Heartwarming Huh Jokes that Make You Laugh
Son: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Me: I don't know; how many?
Son: Ten tickles.
Me: Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.
Son: Huh?
Me: Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tell if an octopus is a male octopus?
Son: No; how?
Me: Test tickles.
Son: ...
Son: ...that's inappropriate.
Me: The earth isn't flat!
fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it's the shape of an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn't you?
A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business.
His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!"
"I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"
A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"
The kid ignores him.
"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"
The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."
"Call of Duty, right? I told you I'd bang your mom."
My wife gave me some bad news today
"But," she said, "I bought your favorite soy sauce to help cheer you up."
"Great," I said. "Just Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"
I'm very soy for that pun. I'll just wok away now.
Me: The earth isn't flat
Me: The earth isn't flat.
Fiat earther: Correct.
Me: huh?
Fiat earther: It's shaped like an Italian car.
Me: what?
Fiat earther: You read my name wrong, didn't you?
And the award for best neckwear goes to...
huh, well would you look at that. It was a tie
So you like limericks, huh?
On the Breast of a woman named Gale
was tattooed the price of her tail
and on her behind
for the sake of the blind
was the same information in braile.
One soldier
As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
A guy walks into a bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."
The bartender tells him, "I used to have a stutter too. Then one day, my wife gave me head, and from that point on I was cured!" The guy gets really excited and runs out the door without ever getting his beer.
The next day, the guy walks back into the bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."
The bartender asks him, "It didn't work, huh?"
The guy says, "N-n-nope. B-but y-your h-h-house is r-r-really n-n-nice."
"Look at this!" I said to my roommate
"What happened?" he replied
"Look, the second, fourth, sixth and eighth plants are growing very healthily, but the other four are getting dry, even though I treated them the same!" I said
"Huh, weird!" he responded "water the odds!"
James Bond is laid off
James Bond is laid off and at the job center, there are only two jobs available, one in a call center and the other in a fabric coloring plant
"Huh, " said Bond, "you expect me to talk?"
"No Mr Bond, " replied the interviewer, "I expect you to dye. "
You can explore huh erm reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean huh aah dad jokes. There are also huh puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
So God's getting ready to go on vaction...
And he's packing his bag and an angel comes up and asks, "So, where are you going to go for your vacation?" And God says, "Huh, not Earth again, last time I went there I got this Jewish girl pregnant and they haven't stopped talking about it since!'
Genie: you have three wishes
me: make math go away
Genie: ok, that one's on the house
me: yay, so I still get three wishes?
Genie: huh?
A farmer was milking his cow
At one point, he noticed a fly buzzing in the cows' ear.
Shortly after the farmer looked down at the bucket and noticed a fly swimming in the milk.
"Huh," said the farmer. "In one ear, out the udder."
Me: Sweet dog you got there
Police officer: Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog.
Me: Still in training, huh?
Police officer: What do you mean?
Me: Nevermind
A robber breaks into a house where two people are just finishing having s**....
The robber ties the man and woman up. He starts looking around the room for valubles. When he doesn't find any, the robber asks the man
"Where's the good stuff!"
The man replies, "I'll tell you, just untie her and let her go."
Robber: "you love your wife that much huh?"
The man: "No, that's my neighbors wife, mine's on her way home!"
Drunks
Drunk guy: "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before
the devil knows you're dead!"
Drunk girl: "What's that mean?"
Drunk guy: "It's an Irish toast."
Drunk girl: "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."
Drunk guy: "Huh?"
Drunk girl: "That's
During dinner, I told my wife, I used to be grapes.
Her: Huh?
Me: Sorry. It must be the wine talking.
My cute younger brother's contribution.
Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.
A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar...
The bar tender suprised says "Huh, where'd you get him?"
"Africa" said the parrot
Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film.
One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".
Shopping with my wife
One time I was shopping with my wife when we saw a couple younger-looking women. I made the comment, "Gee, I bet you wish you still had legs like that, huh?" And she just lost her mind. It took me a good twenty minutes to get her to stop crying before I could wheel her out of there and up the ramp into the next store.
A man walks into a bar ...
And proceeds to order a beer. The bartender says, "Sure, that'll be 25 cents please". The man almost spits out his beer in shock.
"Wow, 25 cents! I'll get some chicken wings too!"
