESTRUCTION!!!
I'll ~~see~~ sea myself out...
Share These Hurricane Jokes With Friends
Hurricane One Liners
Which hurricane one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hurricane? I can suggest the ones about tsunami and storm.
- I want to make a joke about hurricane Harvey But I am scared my inbox will be flooded
- Where do squirrels go in a hurricane? All over the place!
- Hurricane Ophelia just blew the roof off my cheese factory. There's de Brie everywhere
- I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes.. It's only a draft at the moment.
- What do you call a walking stick that makes you walk faster? A hurricane
- Man walks into a bar Orders a corona and 2 hurricanes.
Bartender says, that'll be $20.20 - What did Hurricane Tyrone say as it made landfall? Where the white beaches at?!?
- Texas refuses to remove its statues. Hurricane volunteers to help.
- 25% of your roof has been blown off due to a hurricane! What's your response? oof!
- How do you find the eye of a hurricane? Look near the c!
- What's the most inappropriate Halloween costume this year? Hurricane Harvey Weinstein
- Would a hurricane close it's doors in your face? No, but a Lakewood.
- What did the hurricane say to the island? I've got my eye on you!
- Who hits Houston harder? Bobby Brown or Hurricane Harvey.
~Probably too soon. - What do you call a cow stuck in a hurricane? A milkshake.
Hurricane Irma Jokes
Here is a list of funny hurricane irma jokes and even better hurricane irma puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- No way Jose! Another? I can Harvey believe it. Irma find somewhere safer to live. The local chicken shack changed its name in honor of the occasion. They're now Raisin HurriCanes.
- Hurricane Irma Right now Irma is signaling for a left turn.
But it's Florida so, you know, you can't really be sure whats going to happen. - Nobody's happier about hurricane Irma than Hillary Clinton and Al Gore It's the only reason their books are flying off the shelves in Florida.
- Did you just assume the gender of that hurricane? Irma not suppose to do that?
- A reporter was interviewing Hurricane Irma. Reporter: "Now that you've been to the Bahamas and Puerto Rico, where are you headed next?"
Irma: "IM GOING TO DISNEY!!!" - Hurricane Irma is coming! Irma gerd.
- I heard that after Hurricane Irma, FEMA will run out of money. This is surprising since I thought they would have a rainy day fund.
- As Hurricane Irma approaches, we have to ask: Puerto Rico? More like Muerto Rico
- Irma: I hurrican and windy will Florida: Tornadon't! Tornadon't!
- Hurricane Irma took out my electricity. something about it just makes me feel powerless
Hurricane Harvey Jokes
Here is a list of funny hurricane harvey jokes and even better hurricane harvey puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Is it too soon to say a Hurricane Harvey joke Or should I just wait for everything to blow over?
- My wife called me when I was out of town and told be about the 13 inches she got from Harvey last night. I didn't know hurricanes could reach North Dakota...
- Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey... is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!
- Why was Batman in Texas trying to stop the Hurricane? Because it kept leaving Harvey Dents everywhere
- A tree fell on our car during the recent Hurricane, and my dad won't get it repaired. He even named the damage. Harvey Dent
- When someone brings up Hurricane Harvey even though that meme's been dead for a year now.
- North Korea is a lot like Hurricane Harvey The biggest threat in the ocean until some bigger issue comes from the East.
- What's the difference between Trump and Hurricane Harvey? One is a storm wreaking havoc across the nation. The other is Hurricane Harvey.
- We all know the devastation caused by Hurricane Harvey And it is time for Hurricane Batman to take the blame for it.
- What did NASA have to say about Hurricane Harvey? *Kzzzzz* Houston, we have a problem.
Hurricane Sandy Jokes
Here is a list of funny hurricane sandy jokes and even better hurricane sandy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately.
- Have you heard of the new drink that they're calling the Hurricane Sandy?... Yeah.. apparently it's just a watered down Manhattan.
- Remember Hurricane Sandy that hit New York a couple years ago? They made a mixed drink after it It's pretty much a watered down manhattan
- Hurricane Sandy I asked my bartender for a Hurricane Sandy. She looked confused and asked, "What is that?"
I replied, "A watered down Manhattan." - So bartenders are starting to make a drink called the "Hurricane Sandy"... Essentially, it's a just a watered-down Manhattan.
