Hunter Jokes
135 hunter jokes and hilarious hunter puns to laugh out loud. Read professions jokes about hunter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with this collection of silly Hunter jokes! Check out the silly jokes inspired by Hunter X Hunter, a popular anime series, as well as other hunter related topics like a hunter name, Hunter Gatherer, Hunter Jumper, marksman, scavenger, and chaser!
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Funniest Hunter Short Jokes
Short hunter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hunter humour may include short hoot jokes also.
- If a tree falls..... A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!" - TIL Steve Irwin had a failed "Crocodile Hunter" sunscreen brand. Apparently it didn't protect you from harmful rays
- Although Steve Irwin was known as the crocodile hunter ....he will always have soft spot in his heart for stingrays
- To what would you change the name of a kid named Hunter if he becomes a vegetarian? ….Gatherer
- A hunter was asked what he did for a living, and he responds that he "hunts tigers in Africa." When it's pointed out that there are no tigers in Africa, he replies "that's because I do my job".
- Advice from an old native American hunter: Never go hunting for buffalo with a dull spear, it is pointless.
- A hunter went out on a hunting trip. He took his sons cigarettes by mistake. He had an excellent day. He shot 2 bucks, a boar, a black bear, and a unicorn.
- A careless hunter accidentally shot my atheist friend in the side with a shotgun. The near-death experience made him a holier man.
- Did you hear about the hunter who got squashed by the dying elephant? He finally understood the gravity of his actions.
- We gave our children old-fashioned names... Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley
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Hunter One Liners
Which hunter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hunter? I can suggest the ones about hart and wolf.
- Why do hunters close one eye when they aim? Because they can't see if they close both.
- What do you call a fruity bounty hunter? A mangolorian
- An innocent man was killed by a vampire hunter. It was a terrible mistake.
- My paper towels went missing so I hired a Bounty hunter.
- What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? "Quack, quack."
- What do hunters call deer that carry guns? Fair game
- What do you call a hunter class Neanderthal with Parkinson's Disease? Shakespeare
- Why did the duck hunter have no batting average? All he can hit are fowls.
- Why are mushroom hunters so selfish? Because it's mycology, not yourcology!
- What does a wolf hunter consider success? Smoking a pack a day.
- What did the treasure hunter say when he finally found the map of the Golden City? Atlas!
- "Hey. Did you know I'm a zombie hunter?" "What? Zombies don't exist."
"You're welcome." - What do Native Americans call vegetarians? Poor hunters
- My cousin just started a new career as a bounty hunter… …Apparently, she makes a killing.
- What's a hunter's least favorite Bon Jovi song? Bad Venison
Deer Hunter Jokes
Here is a list of funny deer hunter jokes and even better deer hunter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear the one about the hunter who almost fell out of his tree stand ? He was hanging on for deer life
- Hunter says to a deer "wanna go back to my place and hang by the fire?" "Sure" says the deer "I'm game"
- Remember the guy who played in the deer hunter, and pulp fiction. Christopher something or other. Anyway, I heard he's opening a new hospital. I think they're going to call it the Walken clinic.
- What common saying is a favorite among deer hunters and racist cops? "If it's brown, it's down."
- Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he couldn't tell if it was friend or doe.
- Why wouldn't the activist let go of the hunter's gun? He was holding on for deer life.
- Q: Where in L.A. can a deer hunter find does in season year round?
A: Venison Beach - What did the millennial hunter say when he couldn't see the deer anymore? I just lost the game.
...And now so have you. - What's a deer hunters favourite type of ice cream? Moose tracks
- A deer hunter asked his Pastor if it was a sin to hunt on Sunday.
"From what I hear about your aim," said the Pastor, "It's a sin for you to hunt anytime."
Bounty Hunter Jokes
Here is a list of funny bounty hunter jokes and even better bounty hunter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Where do Bounty Hunters go to eat? Bo Buffet
- What do you call a star wars bounty hunter who loves tropical fruit ? Mango Fett.
- With all the missing paper towels and napkins everywhere... You could say that right now, I'm a Bounty hunter
- After finding a Twix and two Mars bars I began to realise that I'm just not cut out to be a Bounty hunter
- Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I hate Bounty Hunters.