The bartender replies, "That'll be 30 cents!"
"Where is the owner", asks the man, "I want to shake his hand!"
"Upstairs with my sister", replies the barkeep.
"Huh, why?", asks the confused costumer.
"He's doing to her, what I'm doing to his bar."
Did you hear about the first r**...?
Did you hear about the first r**...?
Or the second r**...?
The third r**...?
The fifth r**...?
The eight r**...?
Not even the thirteenth r**...?
Perhaps the twenty first r**...?
Huh. I guess you've never met any Fibbonazis.
An astronaut makes coffee
It's an astronaut's first day on the ISS and he's making himself a cup of coffee. He says to a colleague:
"Huh I can't find the milk"
And the other astronaut replies:
"In space no one can, here, use cream"
To be honest, to this day I'm still in love with my last girlfriend.
So it's a pretty good thing she's my wife, huh?
A c**... and a mask are sitting together on a park bench.
A c**... and a mask are sitting together on a park bench. The c**... looks at the mask, and says they won't wear you either, huh?
A Jewish man walks up to an Asian man...
The Jewish man says
"Hey, your eyes are really squinted, must be hard for you to see, huh!"
The Asian man says
"Well at least I can see my grandparents."
Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into George W. Bush.
Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into George W. Bush. Hello, Bush said. Nice weather we're having, huh? Moses took one look at the President, turned, and ran in the other direction.
The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Again he tried to initiate a conversation. Again Moses turned and ran away.
Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed. When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong.
Moses said, The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert.
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie appeared.
The genie looked at the man and said, "And what will your third wish be?"
The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish, when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"
"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You have one wish left."
"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women."
"Funny," said the genie, "That was your first wish, too."
One time I walked into a bathroom and there were no urinals
I thought, "huh... that's strange." The girls that came in after me were apparently pretty freaked out by it too.
Prank Caller- Hello! is your refrigerator running??
Me- No, but the dishwasher is..
Prank Caller- Huh???
Me- Yeah my wife's out on a jog...
An old guy was sitting eating at a local truck stop...
when three big, burly bikers walked in. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere.
The old guy didn't say a word. He just got up and slowly walked out of the truck stop.
"Huh" snorted the first biker. "He wasn't much of a man, was he?"
"Nope" replied their server. "He's not much of a truck driver either. He just backed up and crushed 3 motorcycles with his rig."
So I was f**... this girl, she said put 2 in so I did.
She said put your whole hand in so I did, next she demanded the other hand so I obliged. Finally she said "now clap your hands" I said "I can't" to which she replied "Pretty tight huh?"
Back in the Sovjet days a guy wants to buy a car
The guy goes up to the counter at the Ministry of buying cars.
Guy: I would like to buy a car.
Clerk: Sure thing but it will take 10 years for processing your request. Come back then and your car will be ready for you.
Guy: Ok, morning or afternoon?
Clerk: Huh? what difference does it make, it´s 10 years from now?
Guy: Well, the plumber is coming in the morning.
Credit goes to Ronald Reagan
The blood of virgins
A guy walks into his regular bar and loudly orders a round for the entire bar. "Drink up! For tonight I have bathed in the blood of virgins!" he loudly proclaims. "So, had another nose bleed while you were in the shower today, huh?" the bartender asks.
drug-sniffing dog
Me: "Sweet dog you got there"
Policeman: "Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog."
Me: "still in training, huh?"
Policeman: "What do you mean?"
Me: "nevermind"
My wife said. are you even listening to me? She turned around and walked away. I stared at her blankly and thought that's an odd way to start a conversation
Huh?
two conceited people having s**......
...girl says "tight, huh?" guy replys "nah, just full"
A guy comes home with flowers for his wife. She says I guess I'll have to spread my legs now huh? He says ....
Why?!? Don't you have a vase?
A guy was checking out at a supermarket with an attractive young clerk.
She scanned the frozen dinners, the beer, the ramen noodles and kept giving him eyes in between each scan.
As she scanned the condoms she looks and him and says, "Single huh?"
He replies, "yea, how'd you know?"
She says, "Because you're ugly."
d**...
Two buddies were drinking while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it d**...?" Asked the one.
"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I see, k**..., huh?"
"Well, not exactly..."
"I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."
A women tells her lover to "Put two fingers in." So he does...
Then she says, "put your hand in." So he does.
