hunger Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious hunger puns

What do they call the Hunger Games in France?

Battle Royale with Cheese.

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Mahatma Gandhi was a strange person.

He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very smelly breath.

He eventually became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Hunger Games : Mockingjay

For the last installments of the Hunger Games series, the director has decided to make a change. In the new movies, Philip Seymour Hoffman will unexpectedly be killed by the heroine.

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The cashier at the local grocery store asked me if i wanted to donate 2$ to end world hunger, i was like HELL YEAH!

I had no idea we were this close! I'm gonna be a god damn hero!

Joke by Matt Donaher

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When does a hunger strike stop?

When hunger strikes.

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What does Africa hunger and a mercedes have in common?

Princess Diana couldn't stop either.

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2 bats are hanging upside down in a tree when one suddenly flys off.

5 minutes later the bat comes back with blood all over his face and dripping out of his mouth.

The other bat with a burning hunger looked at him and asked, How the hell did you get that this early in the morning??

The other bat says, Do you see that big tree over there to the left?

Yes! Replies the other bat excitedly.

Well I didn't

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A joke my brother made up when he was 13...

Two men were marooned on an island with no food.

After a week, they are both starving. To solve the issue of hunger, one of the men suggests that they cut off each other's legs and eat them to survive.
The other man agrees.

The first man, after a bloody and gruesome struggle, saws off the second man's legs. The second man, pale and weak, says to the first man. "Alright, now let's get your legs off"

The first man runs away and yells "you have to catch me first!"

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How many feminists does it take to make a sandwich?

12

One to make the sandwich,

One to excoriate men for creating hunger,

One to blame men for inventing such a laborious recipe,

One to suggest the whole "putting meat in between two non-consenting flaps of bread" bit to be too "rape-like",

One to deconstruct the Bologna sausage itself as being phallic,

One to blame men for not making the sandwich,

One to blame men for trying to make the sandwich instead of letting a woman do it,

One to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from eating,

One to blame men for creating a society where women make too many sandwiches,

One to advocate that sandwich makers should have wage parity with Michelin star chefs,

One to alert the media that women are now "out-sandwiching" men,

And one to take pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.

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So Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the new Hunger Games . . .

If anything can bring him back, it's some powerful heroine.

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Mahatma Ghandi

Mahatma Gandhi was a peculiar person. He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very bad breath. He became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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A man finds a lamp...

A man finds a lamp lying on the beach, and when he picks it up, he is startled when a genie comes out of it. The genie intones "For granting me my freedom, sir, I will grant you one wish." The man figures that if he only gets ONE wish, he should probably use it for the greater good, and requests "Oh genie, please make the changes necessary to end world hunger." The genies agrees, and goes off to research how this might be done.

However, 24 hours later, the genie returns, saying "I'm sorry, but world hunger is just too large and pervasive an issue, this is beyond the scope of even my powers - do you have another wish?" The man thinks for a minute and states "If you can't feed the world, perhaps we can power it - can you grant me the knowledge and plans for cold fusion, so that humanity might have a cheap energy source?" The genie agrees to look into that, but 12 hours later comes back with no success - the technology is beyond what he can do using earth's modern technology.

So the man states: "If I cannot make a world-wide change, then perhaps a local one might be easier - Genie, please bring peace in the middle east." Five minutes later the genie returns, and asks "What were those first two wishes, again?"

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What do they call the Hunger Games in Africa?

Games

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The Trump Years in a Nutshell

2016: Trump doesn't stand a chance.
2017: Trump's still trying?
2018: "Hey, are you guys going to watch the hunger games tonight? I hope my district wins"

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World hunger is getting ridiculous

There's more fruit in my shampoo than an African village

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How do you end world hunger?

Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary.

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What do they call the Hunger Games in Ethiopia?

Games.

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A poor couple...

A poor couple try their best to make ends meet. Times were hard, and there were days when the couple couldn't afford to eat. To curb their hunger, the couple would have sex.

