Humbleness Jokes
83 humbleness jokes and hilarious humbleness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about humbleness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Humbleness Short Jokes
Short humbleness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The humbleness humour may include short jokes also.
- My New Year's Resolution is to be more humble... Which should be easy as I'm already *really* good at it!
- I purchased a humble potato gun the other day. Turned out it was a weapon of mashed destruction.
- A scoliosis patient had given up hope of recovery.. But after the long and painful surgery, he took his first steps and humbly said "I stand corrected".
- My parents never taught me how to be humble or modest I'm just naturally incredible at it.
- When Bigfoot made love to Scarlett Johansson we expected him to brag about it. Yeti remained humble.
- I'm very successful but I have my humble upbringing to thank For example my father was just a blue collar road worker...but he really paved the way
- I love my beautician. Shes so humble. When I tell her to make me look presentable, she says "Honey, I'm not a miracle worker"
- Thanks alot Kendrick Lamar!!! Now whenever I tell my kids to "Sit Down!" when they are acting up in public, they reply with "Be Humble!"
- My girlfriend told me to humble down shes just jealous of the fact that I'm the most humble man on earth
- A rouge English cavalier from the Middle Ages is magically sent into the future to depose Thailand's most ruthless dictator. One knight in Bangkok makes a hard man humble.
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Humbleness One Liners
Which humbleness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with humbleness? I can suggest the ones about and .
- I'm quite a humble person but I'm not proud of that. That's what I'm proud of.
- I just found out Pride is one of the seven sins. Good thing I'm so amazingly humble.
- My favorite thing about myself is that I'm humble.
- My late grandpa used to hate looking in the mirror Humble man, terrible driver
- i got an award for being humble. I obviously didnt accept it.
- I'm good at everything except being humble Because I'm great at it
- Have you heard about the humble farmer? He's a grower, not a shower.
- I don't know why people call me arrogant I'm the most humble guy in the world
- I never brag You could say I'm the most humble person in the world.
- I am pretty humble guy I've got my three legs on the ground
- I like to think of myself as a humble man. Actually, I just like to think of myself.
- Its hard being humble But I bet I'm more humble than anyone else on Earth.
- i'm pretty... ...humble
- I'm a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.
- Wanna hear the story about Nikon's humble beginnings? Don't worry, it's all Canon!
Humbleness Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about humbleness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make humbleness pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From the inside they head a Pakistani accent say, "you foreigners come in.
Come in my humble shop." so the married couple walked in.
The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in.
They make you wild at s**... like a great dessert camel"
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being a s**... hero he as.
The husband, "how could sandals make you into a s**... freak?"
The Pakistani man replied, why don't you see for yourself?"
Well , the husband after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on.
As soon as he slipped then onto this feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in years-- raw s**... power.
In a blink of an eye the husband rushed of too the Pakistani man threw him on the table and started tearing at the guy's pants.
All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home.
But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really n**..., so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson.
He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet.
The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
How do I stay humble? Well, it's not easy, but I start by being generally bad at almost all things.
There once was a humble florist living in a small town...
He would sell his beautiful flowers to the townspeople every day. One day, some friars moved into the nearby, previously empty abbey. These friars, however, grew their own beautiful flowers to sell to pay for their expenses, and these flowers were grown in such abundance and sold so much that the florist was rapidly losing money.
A man in town noticed the poor florist's distress and offered him some help. "Hey, I know a guy named Hugh that can help you out here. See that big guy over there? That's him. By tomorrow he'll have dealt with these friars' intrusive business practices."
"Alright" said the florist, "I can't thank you enough." Though he had his doubts, he tried to trust the man.
The next morning as he went to his shop he noticed the friars had already packed up their things and were long gone. He found that man and asked, "How? How did you do it??"
"Simple" he stated, "Hugh, and *only* Hugh can prevent florist friars."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Magic sandals
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at s**....'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the s**... God that he was.
The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a s**... freak?'
The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.
The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'
What do you call a group of JD Salingers?
A Humble Hindi Bundle.
A physicist, engineer, and a mathematician are in a hotel...
A physicist, engineer, and a mathematician are in a hotel in 3 separate rooms. All 3 of their waste paper baskets catch on fire and wake them up from their humble slumber.
The physicist sees the fire and thinks quickly! He calculates the amount of water needed to put out the fire, and douses it with water. The fire goes out and he goes back to bed.
The engineer sees the fire and thinks quickly! He draws, designs, and constructs a larger bucket to suffocate the fire. The fire goes out and he goes back to bed.
The mathematician sees the fire and thinks quickly! He gets out a pad of paper and a pen and starts calculating. After a few minutes he yells "ahah! This problem has a solution!" And goes back to bed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Exorcist Needed!
