Hurrican Jokes
92 hurrican jokes and hilarious hurrican puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hurrican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hurrican Short Jokes
Short hurrican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hurrican humour may include short immediately jokes also.
- Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
- How is hurricane Florence like my ex wife? They start off wet and wild but in the end, they take your house.
- My marriage was a like a hurricane. At the beginning there was a lot of blowing, but in the end I lost my house.
- Why are hurricanes named with female names? Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them.
- Why do hurricanes get lousy names, like Sandy? Name that thing Hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee folks will be evacuating like they need to.
- What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common? They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.
- What happens to a sailboat in a category 5 hurricane? MAST DESTRUCTION!!!
I'll ~~see~~ sea myself out... - HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately.
- We should just name hurricanes after politicians. That way we wouldn't have to worry about them actually coming through with anything.
- What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common? Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.
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Hurrican One Liners
Which hurrican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hurrican? I can suggest the ones about thunderstorm and radius.
- I want to make a joke about hurricane Harvey But I am scared my inbox will be flooded
- Where do squirrels go in a hurricane? All over the place!
- Hurricane Ophelia just blew the roof off my cheese factory. There's de Brie everywhere
- I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes.. It's only a draft at the moment.
- What do you call a walking stick that makes you walk faster? A hurricane
- What did Hurricane Tyrone say as it made landfall? Where the white beaches at?!?
- Texas refuses to remove its statues. Hurricane volunteers to help.
- 25% of your roof has been blown off due to a hurricane! What's your response? oof!
- How do you find the eye of a hurricane? Look near the c!
- What's the most inappropriate Halloween costume this year? Hurricane Harvey Weinstein
- Would a hurricane close it's doors in your face? No, but a Lakewood.
- What did the hurricane say to the island? I've got my eye on you!
- Who hits Houston harder? Bobby Brown or Hurricane Harvey.
~Probably too soon. - If we drown in this upcoming hurricane, would that make us... ...the Joaquin Dead?
- What do you call a hurricane that hits Puerto Rico? A PR disaster
Unearthly Funniest Hurrican Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about hurrican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hurrican pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 girls were being exucuted....
...The first girl was getting ready to be shot. The guard yelled,"Ready aim-"The girl yelled," Tornado! Tornado!!" The guard turned around she escaped. The second girl was being exucuted the guard yelled,"Ready aim-" She yelled,"Huirricane!! Hurricane!!" The guard turned around she was gone. The 3rd girl was being exucuted the guard yelled,"Ready aim-" The girl yelled,"Fire!!Fire!"...
This Halloween on the East Coast
I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween.
Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane.
while getting ready for the hurricane I noticed there was less people in the snack isle than the water isle...
I'm just kidding, I live in America.
This Hurricane should have been called Snooki...
The're both heading to the jersey shore with plans to blow everyone in a 50 mile radius.
Snooki's kind of like Hurricane Sandy...
She's large, slow-moving, an has blown just about everyone in the Jersey Shore.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm?
Hold on to your nuts, it will only be a quick blow.
Three men find themselves at a beach-side resort in the Caribbean...
... and they soon begin to discuss their lives and how they came to be there.
The first man says, "I use to run a successful business in the Mid West. One day unfortunately there was a huge fire and my entire warehouse burned to the ground. I collected the insurance on it and decided to move here."
The other two nod, slightly sympathetically.
The second man says, "Similar story here. I used to run a jewellery store back in LA, but unfortunately one night there was a massive break in. I collected the insurance that I had on the jewellery and moved down here to settle."
They look at the third guy. He says, "I used to run a small fishing business on the East Coast. Last year unfortunately the entire thing was ruined by a hurricane. I collected my insurance and moved here."
The first two guys look at each other for a minute. Finally, one says, "How do you start a hurricane?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest h**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while b**... her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson . .. . ..
And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Kevin¹s h**...."
The hurricane Sandy.
A guy goes to a bar and looks at the drink menu to see if he can try a new cocktail that he never had before. He noticed there is a drink on the menu named "Hurricane Sandy." The guy never heard of it before so he asks the bartender what is it. The bartender replied "It's a watered down Manhattan."
Whats in the center of a hurricane
The I
Hurricane Joaquin
This Category 3 Storm is likely to hit the Eastern US this week.
Good news for Arizona residents: you will not be affected by Joaquin, Phoenix.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How's a divorce like a hurricane...
There's a bunch of s**... and blowing, but in the end she takes your house.
Girl are you a Hurricane?
At first you were wet and wild, but now you've taken my house and car!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Johny the Fighter Pilot
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you
grow up?"
Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest p**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. "And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Johnny's p**...."
The Worst Natural Disaster
So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.
* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.
But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.
Meteorologists have recently reconfigured the 5 categories of hurricane.
Number 5 will blow you away.
Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds?
I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.
A conversation between God and and Angel
GOD: They scared enough?