- What do you call a worried bounty hunter? Boba Fret
- What do you call an amphibian who catches criminals? Frog the Bounty Hunter
- What's the best bounty hunter in the galaxy with one eye? Boba Fetty Wap
- I asked my wife to dress up as a bounty hunter from Star Wars I have a Boba fettish
- I've trained my German Shepherd to find any paper towels that are missing from my house. He is auditioning for the next Dog the Bounty hunter.
Hunter Name Jokes
Here is a list of funny hunter name jokes and even better hunter name puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Would it be sexist if... I named my son Hunter and my daughter Gatherer?
- What have I named the Pie section of my bakery menu? Treasure Hunter cus its full of Pie-Rates
- If Hunter Renfrow has another game against Alabama like the last two championships, I've decided that I'm going to name my first born child after him. Hopefully, Jessica will adapt to the new name.
- A hunter goes into the jungle. He shoots a dog but tiger dies. How? The dog's name was Tiger.
Duck Hunter Jokes
Here is a list of funny duck hunter jokes and even better duck hunter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two Jewish duck hunters make a kill on the same waterfowl But who takes the bill?
- 2 hunters walk into a bar... ...That was the worst time to misinterpret the word 'duck'
Hilarious Fun Hunter Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about hunter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean walker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hunter pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
r**... Logic Joke
Two r**..., Hunter and c**... decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" the c**... asked.
The counselor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a w**... eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the counselor.
"That's real good!" said c**....
The counselor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, c**... said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
c**... was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the counselor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
c**..., proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Hunter was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Hunter.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied c**....
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked Hunter.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a w**... eater?" asked c**....
"No," Hunter replied.
"Then you're gay."
3 hunters are in the woods.
Ok so 3 hunters are walking through the woods when they see some tracks on the ground.
The first hunter said they were deer tracks.
The second hunter said no they are bear tracks.
The third hunter didn't get to say anything because he got ran over by a train.
Why do hunters make good lovers?
1. They always go deep in the bush.
2. They shoot often.
3. They always eat what they shoot.
Elephant Hunter
I used to hunt elephant but had to quit.. Carrying the decoys got to heavy.
A bounty hunter walks . . .
. . into the Sheriffs office and asks if he has any wanted posters.
" I just got the one today" He replies, "The Brown Paper Kid"
The bounty hunter asks "Why do they call him the Brown Paper Kid"
"Well he's got a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper shoes and brown paper pants"
"Okay sure. Whats he wanted for?"
"Rustling"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Conversation between a 911 operator and a hunter
"911, what's your emergency?"
"My friend and I went hunting and he got attacked by a bear, I managed to scare it away, but I think my friend is dead"
"OK, stay calm. First, make sure he is dead"
*Gun shot*
"He is. Now what?"
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HUNTER & A STALKER
What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?
ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!
At an outdoorsy store a hunter asks an employee why anyone would want to buy camo longjohns
The employee promptly replies, "They'll never see you coming!"
An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.
The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.
"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."
"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."
The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"
Two hunters are out hunting
Suddenly, they see a bear racing towards them. They start running, but all of a sudden one of them stops and starts to take off his hunting boots and put on running shoes.
The other hunters says to him: "What are you doing? Those will not make you run faster than the bear."
The first hunter replies calmly: "No, but they will make run faster than you."
Three hunters
Three hunters went into a forest and came upon three sets of tracks. The first hunter examined the first set and said "These are deer tracks", the second hunter examined the second set and said "These are bear tracks", the third hunter didn't say anything because he was hit by a train.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two hunters are out in the woods...
One collapses and stops breathing. His companion calls an emergency number and cries, "My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator says, "Calm down; I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot, and the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two hunters are in the woods...
Two hunters were in the woods, when one collapsed. He didn't seem to be breathing. The other called the emergency number and said, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator said, "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." After a second of silence on the hunter's end, the operator heard a gunshot. The hunter came back on the phone and said, ""OK, now what?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Babys In Mothers Woom
Three babies are in their mother's w**.... One of them says, "I want to be an artist so everyone knows what it looks like in here." The next one says, "I want to be a swimmer because I get so much practice in here." The last baby says, "I'm going to be a hunter because if that snake comes in here and pokes me again, I'm going to chop that thing in half!
I saw an advert on my computer that said "Get ripped in 2 weeks!"
I'm not that gullible.
So instead I went back to my Ghost Hunter show.
A family of hunter-gatherers sits down to dinner
The daughter, the youngest member of the family, complains, "There's a hair in my soup!"
"Well," replies her father, the hunter of the household, "technically, it's a rabbit."
