Hunting Guide Jokes
4 hunting guide jokes and hilarious hunting guide puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hunting guide that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hunting Guide Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good hunting guide joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Bush, Obama, and Trump go on a hunting trip.
Their hunting guide instructs them to find and follow tracks and they should be able to find their quarry.
Bush follows some tracks and gets a bear. Obama follows some tracks and gets a deer.
Trump follows some tracks and gets hit by a train.
A man went on a semi-guided hunting trip in the remote wilderness.
Before setting off on the first day the guide instructed him to shoot three times into the air if he should get lost. Sure enough, the man the man became lost and did as instructed. Nobody came. This continued over the course of the next four days. Finally, on the fifth day a search party located the lost man and just in the nick of time as he only had one arrow left.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hunting Polar Bears
A hunter decides he wants to hunt a polar bear in the northern tundra. He hires a plane and a guide to take him out in to the ice fields. He asks the guide if he has any advice on how to catch a polar bear.
"It's quite simple," the guide responds. "First you take your shovel and dig a large hole in to the ice. Then take this can of peas and sprinkle them around the hole."
Confused, the hunter asks, "How on earth is that going to help me catch a polar bear?"
The guide smiles, "When the bear bends over to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Czechoslovakian and the German
A Czech and a German entered into a contest. The point of the contest was to guess the right 7 numbers and win an all expense paid trip to Alaska to hunt a grizzly bear. The contest ended and it turns out the two men guessed the same winning numbers, so both got to go on the hunt.
After arriving in the camp and getting settled they decide to head out tomorrow with the guide to hunt the mighty bear. But the next day the guide is feeling under the weather so the two men decide to go out alone. After hiking through rugged mountains for hours they come into a clearing and see two bears, a male and a female. The German takes aim and pulls the trigger... "Click"! The all expense paid trip didn't come with ammo. The sound startled the bears and they charged. The Czech pulls his knife and rushes at the bears. The German tries to pull his p**... but stumbled backwards, hit his head, and fell into a river. When he comes to he sees the guide kneeling over him.
After being briefed on the situation they
decide to track the bears and save the Czech. They find the female bear chewing on a boot, the guide takes aim and... "Bang!", the bear is dead. The two men cut open the bear and her stomach is empty except for a few fish. The German utters the immortal words," The Czechs in the Male"
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