Hundred Kid Jokes
9 hundred kid jokes and hilarious hundred kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hundred kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hundred Kid Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good hundred kid joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Every year, hundreds of kids are shipped off to mime school...
...never to be heard from again.
An elderly man was out on a drive...
An elderly man was out on a drive when he received a phone call from his wife.
"Honey, be careful. I just heard on the radio that one idiot out there is driving the wrong way on the highway."
To which he replied, "Are you kidding me? There are hundreds of them!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an anti-vaxxer couple and their kids on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call ten anti-vaxxer families on the moon?
A bigger problem.
What do you call a hundred anti-vaxxer families on the moon?
An even bigger problem.
So how about ALL the anti-vaxxer families on the moon?
Problem solved.
When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend
Now thanks to social media I have hundreds of them!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Santa's Jokes
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can h**...-h**...-h**....
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd's outfit is on a mobile/ cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
There once was a women who had a hundred children..
There once was a woman who had a hundred children. She named each of them after numbers, in the order they were born. All of them died except for Ninety.
Ninety went off to have some children of her own. Her kids were very kind, and one day they found an injured dog. They took the dog home but never told their mother, fearing she would kick the dog out. In fact, they never told anyone about the dog. To further keep the puppy secret from the world, they named the dog This, so that its name could be used in conversation without arousing suspicion.
One day the dog ran away, and they never saw This again. But nobody else knew about This. Nobody knew that a dog named This had even existed.
Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Clock warehouse
A kid goes walking in the woods and stumbles a upon a warehouse. He goes inside the warehouse and there are hundreds of large grandfather clocks. After walking around a little he sees a wizard and he asks the wizard what the clocks are for. The wizard tells him that each clock is assigned to a different person, and whenever the person is m**... the hands of the clock move. They walk around some more and the kid sees a clock that is away from the rest of the clocks over by a window and its spinning fast. The boy asks the wizard if that clocks broken because its spinning so fast and isn't stopping. The wizard says no, the clocks fine, it's just assigned to your mother. We use it as a fan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man and his dog walk into a bar...
and he says to the bartender, "Hey! How much you wanna bet that my dog can talk?"
The bartender Replies, "There is no way your dog can talk! 100$ says your wrong!"
The man agrees to the bet and asks his dog, "Hey Rosco, what goes on the top of a house to keep the rain out?"
The dog says, "Roof!"
The bartender gets really mad and says, "Are you kidding me? You think I'd give you a hundred dollars for that? Try again or I am k**... you out!"
The man agrees again and asks his dog, "Hey Rosco, who was the best baseball player of all time?"
The dog replies "Ruth!"
The bartender kicks them both out of the bar, and tells them to never come back!
The dog looks at his owner and asks, "Dimaggio?"
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons.
One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble.
One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek.
Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred.
Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes.
Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?"
"Playing a game," the boy replied.
"What is your name?" the officer questioned.
"Mind Your Own Business."
Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!"
The boy replied, "Why, yes."
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