hurricane Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious hurricane puns

Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY

That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

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How is Hurricane Florence like my ex wife?

They start off wet and wild but in the end, they take your house.

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I want to make a joke about hurricane Harvey

But I am scared my inbox will be flooded

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Whats similar between a hurricane and women?

They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**

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My marriage was a like a hurricane.

At the beginning there was a lot of blowing, but in the end I lost my house.

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Why are hurricanes named with female names?

Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them.

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Why do hurricanes get lousy names, like Sandy?

Name that thing Hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee folks will be evacuating like they need to.

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What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common?

They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.

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Why are most hurricanes named after women?

When they come in, it's exciting and wet, but after they leave, half your shit's gone.

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What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV

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Why do they name all hurricanes after women?

Because when they arrive they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car

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What happens to a sailboat in a category 5 hurricane?

MAST DESTRUCTION!!!

I'll ~~see~~ sea myself out...

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Women are like hurricane...

...when they're coming, they are nice and wet. When they're leaving, they take cars, houses...

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If your house it hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT AND SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY.

That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

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Why are women like a Hurricane?

They come at you all hot and wet and leave you without a house or car...

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HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE

Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately.

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The hurricane Sandy.

A guy goes to a bar and looks at the drink menu to see if he can try a new cocktail that he never had before. He noticed there is a drink on the menu named "Hurricane Sandy." The guy never heard of it before so he asks the bartender what is it. The bartender replied "It's a watered down Manhattan."

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Where do squirrels go in a hurricane?

All over the place!

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Why were hurricanes and tropical storms originally always given women's names?

Because when they first come along it's all wet and wild with lots of suckin and blowin, but by the time it's over and they leave - your house is gone, your boat's gone, your truck's gone...

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Hurricane Ophelia just blew the roof off my cheese factory.

There's de Brie everywhere

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We should just name hurricanes after politicians.

That way we wouldn't have to worry about them actually coming through with anything.

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What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

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Why are hurricanes always named after women?

Because the are wet and wild when they come, and they take house and car when they leave

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Why are Hurricanes normally named after females?

Because they arrive wet and wild then leave with your house and car.

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How to take a hurricane seriously

If the US wants to take hurricanes seriously they need to give them Muslim names. We got Irma and people don't care. But when the weatherman starts saying Abdullah is coming at Florida as a category 5, the whole country would evacuate.

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A teacher reminds her class for tomorrow's exam

A teacher reminds her class of the yearly test tomorrow.

"And remember class, there is no excuse for missing the test tomorrow, not a hurricane, not a funeral, not a nuclear attack, nothing!"

Little Johnny in the corner then pipes up and says

"What would happen if I came into class suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?

The whole class bursts into laughter. The teacher walks up to Johnny and smiles and says

"I'd guess you'd have to write the test left-handed."

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Have you heard of the new drink that they're calling the Hurricane Sandy?...

Yeah.. apparently it's just a watered down Manhattan.

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A hurricane is a lot like getting married...

Starts with a lot of blowing, then you lose your house.

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How is a hurricane like a marriage?

At the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking, and when it's over your house is gone.

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The Worst Natural Disaster

So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.

* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.

But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.

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What does Hurricane Katrina and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They have both swallowed hundreds of black kids :)

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A conversation between God and and Angel

GOD: They scared enough?

ANGEL: Not yet

GOD: You got Trump running?

ANGEL: Yup

GOD: Hurricane?

ANGEL: Yup

GOD: Ok, send in the clowns.

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Hurricanes Are Like Women

When they come they're wet and wild, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

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Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...

Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are about to be shot...

By a firing squad in a Nazi POW camp. The Nazis line them up, and prepare to shoot the Englishman. Just as they're aiming and about to fire, he shouts "HURRICANE!" And all the Germans run desperately for cover, and the Englishman manages to hop the fence and run off.
The disgruntled Germans come back and prepare to shoot the Scotsman. As they're about to fire he shouts "TYPHOON!" and again the Germans run and hide, and the Scotsman legs it away.

The Irishman thinks this is a great idea. The Germans come back to shoot him, and as they're aiming, he shouts "FIRE!"

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What are the most funny Hurricane jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Hurricane? Well, here are the best Hurricane dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Hurricane pick up lines to share with friends.

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