There are two hunters
Suddenly one of them collapses. He appears not to be breathing and his eyes glaze over. The other hunter panics and 911. The hunter says "I think my friend is dead! What do I do?" The operator says "Calm down. First, make sure he's dead." A gunshot is heard on the other line. The hunter says, "Okay now what.?"
Two hunters were driving down a narrow two lane road in an off-road jeep, and saw a sign that said 'Bear Left'...
They turned around and went home.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two hunters are out in the woods when one collapses...
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "I think my friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Two hunters are strolling through the woods ...
When suddenly, one of them gasps, grabs hit chest, and collapses on the floor, eyes open and non-responsive.
In a panic, the other hunter dials 911: "I think my friend is dead! What can I do?!"
"Sir, please calm down. First of all, lets make sure he's dead"
There is a silence, and then a gunshot is heard
"Okay, so now what?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the hunter who traded a prize deer for a high class p**...?
He got the best bang for his buck
What's the difference between a suicidal ghost hunter and a weaboo alcohol taster?
One drinks bleach and watches spirits; the other drinks spirits and watches Bleach.
What does a vegetarian hunter say before dinner?
"Lettuce prey"
Hunters should always know what's behind their target
Behind mine is a Sam's Club and a Starbucks
A man was water skiing when he fell into the river.
As the boat
circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds. The man put his hands in the air and joked, Don't shoot!
The hunter responded, Don't quack.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an overweight bounty hunter?
Boba Fat
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vegetarian is an ancient Native Indian word meaning
"bad hunter".
A man goes to the Doctor
*Guy*: Doctor, My girlfriend is
pregnant but we always used double
protection. Then, how is it possible?
*Doctor*: Let me tell you a story to make you realize that it is possible.
"There was a Hunter who always carried a
Gun wherever he went.
One day, he took his Umbrella instead of his
Gun and went out.
A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him.
In order to scare the Lion, the hunter used the Umbrella like a
Gun and shot the Lion, the Lion collapsed & died!
*Guy*:This is totally Nonsense!!
"Someone else must
have shot the Lion"
*Doctor*: Good!! You understood the Story. Next patient please... .
Note: My friend just told me this joke so I'm not sure if it's been here before
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is everyone a social justice warrior ?
Couldn't they pick another class ? Like social justice mage or social justice hunter ?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A hunter was walking through the forrest.....
When he comes across a beautiful n**... women, she smiles seductively and says "Im Game big boy"!
So he shot her.
My wife's pregnant
90yr man: My 18yr wife is pregnant,your opinion doc?
Dr: Let me tell you a story. A hunter in a hurry, grabs an umbrela instead of the gun. He moves into the jungle, and sees a lion, lifts the umbrela, pulls the handle and BANG, The lion drops dead!
Old man: That's is impossible, sumone else must have shot the lion!
Dr: EXACTLY!!
Snake bite
Two hunters go out into the woods and one of them gets bitten by a snake, collapses and stops breathing. The other hunter quickly calls emergency services and says "You have to help me, my friend just got bitten by a snake and died." The operator says "OK, calm down. First, make sure he is dead." The phone goes silent for a bit, followed by the sound of a gun shot. The hunter goes back to the phone and says to the operator "Ok, now what?"
When hunters go ammunition shopping, they have a reputation for being cheapskates...
They're always trying to get the best bang for their buck
A hunter and his guide were deep in the mountains when they stopped to rest.
The hunter gazed at his companion and mused, "You know, I'm a pretty big fellow. If I had a heart attack or broke a leg, how would you get me out?"
"Last year, I shot a sixteen hundred pound moose way back there and got it out all right," the guide replied.
"How'd you manage that?"
"Twelve trips."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are 2 hunters in the woods
suddenly, one of the hunters has a heart attack and falls over. The other hunter calls 911. "Operator, I think my friend is dead," he says. "Well before we do anything else, we need to make sure he is dead," responds the operator. There is silence. Then there is a loud bang. "Ok, now what do I do"?
A man and a woman are flirting in a bar
The woman asks the man what he does for a job to which he replies "I'm a vampire hunter"
"There are no vampires around here through" she says looking at him confused. He takes a long drink and says "you're welcome"
A hunter takes two monkeys to a taxidermist…
The taxidermist asks Do you want these mounted?
The hunter responds No, holding hands would be just fine
A bounty hunter rides into town with a completely sealed box.
