Huge Jokes
146 huge jokes and hilarious huge puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about huge that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your friends laugh out loud with these huge jokes! This article will provide you with the biggest jokes about huge foreheads, heads, feet, teeth, and noses. Enjoy some of the most outrageous and enormous jokes that will leave your friends in stitches. Get ready to laugh your head off and feel the windmill!
Quick Jump To
- Short Huge Jokes
- Huge One Liners
- Huge Fan Jokes
- Huge Head Jokes
- Huge Feet Jokes
- Huge Amounts Jokes
- Huge Forehead Jokes
- More Huge Jokes
Funniest Huge Short Jokes
Short huge jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The huge humour may include short large jokes also.
- A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference For example:
Johnny ate his own lunch after school.
Johnny ate his own colon after school. - In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed in him To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him
- My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo The money's not great but the tips are huge
- My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill... So, I sent him a 'Get well Soon' card.
- Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work. The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.
- Yesterday I robbed the oversized board game store It was a huge Risk that I was willing to take
- Greta Thunberg has just been confirmed as a huge polluter. Her Tweet to Tater-Tot was easily the biggest burn in history.
- My wife and I had a huge argument last week. She called me gullible and financially irresponsible. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I tell her I just won the Nigerian lottery!
- Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.
- During interviews he seems like such a nice guy, but the actor who plays Wolverine is a real phoney It's a huge act, man..
Share These Huge Jokes With Friends
Huge One Liners
Which huge one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with huge? I can suggest the ones about significant and enormous.
- If Christ were alive today, he'd have a huge retirement account because Jesus saves.
- What kind of music do wind turbines like? They're huge metal fans
- The next iPhone won't be a failure In fact, it'll be a huge 6S.
- My last job was circumcising elephants The pay wasn't great but the tips were huge.
- Why don't they put advertisements on the Hulk? He's basically a huge banner.
- Sad news, my obese parrot died today. Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
- I have a huge phobia of hair. I dreadlocks.
- My obese parrot just died. I'm very sad but it is a huge weight off my shoulders.
- What is a windmill's favorite kind of music? I've heard they're huge metal fans...
- My parrot got so fat that it died. It's a huge weight off my shoulder.
- There's a huge party at the orphanage tonight Their parents are gone.
- The iPhone 6S+ has been doing really well so far... It seems to be a huge 6S
- If the moon landing was indeed fake NASA would owe us a huge Apollo-gy.
- Huge shoutout to everyone who helped me learn the definition of 'many'. It means a lot!
- The castle in Tallinn was destroyed yesterday It was a huge loss
Huge Fan Jokes
Here is a list of funny huge fan jokes and even better huge fan puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two wind turbines... Two wind turbines are in a field when one turns to the other:
He says: "What's your favourite type of music"
The second one says: "Actually I'm a huge metal fan" - Two Wind turbines are in a field. One turns to the other and asks: " what is your type of music ?"
"i'm a huge metal fan" - Two electric windmills are standing in a field. One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?" The second one replies "I'm a huge metal fan".
- I met a woman who said she was a huge Monkees fan She told me she had collected every piece of merchandise ever made for the band. I was skeptical.
Then I saw her place... - Two windmills were hanging out in a field. One windmill asked the other, what type of music do you like? The other responded, I'm a huge metal fan.
- I once attended a sermon at a church in Finland. The congregation must have been huge Mortal Kombat fans because they were singing a Finnish hymn.
- A wind turbine and an A/C unit walk into a bar The wind turbine asks: "Hey man! How's your job going?"
A/C unit: "ehh, it's cool but I'm not a huge fan." - My girlfriend is a huge Harry Potter fan She always wears an invisibility cloak.
- Are you fond of alternative sources for cooling technologies? I'm a huge fan.
- Two giant wind turbines are standing in a field One turns to the other and asks what of music do you like?
The second one says, well, I'm a huge metal fan
Huge Head Jokes
Here is a list of funny huge head jokes and even better huge head puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If JFK was alive today He would have a huge hole in his head
- I get so bothered by people who use words without knowing what they mean it always gives me a huge hysterectomy on the side of my head.
- Today, I lost my head It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders
- I hate when people use words without knowing the meaning... gives me a huge hysterectomy on the side of my head.
- The head coach of the Cleveland Browns walks into a bar after chopping some wood. The bartender says "That's a huge axe son."
- I had to visit a doctor today... I hit my head really hard and gave myself a n**... bump. The doctor was a real quack though, all he told me was to duck next time. Plus I left with a huge bill!
Huge Feet Jokes
Here is a list of funny huge feet jokes and even better huge feet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was trying to sell my pet python today Guy asked: is it big?
I said: Huge!
He said: How many feet?
I said: None - it's a snake! - I always hear people comparing my dad to Bigfoot... He's 7 ft tall, hairy, has huge feet, and I haven't seen him once
- So a s**... takes a huge rip of this b**.... Like two feet long, and white walls it... And then uh, um... dude what was I saying?
Huge Amounts Jokes
Here is a list of funny huge amounts jokes and even better huge amounts puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing. ... i can find the door out.
- I recently came into a HUGE amount of money. Unfortunately, though, I'm barred from future tours of the Mint.
- Alexander Graham Bell is always given a huge amount of praise for inventing the first telephone The credit should really go to whomever invented the SECOND telephone.
- Why was the busy doctor calm under huge amounts of pressure? Lots of patients.
- A mathematician wanted some change to his career he started dealing drugs He delta huge amount of drugs.
- What do you call a pair girls with huge amounts of dept? 2 Broke Girls
Huge Forehead Jokes
Here is a list of funny huge forehead jokes and even better huge forehead puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife got me a mood ring... When I'm in a good mood it turns blue.
When I'm angry it leaves a huge red mark on her forehead.
Hilarious Fun Huge Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about huge you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean massive jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make huge pranks.
Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...
She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."
He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".
What did the chef say when he cooked up moose meat instead of beef?
"Oh no! I've made a huge MooseSteak!"
The morticians wife.
The mortician gets a call to come pick up Schultz, who dies unexpectedly. While getting him ready for the f**..., he can't help but notice Schultz has a freakishly huge male member. So he cuts it off, puts it in a bag, and brings it home to show his wife this amazing specimen.
He gets home and says, " Honey come look at the amazing thing I found at work today!" She comes over, takes a look in the bag and shrieks loudly, "Oh my God! Schultz is dead!"
I like my (wo)men like I like my coffee...
...hot, black, and strong
^(possibly the original)
...thin, pale, and extra-sweet.
...50% alcohol.
...all over my g**... while I'm trying to drive.
...I don't like coffee.
...imported from micronesia.
...free, fresh and in the breakroom.
...huge and cheap with room for cream.
...cold, bitter, expensive and Italian.
...in a plastic cup.
^(eddie izzard)
...ground up, roasted, and quickly disposed of.
I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out.
It felt good being on the winning side for once.
Little Johnny walks in on his parents having s**........
his father sees him, but instead of saying anything, he gives Johnny a huge grin and thumbs up, then starts to really give it to the old lady. The next night, the father gets up to go to the restroom, and he hears noises coming from Johnny's room. He looks in the door, and Johnny is on top of his grandmother, really giving it to her. Johnny looks at his father, gives him a grin and says, "not so funny when it's your Mom, is it?"
Over smart.
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
A bear walks into a bar...
Bartender asks: "What would you like?"
Bear says: "Can I have a... ... ... ... beer please."
Bartender asks: "Why the huge pause?"
Bear says: "I dunno. Had 'em since I was a kid."
Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common?
Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.
I thought of this joke this morning in the shower
A professional baseball team is at the airport flying home after a huge victory, and the team manager decides to splurge by buying first class tickets for everyone. Excited to fly in luxury, everyone boards the plane. The team quickly realizes, though, that they failed to reserve enough seats. Nobody is quite sure what to do, but eventually a rookie on the team stands up and shouts "put me in coach!"
The best jokes also teach you something.
In 1954 John Stapp broke a huge record. Using a rocket powered sled that was going 632 mph, he came to a full stop in just over 1 second. He experienced 46.2 G's making his 168 pound body feel for an instant like it was 7,700 pounds and he STILL only felt half as fat as yo mamma.
I made a huge mistake
I took my girlfriend to Subway, when she got her six inch sub, she looked at me and she instantly knew that I've been lying to her for years.
What do people with huge p**... eat for breakfast?
Well, I had toast.
A hero comes to a village...
The villagers all looks very upset, so the hero ask what happen. "There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it will come down and eat one of our v**... girls" the villager reply. The hero then promise to help. Two weeks later, the dragon starved to death.
Two brothers live together, and one of them makes tennis equipment for people with gigantism.
Late one night, he is up, hard at work, when his brother knocks on the door. He gets up from his desk, and answers the door.
"What do you want?" he asks.
His brother responds: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Can you stop making a huge racket?"
What is a huge benefit of dating an Ethiopian girl?
You know they'll s**...
My friend and I were hiking
Me: "That's a huge rock over there!"
Him: "Boulder."
Me: **"That's a huge rock over there."**
I got a new job at a quarry today, and the foreman was showing me around when
I saw this huge rock. I told him, "Wow! That's a really big rock!"
"Boulder." He says.
**"WOW!!!! THATS A REALLY MASSIVE ROCK,"** I say while puffing my chest out.
In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said...
Yes, Oui, Si, Ja
So a man dies and goes to heaven...
When he got there, he approached St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asked "What, in your opinion, was your most noble deed?"
"Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing an old lady outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring."
Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?"
"Uh, about 5 minutes ago."
It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M-
A-N. 1948. HUGE upset.
Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true.
I had a huge home party last night and I was unpleasantly woken up by a surprise b**....
Next time I'll sleep with my mouth closed.
A man comes home to his wife after winning the lottery
The man says to his wife, "Honey, if I were to win the lottery, what would you do?"
The wife becomes started by her husband's inquiry but replies, "Well I would take half of it and then leave you."
With a huge grin on his face, her husband says, "Perfect! I won ten dollars!"
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS...
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.
The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea.
He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop.
It read… MAIN ENTRANCE.
A guy gets taken to his cell on his first day of prison...
...he meets his cellmate for the first time, a huge hulk of a man, who turns to him and says, 'We're gonna play a game, a game of mommies and daddies... Do you wanna be the mommy or the daddy?'
The new convict relunctantly replies, 'I guess I'll, ...I'll be the, ...the daddy?...'
The inmate smiles and says 'Fantastic! ...Now come over here and s**... mommy's c**...'.
I used to work at the circus
I was the guy that circumcised the elephants.
The pay wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
I took a job at a zoo performing elephant circumcisions
The benefits aren't great, but the tips are huge.
My wife and I had a huge argument because she accidentally flooded the kitchen
but we've sorted it now. It's all water under the fridge.
So a prison break was happening...
And I happened to be walking around when it happened. It had a huge wall, and I saw someone climbing down from it. Turns out I knew the guy, he's a famous midget con artist that I ratted out. As he climbed down, he gave me this wretched look.
It was a little condescending.
A famous heart surgeon died and everyone was gathered at his f**.... A coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone had paid their respects, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.
Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him said, control yourself man.
I'm sorry, he replied, I was thinking about my own f**....
What's so funny about that?
I'm a gynecologist.
Smart first grader
A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?
Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.
Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?
Then I'd be a football fan.
Translated Chinese joke
Good news: Today is the little Johnny's first time flying!
Bad news: The engine caught fire as soon as he took off
Good news: He took a parachute with him so he could bail out
Bad news: The parachute failed midair
Good news: He saw a huge stack of hay right beneath him
Bad news: The top of the haystack is smeared with s**...t
Good news: He didn't land on the s**...t
Bad news: He didn't land on the haystack either
How do you make an art student's car go faster?
Just remove the huge Dominoes sign on top!
'I just feel like being black is a huge disadvantage no matter how much skill you have ' said my friend
'oh come on, it's just one move at the start of the game' I responded as I took his Knight.
I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe...
I don't care how big a spider is, no-one steals my shoe...
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"I put an ad on Craigslist today trying to sell my pet python," he tells the bartender. "Is it big?" the bartender asks. "It's freakin' huge!" the guy replies. "How many feet?" the bartender asks. "None you idiot," the guy replies. "It's a snake."
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton-b**... and a ball of string on the counter.
The sales girl says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own... so does she."
My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in August! I said, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...
It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
My grandpa was telling me about when he used to hunt tigers.
He said, "this one time I was alone in the jungle when out of the bushes, right in front of me, a huge tiger leaped out suddenly and went RRROOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!! Kid, you won't believe it, I s**... myself."
I raised my eyebrows. "You bet I believe it, I'd have s**... myself too if that happened to me."
"That's not what I mean g**..., go fetch me some toilet paper."
Bigger in Texas
A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. Wow, this bed is big!
Everything is big in Texas, says the bellhop.
The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. Wow these drinks are big!
The bartender replies, Everything is big in Texas.
After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. Second door to the right, says the bartender.
The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, Don't flush, don't flush!
An assistant to Donald Trump
>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.**
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.**
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!**
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"**
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**
My obese parrot died recently.
It's been really sad, but it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
I used to work at the zoo, where my job was to circumcise Elephants.
The pay was rubbish, but the tips were huge!
My little daughter came to me all excited, shrieking, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in October! Playing along, I laughed, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...
It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...
A black man walks into a restaurant..
There is a huge sign on wall that says "Colored People Not Allowed."
The man takes a seat and a white man comes over in a hurry and says, " Excuse me son, we don't serve colored people in this restaurant. Im going to have to ask you to leave."
The black man smiles, looks at the white man and says, "Sir, when I was born I was black, when I am sick I'm black, when I'm cold I'm black, when I'm angry I'm black and when I sad I'm black.
But you, sir, when you're born you're pink, when you're sick you are green, when you're cold you turn blue and when you're angry you turn red.
And you have the nerve to call me colored!"
A man hasn't been to church for a long while and decides he'd better go to confession before starting to go again. When he enters the confessional box he's amazed to find that it's got a bar lined with finest whiskeys and a huge array of the finest cigars.
As he's looking at this in wonder, the priest comes in.
The man says, Father, forgive me, it's a long time since my last confession. I must say though, that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.
The priest says, Get out,you idiot. You're on my side.
A very religious man went on a safari
When he was there, he found a huge lion. The man didn't have a gun and there was no way he could outrun the lion. So, he did the only thing he could do. He got on his knees and prayed "Dear God, I was always a good Christian. Will you perform a miracle and give this lion some christian feelings".
That moment, the clouds parted and a beam of light came from above and touched the lion's heart. The lion raised his paws to the heavens and loudly prayed "Thank you Lord for this meal I'm about to receive."
PS: it was a beam of light.
PPS: 12 700 upvotes and 17 awards. Thank you so much. I haven't been this happy since Xmas.
When I die I want to come back as a spider,
That way I'll finally hear girls say "o**... it's huge"
Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.
His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.
Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.
His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.
Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.
A man died and went to heaven.
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?"
That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie"
"Incredible," said the man.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where is Trump's clock?"
"His Clock is in Jesus office. He's using it as a ceiling fan
A solar panel, a wind turbine and a hydro dam are all getting to know each other.
'What kind of music are you into?' asks the dam.
'I'm into trance', replies the solar panel.
'Ooh, too intense for me', dam says, 'I much prefer classical melodies, maybe a little 60s soul at the weekends.'
'What about you Mr Turbine? What are you into?'
'Me?' He replies, 'I'm a huge metal fan.'
A zoo's only gorilla dies...
so the zookeeper hires an actor to wear a gorilla costume until the zoo can get another one.
In the gorilla pen the actor makes faces, beats his chest, swings around, and soon draws a huge crowd. Encouraged, he then crawls atop a beam across the lion's enclosure, taunting the animal below. But, in horror, he lost his grip, falling into the lion's cage.
Terrified, the actor shouts, Help! Help me! Too late. The lion pounces, opens its massive jaws, and whispers urgently, Shut up! Do you want to get us both fired?!
A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. Dad, what music did you like growing up?
I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin, the father replies.
Who? the son asks.
Yeah, the dad responds, I liked them too.
This pastor decided to skip church one sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried is an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
My wife and I had a huge argument today. By the time we were finished, she was on her knees begging...
for me to come out from under the bed and act like an adult.
I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe
I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe
I dropped a huge bottle of ketchup on my foot yesterday....
It caused severe pain To-ma-toes.