One evening, the husband comes home from work and finds his wife humping the arm rest of the couch. Perplexed, the husband asks what she was doing. The wife responds, "nothing, just heating up your dinner."

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A professor of a class...

...is giving a lecture to a very diverse group of students: an African student, a Haitian student, a Chinese student, and an American student. He says to the class, "Today we are going to have an open discussion about the relief of world hunger in other countries."

The African student says, "Hunger? What's that?"

The Haitian student says, "Relief? What's that?"

The Chinese student says "Open discussion? What's that?"

The American student says "There are other countries?"

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The Hunger Games is like Soccer.

Everyone runs around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand.

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A CNN reporter is in Israel

She see's a man praying by the Wailing Wall. She walks up to the man and begins interviewing him.

"Sir, how long have you been praying here"

Looking at his watch, the man replies, "I have been praying here for 60 years, 3 months, 17 days, and 3 hours"

"Sir, what have you been praying for"

"I have been praying for world peace, an end to hunger, an end to famine, an end to AIDS, and goodwill towards all men"

The reporter then asks," Sir, how do you think its going"

The man looks her straight in the eye, and says "It's like I'm tlking to a fucking wall"

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Somewhere out there, there is a world with no war, no hate, no hunger, and no poverty.

It also has no oxygen.

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Ghandi joke

As I'm sure you've heard, Gandhi, a very spiritual man, used hunger strikes and peaceful marches as tactics to bring attention to the plight of his people. Unfortunately, this had some negative effects on his health and well being. Besides overall weakness due to lack of food, persistent near starvation caused him to have truly awful breath. The constant walking, typically bare foot or in light sandals, gave him endless bunions and corns on his poor feet.

So it would be fair to say that he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

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Hunger Games.

Zimbabwe's favorite pastime.

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Everyone seems worried about global warming and world hunger...

...but the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.

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Ghandi Poppins

I learned some interesting things about Ghandi recently:

He worked a lot in his garden and walked around with bad sandals, making his skin very hard and stiff.

He went on several hunger strikes, making him quite frail.

He was a Hindu spiritual leader, and therefore had many arcane thoughts and teachings.

Also, India didn't have very good oral hygiene materials in Ghandi's day, so he often had very bad breath.

This all makes Ghandi a "super-calloused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis".

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While climbing barefoot up mountains to meditate, Ghandi would squeeze garlic into his mouth to deal with hunger pains from fasting

super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis

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If you could own the entirety of Bill Gates' fortune or solve world hunger,...

what color would your Lamborghini be?

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Latvian man dies of hunger.

He sees St Peter at Pearly Gate. St Peter give him bread and say, "Struggle over now". Man cry from happy. But, look again! St Peter is really devil, and bread have worm. Struggle continues.

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An Irishman, a English woman, and an American man are all at a meeting with ambassadors of the world, discussing world hunger

The ambassador from Germany welcomes everyone, and begins clapping his hands slowly. After about a minute he says, "every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

The American says, "our country would be willing to donate food and other supplies to Africa to help this issue."
The English woman says, "our nation would be willing to send care workers to help families in poverty.
The Irishman screams out "I'll kill the fucker clappin' his hands and stop the deaths once an for all!"

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I'm hungry

A boy walks up to his dad.
"Dad I'm hungry."
"Hi hungry!"
"Dad I'm serious."
"I'm sorry serious, I thought you were hungry."
The boy then dies of hunger.

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What do you call a Somalian on hunger strike?

A Somalian

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As a Harry Potter fan, I dream of going to Hogwarts.

My friend is a Narnia fan, and he's always wanted to go to Narnia.

My other friend is a Hunger Games fan, but he's good.

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How do you solve world hunger and poverty simultaneously?

By feeding the poor to the hungry.

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When Gandhi was on his first hunger strike

People would routinely bring him flattened bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, sometimes leaving bruises and welts. He justified it by saying it was all a part of his philosophy of naan-violence.

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What are the best Hunger jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Hunger? Well, here are the best Hunger dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Hunger pick up lines to share with friends.

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