huh Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious huh puns

Turned the tables on my 8-year-old son.

Son: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Me: I don't know; how many?

Son: Ten tickles.

Me: Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.

Son: Huh?

Me: Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tell if an octopus is a male octopus?

Son: No; how?

Me: Test tickles.

Son: ...

Son: ...that's inappropriate.


My wife gave me some bad news today

"But," she said, "I bought your favorite soy sauce to help cheer you up."

"Great," I said. "Just Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"

I'm very soy for that pun. I'll just wok away now.


An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser

Barman: Oh, you must be American.

American: You can tell from my order and accent, huh?

Barman: No, because you're the fattest fuck I've ever seen.


And the award for best neckwear goes to...

huh, well would you look at that. It was a tie


So you like limericks, huh?

On the Breast of a woman named Gale

was tattooed the price of her tail

and on her behind

for the sake of the blind

was the same information in braile.


One soldier

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"


A guy walks into a bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."

The bartender tells him, "I used to have a stutter too. Then one day, my wife gave me head, and from that point on I was cured!" The guy gets really excited and runs out the door without ever getting his beer.

The next day, the guy walks back into the bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."

The bartender asks him, "It didn't work, huh?"

The guy says, "N-n-nope. B-but y-your h-h-house is r-r-really n-n-nice."


"Look at this!" I said to my roommate

"What happened?" he replied

"Look, the second, fourth, sixth and eighth plants are growing very healthily, but the other four are getting dry, even though I treated them the same!" I said

"Huh, weird!" he responded "water the odds!"


James Bond is laid off

James Bond is laid off and at the job center, there are only two jobs available, one in a call center and the other in a fabric coloring plant

"Huh, " said Bond, "you expect me to talk?"

"No Mr Bond, " replied the interviewer, "I expect you to dye. "


So God's getting ready to go on vaction...

And he's packing his bag and an angel comes up and asks, "So, where are you going to go for your vacation?" And God says, "Huh, not Earth again, last time I went there I got this Jewish girl pregnant and they haven't stopped talking about it since!'


A woman goes to the doctor...

and says, "Doc, I think these hormone pills you gave me are a little strong. My voice is getting deeper and I'm starting to grow some hair on my chest." The doctor replies, "Hair on your chest huh? How far down does it go?" The woman answers, "All the way to my balls."


A robber breaks into a house where two people are just finishing having sex.

The robber ties the man and woman up. He starts looking around the room for valubles. When he doesn't find any, the robber asks the man

"Where's the good stuff!"

The man replies, "I'll tell you, just untie her and let her go."

Robber: "you love your wife that much huh?"

The man: "No, that's my neighbors wife, mine's on her way home!"


A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar...

The bar tender suprised says "Huh, where'd you get him?"

"Africa" said the parrot


My cute younger brother's contribution.

Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.


One soldier.

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out." As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, Drill sergeant?"


Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film.

One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".


A rich guy and his poor drinking buddy were at the bar before Christmas...

The rich guy, making small talk, goes

"So I got my wife a new diamond ring and a BMW for Christmas. That way if she doesn't like the ring, at least she'll still love the Beemer!"

The poor guy goes:

"Huh, well I got my wife a pair of pantyhose and a dildo. That way if she doesn't like the pantyhose, she can go fuck herself."

(Thanks Dad.)


Magic Window

Two men are sitting in a bar. One says to the other, "That window is magic. To prove it, I'll jump out." He jumps, much to the other man's horror, and plummets 20 floors only to stop and float gently back up. "Amazing, huh? Why don't you try?" The other man is dubious, but eventually decides to jump. He plummets 30 floors and smacks into the pavement. The first man is in hysterics. "You know," says the bartender, "you're a real prick when you're drunk, Superman."


A man walks into a bar ...

And proceeds to order a beer. The bartender says, "Sure, that'll be 25 cents please". The man almost spits out his beer in shock.

"Wow, 25 cents! I'll get some chicken wings too!"

The bartender replies, "That'll be 30 cents!"

"Where is the owner", asks the man, "I want to shake his hand!"

"Upstairs with my sister", replies the barkeep.

"Huh, why?", asks the confused costumer.

"He's doing to her, what I'm doing to his bar."


Did you hear about the first Reich?

Did you hear about the first Reich?

Or the second Reich?

The third Reich?

The fifth Reich?

The eight Reich?

Not even the thirteenth Reich?

Perhaps the twenty first Reich?

Huh. I guess you've never met any Fibbonazis.


A Jewish man walks up to an Asian man...

The Jewish man says

"Hey, your eyes are really squinted, must be hard for you to see, huh!"

The Asian man says

"Well at least I can see my grandparents."


A guy comes home to find his girlfriend packing her stuff...

He says "What's wrong? Are you leaving me?"
She says "That's right! My therapist finally convinced me that you're a pedophile."
He says "Pedophile huh? That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old."


One time I walked into a bathroom and there were no urinals

I thought, "huh... that's strange." The girls that came in after me were apparently pretty freaked out by it too.


A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie appeared.

The genie looked at the man and said, "And what will your third wish be?"

