The Best 89 Hurricane Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Hurricane jokes. There are some hurricane flood jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hurricane florida hurricane puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Hurricane Jokes and Puns

Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY

That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

What did the Hurricane say to the palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job.

What does a marriage and a hurricane have in common?

It begins with a lot of sucking and blowing and in the end you still loose your house

Hurricane joke, What does a marriage and a hurricane have in common?

3 girls were being exucuted....

...The first girl was getting ready to be shot. The guard yelled,"Ready aim-"The girl yelled," Tornado! Tornado!!" The guard turned around she escaped. The second girl was being exucuted the guard yelled,"Ready aim-" She yelled,"Huirricane!! Hurricane!!" The guard turned around she was gone. The 3rd girl was being exucuted the guard yelled,"Ready aim-" The girl yelled,"Fire!!Fire!"...

Why were hurricanes and tropical storms originally always given women's names?

Because when they first come along it's all wet and wild with lots of suckin and blowin, but by the time it's over and they leave - your house is gone, your boat's gone, your truck's gone...


This Halloween on the East Coast

I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween.
Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane.

while getting ready for the hurricane I noticed there was less people in the snack isle than the water isle...

I'm just kidding, I live in America.

Hurricane joke, while getting ready for the hurricane I noticed there was less people in the snack isle than the wat

They should name hurricanes after black people:

It only takes one to ruin the neighborhood.

Hurricanes are like women...

...they all start with a lot of blowing and sucking and in the end you lose your house.

HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE

Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately.

This Hurricane should have been called Snooki...

The're both heading to the Jersey Shore with plans to blow everyone in a 50 mile radius.

You can explore hurricane miami reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hurricane tornadoes dad jokes. There are also hurricane puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Snooki's kind of like Hurricane Sandy...

She's large, slow-moving, an has blown just about everyone in the Jersey Shore.

So bartenders are starting to make a drink called the "Hurricane Sandy"...

Essentially, it's a just a watered-down Manhattan.

Hurricane Sandy

I asked my bartender for a Hurricane Sandy. She looked confused and asked, "What is that?"

I replied, "A watered down Manhattan."

Why do hurricanes have girl names?

First they are all wild and wet, then they take your house.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Grab onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job.

Hurricane joke, What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm?

Hold on to your nuts, it will only be a quick blow.

Have you heard of the new drink that they're calling the Hurricane Sandy?...

Yeah.. apparently it's just a watered down Manhattan.

The hurricane Sandy.

A guy goes to a bar and looks at the drink menu to see if he can try a new cocktail that he never had before. He noticed there is a drink on the menu named "Hurricane Sandy." The guy never heard of it before so he asks the bartender what is it. The bartender replied "It's a watered down Manhattan."


Why do they name all hurricanes after women?

Because when they arrive they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car

Whats in the center of a hurricane

The I

Hurricane Joaquin

This Category 3 Storm is likely to hit the Eastern US this week.

Good news for Arizona residents: you will not be affected by Joaquin, Phoenix.

If we drown in this upcoming hurricane, would that make us...

...the Joaquin Dead?

We should just name hurricanes after politicians.

That way we wouldn't have to worry about them actually coming through with anything.

How's a divorce like a hurricane...

There's a bunch of sucking and blowing, but in the end she takes your house.

What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common?

They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.

Why do hurricanes have women name?

Because they take away your house, your car, your furniture and everything you have.

Girl are you a Hurricane?

At first you were wet and wild, but now you've taken my house and car!

What do you call a cow stuck in a hurricane?

A milkshake.

The Worst Natural Disaster

So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.

* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.

But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.

Meteorologists have recently reconfigured the 5 categories of hurricane.

Number 5 will blow you away.

Marriage is like a hurricane...

Starts with a bunch of sucking and blowing, and at the end you lose your house.

Why are hurricanes named with female names?

Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them.

A hurricane is like a woman.

When they come, they are wet, crazy, and wild. But when they leave, they take your house and your car.

Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds?

I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.

A conversation between God and and Angel

GOD: They scared enough?

ANGEL: Not yet

GOD: You got Trump running?

ANGEL: Yup

GOD: Hurricane?

ANGEL: Yup

GOD: Ok, send in the clowns.

What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

Why do hurricanes get lousy names, like Sandy?

Name that thing Hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee folks will be evacuating like they need to.

What does Hurricane Katrina and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They have both swallowed hundreds of black kids :)

What do you call a hurricane that hits Puerto Rico?

A PR disaster

Is it too soon to say a Hurricane Harvey joke

Or should I just wait for everything to blow over?

Texas refuses to remove its statues.

Hurricane volunteers to help.

Why was Batman in Texas trying to stop the Hurricane?

Because it kept leaving Harvey Dents everywhere

Why are most hurricanes named after women?

When they come in, it's exciting and wet, but after they leave, half your shit's gone.

Who hits Houston harder?

Bobby Brown or Hurricane Harvey.

~Probably too soon.

