Huma Jokes
108 huma jokes and hilarious huma puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about huma that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Huma Short Jokes
Short huma jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The huma humour may include short khan jokes also.
- Why were Huma Abedin's darkest fears about seduction by Bill Clinton unfounded? Because ultimately it was Hillary who ended up showing her the Huma door.
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Huma One Liners
Which huma one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with huma? I can suggest the ones about presidency and voters.
- What's a terrorists favourite snack? Chips and Hum-as. I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEEEEEK.
- Maybe it was a mistake to keep forgiving Anthony w**...... But hey, she's only Huma.
Witty Huma Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about huma you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean endorse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make huma pranks.
What do humans and octopuses have in common?
Two sets of forearms
Humans are like grapes...
Grapes are green or purple, and a human has colors too. A grape is picked, and eaten by a human. Then we die of old age. I'm not good with metaphors.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
human skin boots
My friend paid $4,000 for human skin boots and pants.
I told him how s**... that was--he could have had the same thing in black for $29.
The Human centipede wasn't that bad really..
...most of it was tongue in cheek.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The human brain is an amazing o**....
It keeps working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks
a year, from before you leave the w**..., right up until you find religion.
He was the best human cannonball the circus ever had.
You seldom meet a man of his caliber.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the humanistic psychologist say at Freud's f**...?
He died at such a Jung age.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A human f**... can be louder than a t**....
I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.
If humans can grow up to 8 feet...
Why do I only ever see them with 2?
How much does a Human shield cost?
One life
When the human cannonball submitted his two week notice the ringmaster had trouble finding another man of his caliber.
The Human Centipede review
I found it a little tongue-in-cheek...
Source: Dad
So the human cannonball decided to quit his job at the circus...
The ringmaster said "Please, no you can't! We'll never be able to find another man of your caliber!"
Who is one human we all love, but is a dogs worst nightmare?
Bob Barker.
The human brain is amazing
It functions 24 hours a day, everyday since we were born and only stops when taking an exam.
What did the Human Torch tell the waiter he wanted at the Jamaican steakhouse?
Filet, mon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New human-like species discovered in South Africa.
Kardashians can't catch a break on a vacation even in Namibia.
Did you know that human meat preserves really well?
It is because it is can-able.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What human o**... would survive the longest in the hunger games?
The liver
If all humans held hands around the equator of Earth
A significant amount of then would probably drown.
The human soul weighs 1.2lbs...
I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work.
Human drinks a vampire's blood. Out of curiosity, the Vampire asks what it tastes like.
"It's irony."
Humans first started practicing circumcision over 15,000 years ago.
There were a lot less complaints once they mastered it.
Can humans justify anything?
Obviously not, just look at Adam Sandler's career.
The human cannonball informs the circus manager that he plans to retire at the end of season.
The distraught manager protests "Where am I going to find another employee of your caliber?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hillary's team is really going all out to get the LGBTQ vote...
They've even convinced Huma to get rid of her w**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Humans are like M&M's.
They might be in all different colors, but they all taste the same when you eat them.
Why do humans have such a hard time dating rich zombies?
Because they have better standards of living.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do Humans Reproduce?
A: s**...
B: s**...
C: s**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm kind of surprised that Hillary Clinton hasn't killed Huma Abadin yet.
Nothing to do with any of the scandals. Just because they're two women who worked together.
99% of humanity Works on the principle of rocket science.
It does not mean , we always aim for the sky;
it means that we do not start work unless our tail is on fire.
Humanity is children of the Sun, but according to Nemesis Theory there is a Second Sun in Our Solar System.
whose name is ''Kim Ir Sen''.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apart from humans, the only creature that has s**... for pleasure is the dolphin...
Do you know how many animals I had to screw to find that out?
The human body is made up of about 60% Water
So I'm not fat, I'm just flooded.
The human body is roughly 60% water.
I'm not fat, I'm flooded...
Human-beings get rich as they grow old:
Silver in Hair;
Gold in Teeth;
Sugar in Blood;
Precious Stones in Kidney;
And a never ending supply of Gas!