- Snooki's kind of like Hurricane Sandy... She's large, slow-moving, an has blown just about everyone in the Jersey Shore.
- Mc'Donalds in hurricanes No wonder McDonalds places are still open during hurricane sandy. None off their customers can blow away anyways
- Have you tried that new cocktail called Hurricane Sandy? It's just a watered down Manhattan.
- They made a mixed drink after Hurricane Sandy It's pretty much a watered down Manhattan
- My roommate went down to the Hudson River, to see Hurricane Sandy this morning. If anyone's looking for a fully furnished apartment room in NYC to rent, there's a spot available.
Florida Hurricane Jokes
Here is a list of funny florida hurricane jokes and even better florida hurricane puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common? Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.
- Children in florida during the hurricanes, They all got free swimming lessons in the comfort of their home.
- What do a hurricane in North Florida, a tornado in Oklahoma, and a divorce in East Texas have in common? Someone's going to lose a mobile home
- Ex who lives in Florida called and asked if she and her kids could come North and stay with me until the hurricane passes.
I said "Well, your dog can." - After considering Florida peeps trying to shoot at a hurricane incident... Shocked they're not trying to shoot at the coronavirus...
- Did you hear about the Florida teacher who stole the bottlenose dolphin from SeaWorld before Hurricane Matthew? She took it for educational porpoises.
- The recent hurricane in Florida scared me because my parents are there But they made it
- Observation: hurricanes lately have hit places that fit their names (Maria/Jose - Spanish speaking Caribbean. Irma - retiree Florida. Harvey - Texas) Conclusion: name all hurricanes "Santa Claus"
- A Spicy Hurricane Meme Imagine if Irma just goes "YEET" and completely misses Florida, an then starts shooting toward Texas.
- What's Irish, sits outside and rarely survives a Florida hurricane p**... O' Furniture
Happy Hurricane Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about hurricane you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flood jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hurricane pranks.
What did the Hurricane say to the palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary b**....
What does a marriage and a hurricane have in common?
It begins with a lot of s**... and blowing and in the end you still loose your house
3 girls were being exucuted....
...The first girl was getting ready to be shot. The guard yelled,"Ready aim-"The girl yelled," Tornado! Tornado!!" The guard turned around she escaped. The second girl was being exucuted the guard yelled,"Ready aim-" She yelled,"Huirricane!! Hurricane!!" The guard turned around she was gone. The 3rd girl was being exucuted the guard yelled,"Ready aim-" The girl yelled,"Fire!!Fire!"...
Why were hurricanes and tropical storms originally always given women's names?
Because when they first come along it's all wet and wild with lots of suckin and blowin, but by the time it's over and they leave - your house is gone, your boat's gone, your truck's gone...
This Halloween on the East Coast
I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween.
Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane.
while getting ready for the hurricane I noticed there was less people in the snack isle than the water isle...
I'm just kidding, I live in America.
Hurricanes are like women...
...they all start with a lot of blowing and s**... and in the end you lose your house.
This Hurricane should have been called Snooki...
The're both heading to the jersey shore with plans to blow everyone in a 50 mile radius.
What do women and hurricanes have in common?
When they come, they're wet and wild. When they leave, they take your house and your car
Why do hurricanes have girl names?
First they are all wild and wet, then they take your house.
Three men find themselves at a beach-side resort in the Caribbean...
... and they soon begin to discuss their lives and how they came to be there.
The first man says, "I use to run a successful business in the Mid West. One day unfortunately there was a huge fire and my entire warehouse burned to the ground. I collected the insurance on it and decided to move here."
The other two nod, slightly sympathetically.
The second man says, "Similar story here. I used to run a jewellery store back in LA, but unfortunately one night there was a massive break in. I collected the insurance that I had on the jewellery and moved down here to settle."
They look at the third guy. He says, "I used to run a small fishing business on the East Coast. Last year unfortunately the entire thing was ruined by a hurricane. I collected my insurance and moved here."
The first two guys look at each other for a minute. Finally, one says, "How do you start a hurricane?"
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest h**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while b**... her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson . .. . ..
And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Kevin¹s h**...."
The hurricane Sandy.
A guy goes to a bar and looks at the drink menu to see if he can try a new cocktail that he never had before. He noticed there is a drink on the menu named "Hurricane Sandy." The guy never heard of it before so he asks the bartender what is it. The bartender replied "It's a watered down Manhattan."