After buying a so-called haunted house, the new owner discovers it really was. A n**... poltergeist was terrorizing his family.
Calling around, he finally found a guy willing to do an exorcism for $10,000. The new owner asked for terms and the guy agreed to do it for $1000.00 a month.
He came by and voila! The ghost was gone.
Six months in the new owner was getting tired of making payments so he stopped.
Well, sure enough the n**... ghost was back. Realizing that he had no choice, he called the exorcist and humbly asked him to come back.
The exorcist declined, saying, "No can do. Your house has been repossessed!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Belated Teachers' Day
A Belated Teachers' Day
Its A Humble Request
"80% Of Teachers r
Suffering From t**...
Pain By Teaching Students."
So Plz
.
.
.
.
BUNK d Classes As Much
As Possible
And
Save Our Teachers :D
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
OB-GYN
My uncle is a very accomplished OB-GYN. He is also incredibly humble, when asked what he does for a living, he casually responds, 'I'm in the c**... industry. '
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the kind and humble Jew that donated a lot of money to charity?
Neither did I.
There was a runner...
He was the fastest man in the world, and promised to all the chefs in the world that if they could bring him his favorite kind of hot dog while he was on his daily jog, then he would give them free running lessons.
Hundreds of chefs attempted to give him the best recipe after catching him, yet they all failed.
Finally, a humble chef from New York decided to try out. He made his hot dog for this runner and caught up to him.
As soon as the runner took a bite, he was amazed. It WAS the best dog he'd ever eaten. He then asked the chef how he knew the recipe and was able to catch up to him.
The chef was surprised, thinking it was obvious and responded, "Well, I just took my thyme and mustard the energy to ketchup!"
A North Korean farmer is finally rewarded after fifty years of hard labour for the State
A party official visits the farmer in his simple living quarters and proclaims
"Comrade, for your hard work and absolute dedication to the great leader and the Democratic People's Republic, we would like to reward you with a car"
The humble farmer nods silently to show his appreciation, the party official continues;
"As you know, North Korean industry is the the most powerful and efficient in the world, and as such we will have your car delivered to you in exactly 8 years"
The humble farmer then signals to the official to wait, and he crosses the room to check his calendar. After flipping through for some time he finally says;
"Morning or afternoon?"
The party official is rather offended, and remarks "comrade, you are being given a car! And that privilege aside, delivery is 8 years away, what does it matter if its morning or afternoon?"
To which the farmer responds "Well, the plumber is coming in the morning..."
Who would have thought....
Some as humble as I am, could be so important..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tom Swift's best moments.
"German sausage jokes are the wurst," Tom said frankly.
"I got cut in half," Tom said intuitively.
"I will never read Shakespeare," Tom said unwillingly.
"I lost my legs right under the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.
"Who turned out the lights?" Tom asked dimly.
"I don't know the words to this song," Tom said humbly.
"I lost my wrists," Tom said offhandedly.
Humility is one of my best qualities.
I'm probably the most humble person I know; I could talk about my humility for hours.
What's a Democrat's least favorite food?
Humble pie.
Why is Jesus said to be more humble than God?
Because Jesus is more down to earth.
Danes are the most humble people on earth...
Also in this aspect we are the best!
I'm a great American for three reasons
Because I'm:
Brave
Patriotic
Humble
And great at math
What do you call an unselfish vocal sound?
A humble grumble^^My ^^life ^^is ^^failure
Whats a humble substance under a ph of 7 called?
Aaah me? No..... acid
A UFO landed in the Vatican and the friendly Aliens where greeted by the pope
Pope: What a great honour having the first sign of foreign life in the Univers visiting my humble home. Now, let me tell you about our saviour and king in heaven, Jesus Christ, who saved us all and currently we await his return to us.
Alien Leader: Jesus Christ you say? Long hair, beard, always in white clothes and is in his mid-thirties? Sure we know this guy.. great guy! Whenever he visits us he cure our sick, turn some water into wine (great laugh!), show us his walking-on-water-trick and then we throw a great party and serve him pancakes. He pops up every 2 years or so. Anyway, what did you guys do?
Kendrick Lamar's been dropping a lot of false modesty since his grammy win...
you could call it a Humble brag.
What is the most humble force?
Gravity, because it's really down to earth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When Drake gets c**..., he calls me so I can hit him with a one-liner insult to keep him humble...
I'm his Hotline Zing!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are no humble train engineers.
Those c**... b**... are always tooting their own horn.
Stay humble my friend
There once was a man who that grew up humbly, on an island. As he aged, he remained in the same grass hut he built in his youth. He expanded his home through the years, but lived humbly. He only had one vice. He liked purchasing items that belonged to royalty, in particular, thrones. He purchased so many, that he was only able to display his favorites, and stored the rest in an overhead room he built. One day, while sitting in his favorite throne, the ceiling gave way, and over a dozen thrones crashed upon him, killing him. That's why people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
A local monastery decides to test the competence of its nuns.
