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Hummus Jokes

41 hummus jokes and hilarious hummus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hummus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Hummus Short Jokes

Short hummus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hummus humour may include short guacamole jokes also.

  1. We just got home from karaoke. My wife tried to sing with a mouth full of chick peas I told her to hummus a tune
  2. What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas? Black eyed peas can sing us a song, Chickpeas can only hummus one!
  3. Why should we hire the chickpeas to be part of our choir? They could hummus a song!
    (I was really proud of this one.)
  4. Why did the policeman go to the Lebanese restaurant? He was following up reports of a possible hummus side
  5. Did you hear about the guy they found dead at the Mediterranean restaurant? Yeah, police are calling it a hummus-cide.
  6. Eating Hummus with my co-workers and I asked Hey, what's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
    ... I've never paid $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
  7. Why are black eyed peas better than chick peas? Because Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song, but chick peas can only hummus
  8. Did you hear about the chef that won an award for his chickpea recipe after he died? It was awarded post hummus.
  9. My wife and I found this GREAT chickpea spread..... it's so good we wish it could SING. But all it could do was hummus a tune.
  10. I was taking a dip in the local pool, and the lifeguard said "Hey! What have you got"? "Hummus".

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Hummus One Liners

Which hummus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hummus? I can suggest the ones about salami and yoghurt.

  1. I poisoned my wifes pita dip The police charged me with hummus-cide
  2. A man was found dead in vat of ground chickpeas. Police are considering it a hummus-cide.
  3. What does hummus and a women's restroom have in common? Chickpeas in 'em
  4. What do Israel and Palestine have in common? Both are pro hummus
  5. What do you call it when a chickpea kills someone? Hummus-cide
  6. How much hummus did the anorexic girl order? A tahini bit.
  7. The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song But the Chick Peas can only hummus one
  8. My hummus is never ending. It goes on a naan.
  9. Why did the chickpea get arrested? He committed a Hummus-cide
  10. You can't sing with a mouthful of chickpeas so hummus a tune.
  11. Why was the Chickpea in Prison? He committed Hummus-ide
  12. What do watersports and hummus have in common? Chickpeas
  13. Today I had a second helping of hummus. I was arrested for double hummus-ide.
  14. My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her... Can't believe that chick pea'd herself
  15. Do you know why it's called, hummus? Because it doesn't know the words.

Hummus joke, Do you know why it's called, hummus?

Howlingly Hilarious Hummus Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about hummus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mustard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hummus pranks.

If you are turned on by having a chickpea on you...

...does that make you a hummus s**...?

Why do s**... deviants love hummus?

Because the chickpeas

How is hummus like a g**...?

They're both made of chickpea.

Dad joke: Middle Eastern Restaurant

Dad: Everything was great, can I get the check please?
Waiter: Right away Sir!
*Waiter brings more hummus.
Dad: Check please?
*Waiter brings more hummus.
Dad: Check pease?
*Waiter brings more hummus.

What's in common between a chair and a table?

They are both not hummus
A friend told me this joke and I almost died...

Militant vegans are like militant Muslims with only one major difference.

It's all about the hummus rather than the h**....

Two sides of hummus decided to go out to eat

Two sides of hummus decided to go out to eat. Once they finished eating, they said, "chickpeas!"

I consider myself a hummussexual

I get an e**... every time I see a chickpea.

Hummus joke, I consider myself a hummussexual