Hugs Jokes
32 hugs jokes and hilarious hugs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hugs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Hugs Short Jokes
Short hugs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hugs humour may include short hugging jokes also.
- A thief pointed a knife at me and said "your money or your life" I smiled and told him I was married, so I have no money or a life. He dropped the knife and we hugged and cried for a moment.
- I told my dad to embrace his mistakes... I told my dad to embrace his mistakes.
He cried.
Then he hugged me and my brother. - My wife told me to kiss her like if we were in a soap opera I hugged her tight, kissed her with passion and then slapped her because how dare she?!
- I OBJECT! the defendant screams in court. The judge gives her a very emotional hug and says, No…you human.
- What's the difference between Mcgregor and Mayweather? Mcgregor hugs his wife and beats his opponents while
Mayweather beats his wife and hugs his opponents - Sometimes, I will squat to the floor, hug my legs, and lean forward. That's just how I roll.
- i told my girlfriend yesterday, she should learn to embrace her mistakes she seemed very content, because she instantly hugged me.
- My wife asked me how she looked I told her that she was a 10/10 and she hugged me, i had to inform her that 10/10 is still equal to 1
- A son asks his dad if he regrets anything about having a son at 16. Nuttin the dad responds with a straight face.
Thanks Dad the son says as he gives the dad a hug. - A son is coming out to his father "I'm gay" the son says.
"You aren't thinking straight" says the dad.
And then they laugh and hug, for it was a dad joke.
Share These Hugs Jokes With Friends
Hugs One Liners
Which hugs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hugs? I can suggest the ones about hugged and hug day.
- I told my dad to embrace his mistakes He gave me a hug
- I told my wife she needed to start embracing her mistakes. So she gave me a hug.
- I can tell how uncomfortable a person is... ...just by hugging them for 18 minutes.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mstakes... She gave me a hug.
- My girlfriend told me to man up and embrace my mistakes I hugged her.
- I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
- You know you are fat when ... you hug a child and it gets lost.
- Always hug your enemies Then you'll know what size the hole needs to be in your garden
- You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.
- I told my husband he could embrace his mistakes So then he hugged our children.
- My dad told my mom to embrace her mistakes. She hugged him.
- What do you call a snuggly rabbit? Hugs Bunny
- I told my mother to embrace her mistakes She proceeded to hug me
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes She hugged me
- How do nudists greet each other? With a bare hug.
Amusing & Witty Hugs Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about hugs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cuddle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hugs pranks.
Good, Bad, Worse, Worst.
Good: A hot girl hugs you.
Bad: You get an e**....
Worse: You realize it's not yours.
Worst: Now even you get an e**....
A beautiful blonde walks up to a craps table...
She bets ten thousand on one roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel luckier when I'm n**...."
She strips down and rolls the dice. When she sees the dice she jumps for joy screaming "I won! I won!" She hugs the dealers, takes her winnings and leaves.
Finally, one of the dealers asks, "What did she roll?" The other says, "I thought you were watching!"
It goes to show: Not all blondes are dumb, but men will always be men.
A man walks up to a widow at her husband's f**...
"Would you mind if I said a word about your husband?"
She nods, so he walks up to the podium and says "Plethora".
Returns to the widow and she hugs him and says, "Thank you, that means a lot."
A mother is helping her son revise for a geography exam
She asks "What's the Capital of Germany?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then asks "What's the Capital of France?"
He replies "Berlin."
She asks "What's the Capital of Russia?"
He replies "Berlin."
She finally asks "What's the Capital of Poland?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then hugs him and says "I'm sure you'll do great, Adolf"
Husband after losing another argument,
tells his wife, "You must learn to learn to embrace your mistakes."
Wife runs over and hugs him.
An Arab Sheikh sends his son to France for his studies. A year later the son comes back but the Sheikh realises that something is bothering his son. After some questioning, the son tells his father that he goes to college in his Porsche but the other students come by train. It's not right.
The Sheikh feels terrible, hugs his son and says, 'Don't worry son... I'll buy you a train today!'
"David, why don't you go and play with...
...with Jimmy?" asks the mother.
"Oh mum, you wouldn't want to play with a filthy, obscene, thieving, lying boy, would you?"
"Of course not." says the mother, as she hugs her son.
"Well, Jimmy wouldn't either..."
an irish girl confesses shes a p**... to her father
at first he gets s**... angry starts yelling at her, how could she betray him, calls her all kinds of names including soup taker. She looks confused at this and asks her father to accompany her to confession. Her dad stares at her for a moment and then he hugs her, crying tears of relief. The he says, "I thought you said you were a protestant!"
What kind of fish loves hugs?
A Cuttle Fish.
My 12yo son hasn't hit his growth spurt, and was asked out by a girl. "But dad, she's too tall!" he complained. I replied, there's two great things about dating a taller girl:
Hugs.
(He blushed and walked a away. Got him!)
Jeffery d**... is in his kitchen, using his blender...
... when his phone goes off in his pocket. It was a notification from the CDC:
"The public is still advised to avoid direct contact from others through cordial gestures during this pandemic, such as hugs or ***handshakes.*** "
"Awwwwww..." Jeffery mopes, as he turns off his blender.
What's the difference between a beautiful night and a horror night?
Beautiful night is when you hug your teddy bear and sleep.
Horror night is...
when your teddy bear hugs you BACK.
What is the cuddliest particle known to science?
The HUGS boson!
People always say Hugs not Drugs
But whenever i call my dealer he calls me gay!
P.S: I regret nothing.
I used to hate giving people hugs...
Now I embrace them