He goes up the the mayor, holds up the bounty, and says, I've got your bandit just as you requested 'dead and alive'.
The mayor says, not 'dead AND alive', 'dead OR alive'.
The bounty hunter looks at the bounty and then at the box and then at the mayor, and says, I guess we should open the box then.
Guy: Doctor my girlfriend is pregnant but I always wear contraception and the rubber never breaks
Doctor: Let me tell you a story, there once was a hunter who always carried a gun with him. But one day he forgot his gun and brought an umbrella with him instead (cause it was raining). Then a lion jumped at him but he shot it with the umbrella
Guy: Nonsense, someone else must have shot the lion!
Doctor: Ahh, so you understood my story. Next!
There are 2 hunters in the woods
One of them collapses and the other calls 911. The hunter says, "I think my friend is dead, what do I do?" The operator says, "Okay, first make sure he is dead." There was a gun shoot, then the hunter said, "Now what?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two hunters are in a forest when, all of sudden, a venomous snake jumps and bites one of them in the groin.
His friend, desperate, calls 911.
"Help me! My friend got bitten by a snake!"
"Calm down, sir! First of all, you must find the location of the bite and s**... the poison out. Can you do that?"
"Gotcha."
The bitten friend asks: "So? What did they say?"
"They said you'll die, dude."
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
My father recently passed away.
I'll never forget how much I inherited.
From him I got the eye of an eagle, the heart of a lion and so much more.
He was the best hunter this world has ever seen.
My friend is a hunter, before he sets off hunting he takes the meat from a previous hunt and rubs it all over his head.
It's how he gets his game face on.
Two hunters are walking through a wooded farmland...
when they come across a giant hole they can't seem to find the bottom of. They wanna know how deep it is, so they see a rusted anvil close by, drag it over, and throw it down the hole. Seconds pass, and they never hear it hit the bottom.
A few seconds later, a goat comes sprinting by, and jumps right into the hole. The farmer comes walking by and asks the hunters "fellas, have you guys seen my goat around here?"
The hunters reply "well he just came running at us 80 mph and jumped down into that hole there!"
The farmer says "well that can't be! He was chained to an anvil!"
Did you hear about the mushroom hunter who was terrible at finding edible mushrooms, so would resort to stealing them from the baskets of other hunters?
He had no morel compass.
I used to be an avid hunter of wolves, but I had to quit. I got addicted to it...
I was up to two packs a day.
True story.
Hunters Birthday Present
What do you give a hunter for his Birthday.
A Birthday pheasant
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hunter: Wanna get shot by a rifle?
Duck: Sure, I'm game.
Hope it hasn't been done before
A hunter is talking with another hunter "Yesterday, we went on hunt with the others and I killed 3 rabbits, 2 foxes et 5 notuss"
The other hunter replied "What's a notuss ?"
The first hunter then said "I don't know, while I was shooting they were shouting "Not us, not us !""
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911.
"My friend isn't breathing," - he shouts into the phone, - "What should I do?"
"Relax," - the operator tells him, - "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says:
"OK, now what?"
An old joke.
Two hunters were lost in a forest.
One tells the other, I heard that if you fire three times in the air, that can help people to find you.
They try that once, then again an hour later but still no-one turned up.
The second hunter says I am not sure we should try that again.
The first hunter agrees, saying You're probably right, besides, we're almost out of arrows.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First day as a vampire hunter: This is easy
**First night as a vampire hunter:** oh no
Two hunters are out in the woods
...when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
I think my friend is dead! he yells. What can I do?
The operator says, Calm down. First, let's make sure he's dead.
There's a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, OK, now what?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 hunters chat about their hunting stories
2 hunters talk about what has happened to them and the first one says... "Once, when I was in Africa and I was hunting I feel something is behind me... so I turn around and see a huge lion right behind me ...so I start running in order to escape but it was getting closer and closer but when it just about to get me … the lion just slipped and fell on the ground so I escaped." the second hunter then ask him in awe "and how the h**... you didn't s**... yourself mate? so he replies "what you think the lion slipped on ?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A hunter shot a lion and wanted its head mounted. Unfortunately, the taxidermist got it backwards.
It was a real cat-a**...-trophy
Two hunters.
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says 911, whats your emergency? The hunter replies My friend just passed out and I don't know what to do! I think he might be dead! The emergency responder replies Before you do anything, make sure he is dead. The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says Ok, now what?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two hunters joke
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guys says "OK, now what?"