Then she says, "Put your other hand in." So he does.
Then she says, "Now clap." And he says, "I can't".
And she says proudly, "Tight, huh?"
It's a Saturday evening...
It's a Saturday evening. A man goes up to the register in a supermarket, bearing a six pack of beer, a bag of chips, some dip, a pint of ice cream, and toilet paper. The cashier says, "Single, huh?"
The man laughs and says, "Yeah, how can you tell?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."
Where is the serial number on a c**...?
Never had to roll it down that far, huh?
A group of soldiers stood in formation at an army base.
The drill sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out!"
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow.
The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
Can Flemish and Dutch people understand each other?
Two Flemish men are in Holland and see a poster: "Shirts - 5 Euros". They turn to each other and say "Wow, that's cheap. Let's buy a dozen to resell them back in Belgium"
They enter the store and say, in their best possible Dutch: "We would like 10 shirts, please".
The man behind the counter answers "Ah, I see that you're Flemish" They reply: "Huh, how? Is our Dutch not that good?"
"No, you both speak it perfectly, but this is a dry cleaners"
My wife dragged me to a classical concert.
Me: I hope this concert has a lot of ado.
Her: Huh?
MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado....
Me: F*c**....
Two cows were grazing in the field, when one of them says to the other, "How about that mad cow disease, huh?"
The second one says, "Why should I care? I'm a helicopter"
A couple moves into an apartment and decides to paper the living room.
They ask their neighbor, who has the same size living room, if he had ever papered his room and how many rolls he bought. The neighbor answers "Eleven".
So the couple buys 11 rolls of expensive wall paper and gets to work. To their surprise, after 8 rolls the living room is finished. Annoyed, they confront their neighbor about the 3 wasted rolls.
He replies "Huh. That happened to you too?"
The midget vampire woke up from his 100-year slumber
His first words were: "Huh... I'm a little stiff".
Think like a man
"If you want to understand a man, you have to think like a man."
"Huh?"
"That's very good for a start!"
I asked my 2 yr old to "give me a minute".
So my 2 y.o. daughter follows me almost *everywhere* around the house. I walked into the bathroom yesterday and sure enough, there she is 5 seconds later. Frustrated, I said, "Can you please just give me 1 minute?" She says, "Huh? Ok." and right when I think she's going to give me a moment of peace she reaches into her imaginary back pocket and says, "Here you go." :/
Someone told me there was caffeine in chocolate
If that's true, then why has my dog been asleep for so long, huh?
Sven and Oli went to the lumber store
Sven went in and Oli stayed in the truck. Sven said to the lumberman, I need a four-by-two . The lumberman said, Do you mean a two-by-four? . Sven said, let me ask my brudder . Sven came back and said, yup we need a two-by-four . The lumberman said, How long? . Sven said, huh? . The lumberman said, How long do you need it? Sven just stood there, not understanding. The lumberman said, Go ask your brother. Sven went out to the truck, and came back and said, We need it quite a while, we're building a garage
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender
"Give me two beers. Rough day at work."
And the bartender says, "Oh? what do you do?"
The guy says, "I take care of the Corgis - you know, the dogs that the royal family owns."
The bartender says, "Tough job, huh?"
The guy says, "Well, all that in-breeding has led to low intelligence
and bad temperament. And the dogs aren't that smart either."
A mother asks her son how things are going with his girlfriend. He replies, "It didn't work out."
"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that," says his mother. "What happened?"
The son looks confused.
"Huh? I just told you. She didn't exercise enough."
A woman brought her husband to a doctor to try to cure his snoring problem.
Dr.: "it is possible to treat, but it will cost you a lot of money."
Woman: "that's fine, how much will it cost?"
Dr.: "$20,000 down payment, and $250 in monthly intervals for a year."
Woman: "woah, its almost like im buying a sports car!!"
Dr.: "hmm... too obvious, huh?"
My wife glared at me from across the table and said, You weren't even listening were you!
I couldn't help thinking "Huh. That's an odd way to start a conversation .
"I've been in 3 emotionally abusive relationships"
Said Dave to his new friend.
"I'm so sorry!"
"Huh. I had them thinking it was their fault as well"
Luella and Rose
There were these two sisters Luella and Rose. They were going
to get a picture taken of themselves as they just got their checks.
They go to the studio and after the photographer fools with the
camera he tells Rose to sit quietly because he had to focus.
Well, Luella being hard of hearing says, "Huh?"
Rose says, "Be still girl he's gonna focus!"
Luella looks and says, "Both of us?"
So I got my first covid vaccine shot today
Afterwards, I ran into a friend and told him about it.
He replied: Huh, you took the vaccine shot?
Me: Uhm yes, why wouldn't I?
Him: I thought you were an anti-vaxxer?
Me: What, no. Why would you think that?
Him: Well most morons are...
She's n**....
A taxi driver spot a girl hailing for a cab outside a nightclub. She was completely n**.... He stopped and she went into the taxi.
Throughout the drive, the girl noticed that the driver kept looking at her with the front mirror. "Hey man, never see a hot n**... girl before huh? Why don't you keep your eyes on the road", she said.
Then, the driver stopped driving before turning around and stare at her intensely.
"Nah, I'm just wondering where you keep the money for my cab, b**...!"
I found out my husband got fired from his job today. In order to cheer him up I got him his favorite soy sauce.
He said to me
"Oh I see. Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"
Guy: I have bad news...
Girl: Me too...Mike cheated on me...
Guy: I have good news!
Girl: huh?
Guy: I accidentally hit him on my way to work today
Pale Tomatoes...
Two women are talking while gardening. "Oh, I am SO jealous of your tomatoes. Mine are so pale and yours are bright red.".
"It's easy, just walk out in your nightgown early in the morning and flash them. They'll be bright red after a couple of days."
They meet again a few weeks later.
"Hey, did my hint about your tomatoes help?"
"Huh. The tomatoes are still pale, but my cucumbers are like five feet...".
I went to the library today and said, "I'd like to check these books out."
The librarian said, "Sorry, that's actually against the rules."
"Huh?!"
The librarian replied, "You see, checking them out only makes them shelf conscious."
I guess she's got me there.
I stopped at a restaurant for dinner. The waitress asked me if I would like a salad, and I said, "I'll pass, even though I know I shouldn't." And she said, "Seahawks fan, huh?"
Old Man VS KGB
An old man somewhere in the Soviet Union's has dug his vase. Early in the morning two KGB officers show up at his place and ask him about his vase. He swears to God that he hasn't got any food.
Then they give him a shovel and point at the place to dig.
He digs the vase.
"Huh you silly old man. What's this? What are you hiding in it?"
"I ain't hiding anything" says he and opens the vase. It is just as empty as he said.
"You old man, I don't understand this. Why did you dig this vase into the ground then?"
"Well..." starts the old man "I had a new neighbor moving in and I was curious if is he a snitch"
An eye-rolling joke
Dad: You know who all I saw today?
Daughter: Who?
Dad: Everybody I looked at
Daughter: Huh?!
Dad: You don't like my vision joke? Too bad, that's how eye-roll ** rolls eyes **
Daughter: I'm not laughing at your eye rolling jokes again
Dad: Why? Is it too "cornea" for you? XD
Daughter: I give up, lol.
Dad: I'm still the master, you're still the "pupil" XD
How do you take your coffee?
**Barista:** How do you take your coffee?
**Customer:** Ferguson Police
**Barista:** Huh?
**Customer:** Black, two shots.
Freddie Mercury was once out with a couple of friends.
They were having a good time, when he got up to leave. They asked him what was the matter.
He said he had some business to attend to at the local Bee Farm.
So they said
Bee's Mill, huh? We will not let you go!
A Communist Party Bureaucrat drives down to a collective farm to register a potato harvest
"Comrade farmer, how has the harvest been this year?" the official asks.
"Oh, by the grace of God we have had mountains of potatoes", answers the farmer.
"But there is no God" counters the official.
"Huh", says the farmer, "And there are no mountains of potatoes either"
The workout
A triathlete walks into a bar to replenish some carbs after a hard workout and orders a beer. "I just got done doing a 10-mile open water swim," he brags to the bartender. "Ten miles, huh? That's impressive," the bartender replies. "I'd struggle to do that much on a bike." "Yeah, well bikes aren't that good in water," the athlete says.
Coworker: Long day, huh?
Me: *looks at calendar* The longest.
I hate how you can accidentally make a person but can't accidentally make a pizza.
I mean who decided that, huh?
