Humour Jokes
135 humour jokes and hilarious humour puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about humour that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these light-hearted humour jokes! Humour in uniform, humour club, humour orphan, humour train, and humour best morning, plus humorous takes on calculus and mathematics - whether you like clever jokes or slapstick humour, or something more racial, there's something for everyone!
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Funniest Humour Short Jokes
Short humour jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The humour humour may include short humor jokes also.
- What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team? A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...
Bit of British humour right there ;) - How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. We are efficient and dont have humour.
- You always claim Germans don't have humour, but we have. It's just like healthcare. Most Americans don't get it.
- Where do naughty rays of light go? Prism
(Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.) - How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They are efficient and lack a sense of humour.
- I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet" It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!
(England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...) - How many Germans ... How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, because we are efficient and do not have a sense of humour. - Americans have a terrible sense of humour I mean, their healthcare is a joke and most of them don't even get it.
- Self-deprecating humour is the lowest form of entertainment. And I can't even get *that* right.
- What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
It's my cake day humour me.
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Humour One Liners
Which humour one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with humour? I can suggest the ones about comedy and amusement.
- dark Humour is like anti-vax families There's usually a dead baby.
- Someone asked me how dark my humour is Dark enough to get six warning shots in the back
- Dark humour is like food. Not everybody gets it.
- I love self deprecating humour I'm just not great at it myself
- Dark humour is like a kid with cancer... ...it never gets old.
- Bathroom humour is not my favorite type of humour... but it's a solid #2.
- I love self-deprecating humour. But I'm not very good at it.
- Humour is what separates us from the animals. And the feminists.
- Black humour is like children with cancer.. ..it never gets old
- Why is dark humour, and food so similar? Because not everyone gets it.
- This morning I woke up to a tap on my front door. My plumber has a weird sense of humour.
- Why do blind people get so offended by every joke? It's all dark humour.
- Dark humour is like Free health care Not everyone gets it.
- What do you call a woman with a yeast infection and a sense of humour? A fun-gal.
- This morning there was a tap on the front door Funny sense of humour, that plumber.
British Humour Jokes
Here is a list of funny british humour jokes and even better british humour puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between Amrican and British humour? The spelling (This joke is better said out loud) (Aw frick. That's a heck of a typo)
- Where did the policeman live? (Warning: British humour) 999 letsby avenue
- Why is British comedy better than American comedy? Because Americans leave u out of the humour
- If communism would adapt English, they would adapt to British English. ColOURs, FlavOURs, FavOURite and humOUR.
- Request: Your best British vs American jokes Reading jokes it occurs to me how different humour is on the other side of the pond. What's your favourite British vs American jokes?
- British sense of humour
Toilet Humour Jokes
Here is a list of funny toilet humour jokes and even better toilet humour puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Toilet humour... That U-bend behind the toilet.....i just can`t get my head around that..
- I wanted to bring back toilet humour... ...So I set out to write a new f**... joke. I decided not to share it because it was too long winded.
- Toilet humour While on vacation in France I drank a lot of wine.
To the point that my u**... turned black.
I talked to a doctor, and told him,
I pee now noir.
Humour Orphan Jokes
Here is a list of funny humour orphan jokes and even better humour orphan puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Family Doctor (Dark Humour) Why couldn't the family doctor help little Sarah?
She was an orphan.
The Funniest Humour Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about humour you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sense humor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make humour pranks.
a little french humour
There once was a cat named une deux t**...
One day une deux t**... ran away from home, he found himself at a cross roads and decided that he wanted to see the other side of the river. He got onto the bridge and then a few seconds later. . . . the bridge collapsed!
So une deux t**... quatre cinq
Why are there no black people in "The Jetsons"
Because it's going to be a great future.
Looks like I'm in the doghouse again..
Last night whilst the wife was asleep I swapped her tampax for a party popper.
No sense of humour whatsoever!
Why are eye jokes worse than toe jokes?
Because toe jokes may be cheesy, but eye jokes are cornea.
A little Harry Potter humour...
How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?
You-knew-who
I've got a friend who's a psychopath and he's got a brilliant sense of humour.
He kills me!
I find humour in the simple things...
That's why I am banned from all Special Olympics events.
Statistics humour
The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, "Where's your other friend". The median says, "We don't like him anymore. He's mean."
People tell me my humour is offbeat
but they get weirded out if you walk around with a metronome.
[DARK HUMOUR] What do you call a fat baby?
Quite a mouthful.
Dark sense of humour is like legs
not everyone has them
How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
**One.**
They're very efficient and don't have a great sense of humour.
Alright guys lets make a thread about the sickest most twisted dark humour joke you've ever heard.
What's the difference between a small child and a bag of c**...?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of c**... fall out of a window.
The Flintstones
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour,
but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Dave
Dave who?
Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.
Note: This anti-joke is submitted to commemorate the new Alzheimer's treatment, and the immanent loss of a source of much comedic humour - aged dementia.
First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door
First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door
My plumber has a funny sense of humour
You'd be surprised how easy it is to pick up girls
All it takes is a respectful attitude, a low key v**..., a breezy sense of humour, a nice beard, duct tape, and a baseball bat.
Dark Humour is like food.
Some people don't get it.
A dark sense of humour is like food.
Not everyone has it.
Hippocrates and the Prophet
Tiresias, blind prophet of Apollo, once went to Hippocrates with a serious case of depression. In no time, Hippocrates had figured it out -- "Aha!" said he; "an imbalance of black bile!" He bled the excess melancholia into an urn and handed it to the prophet. Tiresias did not see the humour.
Cephalopod humour
How much does it cost to treat an ill octopus?
Six Quid....
What do refugees and black humour have in common?
They are crossing borders and some people feel offended by them.
The thing I love most about dad jokes...
...is how they keep pushing the boundaries of humour father and father.
Dark humour is like dead children..
- it never gets old.
A son asks his father 'what's a joke?'
'It's when you disparage any group with whom you disagree, confirming the existing bias of you and your audience.'
'But Mum says jokes satirise our shared biases, prompting us to think differently.'
'Well what would she know, women aren't funny.'
'Oh dad, you've got such a good sense of humour. I wonder why Mum divorced you?'
My favourite jokes are one liners about launderettes
What can I say, I love dry clean humour.
Most people don't enjoy puns. Wordplay almost feels like an emotional knife stab to them. But at least they appreciate my humour when I get home
It just goes to show you, the only good pun is a dad pun
Why do I watch the Cosby show?
I enjoy dark humour.
Yes, this was both a r**... and racial joke.
Which profession has the worst sense of humour?
Well, chiropodists like *corny* jokes.
But opticians like them *cornea*.
Why don't Germans like humour?
Because it's inefficient!
Where would we be in the world without humour?
Germany.
I'm looking for a "rule of three" type joke for some German friends
I hear they like drei humour
Q: What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?
A: An Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.
If you lose one senses, your other senses become stronger.
That's why people without a sense of humour have such a high sense of self importance
What do you get when a clown dies in a desert?
Dry Humour.
I'm not keen on Neanderthal comedy.
It's very low-brow humour.
So apparently "self-deprecating humour" is what's popular now...
And I'm really not that good at it.
Making fun of a short's person height is cruel and requires no ability...
... one could even say it's the lowest form of humour.
I love self deprecating humour...
Too bad i s**... at it.
Dark Humour is like a child with cancer
They aren't needed in an ideal society.
Which type of people are the world's fastest readers [DARK HUMOUR]
9/11 victims. They went through more than 50 stories in 10 seconds.
My friend got offended when I insulted his broken lamp...
Then again dark humour isn't his thing
Self-Depricating humour is the best kind of humour
Too bad Im not good at it.
Australian humour.
This Australian guy just said to me, I just saw a Man playing "Dancing Queen" on a didgeridoo, I thought to myself that's Abbariginal.
What is similar between dark humour and a child with terminal cancer?
It never gets old.
My wife took off her clothes last night and said,
"what turns you on more, my pretty face or my s**... body?"
I said, "your sense of humour"
Self deprecative humour is a bit like s**....
Generally speaking, I just don't get it.
f(x) walks into a bar
The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't cater for functions".
f'(x) walks into a bar... Wait, isn't this the same joke? No, it's derivative humour.
What does dark humour and food have in common?
Some people don't get it
I know many handicapped people with a great sense of humour.
Shame they don't do stand-up comedy.
Jokes about Google - give me your best!
e.g. Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
The darker the humour, the better...but whatever comes to mind, just drop it here!
Dark humour is like 9/11
You never know when its coming
Turkish Political Humor
Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter
How many Germans do you need to change a lightbulb?
One, they're efficient and have no humour
If you lose one sense your other senses are enhanced
That explains why people with no sense of humour have a heightened sense of self importance
I asked my doctor friend if he ever slept with a patient...
He had the audacity to get MAD!
Man, vets really have no sense of humour...
Dark Humour isn't that popular anymore....
Is my way of telling my Black Friend he's not funny.
How much humour does a woman of the church have?
Nun
You know the 2 things that never get old?
Dark humour and unvaccinated children
Accent humour, mate!
It's the year 2022, WWIII has started. 1st world countries vs 2nd world countries and Middle East. Britain asks for reinforcement from Australia. The Australian regiment arrives and next morning starts preparing while the British Commander enters and starts increasing the army's morale:
British Commander: Did you came here *to die*?
Australian Soldier: No sir, we came here *yester-die*.
How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
One. They don't have a sense of humour.