Hurricane Joaquin
This Category 3 Storm is likely to hit the Eastern US this week.
Good news for Arizona residents: you will not be affected by Joaquin, Phoenix.
If we drown in this upcoming hurricane, would that make us...
...the Joaquin Dead?
We should just name hurricanes after politicians.
That way we wouldn't have to worry about them actually coming through with anything.
Why do hurricanes have women name?
Because they take away your house, your car, your furniture and everything you have.
Johny the Fighter Pilot
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you
grow up?"
Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest p**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. "And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Johnny's p**...."
The Worst Natural Disaster
So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.
* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.
But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.
Meteorologists have recently reconfigured the 5 categories of hurricane.
Number 5 will blow you away.
Marriage is like a hurricane...
Starts with a bunch of s**... and blowing, and at the end you lose your house.
A hurricane is like a woman.
When they come, they are wet, crazy, and wild. But when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds?
I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.
A conversation between God and and Angel
GOD: They scared enough?
ANGEL: Not yet
GOD: You got Trump running?
ANGEL: Yup
GOD: Hurricane?
ANGEL: Yup
GOD: Ok, send in the clowns.
What does Hurricane Katrina and Kim Kardashian have in common?
They have both swallowed hundreds of black kids :)
Why are most hurricanes named after women?
When they come in, it's exciting and wet, but after they leave, half your s**...'s gone.
Women are like hurricane...
...when they're coming, they are nice and wet. When they're leaving, they take cars, houses...
Hurricanes Are Like Women
When they come they're wet and wild, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...
Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."
I guess Mother Nature watches a lot of Oprah.
Because it looks like everybody gets a hurricane.
A hurricane is a lot like getting married...
Starts with a lot of blowing, then you lose your house.
How to take a hurricane seriously
If the US wants to take hurricanes seriously they need to give them Muslim names. We got Irma and people don't care. But when the weatherman starts saying Abdullah is coming at Florida as a category 5, the whole country would evacuate.
Anybody a fan of college football?
I heard the Miami Hurricanes are looking strong this year.
Why are women like a Hurricane?
They come at you all hot and wet and leave you without a house or car...
Hurricane Irma was coming, and my mother was thirsty.
My mother has a glass of port wine with almost
every dinner, and insists that any guests over 21 do the same. A handful of my friends have also come to wait out the storm with us, as they had to evacuate. While at the grocery store stocking up on food, my mother insists on getting more wine for our guests. However, the grocery store was out of her favourite brand. It's okay. She said. Any Port in a storm.
What do hurricanes and a tennessee divorce have in common?
Someone's gonna lose a trailer.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hang on to your nuts, this ain't no regular b**...!
In a strange way, I was really looking forward to the hurricane and I was disappointed when it was downgraded...
I thought others round these here parts would echo my sentiment, but I guess Carolinians are used to being disappointed by the Hurricanes.
Because the Hurricane Made Landfall at Night...
...does that make it Florence Night-in Gale?
A hurricane walks into a bar
The owner doesn't have insurance so his life is pretty much ruined.
I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...
There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.
The width of a milk jug is 5.5"
Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches
93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,6**...,6**...,6**... Feet
Divided by 5280
1,475,694,444 Miles
Divided by 93,000,000 miles to get Astronomical Units
You get 15.8 AU's.
You're so fat, that even though Florence is dropping 17 trillion gallons of rain, It's still not enough to get to Uranus.
In honor of international women's day....
Why are women like a hurricane?
at first they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house.
What do a tornado, a hurricane, and a r**... divorce have in common?
Somebody's gonna lose their trailer.
Why is a marriage like a hurricane?
At the beginning there's a lot of blowing, and when it's over your house is gone...
How are marriage and a hurricane similar?
In the beginning theres lots of blowing and in the end you lose your house.
A man walks into a bar and orders a Corona and two hurricanes...
The bartender says that'll be $20.20
Two couples walk into a bar
Two couples walk into a bar
They order a Corona, two Hurricanes and a fireball.
The bartender tells them "Okay, that will be 20.20."
A priest, a nun and some random dude walks into a bar
They ask for a few coronas, hurricanes, and fireballs.
The bartender says "that'll be 2020"
Wifes are like hurricanes
When they come they're warm and wet and when they go they take your house with them
Have you heard about the street performer who did his act in the middle of a hurricane?
It was mime-blowing