ANGEL: Not yet
GOD: You got Trump running?
ANGEL: Yup
GOD: Hurricane?
ANGEL: Yup
GOD: Ok, send in the clowns.
Trump is like Hurricane Matthew
The media is talking about it nonstop. Nobody knows how bad it's going to be, but you can't help shake your head at the Floridan who ignores the warning.
What do a hurricane and a marriage have in common?
They both start with a lot of blowing, then you lose your house
Is it too soon to say a Hurricane Harvey joke
Or should I just wait for everything to blow over?
My wife called me when I was out of town and told be about the 13 inches she got from Harvey last night.
I didn't know hurricanes could reach North Dakota...
Why was Batman in Texas trying to stop the Hurricane?
Because it kept leaving Harvey Dents everywhere
Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey...
is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hurricanes Are Like Women
When they come they're wet and wild, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...
Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."
I guess Mother Nature watches a lot of Oprah.
Because it looks like everybody gets a hurricane.
Anybody a fan of college football?
I heard the Miami Hurricanes are looking strong this year.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are women like a Hurricane?
They come at you all hot and wet and leave you without a house or car...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We need to start giving hurricanes arab names
Nobody is going to leave for Irma but if Muhammad was coming the whole country would evacuate
Hurricane Nate is said to go straight North from The Gulf in to Alabama
Experts say it will cause millions of dollars worth of improvement.
Hurricane Irma was coming, and my mother was thirsty.
My mother has a glass of port wine with almost
every dinner, and insists that any guests over 21 do the same. A handful of my friends have also come to wait out the storm with us, as they had to evacuate. While at the grocery store stocking up on food, my mother insists on getting more wine for our guests. However, the grocery store was out of her favourite brand. It's okay. She said. Any Port in a storm.
God was creating the countries when it became Brazil's turn
God: This land will be a land filled with natural resources, the women will be beautiful, there will be no hurricanes or tornados, they will also have a lot of forests.
The angels were thinking this was a little too much and asked God, Isn't this a little too good?
God calmly answered: Wait for their politicians
Children in florida during the hurricanes,
They all got free swimming lessons in the comfort of their home.
In a strange way, I was really looking forward to the hurricane and I was disappointed when it was downgraded...
I thought others round these here parts would echo my sentiment, but I guess Carolinians are used to being disappointed by the Hurricanes.
Because the Hurricane Made Landfall at Night...
...does that make it Florence Night-in Gale?
A hurricane walks into a bar
The owner doesn't have insurance so his life is pretty much ruined.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...
There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.
The width of a milk jug is 5.5"
Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches
93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,6**...,6**...,6**... Feet
Divided by 5280
1,475,694,444 Miles
Divided by 93,000,000 miles to get Astronomical Units
You get 15.8 AU's.
You're so fat, that even though Florence is dropping 17 trillion gallons of rain, It's still not enough to get to Uranus.
I asked my Hindu friend whether he plans to evacuate for Hurricane Florence.
He said, Na-ama-ste.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In honor of international women's day....
Why are women like a hurricane?
at first they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house.
A man walks into a bar and orders a Corona and two hurricanes...
The bartender says that'll be $20.20
Two couples walk into a bar
Two couples walk into a bar
They order a Corona, two Hurricanes and a fireball.
The bartender tells them "Okay, that will be 20.20."
A priest, a nun and some random dude walks into a bar
They ask for a few coronas, hurricanes, and fireballs.
The bartender says "that'll be 2020"
Last week we had an earthquake, a hurricane, and a LITERAL serpentine fire so, on this auspicious day, I'd just like to say:
OK, Earth Wind & Fire...
WE REMEMBER THE 21ST NIGHT OF SEPTEMBER!!!
Wifes are like hurricanes
When they come they're warm and wet and when they go they take your house with them
Have you heard about the street performer who did his act in the middle of a hurricane?
It was mime-blowing
Southwest had to ground so many flights because of inclement weather....
I guess you could call this weather "hurricane Brandon".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts this will be one h**... of a b**...!
(My brother and I heard this in the school yard when we were 9&6 respectively. That night he told it at the dinner table when my grandma was over!)
In America, great big massive storms are called Hurricanes
In India they're called Cyclones
In Japan they're called Typhoons
In Britain they're called Wednesdays
What happened when a hurricane hit Alabama?
It caused 10 million dollars worth of improvements.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's Irish, sits outside and rarely survives a Florida hurricane
p**... O' Furniture
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A British spy, Irish spy and Scottish spy are captured by the n**...
Just as the n**... are about to open fire, the British spy shouts
"Hurricane!"
and all the n**... run, allowing the British spy to escape
Angered, they return, and prepare to shoot the Scottish spy when he shouts
"Typhoon!"
and all the n**... run, allowing the Scottish spy to escape
The n**... return again, angry, to kill the Irish spy when he shouts
"Fire!"