In an attempt to determine if the nuns at the local monastery are qualified to perform their sisterly duties, the monastery decides to hand out exams.
The majority of the sisters score well but one in particular, sister Encarnacion does outstandingly well.
In an attempt to preserve very humble nature of sister Encarnacion, the head priest decides not to release the results to the staff.
Although Sister Encarnacion did better than everyone else, she was Nun the wiser.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you the humble and inoffensive aardvark, the most harmless animal in existence. As my dad used to say,
aardvark never hurt anyone.
i'm always quick to show off my stupidity but never my intelligence
it's not because i'm humble, but it's becuase i have no intelligence
God and it's Presidents
God recently was looking for humble person, who in an unselfish way with great self-knowledge could help God on Earth make America great again.
Bush, Obama and Trump was invited and went for the job interview with God
God asks Bush: What do you believe in? Bush answers: I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation! Very well , says God. Come sit to my right.
Next, God asks Obama: What do you believe in? Obama answers: I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all. Good , says God. You shall sit to my left.
Finally, God asks Trump: What do you believe in?
Trump answers: I believe you're sitting in my chair.
Before John was a traveling salesmen
Before John was a traveling salesman he worked door to door on foot. He actually came from an upper middle class family but had a healthy work ethic and a humble yet dull nature from aristocratic inbreeding a few generations back..
It was his birthday and his eccentric mother had told John he could have only one of the two presents she bought for him and she would return the other. After cake , John was led out to the front of the house where he saw a beautiful new dark blue four door sedan. The other choice was a fine black stallion of superior breeding . John looked carefully at both options then yelled Gimme the Karma
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing.
As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice." Ole and Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, "There are no fish under the ice." They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, "Are you God?" The voice spoke back, "No ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant."
I was told the other day that I'm very humble...
In fact, I'm the most humble person in history.
Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because she knew she wasn't greater than or less than anyone else.
Donner Party.
Here's a rare treat....an original joke
At work I was talking with a client who brought up the Donner Party and asked if i knew who the were. I replied that yes, I did. They were the group snowbound in the mountains in the 1800s and turned to cannabalism.
I added that they were supposedly humbled by their experience but I always thought they were full of themselves.
Client laughed.
A monk dies and arrives at the pearly gates...
Allowed to enter, he notices a book prominently displayed behind Saint Peter. The monk asked what the book was. Saint Peter replied, "That's the bible as it was *supposed* to be written. The bible on Earth is close, but there are a few minor differences between the two."
"I was a biblical scribe in life; may I read the book," the monk asked humbly.
"Be my guest," replied St. Peter. The monk carefully started reading the tome and was soon absorbed in his task.
A few hours later the monk was crying. "What's wrong," asked the Saint.
"It says cele*brate*! Cele-*BRATE*!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
o**... Roberts dies and goes to heaven.
As he gets to the
pearly gates, St.Peter says, "Next." He replies, "o**...
Roberts." "The o**... Roberts?" "Yes St Peter, the o**...
Roberts." St. Peter says, "Wait here a minute. I know someone
anxious to meet you." He goes away for a few minutes and comes
back with a guy on his arm. "Jesus,this is o**... Roberts." "The
o**... Roberts?" o**... says, "Yes Lord, the o**... Roberts!" Jesus
says, "Boy come with me. I know someone that has been waiting
to see you for years." So Jesus leads him into a small room.
Over in the corner is an old man sitting in a rocking
chair. Jesus says, "Hey dad, this is o**... Roberts." "The o**...
Roberts?" o**... says in a very humble voice, "Yes my Lord. The
o**... Roberts.."
God says, "Boy I've been waiting years to see you. Could
you come over here and take a look at my knee. It's been
bothering me for years......."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man buys a parrot and brings him home.
But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really n**..., so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him, and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
Sherlock Holmes was always reluctant to take credit for solving a mystery
Oh it was nothing, he would say. The police would have solved it in time.
Everyone knew he was just being modest. Be he ever so humble, there's no Police like Holmes.
An Easter joke.
A priest was arguing with a rabbi.
"What is great in our religion", says the priest, "is that there is room for advancement. A humble village priest can become a bishop, an archbishop, a cardinal, who knows?, maybe even the Pope!"
The rabbi answers: "What about the Almighty? Can he become the Almighty?"
"Certainly not!", responds the priest, "what a sacrilegious thought! No mere mortal man can aspire to become the Almighty!"
The rabbi retorts: "One of our boys made it!"