Huff Jokes
22 huff jokes and hilarious huff puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about huff that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Huff Short Jokes
Short huff jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The huff humour may include short puff jokes also.
- Two elderly, female roommates are sitting alone again one night. One huffs at the other. Can I be frank with you? The other says; Sure, as long as I get to be Frank tomorrow.
- Best part about mask requirements I can huff gasoline at work, and none would be the wiser!
- A fool with migraines feels that doctors aren't taking him seriously Every doctor he went to said "it's all in your head", which insulted the fool, so he left in a huff.
Share These Huff Jokes With Friends
Huff One Liners
Which huff one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with huff? I can suggest the ones about sniff and hush.
- What does the Big Bad Wolf do to get high? He huffs and he puffs.
- Life is like huffing butane... first you huff the butane, then you die
- Why do horses have big nostrils? Cause they pick their nose with the huffs
Comical Huff Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about huff you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ruff jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make huff pranks.
Two british men are sitting at a bus stop...
When a man, clearly not from their town, comes up towards them.
"Parlez-vous Français?" The man asks the two Brits.
Confused, they stare blankly at the foreigner.
"Hablan ustedes Español?" The man tries again - still no reaction from the two men.
Frustrated, the foreigner tries one more time.
"Sprechen sie Deutsch?"
but the two men at the bus stop still have no clue what he's saying, and the foreigner storms off in a huff.
A couple seconds later, one of the men sitting on the bench turns to the other and says, "We should probably learn a language."
The other man turns to him and says, "Why? He knew three, and it didn't do him any good!"
The tiny door to the magic castle was barely big enough to crawl through. It was carved with a half-lion, half-eagle, and guarded by a fearsome raven that would only allow you to pass if you breathed on its foot...
So basically you had to huff n puff on the raven claw then slither in the griffon door.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man comes home and goes to bed with his wife...
Suddenly, he gets mad and says "floral bed sheets? Don't you know that I hate floral bed sheets?" and goes under the bed in a huff. He meets another n**... man under the bed and tells him "apparently, you don't like floral bed sheets either."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A rural country man is visiting a prestigious college in the big city for the first time.
He's a little lost, so he flags down a passing student and asks, "'Scuse me, could y'all tell me where the library's at?"
The student draws himself up in a huff, and answers haughtily, "I'll have you know that I am an English major with a 4.0 GPA, and I absolutely refuse to answer a question that ends in a preposition!"
The country man thinks for a moment. "OK, then. Could y'all tell me where the library's at, *a**...?"*
The girlfriend announced...
"I love you lots, snuggles."
"And I love you tons." I replied.
"Oh, I see." She said, in a huff. "You've got no nickname for me, then?"
Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.
I like huffing brake fluid, but don't worry:
I can stop any time I like.
Huffington Post has fired their entire opinion section.
It's all unbiased and factual journalism now.
Speeding Ticket
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her if he could kindly see her license.
She replied in a huff 'I wish you guys would get your act together, just yesterday you took away my license, and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man walks into a Catholic church at night
To his surprise, two priests walk up to excitedly greet him.
"Hello!" Says the other. "I am Paul Unch, and this is Liam Ine, we're the priests here. If you'll walk this way-"
"Hold up", says the man. "P. Unch and L. Ine? I'm in a s**... joke, right?"
"O-h**...!" exclaims Ine. "You got us!"
"Alright, screw this. I'm leaving." And he walks out in a huff.
"Well, that got rid of him", said Ine. "Paul, get the altar boys back in."
I used to hide my ex-girlfriend's asthma inhaler...
Because my neighbors thought i was a total stallion. They used to hear her all night... *HUFF PUFF WHEEZE* "GIVE IT TO ME!" *HUFF PUFF WHEEZE* "GIVE IT TO ME!"
Boom.
She huffed, she snorted, she was gasping for air!
I thought to myself, I really need a new car.
Mr. Rogers the biology teacher called on Mary
"Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions expands upto 6 times it's normal size?"
Mary gasped and said in a huff, " Mr. Rogers! That is a very inappropriate question. The principal will be hearing of this. " She sat down red faced.
"Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Rogers.
"The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions." said Susan.
"That is correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you, Firstly, You have not studied your lesson.
Secondly, You have a dirty mind. And Third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday."
A group of strings go on a night out
They walk up the the first bar and ask for a pint of guinness and 2 carlsbergs. The barman asks "are you a piece of string?" The string says yes. The barman tells the string "we dont serve string here". So the group walk away in a huff. The second string walks up to another bar and asks for the same order. Again, the barman asks "are you a piece of string?" The string says yes, the barman tells them they dont serve string. The third string had an idea. He messes up the end of his hair and walks up to the third bar. The barman asks "are you a piece of string?" The string replies "no, im a frayed knot."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman gets on a bus.
A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lady walks into WalMart...
...with her two children, the older boy is pushing the younger boy in the stroller. The greeter says "Welcome to Walmart, how you doin'?" The lady just rolls her eyes at him, yells at her kids to hurry up, and keeps on walking.
Just as she's passing him by, the greeter asks, "Are those twin boys?" The lady stops and turns with a big huff and says, "Of course they're not twins. This one is obviously years older than the other one. Why would you think they were twins? Are you s**... or something!?"
The greeter leans in real close and says, "I just find it hard to believe someone stuck around long enough to knock you up twice."
So there was this zebra....
... And he wanted to know if he was white with black stripes or black with white stripes. So, he asked St. Peter. St. Peter said,
'I'm sorry, but I can't answer that question for you. You'll have to go ask God.'
Then the zebra made the long, arduous, and perilous journey up to heaven to talk to God. He asked God,
'God, am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?' God simply said,
'You are what you are.'
'Well hmmph,' said the zebra with a huff, 'Fat lot of good that did me.' So, without having his pressing question answered, he made the long, arduous, and perilous journey back to Earth. He needed to have a word with St. Peter.
Once he got back to Earth, he sought out St. Peter and confronted him.
'St. Peter, God didn't answer my question at all!' he complained.
'Well, zebra, what did He say?' asked St. Peter.
'When I asked him my question, all He said was 'You are what you are.''
'Ah, I see now. You are indeed white with black stripes.' said St. Peter. At this, the zebra was enraged.
'WHAT?!?! You're telling me that after all this time and all this energy I wasted; after I went all the way up to Heaven to ask God this question, you knew the answer the whole time??'
'Now, zebra, calm down,' said St. Peter. 'You don't understand. My answer all depended on God's answer.' He let that sink in for a moment.
'You see, if you were, in fact, black with white stripes, God would have said 'You is whatchu is!''
