Huff Jokes
25 huff jokes and hilarious huff puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about huff that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Huff Short Jokes
Short huff jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The huff humour may include short puff jokes also.
- Chicken and an egg are sitting in bed... Egg says in a angry huff "I guess we answered THAT question!"
- Two elderly, female roommates are sitting alone again one night. One huffs at the other. Can I be frank with you? The other says; Sure, as long as I get to be Frank tomorrow.
- Best part about mask requirements I can huff gasoline at work, and none would be the wiser!
- A fool with migraines feels that doctors aren't taking him seriously Every doctor he went to said "it's all in your head", which insulted the fool, so he left in a huff.
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Huff One Liners
Which huff one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with huff? I can suggest the ones about sniff and hush.
- What does the Big Bad Wolf do to get high? He huffs and he puffs.
- Life is like huffing butane... first you huff the butane, then you die
- Why do horses have big nostrils? Cause they pick their nose with the huffs
- Why don't Native Americans like snow? Because they can't drink or huff it.
Comical Huff Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about huff you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ruff jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make huff pranks.
Two british men are sitting at a bus stop...
When a man, clearly not from their town, comes up towards them.
"Parlez-vous Français?" The man asks the two Brits.
Confused, they stare blankly at the foreigner.
"Hablan ustedes Español?" The man tries again - still no reaction from the two men.
Frustrated, the foreigner tries one more time.
"Sprechen sie Deutsch?"
but the two men at the bus stop still have no clue what he's saying, and the foreigner storms off in a huff.
A couple seconds later, one of the men sitting on the bench turns to the other and says, "We should probably learn a language."
The other man turns to him and says, "Why? He knew three, and it didn't do him any good!"
The tiny door to the magic castle was barely big enough to crawl through. It was carved with a half-lion, half-eagle, and guarded by a fearsome raven that would only allow you to pass if you breathed on its foot...
So basically you had to huff n puff on the raven claw then slither in the griffon door.
A man comes home and goes to bed with his wife...
Suddenly, he gets mad and says "floral bed sheets? Don't you know that I hate floral bed sheets?" and goes under the bed in a huff. He meets another n**... man under the bed and tells him "apparently, you don't like floral bed sheets either."
A rural country man is visiting a prestigious college in the big city for the first time.
He's a little lost, so he flags down a passing student and asks, "'Scuse me, could y'all tell me where the library's at?"
The student draws himself up in a huff, and answers haughtily, "I'll have you know that I am an English major with a 4.0 GPA, and I absolutely refuse to answer a question that ends in a preposition!"
The country man thinks for a moment. "OK, then. Could y'all tell me where the library's at, *a**...?"*
The girlfriend announced...
"I love you lots, snuggles."
"And I love you tons." I replied.
"Oh, I see." She said, in a huff. "You've got no nickname for me, then?"
Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.
I like huffing brake fluid, but don't worry:
I can stop any time I like.
Huffington Post has fired their entire opinion section.
It's all unbiased and factual journalism now.
Speeding Ticket
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her if he could kindly see her license.
She replied in a huff 'I wish you guys would get your act together, just yesterday you took away my license, and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
Man walks into a Catholic church at night
To his surprise, two priests walk up to excitedly greet him.
"Hello!" Says the other. "I am Paul Unch, and this is Liam Ine, we're the priests here. If you'll walk this way-"
"Hold up", says the man. "P. Unch and L. Ine? I'm in a s**... joke, right?"
"O-h**...!" exclaims Ine. "You got us!"
"Alright, screw this. I'm leaving." And he walks out in a huff.
"Well, that got rid of him", said Ine. "Paul, get the altar boys back in."
I used to hide my ex-girlfriend's asthma inhaler...
Because my neighbors thought i was a total stallion. They used to hear her all night... *HUFF PUFF WHEEZE* "GIVE IT TO ME!" *HUFF PUFF WHEEZE* "GIVE IT TO ME!"
Boom.
She huffed, she snorted, she was gasping for air!
I thought to myself, I really need a new car.
The ugly baby
A woman is getting on the bus with her baby in her arms. She's fumbling through her purse looking for the fare when the bus driver looks across and says "Gees lady, that's The Ugliest baby I have ever seen!"
She throws the fare at him and stumbles to the back of the bus in a huff.
"What happened lovey? Are you alright?" asks an elderly gentleman from the seat behind her.
"That awful bus driver just insulted me!" she sniveles.
"Im so sorry lovey. That's not ok. Here, hand me your monkey and go tell him off."
Mr. Rogers the biology teacher called on Mary
"Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions expands upto 6 times it's normal size?"
Mary gasped and said in a huff, " Mr. Rogers! That is a very inappropriate question. The principal will be hearing of this. " She sat down red faced.
"Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Rogers.
"The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions." said Susan.
"That is correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you, Firstly, You have not studied your lesson.
Secondly, You have a dirty mind. And Third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday."
A group of strings go on a night out
They walk up the the first bar and ask for a pint of guinness and 2 carlsbergs. The barman asks "are you a piece of string?" The string says yes. The barman tells the string "we dont serve string here". So the group walk away in a huff. The second string walks up to another bar and asks for the same order. Again, the barman asks "are you a piece of string?" The string says yes, the barman tells them they dont serve string. The third string had an idea. He messes up the end of his hair and walks up to the third bar. The barman asks "are you a piece of string?" The string replies "no, im a frayed knot."
Ugly Baby
A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Woman gets on a bus with her baby
A woman stepped onto a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "Lady, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and started getting really worked up. The man seated next to her sensed her agitation and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's exactly what you should do," the man said. "Here, I'll hold your monkey for you."