The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish, when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"

"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You have one wish left."

"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women."

"Funny," said the genie, "That was your first wish, too."


Prank Caller- Hello! is your refrigerator running??

Me- No, but the dishwasher is..
Prank Caller- Huh???
Me- Yeah my wife's out on a jog...


The three wishes

Genie: you have three wishes

me: make math go away

Genie: ok, that one's on the house

me: yay, so I still get three wishes?

Genie: huh?


So I was fingering this girl, she said put 2 in so I did.

She said put your whole hand in so I did, next she demanded the other hand so I obliged. Finally she said "now clap your hands" I said "I can't" to which she replied "Pretty tight huh?"


It's dark

Little Johnny likes playing hooky quite often and he hides in his mom's closet until she takes a nap. One day he plays hooky as usual but today a strange guy comes over and he and Johnny's mom have sex. Right as they're finishing up johnny's dad comes home early so the man hides in the closet. The following conversation occurs:
"It's dark in here, huh?"
Shut up kid, I'm hiding.
"Wanna buy my baseball?"
No, shut up!
"I'm gonna tell my daddy on you for what you were doing to my mom"
Fine! I'll buy the damn ball if you shut up. How much?
" 300 dollars"
No way I'm paying that much!
" I'm gonna tell"
Fine, ya rip off! Here.

They swap the money and the ball.

A few days later the strange guy is back at it and Johnny's dad comes home early again and the guy hides in the closet again. The following conversation occurs:
"It's dark in here huh?"
Yeah. Shut up.
" wanna buy a baseball glove?"
No. Not this time.
"I'll tell daddy"
Fine. How much?
" 700 dollars"
No way!
"Yes or I'm gonna scream"

Needless to say, they swap cash for glove.

The next day Johnny's dad asks him if he wants to play catch. Johnny says "that'll be hard to do without my ball and glove." And his dad asks what happened to it. Johnny explains he sold them for $1000.
Infuriated, his dad brings him to church to confess.
He puts Johnny in the booth and the following conversation occurs:
" it's dark in here huh?"
Don't start that shit again you little rip off!


A woman wakes her husband up at 2 AM, saying

"Quick, who's scored the highest number of goals in football, ever?"

"Klose", replied the groggy husband.

"And how many episodes of Breaking Bad are there in total?"

"Huh? Wait, let me...55, no, 62, there's 62 total episodes" he replied.

"Who was that girl in that 'Saved by the Bell' show, Kapowski?"

"Tiffani Thiessen, played Kelly Kapowski"

"And also, when'd that new girl, Sandy, move downstairs again?"

"Two months next Wednesday. What's going on honey?" asked the husband, now irritated.

"Yesterday was my birthday."


Back in the Sovjet days a guy wants to buy a car

The guy goes up to the counter at the Ministry of buying cars.

Guy: I would like to buy a car.

Clerk: Sure thing but it will take 10 years for processing your request. Come back then and your car will be ready for you.

Guy: Ok, morning or afternoon?

Clerk: Huh? what difference does it make, itΒ΄s 10 years from now?

Guy: Well, the plumber is coming in the morning.

Credit goes to Ronald Reagan


A guy goes to the bar on his 21st birthday.

He says to the bartender, "I just turned twenty-one; give me a shot of bourbon!"
The bartender says, "Congratulations!" and pours him the shot. A prostitute approaches the man and says "You've just turned twenty-one huh? Ever been laid, boy?"
The man replies, "No ma'am. My momma always told me those things have teeth." The prostitute laughs and leads him upstairs to her room. She pulls down her skirt and laughs, "You see any teeth down there boy?" He says, "No ma'am; and with gums like those I can see why!"


two conceited people having sex...

...girl says "tight, huh?" guy replys "nah, just full"


A guy was checking out at a supermarket with an attractive young clerk.

She scanned the frozen dinners, the beer, the ramen noodles and kept giving him eyes in between each scan.

As she scanned the condoms she looks and him and says, "Single huh?"

He replies, "yea, how'd you know?"

She says, "Because you're ugly."


A foot and a penis are having a conversation...

The foot says, "I have such a terrible life. Every day I get shoved into a smelly sock and shoe and have to work all day supporting our master."

The penis replies, "You think you have it bad, huh? Every day I get a bag pulled over my head and I'm forced to do push-ups inside a dark, wet cave until I throw up!"


Drug Store Condom Shopping

A man walks up to the counter of a drug store and asks to buy some condoms. The extremely attractive woman behind the counter asks what size he would like.

"Huh, I don't know really. I don't know how to tell."

The woman then asks the man to drop his pants, she reaches over the counter, grabs his penis, then says over the speaker, "Medium condoms to counter 7". The man pays for his condoms and leaves.

A 16 year old boy sees this and decides to try the same thing. He goes up to the counter and asks for some condoms. The woman asks what size he would like, and he says, "Huh, I don't know. I don't really know how to tell."

The woman tells him to drop his pants, she reaches over the counter, grabs his penis, then says over the speaker, "Clean up at counter 7."


What are the most funny Huh jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Huh? Well, here are the best Huh dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Huh pick up lines to share with friends.

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