Humans are being tested against the new AI program
The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because
ROBOTS CANT RECAPTCHA
Humans share 50% DNA with bananas.
Which means that I'm a fruit *and* a vegetable.
Did you know that humans on average eat more bananas than monkeys?
Nobody I know has ever eaten a monkey before
Did you know: The human brain starts working the moment you're born and never stops until..
your wife asks where you were last night!
Humans are like candles...
they last longer if you don't ignite them.
If every human on the planet participated in a race, who will come in first and second?
Adam and Eve
I'm the humanoid version of Windows95..
I'm slow, past my prime, constantly crashing, and no longer supported.
What does the human torch always order for dinner?
Fillet Mignon!
Humans need 7 filters.
2 for the eyes, 2 for the ears, 2 for the nostrils and a big 1 for the mouth.
If humans are created in the image of god,
then we should be invisible.
Why are humans getting heavier?
There's a lot more of us
In Humanistic Physics, there's a term for the nicest possible path a person can take.
The Mean-Free Path.
...^I^apologize^for^nothing...!
A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar...
The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.
If humans couldn't see yellow color what color would the traffic signals be
The Same.
Red, Green and Faster Green
Humans were never able to fly
until we got it Wright.
Humanity is losing its genuises..
Aristotle died, Newton passed away,
Eisntein died.. and I'm not feeling well today.
What did the human heart get at McDonald's?
Aorta of fries
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For most of human history, our vehicles had an automatic stopping system to take us home and ensure we didn't c**... when we were drunk or sleeping.
Then we got rid of the horse.
What do human reflexes and Nate's dinner have in common?
They're both innate.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Human fetuses are essentially the same as the creature from Alien. Only they take longer to gestate, and if they don't kill you on impact, they'll do it slowly over the course of years...
My mom says such silly things when she drinks hehe
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do humans and vampires have in common?
Both die when you stick a wooden stake in their hearts
Did you know that humans have actually created humanoid robots in 1954?
They called their invention, "Scientology."
I don't know who it was that said humans would never be able to fly
But they definitely weren't Wright
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Human thought
A teacher is teaching the kids that there is nothing quicker than a human thought. All of a sudden, one of the kids gets up and says that she is wrong, so the teacher asks, "What could be quicker, then?"
The kid then says, "Well, last night I overheard my parents having s**... as I was passing by the bedroom. After a short while I heard my dad say, 'Shit, I came quicker than I thought.'"
How humans and animals survived before the 18th century?
Oxygen was discovered only in 1772!
Humans produce around 1/4th the energy that all the life on earth produces per day. The biomass of the Earth produces around 200 terawatts of energy per day, in sugars.
And apparently so does my diet.
Her: If I were the last human on earth, would you date me?
Him: We'll I'd be dead, so no.
The most human thing you'll ever come across is
Inhumanity
Two human can multiply to produce more humans by mating. But two imaginary human can't multiply to produce more imaginary humans.
The resulting human will be negative.
For Humans, fall is a beautiful, colourful season.
but plants chill just shave all the season.
Humans can elope
Fruits cantaloupe.
Humans did NOT evolve from bonobos, okay?
That's an overchimplification.
If humans were trees, how deep would the roots be?
Two feet.
A human and their cat walk into a bar
The bartender says "sorry, no pets allowed", so the human walks out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How is the human body similar to large i**... drug manufacturers?
Cartel-age
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If humans are 95% chimpanzee
Then can humans only rip off 95% of your face???
A human cannonball showed up late to his act.
He was fired.
Its human to make a mistake
Unless it's on CAPTCHA
90% of humans are actually perfect in every way
The other 10% are left-handed.
All humans are catholic
Because they always have mass
If the human body can survive a 50 ft fall
Then why did my girlfriend scream when I pushed her off the roof?
Why didn't the human anatomy professor tell her students they dissected the wrong body?
... She didn't have the heart to tell them.
They say the first human to make it mars will most likely be a woman
This way when the males get there dinner will be ready
When humans pee outside
It's probably the equivalent of ALL CAPS to the canine world.