Women are like hurricane...

...when they're coming, they are nice and wet. When they're leaving, they take cars, houses...

I want to make a joke about hurricane Harvey

But I am scared my inbox will be flooded

Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey...

is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!

Would a hurricane close it's doors in your face?

No, but a Lakewood.

You know why hurricanes are named after women names?

Because they take away your car, your house and everything you got...

Hurricanes Are Like Women

When they come they're wet and wild, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...

Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."

I guess Mother Nature watches a lot of Oprah.

Because it looks like everybody gets a hurricane.

My marriage was a like a hurricane.

At the beginning there was a lot of blowing, but in the end I lost my house.

Hurricane Irma

Right now Irma is signaling for a left turn.

But it's Florida so, you know, you can't really be sure whats going to happen.

A hurricane is a lot like getting married...

Starts with a lot of blowing, then you lose your house.

How to take a hurricane seriously

If the US wants to take hurricanes seriously they need to give them Muslim names. We got Irma and people don't care. But when the weatherman starts saying Abdullah is coming at Florida as a category 5, the whole country would evacuate.

How do you find the eye of a hurricane?

Look near the c!

Why are women like a Hurricane?

They come at you all hot and wet and leave you without a house or car...

Hurricane Nate is said to go straight North from The Gulf in to Alabama

Experts say it will cause millions of dollars worth of improvement.

Hurricane Ophelia just blew the roof off my cheese factory.

There's de Brie everywhere

What's the most inappropriate Halloween costume this year?

Hurricane Harvey Weinstein

Hurricane Irma was coming, and my mother was thirsty.

My mother has a glass of port wine with almost
every dinner, and insists that any guests over 21 do the same. A handful of my friends have also come to wait out the storm with us, as they had to evacuate. While at the grocery store stocking up on food, my mother insists on getting more wine for our guests. However, the grocery store was out of her favourite brand. It's okay. She said. Any Port in a storm.

What do hurricanes and a Tennessee divorce have in common?

Someone's gonna lose a trailer.

What happens to a sailboat in a category 5 hurricane?

MAST DESTRUCTION!!!

I'll ~~see~~ sea myself out...

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hang on to your nuts, this ain't no regular blow job!

What do a hurricane in North Florida, a tornado in Oklahoma, and a divorce in East Texas have in common?

Someone's going to lose a mobile home

Where do squirrels go in a hurricane?

All over the place!

In a strange way, I was really looking forward to the hurricane and I was disappointed when it was downgraded...

I thought others round these here parts would echo my sentiment, but I guess Carolinians are used to being disappointed by the Hurricanes.

How is Hurricane Florence like my ex wife?

They start off wet and wild but in the end, they take your house.

Because the Hurricane Made Landfall at Night...

...does that make it Florence Night-in Gale?

A hurricane walks into a bar

The owner doesn't have insurance so his life is pretty much ruined.

I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...

There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.

The width of a milk jug is 5.5"

Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches

93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,666,666,666 Feet

Divided by 5280

1,475,694,444 Miles

Divided by 93,000,000 miles to get Astronomical Units

You get 15.8 AU's.

You're so fat, that even though Florence is dropping 17 trillion gallons of rain, It's still not enough to get to Uranus.

I asked my Hindu friend whether he plans to evacuate for Hurricane Florence.

He said, Na-ama-ste.

Remember Hurricane Sandy that hit New York a couple years ago? They made a mixed drink after it

It's pretty much a watered down manhattan

What did Hurricane Tyrone say as it made landfall?

Where the white beaches at?!?

In honor of international women's day....

Why are women like a hurricane?



at first they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house.

What do a tornado, a hurricane, and a redneck divorce have in common?

Somebody's gonna lose their trailer.

Why is a marriage like a hurricane?

At the beginning there's a lot of blowing, and when it's over your house is gone...

What do you call a walking stick that makes you walk faster?

A hurricane

What did the hurricane say to the island?

I've got my eye on you!

How are marriage and a hurricane similar?

In the beginning theres lots of blowing and in the end you lose your house.

Last week we had an earthquake, a hurricane, and a LITERAL serpentine fire so, on this auspicious day, I'd just like to say:

OK, Earth Wind & Fire...

WE REMEMBER THE 21ST NIGHT OF SEPTEMBER!!!

Have you heard about the street performer who did his act in the middle of a hurricane?

It was mime-blowing

Why are most hurricanes named after a woman?

When they come, they come wet and wild. When they leave they take your house and your car!

How is marriage like a Hurricane?

In the the beginning you get blown a lot

and it ends with you losing your house.

Hurricanes are a lot like marriage

First there's a lot of blowing. Then your house is gone.

Southwest had to ground so many flights because of inclement weather....

I guess you could call this weather "hurricane Brandon".

A big hurricane came by and washed a beach away...

The sea rises by and says "Oy! Beach! Where's the rest of ya!?". The beach replies: "I'm not shore anymore."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hurricane hurricane irma jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hurricane miami hurricane piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes