The Best 71 Hungry Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Hungry jokes. There are some hungry bums jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hungry jacks puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Hungry Jokes and Puns

A context joke

Have you ever noticed that when you say, "I hope you're hungry" in a place like America it's nice.
But if you say that in Africa it is a cruel joke.

Why do cannibals never go hungry?

Because they can make themselves dinner.

Two bats are sitting in a cave...

...one looks at the other a says, "I'm hungry. Think I'll go get some blood". So he flew out of the cave.

About an hour later he returns with his face covered in blood. His buddy looks at him and says, "Wow! How did you get all that blood?".

"Well...", he replies, "you know when you are flying out of the cave, you hang a right and then you see that tree in front of you..."

"Yeah?", says his buddy.

He replies, "Well.....I didn't".

Hungry joke, Two bats are sitting in a cave...

Men have feelings too.

For example, sometimes we feel hungry.

Hitler walks into a restaurant...



Adolf walks in to a restaurant and states, "I'm hungry!"

The owner asks, "Well, what do you want to eat?"

Hitler replies with, "As long as it's *not-sea*food, I'm sure I'll love it!"


An apple

A sudden desert storm had made a traveler lost his direction. The only thing he had was an apple. It was so precious, whenever he was thirsty or hungry, he would only look at the apple, then he would walk again full of hope.

Unfortunately, he still died in the desert. It was written on the police report: He would have walked out of the desert if he had had a Samsung or Nokia.

What happened to the clock that was still hungry?

It went back 4 seconds.

Hungry joke, What happened to the clock that was still hungry?

Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.

* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.

* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.

* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.

* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.

* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.

* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.

Latvian potato eating contest.

Latvia man enter contest eat potato. Many other contestants. Contest start. Is no potato. All men sad. And hungry.

A homeless man walks by a bar...

He sees a man sitting in front of a steaming bowl of chili. And the homeless man is so hungry he walks inside the bar and tells the man he's very hungry. The man at the bar just shoves the chili over to the homeless man and nods. The homeless man is surprised but starts eating right away, as he gets to the bottom of the bowl he sees a dead mouse. The homeless man throws up the chili back in the bowl. The man at the bar says "I did the same thing ten minutes ago".

Two guys and their dogs are walking down the street...

...one's got a german shepherd and the other's got a chihuahua.

They get hungry so the german shepherd guy suggests they grab a bite to eat at the restaurant on the corner, but his friend says, "They won't let us into a restaurant with our dogs!"

"Just follow my lead," says the first guy.

He walks up and the maitre'd says, "What are you, nuts?! You can't come in here with a dog!"

"But it's a seeing eye dog," the guy with the german shepherd explains.

"Oh, excuse me, now I understand. Go right ahead," says the maitre'd.

The next guy walks up and the maitre'd stops him too. "You can't come in here with a dog!"

Following his friend's cue the guy says, "But it's a seeing eye dog!"

The maitre'd looks skeptical and says, "Sir - that's no seeing eye dog. It's just a chihuahua."

The guy jumps back in shock... "WHAT!? They gave me a chihuahua!!?"

You can explore hungry leftovers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hungry insatiable dad jokes. There are also hungry puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


You know how sometimes...

You know how sometimes even when you're not hungry you'll get tempted to eat something just because it's in front of you? 

Well, that's how I lost my job as a gynecologist.

A billionaire goes for a drive

... and his Rolls Royce pulls up next to a stoplight, and he notices someone on the side of the road picking grass and eating it. He orders his driver to turn right, and park on the side of the road next to the man. He exits the vehicle and walks up to the man, and asks him, "sir, why are you eating grass?" The man says, "I am hungry, and have no money to eat with, so all I have to eat is grass." The billionaire says to the man, "well then, come with me to my mansion and I'll feed you." The man replies with, "I have children, and a wife." The billionaire replies with, "that's fine, bring them too." The man replies with, "we also live with my brother in law, his wife, and his kids." The billionaire replies, "Bring them all, I'll send to have them picked up." The man asks the billionaire, "why sir are you so kind to us?" The billionaire replies with, "my last lawn crew quit, and the grass in the front acre is nearly 2ft tall."

The Bacon tree

Two Mexican brothers are lost in the desert.
They're hungry and thirsty, and have been walking for miles on end.
Suddenly, Jose yells at his brother. "Brother! Do you smell that? It smells like bacon!"
He rushes ahead, and sure enough, over the next dune, he sees it. A bacon tree. Glorious strips of crispy bacon, glistening in the sun, waiting to be eaten.
Jose runs head long at the tree, just as his brother climbs the dune behind him. Suddenly two machine guns pop out of the bacon tree and cut him down!
He turns to his brother, and with his last breath he yells out
"Brother! Is not a Bacon Tree!"
"Is..."
"Is a..."
"Is a Hambush..."

What's the difference between a $20 prostitute and a $200 prostitute?

When the $20 one swallows, it's because she's hungry.

The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite

So he went back four seconds.

Hungry joke, The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite

Baltimore, eat a snickers.

You turn into Ferguson when you're hungry.

Two vampire bats are hanging from the ceiling of their cave...

... and one of them says he's hungry, so he flies off to find some food. Within a minute, he's back, blood all round his mouth, looking like he's had a really good meal.

The other bat is amazed, and says, "Where did you find so much blood so fast?"

So the first bat says, "Come with me, I'll show you." And he leads his friend to the mouth of the cave.

"See that big rock there?" He asks.

The other bat nods.

"I didn't."

What do you call a not-hungry ethiopian?

Dead.


What did the group of unborn babies say when they were hungry?

Fetus.

The woman and her chili.

A man walks into a bar and notices a woman sitting at a table. In front of her on the table is a full bowl of chili. Since the man is very hungry, he asks her if he can have her chili. She agrees, giving him the bowl. The man starts to quickly put spoonfuls into his mouth. As he gets to the end of the chili, he sees a dead rat at the bottom. This causes him to vomit back into the bowl.

In response, the woman said: "Yep, that's about as far as I got too."

I got really hungry when we visited the Alpaca Farm,

next time Alpaca lunch.

The wife

My wife has left me because she says I treat her like one of my pets...

She'll be back when she's hungry.

I was so hungry this morning I almost ate a clock....

I didn't because it's time consuming. Also, I'd have to go back for seconds.

I'm here all day..

Three vampires are sitting on the graveyard wall.

Three vampires are sitting on the graveyard wall.

The first says that he is really hungry and flys into the night. After half an hour he returns and his mouth is full of blood. The other two ask him: "where did you get that?" He answers: "Do you see that little light across the hill? It was a little family at a camping trip. Delicious!" 

The second vampire starts in the air and returns 15minutes later, the whole face covered with blood. The others ask jealousy: "Where have you been?" Smiling he answers: "You guys see that group of lights down there? It was a wedding with over 20guests. I don't have to eat for a week!"

Finally the third vampire starts into the dark sky, and returns about five minutes later. His whole body, top to bottom is covered in blood.

Exited the other two ask:"Man where did you go?!" 

"Do you see that tree right there?"

"Yes"

"Well, I didn't"

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?

Very hungry.

The waiter came up to our table.

He said, "Can I take your order?"

I said, "Sure."

He said, "Thanks, I'm just really hungry."

What does a time traveler do when he's hungry?

He goes back 4 seconds.

The Lion with Christian feelings

Once upon a time... there was a missionary walking along the savannah when he suddenly encountered himself with a very hungry lion.

Scared to death, the missionary went down on knees and prayed "Oh dear Lord, please come down and give christian feelings to this poor criature".

After one second, the miracle occurred: the lion knelt down and prayed "Oh dear lord, bless this food you have provided me".

They say never go food shopping when you're hungry

but it's been over a week now and every day I just get hungrier.

Why do we let women and children off a sinking ship first?

So the sharks aren't hungry anymore.

They say you're not supposed to go to the grocery store when you're hungry.

It's been several days now, what should I do?

I am still waiting for Trump to eat a Snickers ...

... so he becomes Obama again

You're not you when you're hungry

Two men are lost in the desert

Two men are lost in the desert. They are both severely dehydrated and extremely hungry. While stumbling over a particularly large sand dune, one man spots a tin of fig-flavored altoids.
Desperate for any sustenance, he stumbles ahead and grabs the tin, but realizes it was only a mirage.

He turned to the man behind him and said, "I guess it was just a fig mint of my imagination."

I saw a man on the street with a sign saying he was hungry.

I told him I had an extra sandwich and he could pick which one he wanted, turkey or roast beef. He looked at both sandwiches for about 30 seconds, them threw up his hands and ran off.

I wondered for a second, then I remembered,

"Beggars can't be choosers"

Saw a homeless man eating grass in the park...

Asked him "Why are you eating grass?"

He said "I am very hungry."

"Oh. Okay then. Come with me."

You should've seen his face when I showed him my backyard.

Did you hear about Shiela the hungry 32 year old?

She eight and eight and eight and eight

A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips...

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

So there's these two beavers...

one is named Joe and the other, Steven. Joe and Steven have a fire. Joe decides he's hungry so he grabs a pan and some sticks.

Steven runs over and says "Joe what are you doing?" And says "im just grilling up some sticks."

Steven immediately smacks the pan from Joe's paw and says

"JOE THATS A NON STICK PAN"

What did the homeless guy get for christmas?

Pretty hungry

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are driving through the desert.

The car breaks down, and they've got no cell reception, so they have to walk to get help. The brunette says "I'll grab the bottled water in case we get thirsty." The redhead says, "I'll grab the snacks in case we get hungry."

The blonde rips the drivers side door off its hinges. "I'll take this door, so if we get hot, I can roll the window down."

What does a clock do when its hungry?

It goes back 4 seconds.

George and the Dragon

A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked.

The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some food?" he asked.

The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition.

"No!" she said rather sternly.

"Could I have a pint of ale?"

"No!" she snapped again.

"Could I at least sleep in your stable?"

"No!"

By this time, she was fairly shouting.

The vagabond tried again: "Might I please...?"

"What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently.

"Do you suppose I might have a word with George instead?"

They say to never go shopping for food when you're hungry

but it's been a week already and I keep getting hungrier and hungrier.

What did the hungry clock do?

It went back four seconds.

Two blondes go deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree...

After hours and hours of sub-zero temperatures, a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turns to the other and says, "Enough is enough! I'm chopping down the next tree I see! I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

A dad joke

"Dad I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry, I'm dead."

"Haha, you mean dad."

"No. I have inoperable brain cancer."

"...wha-"

"I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."

My kids were hungry so I made them burgers from scratch.

They got really upset and started to cry.

Scratch is a stupid name for a cat anyway..

It's stupid when girls say they can't find a guy, yet they ignore me.

It's like saying you're hungry when there's a hotdog on the ground outside.

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker...

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker.

"Sir, I am very hungry. I am willing to clean your entire cheese shop for a pound of cheddar. "

The cheesemaker thinks for a moment, decides, and nods. "Forthwith!"

The little boy grabs a broom and vigilantly begins cleaning.

At the end of the day, the little boy shows the cheesemaker his fine work. The cheesemaker, approving of the poor boy's efforts, hands him a pound of Swiss cheese.

"But I said I would clean your shop for a pound of cheddar!" protested the boy.

And the cheesemaker replies, "And I thaid for thwith."

I'm so hungry I could eat my watch.

But that would be time consuming

California Condor

A man was in court the other day accused of shooting and killing a California Condor. The judge asked the man, "Why on Earth would you kill one of the magnificent creatures?" The man replied, "Your honor, I have been out of work for quite a while and me and my family were hungry with nothing to eat and I looked up and saw this big bird over head so I shot it down and fed my family with it." The judge said, "That is a tough story. I am sorry for your situation and I will certainly take it into consideration when I sentence you, but by the way, I am a little curious as to what it tastes like." The man replied, "It's really not bad. Kind of a mix between a spotted owl and a baby seal."

My five-year-old, everyone.

My insanely witty five-year-old, ladies and gentlemen:

 

Step-daughter: "I'm hungry."

Me: "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad."

Her: "Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?"

Me: "Aw why not, sweets?"

Her: "Because I don't like it when you call me names like hungry or thirsty or anything!"

Me: "Alright, I'm not going to say that anymore."

Her: "Nice to meet you, not going to say that anymore."

 

I had just been out-dad-joked by my five-year-old. It was so unexpected, and was the first time I think I recognized how hilarious she was with her wit. I really miss her (because of a divorce, not a funeral).

What happened when 50 got hungry?

58

When I was a child, I didn't like eating sprouts.

I told my mom I wasn't hungry.

She said:
the children in Africa would be happy with sprouts!

I replied:
and the moms in Africa would be happy with a child that's not hungry!

What do programmers do when they're hungry?

They grab a byte

Do you know what 50 cents did when he got hungry?

58

4 Monks are being chased by a Hungry Lion!

4 Monks are being chased by a Hungry Lion. As they run, they cry out to God yelling, "PLEASE LORD! CONVERT THIS LION TO BE A CHRISTIAN LION!"

They run until they reach a dead end.

They hungry lion approaches slowly, as they cry out louder:

"PLEASE LORD HEAR OUR PRAYERS AND CONVERT HIM!"

They lion stops walking, and the monks praise God.

The lion kneels down, puts his paws together and says:

"Bless us, O Lord, and these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive through thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord, Amen."

At the tube station earlier I saw a homeless man sitting on the floor with a three legged dog next to a sign that read: Help, I'm starving.

He can't be that hungry, he hasn't even finished his dog.

There are three men walking in the desert

The first man is carrying a glass of water. The other two men asked him why?

The man replied if we get thirsty, we can drink it.

The second man is carrying a bowl of rice. The other two men ask why.

The man replied if we get hungry, we can eat it.

The third man is carrying a car door. The other two men asked him why.

The third man replied if we get too hot, we can roll down the window.

Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something simple.

Server: "Maybe the chicken strips for five dollars?"

Me: "Maybe it does, but I'd still be hungry after."

From my 6 yo. What do you call a squirrel that doesn't eat nuts?

Hungry

Not very hungry

Me: "I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"

Server: "... maybe the chicken strips for $6?"

Me: "... maybe it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger."

Random dad across the restaurant: "GOOD ONE!"

A vacuum cleaner salesman came to my door, poured a bag of dog shit on my carpet and said, "Sir, if this vacuum can't clean it completely, I'll eat whatever's left."

I said, "I hope you're hungry 'cause they cut off the electricity this morning."

Drug use?

A monster was feeling kind of hungry and he knew that they served food at the local bar. He walks into the bar and sees a couple girls sitting at the bar. He walks up and gobbles one of the girls down. The other girl who was a cop, pulls out a badge and says, "You're under arrest for murder and drug use!" The monster looks at her and says, "Drug use?" The cops says, "Yea! That was a bar bitch you ate!"

Newborn baby's first meal

My newborn son is having trouble with breast feeding. For some reason we can't get him to latch on. The lactation specialist, midwife, nurses and doctors have tried everything to help. We're frustrated the baby is hungry so I'm going to give up and let my wife try.

I wasn't very hungry today so I stopped by McDonald's and grabbed a kids meal.

Boy was he and his mom pissed.


Maybe it was a mcsteak

A hungry 20 year old white guy asks: Ma'am, do you serve crackers?

The server replies: Honey we serve everybody. .

Why was the rocket hungry?

It was almost launch time.

How much does it cost to stop a hungry bear from eating you?

An arm and a leg

Why was the teddy bear never hungry?

Because he was always stuffed

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hungry starve jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hungry eat piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes