Huge Amounts Jokes
10 huge amounts jokes and hilarious huge amounts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about huge amounts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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What is a good huge amounts joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.
... i can find the door out.
I recently came into a HUGE amount of money.
Unfortunately, though, I'm barred from future tours of the Mint.
A huge crab walks into a bar...
...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"
Alexander Graham Bell is always given a huge amount of praise for inventing the first telephone
The credit should really go to whomever invented the SECOND telephone.
A Texan was talking to a rancher from Canada...
about the overseas market. The Texan was bragging about his huge herds and the vast amounts of money he was making shipping thousands of heads of cattle overseas every year to the Chinese market.
The Canadian, not wanting to be outdone, shot back, "Yeah? Well I ship that much cattle every month!"
The Texan looked at him for a moment, then smiled as he said, "Well, you got me there then. You clearly are the biggest bull shipper I ever met!"
Why was the busy doctor calm under huge amounts of pressure?
Lots of patients.
A mathematician wanted some change to his career he started dealing drugs
He delta huge amount of drugs.
What do you call a pair girls with huge amounts of dept?
2 Broke Girls
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a bar
and he sees a huge amount of people milling about, waiting for the bartender to ladle out cups of red liquid from a bowl.
When the man finally gets to the counter, he asks for a double whiskey.
"Ain't got no whiskey," says the bartender. The man asks for v**..., to the same result. Same goes for gin, tequila, and r**....
Frustrated, the man throws up his hands. "Look, I walked into a bar; isn't this where you come to get alcohol?"
The bartender shakes his head and says "oh, sorry no - this is just the punch line."
Artemis the Strangler
A few years ago, there was a hitman named Artemis who was known and sought after for his uncanny ability to strangle people. One day, he got an assignment from the local mob to take out a man who owed huge amounts of money and was refusing to pay it back. Artemis took the job, but the man turned out to be almost impossible to find. The target would seemingly vanish whenever Artemis was in the vicinity and tracking him was practically impossible.
However, one day Artemis got a call from his boss. The man had been spotted at a local Kroger and, since nobody knew when he would appear again, Artemis was to strangle the man in the store. Artemis was reluctant at first, but he was getting very tired of the long project and agreed to track the man inside.
Luckily, Artemis was able to corner the man in the produce aisle and strangle him. Unluckily, just as he was laying the man's body down, a woman came around the corner. Artemis panicked and in his desperation strangled the woman, only to see a poor store clerk out of the corner of his eye. Artemis strangled this man too. Finally, a manager came around the corner and also met his end.
All of this became too much for Artemis to cover up and he was arrested outside of the store. The next day, the local paper ran the headline:
ARTY CHOKES FOUR FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGERS
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